Raising a Resilient Child: Insights and Tips for Parents

As parents, we all want our children to grow up strong, capable, and ready to face life’s challenges. But resilience—the ability to bounce back from setbacks, adapt to change, and keep going in the face of adversity—isn’t something they’re born with. It’s something we can nurture in them, day by day.

Dr. Becky Kennedy, a renowned child psychologist known for her compassionate and empowering approach, often talks about how we can help our children build resilience. Here are some key takeaways that I’d like to share with you, drawn from Dr. Becky’s insights and my own experience as a therapist.

1. Model Emotional Regulation

Children learn how to handle stress and setbacks by watching us. If we can stay calm and grounded during tough moments, we show them that it’s okay to experience big emotions and that they can manage them too.

Tip: When you’re feeling overwhelmed, narrate your feelings and actions to your child. For example, “I’m feeling frustrated right now, so I’m going to take a deep breath to calm down.” This shows them that emotions are normal and manageable.

2. Validate Their Feelings

Resilience isn’t about never feeling upset; it’s about knowing that all feelings are okay and can be worked through. Dr. Becky emphasizes the importance of validating your child’s emotions without trying to fix or dismiss them.

Tip: When your child is upset, try saying, “I see you’re feeling really sad about this. It’s okay to feel that way. I’m here with you.” This helps them understand that emotions are a part of life and they are not alone in feeling them.

3. Encourage Problem-Solving

Instead of jumping in to solve problems for your child, guide them in thinking through solutions. This builds their confidence and shows them that they can handle difficult situations.

Tip: Ask open-ended questions like, “What do you think we could do to make this better?” or “How do you want to approach this problem?” This encourages them to take an active role in overcoming challenges.

4. Foster a Growth Mindset

Dr. Becky often talks about the power of a growth mindset—the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed with effort. Encouraging this mindset helps children see challenges as opportunities to grow rather than as insurmountable obstacles.

Tip: Praise your child’s effort rather than their outcome. Instead of saying, “You’re so smart,” try, “I’m proud of how hard you worked on that.” This reinforces the idea that effort leads to improvement.

5. Provide Safe Boundaries

While it’s important to encourage independence, children also need to feel safe and supported. Clear boundaries provide a sense of security, which is crucial for resilience.

Tip: Set and enforce consistent limits with empathy. For example, “I know you want to stay up late, but bedtime is at 8:00 PM so you can be rested for tomorrow. I’ll help you find a cozy bedtime routine.”

6. Teach Self-Compassion

Resilient children are kind to themselves when they fail. Dr. Becky suggests teaching self-compassion by modeling it yourself.

Tip: When you make a mistake, share how you forgive yourself. “I forgot to pick up the groceries today. I’m disappointed, but I know it’s okay to make mistakes. I’ll try again tomorrow.” This teaches your child that they too can be gentle with themselves.

Conclusion

Raising a resilient child isn’t about shielding them from life’s difficulties, but about equipping them with the tools to navigate them. By modeling emotional regulation, validating feelings, encouraging problem-solving, fostering a growth mindset, providing safe boundaries, and teaching self-compassion, we can help our children develop the resilience they need to thrive.

Remember, resilience is a journey—one that we walk together with our children, step by step. And as Dr. Becky often reminds us, being a “good enough” parent is more than enough. We don’t have to be perfect; we just have to show up, with love and understanding.

Mastering Social Skills: A Key to Lowering Anxiety in Teens and Young Adults

Navigating the complex world of social interactions can be a daunting task, especially for teens and young adults. Social skills, often overlooked in formal education, play a crucial role in our daily lives, influencing our ability to communicate effectively, build relationships, and maintain emotional well-being. For young people, mastering these skills can significantly reduce anxiety and improve overall mental health. In this blog, we’ll explore the importance of social skills and how they can help lower anxiety.

Understanding Social Skills

Social skills are the abilities we use to interact and communicate with others. They include verbal and non-verbal communication, listening, empathy, cooperation, and conflict resolution. These skills are essential for forming meaningful relationships, succeeding in academic and professional settings, and navigating the myriad social situations we encounter daily.

The Link Between Social Skills and Anxiety

Anxiety, particularly social anxiety, often stems from a fear of judgment or rejection in social situations. For teens and young adults, this fear can be especially pronounced as they navigate new environments and form their identities. Developing strong social skills can help mitigate these fears by:

1. Building Confidence: Proficiency in social skills can boost self-confidence, making individuals feel more comfortable and competent in social interactions.

2. Reducing Uncertainty: Knowing how to initiate and sustain conversations, interpret social cues, and respond appropriately reduces the uncertainty that often triggers anxiety.

