Our Relationship Therapists Share How to Cope with Friendship Breakups

Friendship breakups can feel as heartbreaking and disappointing as romantic splits. Sometimes the paths of our lives start to move in different directions and our friendships evolve. The friendships we create can be for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. We connect with others based on common interests, opinions, and life circumstances.

The endings of these relationships can leave us feeling lost and confused. Friendships can end because of a specific event or issue, or sometimes they can slowly diminish without us even realizing it.

Here are some tips our therapists have put together to aid you in navigating a friendship breakup.

Why Do friendships end?

-Breaking of trust

-Physical or emotional distance

-Difference in views

-Misunderstandings or disagreements

- Unresolved power differential

- Abuse

How to Cope with friendship breakups:

1) Process the relationship dynamic

Give yourself the space and time to honor the relationship and grieve the loss of it going forward. Take the time to evaluate the lessons learned within the friendship and what good came out of the relationship.

These are some questions to sit on and ask yourself when processing the shifting of your friendship. Did the friendship teach you something? Did you subconsciously back out of the relationship, or put in more than the other party? What memories can you look back on and still be fond of? Where can you take accountability in challenges within the relationship? How can you grow and learn from this relationship dynamic so It does not develop in other friendships?

It may feel supportive to process the relationship dynamic with a trusted person like another friend, family member, or professional mental health counselor to help recognize any blind spots that you might be missing in your reflection.

2) Lean into self-care:

Like any breakup or loss in your life, friendship break ups can create feelings of grief, sadness, and even anger. Channel these feelings and energy into yourself care practices. Get out for a walk in nature, listen to your favorite music, treat yourself to your favorite meal. Being extra gentle with yourself when processing the ending of the friendship. It is okay to feel sad, angry, or maybe even resentful for a period of time. This is normal and natural.

When you feel ready, release the emotions that arise in healthy ways that feel safe and nourishing to you. Emotions are motivators and encouragers of movement-allow yourself to move and release the feelings and thoughts that come up that do not serve you.

3) Create space for new friendships:

Have you ever heard the saying, “when one door closes, another opens”? When you create the space for other friends or new friends, these connections have room to grow and blossom.

Dedicate your time and energy into relationships and friendships that feel nourishing during this time. When we put our thought and energy into relationships that have ended, are toxic, or are struggling, we often forget about the relationships that are supportive and healthy for us- and perhaps are even missing opportunities for potential friendships that could start to grow from even the smallest of interactions. If it feels resonate to you, try a new fitness class, neighborhood meet up, or social group- you never know what connections could be waiting for you unless you put forth effort and put yourself out there!

Just like relationships with family, colleagues, and even romantic relationships, break-ups do not have to last forever. Sometimes a “break” is necessary to move and shift within the relationship and taking time and space from a friendship can help heal some of the broken parts within the dynamic. Other times, a friendship breakup is the healthiest decision for all. All of these experiences help us grow as individuals and teaches us lessons on not only how to be a friend to others, but a friend to ourselves.

Are you struggling with a friendship breakup? We have several relationship therapists at Serene Mind who can help you process these transitions and explore these relationship dynamics. If you feel you need support, please feel free to reach out to us at hello@serenemindpysch.com, or call us at 813.321.8280. We are here to help you while you continue on your path!

Our Therapists Share 3 Ways Social Media Impacts Mental Health

In our modern day and age, social media has dominated communication in many different areas. Connecting with friends and family through messages, sharing pictures of your life, shopping, dating, and even networking to further your career can be done all from a tiny screen that you can tote in your pocket. There are thousands of apps that can fit virtually any need, and most have a social component within the app. Although there can be many positives with the rise of social media, there are also some attributes to these apps that can negatively impact mental and emotional health.

1. Instant Gratification

Getting an immediate reward, or instant gratification is a common product of regular social media use. Being able to speak to someone immediately, purchase goods, or even scrolling constantly being introduced to different stimuli can create a sense of power and control.

