Control Your Negative Thoughts and Reduce Unwanted Anxiety

As we move throughout our day we respond to different things that happen whether they are good or bad. You may get some bad news, or someone may cut you off in traffic and we have the ability to respond with either positive or negative thinking. We can choose to look at situations positively but this can be difficult when situations are problematic or overwhelming. Negative thinking leads to more negative thoughts, which in turn leads to feeling poorly. Telling yourself to “just think of the positives” can seem silly, as we certainly don’t want to think negatively.

So, what can we do to control our negative thoughts and reduce unwanted anxiety?

1. Challenge yourself to focus on what is good:

What are you grateful for in this moment? What about this current problem can be shifted to positive viewpoint? For example, not having a lot of money can cause you to think about the things you do not have but we can challenge ourselves to think of the things we do have.

2. Think of things that make you happy:

Stop and make a mental (or tangible) list of things that make you happy. Carry this around with you, or think of it often as the more often you recognize negative thinking the more awareness you will have.

3. Talk to a loved one or friend:

Sometimes our loved ones know what can make us feel positive even if we don’t feel like we do. Call or text someone you love and tell them to ell you their favorite memory with you, or plan to meet up with them.

4. Take a step back:

When negative thoughts enter your mind you can stop and take a step back. Ask yourself, is there any good in this situation? Even pausing for a moment can give your mind and body more time to respond.

5. Don’t let it affect your self-esteem:

It is easy to see negatives, but far more challenging to see positives. Getting stuck in a line of negative thinking is normal and happens to many of us frequently; be kind to yourself and remember that you have the ability to think positively.

Remember you do control your thoughts. It is a hard concept to understand if you are stuck in your own head. Take a step back and recognize that being self aware can help you overcome any thoughts that are setting you back.

Therapists Share 5 Reasons to Embrace Your Fear

Fear is often portrayed in a negative light - as something we need to “defeat.” While it is important to not let fear prevent you from living your life, it is still okay to feel afraid. Fear helps us. It is an important emotion to have. Many of us feel afraid when we are in a situation where we do not yet trust or feel safe. Listening to how we feel in situations can help us learn to trust , connect with others and feel grounded.

Here are 5 ways that fear can be embraced, just remember:

1. Fear is a normal emotion, therefore being afraid is nothing to be embarrassed about.

Experiencing anxiety or fear does not make you weak. It makes you human.

2. Avoiding or denying your fear only allows it to grow.

It is better to acknowledge, embrace, and process your fear than attempt to suppress it.

3. Experiencing fear can be a sign you are stepping out of your comfort zone.

Trying new things can be scary but facing your fears will lead to personal growth.

4. Fear provides a sense of prospective.

In order to fully appreciate the feeling of calmness, you must also know what it is like to feel afraid.

5. You do not always have to “overcome” your fear, as it can protect you.

Sometimes feeling afraid is a warning sign that you should avoid something that could be emotionally triggering or physically dangerous.

Fear is a healthy emotion. Without fear most of us would be in threatening situations or living our life on the edge everyday. A helpful amount of fear is appropriate and well needed to feel balanced.

Our Therapists Share Thoughts On Overcoming Anxiety

Anxiety and depression oftentimes coexistent. When someone is experiencing one, it is common for them to also be experiencing the other. Last week, we talked about how to support your family member, loved one, or friend who is experiencing depression, this week we will reflect on the importance on how to continue to provide support when a loved one is feeling anxious as well! 

Let’s start with the basics, what is anxiety? 

Anxiety is the consistent and persistent feeling of worry and fear for everyday events and tasks. Anxiety is normal, and we all experience it to some extent under certain circumstances, like public speaking or looking over the edge of a tall building. Anxiety becomes problematic when it interferes with our ability to engage in daily living. This means it becomes difficult for someone to go grocery shopping or interact with a friend or coworker. 

What can you do to provide support for someone dealing with this? 