3. Fostering Connection: Positive social interactions lead to the formation of supportive relationships, which can provide emotional support and reduce feelings of isolation.

Key Social Skills to Develop

1. Active Listening: Paying full attention to the speaker, understanding their message, and responding thoughtfully.

2. Empathy: Understanding and sharing the feelings of others, which helps build stronger connections.

3. Verbal Communication: Clearly expressing thoughts, feelings, and needs through words.

4. Non-Verbal Communication: Using body language, facial expressions, and eye contact to convey messages.

5. Conflict Resolution: Managing and resolving disputes in a constructive manner.

6. Assertiveness: Expressing oneself confidently without being aggressive.

Practical Tips to Enhance Social Skills

1. Practice Makes Perfect: Regularly engaging in social situations, even small ones like greeting a neighbor or chatting with a cashier, helps build confidence and competence.

2. Role-Playing: Practicing different social scenarios with a trusted friend or family member can prepare you for real-life interactions.

3. Mindfulness and Self-Reflection: Being aware of your own feelings and reactions in social situations and reflecting on them can help improve your social skills.

4. Seek Feedback: Asking for constructive feedback from friends, family, or mentors can provide valuable insights into your social interactions.

5. Join Social Groups or Clubs: Participating in activities that interest you can provide natural opportunities to practice social skills in a supportive environment.

Mastering social skills is a powerful tool for reducing anxiety in teens and young adults. By building confidence, reducing uncertainty, and fostering meaningful connections, these skills can lead to a more fulfilling and less anxious life. Remember, social skills can be learned and improved with practice and patience. So, take the first step, start small, and gradually build your social toolkit. Your mental health and well-being will thank you.

Empowering Young Adults: Boosting Self-Esteem and Embracing Independence

In the journey of life, young adulthood is a pivotal phase where individuals navigate through various challenges and transitions. It's a time marked by self-discovery, forging new paths, and laying the foundation for the future. Amidst this whirlwind of change, two crucial elements stand out: self-esteem and independence. Cultivating these traits can significantly enhance the quality of life for young adults, equipping them with the confidence and resilience needed to thrive.

Let's delve into how enhancing self-esteem and embracing independence can benefit young adults.

1. Self-Confidence Opens Doors

Self-esteem forms the cornerstone of self-confidence. When young adults believe in their abilities and worth, they're more likely to pursue their goals with vigor and determination. Whether it's applying for a dream job, speaking up in a meeting, or embarking on a new relationship, a healthy level of self-esteem empowers individuals to step out of their comfort zones and embrace opportunities.

Moreover, high self-esteem serves as a buffer against the inevitable setbacks and rejections that life throws their way. Rather than being deterred by failure, individuals with robust self-esteem view it as a learning experience, resiliently bouncing back and adapting their strategies for future success.

2. Independence Fosters Growth

Independence is the hallmark of adulthood, signifying the ability to make decisions and take responsibility for one's actions. As young adults gradually emancipate from the guidance of parents and mentors, they embark on a journey of self-reliance and autonomy. This process of individuation not only fosters personal growth but also cultivates a sense of empowerment and agency.

Embracing independence allows young adults to explore their interests, pursue their passions, and chart their own course in life. Whether it's living away from home, managing finances, or making important life choices, each step towards independence builds resilience and fortitude, laying the groundwork for a fulfilling and purposeful existence.

3. Strengthening Mental Health

The relationship between self-esteem, independence, and mental health is profound. Studies have shown that individuals with low self-esteem are more susceptible to anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. Conversely, fostering a positive self-image and a sense of autonomy can serve as protective factors against such challenges.

By nurturing self-esteem and independence, young adults develop coping mechanisms to navigate stressors and challenges more effectively. They become adept at setting boundaries, seeking support when needed, and prioritizing self-care. Ultimately, a strong foundation of self-esteem and independence bolsters mental well-being, enabling young adults to lead more balanced and fulfilling lives.

4. Building Resilience for the Future

In a rapidly changing world, resilience is a invaluable asset. By enhancing self-esteem and embracing independence, young adults cultivate the resilience needed to weather life's storms and adapt to unforeseen circumstances. They develop a sense of self-efficacy, knowing that they have the strength and resourcefulness to overcome obstacles and persevere in the face of adversity.

Moreover, a resilient mindset fosters a sense of optimism and possibility, fueling creativity, innovation, and growth. Rather than being daunted by challenges, resilient individuals view them as opportunities for learning and personal development. Thus, by investing in self-esteem and independence, young adults equip themselves with the tools to thrive in an ever-changing world.

In conclusion, the journey to adulthood is a transformative period characterized by self-discovery, growth, and empowerment. By prioritizing the cultivation of self-esteem and embracing independence, young adults can unlock their full potential and embark on a path of fulfillment and purpose. As they navigate the twists and turns of life, they'll find that their newfound confidence and autonomy serve as guiding beacons, illuminating the way forward towards a brighter, more resilient future.

