5 Ways to Positively Communicate

How can positive communication help you? When we can communicate our thoughts and feelings in an effective and positive manner, it can help boost our confidence and make us happier. Positive communication improves all aspects of our life and can open so many doors in our lives from self-esteem to relationships, to jobs and many other areas of our lives. There are many factors that go into effective communication and some you can implement with just little effort and the right tool.

Here are some ways you can improve your positive communication skills:

Empathy:

The first step in positive communication is empathy. Empathy is the ability to understand and share what others feel. Its important to acknowledge where people come from and why they feel or do certain things that are desirable and undesirable. When communicating with someone to encourage them to make a change saying something like “I understand that that this process is stressful” or “I understand that anxiety is common, and you aren’t alone in this”. Encouraging and understanding language can make your positive communication all the more effective and impact outcomes.

Body language:

Open body language is key in positively communicating. If your arms are crossed or your body is turned away from someone it can already feel like you’re on the defensive or aren’t receptive to what they have to say. Positive body language looks like upright and open posture, keeping your body and head faced towards them, nodding your head in understanding, keeping your palms open, and smiling. Implementing positive body language can make the difference in your communication being effective.

Active Listening:

Are you listening to the words coming out of their mouth so you can respond; or are you taking in what they are saying and taking a second to form your thought and how you want to say it? Knowing the difference and actively trying to do the second can be so incredibly helpful in communicating and taking in information. Many times, we just want to react and say what we’re thinking as quickly as possible, but we might miss vital information or nonverbal communication. Maintaining eye contact, slowing down, taking in information, and thinking before we respond can help improve our positive communication skills.

Staying Away from Negative Terms:

Any words that shut down a conversation or would make someone likely feel defensive or bad about themselves or the situation should be avoided as much as possible. Using would like won’t, don’t, can’t, never, all have a negative connotation that comes with them. Along with this trying to you “I” language can help the other person more receptive to what you’re saying. For example, saying “You don’t do xyz for me” say “I really like when you do xyz and it makes me feel appreciated.” Just making the conscious choice to positively change your wording can make the whole difference in how effective your communication is.

Offer Help:

It can be a daunting task to change what you’ve always done and are comfortable with. When asking someone to change what they are doing you might meet some resistance. Their response might be disappointing or frustrating but it’s something you should be prepared for. Offering help or alternatives can be beneficial in making the task of change more palatable and attainable. This is where meeting others with empathy is helpful, understanding where they come from and why they do things we don’t like can aid in finding ways help them change their actions for the better. If your partner or kids aren’t behaving in a desirable way think about why they might be acting like that. Is something going on at work, school, or home? Do they need help with their routine to become more efficient? Are they struggling with their mental health and are lashing out in other way? Try opening up an ongoing discussion with them in a positive, empathetic, and understanding manner and together you can figure out what needs to change in order to make everyone’s life a little better. This sentiment can be applied to pretty much anything with anyone regardless of if it’s in your personal or work life; sometimes we just need a little help and don’t know how to ask for it.

Our Therapists Share: 7 Signs Your Teen May Be Struggling with Anxiety

More and more teens are experiencing anxiety, and the symptoms of anxiety can reveal themselves in many different ways. With the fast-paced culture and lifestyle teens live in today, fears, overstimulation, and social situations blossom into full blown anxiety. There are ways to see signs of these symptoms and help to lessen or even stop the discomforts of anxious feelings and thoughts.

Here are some common indicators that your teen may be struggling with anxiety:

Appetite changes

Some teens experience a loss of appetite and skip a meal (or even 2 or 3) when feeling extremely anxious. Others may have a significant increase in appetite.

Trouble Concentrating

The inability to complete tasks and forgetfulness falls under the umbrella of anxiety symptoms. This can also appear as task avoidance, overstimulation, overwhelm, and discouragement. Some teens may be jittery, aloof, and confused- all of these characteristics indicate anxiety may be present.

Connected to devices

Notice your teen constantly scrolling on their social media apps? Scrolling, texting, and even just the instant gratification of picking up a cell phone device can serve as a distraction from anxiety triggers, but in turn can increase them two-fold. These devices are often used as a coping mechanism to distract from the discomfort of anxious thoughts and feelings.

Withdrawal

Can’t get your teen to come out of their room when their home? Is it a battle trying to get them to eat at the dinner table, attend family functions, or even engage in conversation? Withdrawing from social interactions is a key indicator that your teen may be feeling anxious. Nervousness, shyness, visible discomfort- all contribute to a social withdrawal.

Physical Symptoms and/or Anxiety attacks

Anxiety can show many physical symptoms, including:

-Nausea &/or vomiting

-Sweating

-Shaking

-Fainting

-Stuttering

-Rapid breathing

-Racing heartbeat

Difficulty Sleeping

Restlessness and insomnia are often indicators of anxiety. When the mind is not focusing on other things or being distracted, it can revisit thoughts or feelings that are uncomfortable or anxiety provoking. This often happens during bedtime when distractions are decreased in comparison to during the day. There is less stimulation and more sitting with the self. Some teens will stay up late on social media or playing video games to distract from these thoughts and feelings, then fall asleep out of pure exhaustion involuntarily.

Academic Decline

Grades starting to slip? Anxiety may be behind it. The pressure of performing academically effects countless teens, where other teens may be distracted with other anxious thoughts that schoolwork is sent to the back burner. Check in with your teen to see how you can support them with their schooling.

Is your teen experiencing anxiety? Do they need extra support in navigating their symptoms? We offer teen counseling and rolling groups for teens that focus on many areas of life during the teenage years. Wanting to deepen the connection between you and your teen?