Understand that the fear is real.

It may be hard to understand or conceptualize, right? Why is it such a big deal to go to the store or hang out with a friend? It becomes easy to minimize their fear and worry, simply because you are rationalizing it. Ultimately, this fear is entirely real and the way you are seeing the situation is simply not the same as the person who is anxious. Empathizing with their fears and helping them find accommodations to this worry that can be fitting for their lives is a great way to show your support to them. 

Try your best to listen and be a safe space for them to express their fears.

Rather than telling them to calm down when you see someone getting upset about their own anxiety, try to remember it’s not personal. Getting upset with them and brushing off their fears can disrupt the trust you have built together. Listening to their worries may, not only be a way for you to connect with them, it could be a way for you to fully understand what they are going through internally, making it easier to talk them down when they are overwhelmed. 

Helping them practice mindfulness and deep breathing. 

Deep breathing is so important for someone with anxiety. When the anxious feelings become too difficult to handle, it could potentially lead to an anxiety attack which consists of racing heartbeat, intense fear, hyperventilation, and other unpleasant symptoms. Taking a moment to slow down, take some deep breaths and help your person ground themselves can take that intense panic away.  Giving them a hug can also help them feel safe and secure in their moment of weakness. 

Overall, trying to remember that everyone has different perspectives is the main goal. Every single brain works a little bit different than yours and having the ability to be empathetic, even when you cannot understand it, is a skill that takes time to develop.  Let your loved one know that you are working too and hopefully, together, you  can support each other on the long road to decreasing stigmatization and feeling better overall.

Therapists Agree, You Can Make Change Happen

Routines are hard to maintain. They are healthy because they keep us organized and help us maintain some sense of normalcy. But what happens when there is a glitch in our routine? What happens when we have to make a change?

Now, change can be a very broad term. We can change many things like the color of our hair, the clothes we wear, the way we act or even the way we think.

Each form of change comes with one common factor: the unknown.

Every time we make a change we take a risk, no matter how small or how noticeable this change may be. The changes that are the hardest to make though are those that come from within, rather than those that appear on the outside. Working to make an inner change is hard and it is completely normal to not know where to start or how to go about it.

Let’s talk about some examples of what making an inner change looks like.

It is healthy for us to notice our negative qualities and want to adjust them.

A bad trait we sometimes have is addressing ourselves with a negative tone. By this I mean you wake up in the morning, get ready for work, walk past a mirror and think “yikes” to yourself as you walk out the door because you’ve had better hair days before and today was just not cutting it.

We can start by taking baby steps toward the changes we wish to make that will create an overall happier version of ourselves.

Step 1: Identify the problem. What is causing you to be upset? When you go through your daily routine, take note of the things that make your day better and of the things that make you feel uncomfortable. By identifying the underlying causes of our feelings and insecurities, it becomes easier to change these behaviors slowly over time.

Step 2: Create a plan to make things better. If you notice every day you do happen to be that person that tells yourself you don’t look that great when you walk out the door in the morning, make it a priority to find something about you that you DO like. Look at yourself and find one thing to compliment. This will help build self-esteem and help us realize that no one is perfect so we must love our imperfections.

Step 3: Surround yourself with support. If you feel uncomfortable around a group of people, you feel like they are not good for your mental health, find a way to fix it. This does not always mean kicking people out of your life or cutting them off but, instead, try to find other grounds to talk about, other common factors. Learn to listen, rather than talk for a more positive outcome.

Step 4: Maintain a routine. Once we have identified the things we wish to change and come up with a plan to enact this change within our daily lives, we must find a way to keep the positivity prevalent.

As I’ve said before, being human is hard. It is not always easy to know right from wrong. It is not always clear what steps we should take to make ourselves feel happier. Change is ultimately inevitable. So, if we can learn how to maintain a sense of normalcy while going through a change that we decide on, it will make it easier to cope with the changes in our lives that are out of our control.