Empowering Teens: Boosting Self-Esteem for a Brighter Tomorrow

In today’s fast-paced world, teenagers face an array of challenges that can significantly impact their self-esteem. From academic pressures to social media comparison and self-doubt, the teenage years can be emotionally turbulent. As parents, teachers, and caregivers, it is crucial to provide support and encouragement to boost their self-esteem.

In this blog post, we’ll explore effective ways to empower your teen, nurturing their self-worth and confidence, thus paving the way for a positive therapy experience.

1. Foster Open Communication:

Encourage your teen to express their thoughts and emotions freely. Be an active listener, showing genuine interest in their concerns. Validate their feelings, ensuring they know that their emotions are acknowledged and respected. By fostering open communication, you create a safe space for them to explore their inner world.

2. Encourage Self-Discovery:

Teens often struggle with identity and self-discovery. Encourage their interests and hobbies, allowing them to explore various activities. Whether it's art, sports, music, or writing, supporting their passions can provide a sense of purpose and accomplishment, boosting their confidence.

3. Set Realistic Goals:

Help your teen set achievable goals, both academically and personally. Break down larger goals into smaller, manageable tasks. Celebrate their achievements, no matter how small, reinforcing the idea that effort leads to success. This sense of accomplishment can significantly enhance their self-esteem.

4. Promote Positive Self-Talk:

Teach your teen the power of positive affirmations. Encourage them to challenge negative self-talk and replace it with self-affirming and empowering statements. Remind them of their strengths and capabilities, emphasizing that mistakes are opportunities to learn and grow.

5. Cultivate Healthy Relationships:

Support your teen in forming positive friendships. Healthy relationships provide emotional support, reduce feelings of isolation, and boost self-esteem. Encourage them to surround themselves with people who uplift and respect them. Discuss the importance of boundaries and assertiveness in relationships.

6. Teach Coping Skills:

Life is filled with challenges, and learning how to cope with stress and setbacks is essential. Introduce your teen to mindfulness techniques, deep breathing exercises, or journaling. These coping skills can help them manage anxiety and build resilience, enhancing their self-confidence.

7. Promote Self-Care:

Encourage your teen to prioritize self-care activities. Adequate sleep, regular exercise, and a balanced diet significantly impact mental and physical well-being. When they take care of their bodies, they are more likely to feel good about themselves, boosting their self-esteem.

8. Be a Positive Role Model:

Demonstrate healthy self-esteem through your own actions and words. Show your teen that it's okay to make mistakes and that self-worth is not based on perfection. Your example can profoundly influence how they perceive themselves and their value.

9. Seek Professional Help When Needed:

If your teen is struggling significantly with self-esteem issues, consider seeking professional help. A therapist can provide expert guidance and support tailored to their specific needs, helping them navigate their emotions and build a positive self-image.

In conclusion, boosting your teen's self-esteem requires patience, understanding, and consistent support. By fostering open communication, encouraging self-discovery, setting realistic goals, promoting positive self-talk, cultivating healthy relationships, teaching coping skills, promoting self-care, being a positive role model, and seeking professional help when needed, you can empower your teen to develop a strong sense of self-worth. Remember, the journey to improved self-esteem is ongoing, and your unwavering support can make a significant difference in their lives, setting the stage for a brighter and more confident future.

Embracing Connection: How Group Therapy Can Help You Overcome Social Anxiety

Social anxiety is a common challenge that can significantly impact your quality of life. The fear of judgment, criticism, or embarrassment in social situations can lead to isolation and missed opportunities. While individual therapy can be beneficial, group therapy offers a unique and effective approach to tackling social anxiety. Let's delve into how group therapy can be a powerful tool for overcoming social anxiety.

Understanding Social Anxiety: Social anxiety, also known as social phobia, involves an intense fear of social situations. It often leads to avoiding interactions or enduring them with extreme discomfort. These feelings can prevent you from fully engaging in relationships, work, and social activities.

The Power of Group Therapy: Group therapy involves a therapist-led session with a small group of individuals facing similar challenges. While it might sound intimidating for someone with social anxiety, it offers numerous benefits that can foster personal growth and healing.

1. Safe and Supportive Environment:

Group therapy provides a safe space to share your experiences, fears, and thoughts with others who understand what you're going through. Knowing you're not alone in your struggles can reduce feelings of isolation.

2. Real-Life Exposure:

Group therapy offers a controlled environment to practice social interactions. You can gradually expose yourself to social situations with the support of both the therapist and group members.

