The things we “forget” to talk about as new moms:
Moms have a lot on their plate and soon-to-be moms are no exception. There are a lot of things that we just don’t talk about when it comes to motherhood, pregnancy, and childbirth. But, why? Why is it so difficult for us to have conversations about these things? Where are these unwritten rules that we should let a mother figure this all out on her own?
It is important to expend all of our efforts in helping every mother be the best version of themselves. After all, this new journey is no walk in the park. Being a mom is hard work and the more help you get, the better off you, your mental health, and your baby will be.
Here are important concepts moms wish they would have known before they became pregnant:
Postpartum Depression and Anxiety are real and are not Baby Blues.
Research is now proving that if you have untreated depression or anxiety or a predisposition to depression or anxiety to seek therapy as a precaution. The chances of depression or anxiety returning during your prenatal or postpartum stages are high. Make sure you are in touch with your thoughts and recognize that feelings of sadness, guilt, loneliness and fatigue are related to depression. As well as thoughts related to past negative events and loss of pleasure in things you would typically enjoy. Also, be attentive to negative what if scenario thoughts related to parenting and motherhood. Feelings of extreme fear, worry or panic are also a red flag.
Your body will never be the same.
One new mom stated, “you look at yourself in the mirror one day and you are a normal woman, the next day you are growing a human being inside you. Then, you’re a mother with stretch marks and saggy skin. I know it’s a beautiful and incredible thing, but I wish looking myself in the mirror to tell myself ‘It’s okay. It will all be okay.’ was something someone could have prepared me for. No matter how strong you are, it is something that is a true battle.”
Some women struggle with self-image, others struggle with loneliness, being left alone for significant amounts of time with the baby when their significant other goes back to work. It is important to know that these feelings are normal. It is important to know you are not alone and other people go through these feelings.
It is easy to lose touch with your significant other.
All of a sudden the dynamic changes. No more late-nights and parties, all of a sudden your whole world revolves around a baby. Your significant other now sees you in a way they never have before, having to help you go to the bathroom and having leaky breasts. These are not things either of you have experienced so it’s normal to want to push them away or reevaluate the dynamic you once had. It’s important to give yourselves time as a couple to reconnect and find time to remember why you fell in love in the first place.
Taking time for yourselves does not make you a bad parent, it allows you to keep a healthy relationship and loving environment for your new addition.
Even though you may have heard about these things before you experience them, you still may not be prepared when the time comes. Talking about it can help you better prepare for the changes you are about to encounter. Mama, you are never alone.