A chemical in the body called dopamine is released when we partake in instant gratification behaviors, and when participated in often, can change an individual’s behavior completely. Needing to be constantly stimulated (example: scrolling, checking texts or emails, etc.) releases dopamine and when this is done frequently, the body becomes overstimulated. This can create feelings of anxiety and overwhelm when instant gratification is unavailable to an individual who is used to it. This is also a way to disconnect and disassociate from needing to problem solve or wait for stimuli to present itself.

The more we become accustomed to the instant gratification, the more we seek this pleasurable activity. This can lead us down a spiral and ultimately lead to great disappointment.

2. The Comparison Game

Seeing others on social media posting their achievements, purchases, and even daily life can create a “comparison game” within. This game can turn into a rabbit hole of feelings and thoughts such as, “Why can’t I have those things?”, “They are so much more attractive than me”, “They must be rich to afford that”. These comparisons are hurtful, lead to expectations that are unattainable and unrealistic.

Most people post the best of their worlds on their social media platforms. When seeing the best parts of someone’s life through pictures or word on a screen, it is easy to forget that they are humans too- people that have challenges, difficulties, and vulnerabilities.

The Comparison Game can also lead to FOMO, or “Fear of Missing Out”, where individuals feel like they don’t fit in or belong with their peers. Constant exposure to these platforms can create feelings of shame, guilt, not feeling worthy, and even missing out on things they think they may deserve or wish they could have. It is important to keep in check the realities of each post and person posting.

3. Cyberbullying

Within the last 10 years the popularity of social media platforms has increased, and so has cyberbullying. Cyberbullying can have tremendous effects on a person’s self-image, self-esteem, and social skills.

Many individuals find it easier to argue, make fun of, and even harass others through a digital format rather than in real life, face-to- face interactions. When prolonged and unreported, cyberbullying can take an extreme toll on a person’s mental and emotional health, and even start to affect their physical health. It is hard to escape bullies on social media, they are constantly there and you may feel as if it is out of control.

The world of social media is a new territory for many of us. We have no way of knowing what further studies or future generations will be impacted by the decisions we make on social media today. It is a scary and unfamiliar world for ourselves, our kids and teens. Always remember that you have the power to control the amount you use, the platforms you access and how accessible you are in the realm of social media.

Are you feeling that you are experiencing negative thoughts or feelings due to social media use? We are here to help. Email us at hello@serenemindpsych.com or give us a call at 813.321.8280 to set up an intake appointment to see if one of our therapists can aid you in your healing journey.

Therapists Share Your First Semester at College Survival Guide

As a high school senior you were on top of the food chain. You probably knew your school like the back of your hand and best of all you were comfortable. August is finally here and the fall college semester will begin soon. Some of you are heading to schools where you will be one of thousands of students, others are heading to small schools in which you will be one of hundreds. Either way it is a BIG change and college anxiety is real. 

Here are some ways to ease your mind and look forward to your first day of college: 

1. Purchase the essentials: Aside the typical dorm items, remember to purchase school supplies and your books. Show up to class prepared and ready to take notes (even if it is the first day of class). In college professors will expect you to always be prepared to learn, there is no movie day or freebie. 

2. Go explore the campus: Learn where your dorm is, the nearest dining halls and where your classes are. Learn to take the bus and time how long you take to reach your destination. This will help you plan how much time you have between classes. 

3. Get to know your professors: No, you do not have to take them to lunch, but introduce yourself during a class break and research their ratings on www.ratemyprofessor.com or a similar website  (this will make you aware of their teaching style and personality).  

4. Get to know your roommates: Spend time together, talk, go out to eat and learn what you have in common. Your roommates can be a great part of your college experience (they still are a great part of my life). You will be living with them so make the best of it and work on building a friendship. 

5. Have a schedule: Write down and plan out your day (from start to finish). This will help ease your stress and increase your timeliness. You can add lunch, time with friends, work out time, study hours and quizzes to all fit your schedule. 

6. Have fun: Take the time to join clubs and make friends. College is not just about your studies. It is a great opportunity to make social connections (future work connections are always great) and explore the things that really interest you. This will help you find your identity, which can help you choose a career that aligns with who you are. 

Prepare yourself for a year of learning, fun and exciting new ventures! College is what you make of it. Remember to take one day at a time. Patience is key to learning your way around, adapting to a new environment and surviving your first semester.