3. Skill Building:

Therapists in group sessions often introduce coping strategies, communication techniques, and relaxation exercises. These tools empower you to manage anxiety in real-life scenarios.

4. Observational Learning:

Watching others face their fears and make progress can be inspiring and provide you with a sense of hope. Witnessing their growth can encourage you to challenge yourself as well.

5. Feedback and Perspective:

Group members can offer feedback, different perspectives, and insights that you might not have considered. This can expand your understanding of your anxiety and help you develop effective strategies to manage it.

6. Normalization of Experiences:

Hearing others share their struggles can help normalize your own feelings. This can reduce the shame often associated with social anxiety and make it easier to address your challenges.

7. Building Social Skills:

Regular interactions within the group can improve your social skills over time. As you practice active listening, sharing, and providing feedback, you'll gradually become more comfortable in social settings.

8. Gradual Progress:

Group therapy allows you to progress at your own pace. You can start with minimal participation and gradually increase your involvement as you become more comfortable.

9. Long-Term Support:

The connections you build in group therapy can extend beyond the sessions. These new relationships can provide ongoing support and encouragement as you work to overcome social anxiety.

Group therapy offers a unique and powerful approach to overcoming social anxiety. The combination of a supportive environment, real-life exposure, skill-building, and shared experiences can lead to remarkable personal growth. Remember that seeking help is a sign of strength, and taking steps to address social anxiety can lead to a more fulfilling and connected life. If you're considering group therapy, consult a mental health professional to determine if it's the right approach for you. Embrace the opportunity to connect, grow, and overcome the challenges that social anxiety presents. 🌟🌈 #SocialAnxiety #GroupTherapy #MentalHealthMatters

4 Ways Social Skills Can Help Me Succeed

When we think of our childhood, for many of us moments in social settings stand out. These social situations are the very essence of our memories. Social skills can play a crucial role in your success across various aspects of life. The importance of social skills sometimes is underestimated, but the reality is without social skills success is weary.

Here's how social skills can help you succeed:

1. Improved Communication:

   Effective communication is a cornerstone of success in both personal and professional settings. Social skills training helps you develop active listening, assertiveness, and empathy, enabling you to express yourself more clearly and understand others better. When you can communicate confidently and empathetically, you build stronger connections and foster positive relationships with others.

2. Enhanced Networking:

   Networking plays a vital role in career growth and personal development. By honing your social skills, you can become more comfortable in social settings, making it easier to initiate and maintain conversations with new people. This can lead to valuable connections, mentorship opportunities, and potential collaborations that can boost your success in your chosen field.

3. Conflict Resolution:

   Conflict is inevitable, but how you handle it can make a significant difference in your success. Social skills training equips you with the ability to manage conflicts constructively. You learn how to stay calm in tense situations, express your concerns without hostility, and find solutions that are mutually beneficial. This skill is invaluable in personal relationships and workplace dynamics.

4. Increased Emotional Intelligence:

   Emotional intelligence involves understanding and managing your own emotions as well as recognizing and empathizing with the emotions of others. Social skills training helps you develop emotional intelligence, which is crucial for making sound decisions, building trust, and motivating and inspiring others. It also allows you to handle stress more effectively and maintain a positive outlook in challenging situations.

In summary, social skills training empowers you to communicate effectively, build strong networks, handle conflicts with grace, and understand and manage emotions. All these abilities contribute to your overall success, both in your personal life and in your professional endeavors.

5 Ways to Positively Communicate

How can positive communication help you? When we can communicate our thoughts and feelings in an effective and positive manner, it can help boost our confidence and make us happier. Positive communication improves all aspects of our life and can open so many doors in our lives from self-esteem to relationships, to jobs and many other areas of our lives. There are many factors that go into effective communication and some you can implement with just little effort and the right tool.

Here are some ways you can improve your positive communication skills:

Empathy:

The first step in positive communication is empathy. Empathy is the ability to understand and share what others feel. Its important to acknowledge where people come from and why they feel or do certain things that are desirable and undesirable. When communicating with someone to encourage them to make a change saying something like “I understand that that this process is stressful” or “I understand that anxiety is common, and you aren’t alone in this”. Encouraging and understanding language can make your positive communication all the more effective and impact outcomes.

Body language:

Open body language is key in positively communicating. If your arms are crossed or your body is turned away from someone it can already feel like you’re on the defensive or aren’t receptive to what they have to say. Positive body language looks like upright and open posture, keeping your body and head faced towards them, nodding your head in understanding, keeping your palms open, and smiling. Implementing positive body language can make the difference in your communication being effective.

