My life has changed after being married to my husband for almost two years and dating him for about seven. I can say we have shared some wonderful moments together and some not so great times as well. Being young adults has given us an opportunity to grow, learn and thrive together. Many of us know relationships are hard work, marriage is no exception. Here is what I have learned (so far) as a newlywed:
1. Using the word marriage does add pressure: As much as you want to believe "nothing will change" and "it is just like dating, except you live together." Well no, marriage is a commitment and as any other commitment you do noticeably try harder. This pressure is not completely negative and it does have rewarding moments. Like when you need someone to come help change your tire, give you advice or vent about a long day at work. My husband is always there; he is the most wonderful, caring and loving man!
2. You will agree to disagree: Not always agreeing is typical, but now the conversations or topics may not be so light and fluffy. Disagreements will happen regarding houses, cars, babies, puppies, holidays and everything in between. Learn to talk and listen to one another. You can reach agreements by caring, being understanding and empathetic. I try to not forget why I am married in the first place!
3. You will learn to put the other person first: No matter how selfish you once were, you will change. Cooking (despite not enjoying it), going to see his favorite band, going to his favorite hang out, watching his TV shows (and much more) are all things that will change for the better. This change will be equal for both of you, you will notice he will put you first too!
4. Happiness is what you make of it: Not everyday will be great, stress will always be present. Your view points will change, you will change jobs, you will have new friends, you will go back to school and your childhood family will have disagreements. Learning to see the bright side of things can help you foster a positive relationship, grow and learn (no matter the stress.)
The first year of marriage is not easy, it is not for everyone but it is for me! Everyday I choose to be happy and committed in my marriage. I make this commitment despite the pressures, disagreements, selfishness, ups and downs of my everyday life.