Active Listening:

Are you listening to the words coming out of their mouth so you can respond; or are you taking in what they are saying and taking a second to form your thought and how you want to say it? Knowing the difference and actively trying to do the second can be so incredibly helpful in communicating and taking in information. Many times, we just want to react and say what we’re thinking as quickly as possible, but we might miss vital information or nonverbal communication. Maintaining eye contact, slowing down, taking in information, and thinking before we respond can help improve our positive communication skills.

Staying Away from Negative Terms:

Any words that shut down a conversation or would make someone likely feel defensive or bad about themselves or the situation should be avoided as much as possible. Using would like won’t, don’t, can’t, never, all have a negative connotation that comes with them. Along with this trying to you “I” language can help the other person more receptive to what you’re saying. For example, saying “You don’t do xyz for me” say “I really like when you do xyz and it makes me feel appreciated.” Just making the conscious choice to positively change your wording can make the whole difference in how effective your communication is.

Offer Help:

It can be a daunting task to change what you’ve always done and are comfortable with. When asking someone to change what they are doing you might meet some resistance. Their response might be disappointing or frustrating but it’s something you should be prepared for. Offering help or alternatives can be beneficial in making the task of change more palatable and attainable. This is where meeting others with empathy is helpful, understanding where they come from and why they do things we don’t like can aid in finding ways help them change their actions for the better. If your partner or kids aren’t behaving in a desirable way think about why they might be acting like that. Is something going on at work, school, or home? Do they need help with their routine to become more efficient? Are they struggling with their mental health and are lashing out in other way? Try opening up an ongoing discussion with them in a positive, empathetic, and understanding manner and together you can figure out what needs to change in order to make everyone’s life a little better. This sentiment can be applied to pretty much anything with anyone regardless of if it’s in your personal or work life; sometimes we just need a little help and don’t know how to ask for it.

Our Therapists Share 6 Social Skills for a Healthier You

Humans are social beings. We seek connection, unity and inclusiveness. As we grow older it becomes more difficult to connect with others. We become more selective, stricter with social guidelines of whom we could befriend. Socializing can feel like hard work for many of us. What if there was a way that could help us socialize more openly, with confidence and positivity?

Here are 6 ways to help you regain connections and better socialize with others:

1. Be open minded:

   Realize that having an open mind is a key to making new lasting relationships. Going into a new place, event or social setting as if you are ready to make friends and listen to others. This mindset will help you attract the people you want to create new relationships with.

2. Love yourself:

   By loving and knowing who you are you can be more confident. Go into an event knowing what you bring to your relationships and portray this. This confidence can help others be more attracted to your energy, which will also make you appear to be more socially available.

3. Practice what you want to say:

   By rehearsing and reciting how to introduce yourself, you can make yourself less nervous about the event. Having a couple of funny lines or stories is a great way to meet people. We tend to gravitate to stories about dogs, pets, babies and common interests. Come up with a way to gain potential connections by having a couple of lines that you want to say.

4. Find people with common interests

   People like you, want to be friends with you. The key here is you have find them. Having similar interests makes us automatically more likely to connect and be more able to socialize with each other. When we have similarities a group or bond can naturally grow.

5. Know your non-negotiables:

   We all have those pet peeves or values that are deal breakers in any relationship. Go into a socially setting knowing what your non-negotiable are. For some people it is telling the truth, for others it is a specific sense of humor, or possibly even an affinity for dogs. Know what your deal breakers are in a relationship and if you hear them when you are getting to know someone, realize this may be ultimately what breaks the relationship.

6. Go out and practice:

   Try, try and try again. The more you expose yourself to social settings and new people, the more practice you will have in socializing. This will make you better equipped to meet others and help you lower any social anxiety. Take baby steps and slowly but surely put yourself out there. You can do this!

Socializing in this post pandemic era is a struggle. Humana want to feel as a part of a community and culturally some of us seek this more often as well. People have become very used to isolation and are not even aware of how our social skills may have regressed. It is important to be empathetic with yourself, and help yourself get back out there again. Trying to connect, gaining more confidence in your social abilities and finding a great group of friends are all things you can accomplish.

Have you heard about our Serene Mind Social Skills Groups? Coming this fall we will have a social skills group for kids, teens and young adults. Each group will be geared to a different age group. We hope you come socialize with us!

Our Therapists Share, 5 Strategies for Setting Boundaries with Confidence

Boundaries are essential for a balanced life. Women need to set boundaries to prioritize their well-being and avoid burnout, but it can be hard because as women we often face societal pressure to prioritize the needs of others over our own. For some women, the idea of setting boundaries can be intimidating, as we may worry it can cause tension and disrupt our relationships.

All too often, we end up taking on more than we can handle, which only leads to greater stress levels. By setting clear limits in our lives, we can regain control and focus more on managing our time and energy, which is better for our mental health and well-being.

A woman who is constantly saying "yes" to social invitations may find herself feeling exhausted and drained, but by setting a boundary and saying "not today" to some invitations, she can prioritize her need for rest. Similarly, a woman who takes on too many projects may feel like she's not performing at her best. By setting limits with her workload and deadlines, she can reduce burnout and help her mental health.

Setting boundaries is an essential skill that can help you live a healthier and happier life. To aid with this, here are 5 practical strategies for setting boundaries with confidence:

• Know your limits: When you feel overwhelmed take a moment to contemplate what you feel comfortable and uncomfortable with. Make a list in your journal of things you could cut back on. This will help you establish limits that adhere to your values and needs.

• Refrain from over-committing: Declining requests is a skill that's worth enhancing. Begin with trivial demands or commitments which are not part of your top priorities. With regular practice, saying "no" will be an effortless response in no time!

• Don't be afraid to be assertive: It's essential to be confident and firm when establishing boundaries: Speak your needs honestly yet thoughtfully, avoiding accusations or finger-pointing. Taking ownership of our emotions is the best way to ensure healthy relationships with those around us while still caring for ourselves. Do you remember a time someone expressed their limits confidently? How did that make you feel?

• Set consequences: If someone continues to push your boundaries despite being told no, it's important to set consequences for their actions that honor your time and energy. This could mean ending the conversation or relationship altogether.

• Seek support: Setting boundaries can be challenging, but it's important to have a support system in place. Reach out to friends, and family members, or feel free to respond to this email to schedule a session with our team if you need help navigating difficult situations.

  By following these tips, you can confidently set limits and talk about your needs in a clear way. Whether it's saying "no" to small requests or setting consequences for those who push your boundaries, remember that you have the power to control your own life. Remember that setting boundaries is not selfish - it's an act of self-care that allows you to prioritize your own needs.

  Our Women’s Group

  If you need additional support, we’re excited to announce our women’s group that is currently running on the last Friday of every month. In these groups, we are dedicated to helping women foster community and explore emotional empowerment through open discussions and mindful journaling prompts.

  For more information, feel free to reach out at hello@serenemindpsych.com.
  

  From the entire team here at Serene Mind Counseling + Evaluations, we wish you all the success in the world and look forward to seeing you achieve all your goals!
  

4 Ways To Improve Self Esteem

Cultivating and tending to your self-esteem is a lifelong process. Our confidence and self-esteem can be affected by countless factors- consciously and subconsciously. Sometimes it may be challenging in creating goals for boosting yourself up and gaining more confidence. It is often easier to focus on others, giving and doing for them. This only further hinders our ability to gain self esteem and care for ourselves.

Here are some ways you can begin the process and practice of fostering healthy self-esteem:

1) Practice trusting yourself:

We often seek outside validation for on our views, decisions, and choices. Learn to trust your gut and what you feel is best for you. Practice taking time and reflecting on the options you have before making a concrete decision. You have all the answers within you.

2) Surround yourself with people who encourage you:

Sometimes we may not realize how our social environment affects us. When we are around negativity, we can absorb those thoughts, feelings, and patterns if we do not take extra care in being mindful about our environment. Make an effort to surround yourself with individuals who are positive, supportive, and motivating. The influences of positive people around you can affect you, even subconsciously.

3) Take care of yourself- physically, mentally, and emotionally:

Make it a priority to eat well, exercise, and reflect and acknowledge your emotional state. This doesn’t have to be intense. Maybe the best exercise for you is walking around the block each day. Maybe you prefer something that is of a higher intensity like running or weightlifting. Move your body- it helps you connect with yourself and can release endorphins- those “feel good” chemicals that are naturally released through physical activity. Acknowledge your boundaries and limits- with others and yourself. Notice if you are taking on too much, or perhaps you could instill some more effort in an area of your life. Are you feeling emotionally fulfilled and supported? If not, where can you tweak this area of your life? Do you need help or support in doing so?

4) Learn to laugh at and release your mistakes:

We all make mistakes. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself- especially pressure to be perfect. Making mistakes help us learn and grow. Learning to brush off little mistakes (or sometimes even big ones) will create a sense of self-acceptance and self-love. Cut yourself a break!

Are you struggling with your self-esteem and confidence? Do you feel stuck and need some support? We are here to help. Email us at hello@serenemindpsych.com or give us a call at 813.321.8280 to set up an intake appointment to see if one of our therapists can aid you in your healing journey.

4 Steps to Becoming a More Confident Person - From Our Therapists

Have you ever wished you could be a bit more confident? Do you constantly catch yourself comparing yourself to others and wishing that you could be just like them? Well, I want you to know that you are not alone! Many, if not all of us wish we were more confident. It’s something that we all seek and wish to improve on.

Here are a few things that you can do to help improve your self-confidence:

1. Think positive:

Thinking positively is very hard for us a lot of the time. Especially those of us who are juggling many different obligations. However, thinking positively is one of the ultimate keys to building self-confidence. You can go ahead and do this by focusing on one thing that you are happy or grateful for during the day. This can help you focus on the good instead of the negative. Learning to focus on the positives instead of the negatives will allow you to improve the confidence you have within yourself going forward.

2. Positive affirmations:

This might sound a little silly, but hear me out! When you wake up every morning, as a part of your morning routine go ahead and tell yourself something nice. How can you do this? Well, it’s super easy. All you need is to look in the mirror and say “ I am confident, I am beautiful, I am enough.” It does not necessarily need to be these exact statements, but something along these lines. What you’re doing here is giving yourself positive affirmations and eventually you will start believing these statements without having to say them to yourself daily.

3. Acquire a new skill:

Learning new skills always helps boost self-confidence! Why? Well, when you are enjoying yourself and you realize that you are good at a new exciting skill it ends up making you happy. Getting a grasp on a new skill, showing it to others, and having fun with it is a very easy way to help boost your self-confidence. Maybe book a class on something you’ve always wanted to try this weekend!

4. Change your posture:

Simply walking with your head up, making eye contact, and standing up straight can help you not only look, but also feel more confident. Here’s an example of this: If you are meeting a new person, instead of looking down at the floor, go ahead and make eye contact. This goes ahead and shows them that you are confident even if you don’t quite feel that way yet. Eventually by pretending you will begin to feel more and more confident.

All in all, being more confident all starts with YOU! Your mind will always believe what you tell it. If you continue to tell yourself that you aren’t confident, then you WILL believe it and your self-doubt will continue. However, if you tell yourself that you can do this, that you are confident and great, then your mind will believe that too!

You got this.

Body Positivity Summer - A Mental Health Counselor Perspective

It is summer time and summers here in Florida is HOT. They often come with a few hurricanes or tropical storms sprinkled in, so we just want to check in and make sure you're staying safe. 

And as much as we care about your physical well-being, we care about your mental well-being, too. If you’ve been following up along on our instagram, you would see that we are focusing on body positivity and an optimistic mindset. Now, these topics seem great and easy in theory but are often difficult to navigate in our own lives. 

Social media is a huge proponent of social interaction within our generation and this makes the realistic beauty standard feel so high. There are also a variety of other reasons that teens and young adults may struggle with body image while bathing suit season is upon us. According to Mayo Clinic, the most common reasons for low self-esteem are...

• Natural or expected weight gain and other changes caused by puberty

• Peer pressure to look a certain way

• Social media and other media images that promote the ideal body as fit, thin or muscular and encourage users to aspire to unrealistic or unattainable body ideals

• Having a parent who's overly concerned about his or her own weight or his or her child's weight or appearance

• Seeing material in which a teen is seen as a thing for others' sexual use, rather than an independent, thinking person (sexual objectification)

Not only are our bodies supposed to change, mature, and grow, it is healthy for us to do so. Society and generational standards teach us that our bodies should stay the same as it does in high school, forever. This is simply untrue and unrealistic. Men and women alike go through huge changes in their teens and twenties that affect their hormones, their body fat composition, and the obvious appearance changes due to the addition of a baby, in some cases (yes, this affects men’s bodies, too).  

Parental influence also plays a large role in self-confidence and body image. Making sure that the message that is sent to your teens is realistic, accepting, and attainable is so important in creating well-rounded adults with the confidence to make healthy choices on their own. 

These risk factors can create many problems in teens and adolescents that can transpire in their adult lives. Some common effects of poor body image are: 

• Low self-esteem

• Depression

• Nutrition and growth issues

• Eating disorders

• Having a body mass index of 30 or higher (obesity)

It is important to be building the skills necessary to create a body positive environment for yourself, and those around you, to avoid the potentially harmful effects of poor body image. According to the Mayo Clinic, some of the best ways to provide a healthy and safe environment for your child or teen, or even for yourself, is to…

• Set a good example.

  How you accept your body and talk about others' bodies can have a major impact on you and those around you. Remind yourself that you exercise and eat a balanced diet for your health, not just to look a certain way. Also think about what you read and watch as well as the products you buy and the message those choices send.

• Use positive language.

  Rather than talking about physical attributes of yourself or others, praise personal characteristics such as strength, persistence and kindness. Avoid pointing out negative physical attributes in others or yourself. Don't make or allow hurtful nicknames, comments or jokes based on a person's physical characteristics, weight or body shape. It’s just mean. 

• Talk about media messages.

  Social media, movies, television shows and magazines might send the message that only a certain body type or skin color is acceptable and that maintaining an attractive appearance is the most important goal. Even media that encourages being healthy, athletic or fit might depict a narrow body ideal — one that's toned and skinny. Social media and magazine images are also commonly altered. Pay attention to what you are reading, scrolling through or watching and question what you see or hear. Let’s be realistic. 

• Counter negative media messages.

  Expose yourself to individuals who are famous for their achievements — not their appearance. For example, read books or watch movies about inspiring people and their perseverance to overcome challenges.

• Praise achievements.

  Value what you do, rather than what you look like. Look for opportunities to praise effort, skills and achievements in those around you to continue maintaining an overall body positive environment.

• Encourage positive friendships.

  Friends who accept and support you can be a healthy influence. In particular, friends who have healthy relationships with their own bodies can be a positive influence on you too. Find those friends, and do your best to be that friend, for those around you. 

Remember that all bodies are summer bodies, you are allowed to be the person you want to be and love your body for what it is, and you can choose to feel comfortable, just the way you are.

For more information and tips on creating a safe body positive environments for teens, and check our sources, check out this link: https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/tween-and-teen-health/in-depth/healthy-body-image/art-20044668

Beach Body Ready - A Mental Health Perspective

We see it every day: Women with curves are on the front cover of Sports Illustrated and members of the LGBTQ community preaching free love and good vibes over social media. We are finally living in a world open to acceptance, where we can be free to be who we are and love who we love. But, does this mean we love who we are? Does this mean that since society says it is okay to be thin or curvy that we think it’s okay? No, not really.

Just because we know we are loved and accepted does not mean we take the extra step to love and accept ourselves. It is not always easy to see someone preaching “big and beautiful” and feel like your curves are actually accepted.

But why is that?

What keeps those feelings of self-doubt floating around our minds when we are told we are perfect just the way we are?

It is because we do not allow ourselves to incorporate three basic traits into our daily lives: Love, forgiveness and humor.

We are taught self-love is the most important trait and that you must learn to love yourself before you love others. Although it is healthy and important to love yourself, sometimes, in the process of finding love for ourselves, we do not allow love of any kind in. We disregard the love from our family and we ignore the love given to us by our friends. It is acceptable to learn to love yourself and learn what it feels like to be loved by others as well. So, if we feel love, we can learn to accept love. If we learn to accept love, we can learn to give love.

Forgiveness is tough. We can forgive others and look past the mistakes they make but when it becomes personal, it gets a little tricky. The grudge we create for ourselves, subconsciously, make that body positivity we are striving for just a little farther out of reach. Maybe we start a diet and cheat a little two days into it. Maybe we begin a workout routine and it only lasts for a week. Things like this can definitely cause some frustration but that should be the extent of it; temporary frustration. Acknowledge that a mistake has happened forgive yourself because the point of life is not to diet and go to the gym. Continue going to the gym because you enjoy it. Change your eating habits for your health, your well-being, your happiness. To forgive is to move forward. Holding a grudge with yourself will only result in the lack of results. Keep pushing forward, we are only human.

Lastly, we forget to introduce humor. Laugh at the stigma that we still remain to see within the media, regardless of the self-love action going on. There are still girls that we see with the “perfect” bodies and men we see who are “perfectly” buff with symmetrical abs and 15 inch biceps. Those bodies are what Americans have portrayed to be ideal. This is a stigma that we, as a society, is slowly breaking down but we are not quite there yet. Instead of focusing on how you wish you could be them, chuckle at the absurd idea that every human should look that way.

In a study don’t by Psychology Today it was shown that women have a higher sense of self- worth after looking at an Instagram account created to challenge the societal norms. Celest Barber is a famous instagramer who creates “images of celebrities and models and recreates them herself in a humorous way. Both the original image and her parody image are posted side by side, accompanied by a witty comment. Together, her posts poke fun at our society’s absurd and unrealistic appearance ideals.” In this study they had a separate control group of women who only looked only at the model pictures.

The study proceed as follows:

Before and after viewing the images, all women completed questionnaires to assess their mood and how they feel about their body. The researchers found that the women who viewed Celeste Barber’s parody images experienced an increase in body satisfaction compared to the women in the control group. Further, the women in the control group, who only viewed the images of the celebrities and models, experienced a decrease in happiness. With this being said, it is easy to see how humor can be used to change the perspective we have on our bodies. It is relieving to see people who look like we do, normal, on a large platform similar to models and celebrities.

Saying something and actually doing something about the way we feel about ourselves are very different. It is important to surround yourself with positive people and good vibes. It’s summertime here and Florida and EVERYONE has a “Beach Body.” So enjoy the sun and the waves and love yourself just the way you are!