We also offer family therapy. Email us at hello@serenemindpsych.com or call us at 813.321.8280 for more info.

Check out our upcoming teen social skills group starting this summer here: https://www.serenemindpsych.com/teen-social-skills-group

Our Therapists Share 3 Ways Social Media Impacts Mental Health

In our modern day and age, social media has dominated communication in many different areas. Connecting with friends and family through messages, sharing pictures of your life, shopping, dating, and even networking to further your career can be done all from a tiny screen that you can tote in your pocket. There are thousands of apps that can fit virtually any need, and most have a social component within the app. Although there can be many positives with the rise of social media, there are also some attributes to these apps that can negatively impact mental and emotional health.

1. Instant Gratification

Getting an immediate reward, or instant gratification is a common product of regular social media use. Being able to speak to someone immediately, purchase goods, or even scrolling constantly being introduced to different stimuli can create a sense of power and control.

A chemical in the body called dopamine is released when we partake in instant gratification behaviors, and when participated in often, can change an individual’s behavior completely. Needing to be constantly stimulated (example: scrolling, checking texts or emails, etc.) releases dopamine and when this is done frequently, the body becomes overstimulated. This can create feelings of anxiety and overwhelm when instant gratification is unavailable to an individual who is used to it. This is also a way to disconnect and disassociate from needing to problem solve or wait for stimuli to present itself.

The more we become accustomed to the instant gratification, the more we seek this pleasurable activity. This can lead us down a spiral and ultimately lead to great disappointment.

2. The Comparison Game

Seeing others on social media posting their achievements, purchases, and even daily life can create a “comparison game” within. This game can turn into a rabbit hole of feelings and thoughts such as, “Why can’t I have those things?”, “They are so much more attractive than me”, “They must be rich to afford that”. These comparisons are hurtful, lead to expectations that are unattainable and unrealistic.

Most people post the best of their worlds on their social media platforms. When seeing the best parts of someone’s life through pictures or word on a screen, it is easy to forget that they are humans too- people that have challenges, difficulties, and vulnerabilities.

The Comparison Game can also lead to FOMO, or “Fear of Missing Out”, where individuals feel like they don’t fit in or belong with their peers. Constant exposure to these platforms can create feelings of shame, guilt, not feeling worthy, and even missing out on things they think they may deserve or wish they could have. It is important to keep in check the realities of each post and person posting.

3. Cyberbullying

Within the last 10 years the popularity of social media platforms has increased, and so has cyberbullying. Cyberbullying can have tremendous effects on a person’s self-image, self-esteem, and social skills.

Many individuals find it easier to argue, make fun of, and even harass others through a digital format rather than in real life, face-to- face interactions. When prolonged and unreported, cyberbullying can take an extreme toll on a person’s mental and emotional health, and even start to affect their physical health. It is hard to escape bullies on social media, they are constantly there and you may feel as if it is out of control.

The world of social media is a new territory for many of us. We have no way of knowing what further studies or future generations will be impacted by the decisions we make on social media today. It is a scary and unfamiliar world for ourselves, our kids and teens. Always remember that you have the power to control the amount you use, the platforms you access and how accessible you are in the realm of social media.

Are you feeling that you are experiencing negative thoughts or feelings due to social media use? We are here to help. Email us at hello@serenemindpsych.com or give us a call at 813.321.8280 to set up an intake appointment to see if one of our therapists can aid you in your healing journey.

3 Ways to Teach Your Teen How to be Confident

As parents, we strive to cultivate a life for our child or teen that prepares them for life on their own in the future. Bolstering your teen’s confidence is an imperative piece to preparing them to be adults that live a happy and healthy life as a contributor to society. Building self-esteem and confidence is an integral part of the process of growing up, especially during the teenage years. You can contribute to enhancing the confidence of your teen- in easy ways!

How can I teach my teen to be more confident?

1) Encourage teens to make decisions on their own.

Often times, teens look to their parents for assurance and acceptance in their decision making. Encourage your teen to weigh out the pros and cons in their choices. Acknowledge that your teen’s choices have a subsequent consequence- whether positive or negative. As much as you may want to sway your teen to a decision, try to detach yourself from their decision making and the possible outcomes. By practicing this, your teen will build trust, social and life skills. Your teen will start to trust themselves and feel confident in decision making.

2) Encourage your teen to branch out, independently.

Routines and patterns help kids and teens (and adults) feel safe. Encouraging your teen to take chances and to try new things will help your teen feel confident in new situations and environments that they may (and will!) encounter when they are adults. Encouraging them to try new clubs, sports, activities, or even participate in different social groups can help your teen feel more comfortable in socializing and conducting themselves in new and different spaces.

3) Praise, Accept, Encourage your teen.

Most kids and teens look to their parents to evaluate their self-worth. Praise your children or teens on their accomplishments, big or small. Encourage your teen when they are struggling. Accept your teen for who they are. Try to avoid projecting your goals and values onto your children or teen and encourage them to formulate these views on their own. This doesn’t mean you can’t offer your input or opinion- but do so with their consent. Unsolicited advice from parents can feel discouraging and off- putting and can lead to teens second guessing their views and decisions. Parental support is paramount for creating a positive self- image for both kids and teens. If we teach our children and teens that they are loveable and worthy, they will believe it too.

Is your teen needing a boost in their confidence skills? We offer teen counseling and rolling groups for teens that focus on many areas of life during the teenage years. Wanting to deepen the connection between you and your teen? We also offer family therapy. Email us at hello@serenemindpsych.com or call us at 813.321.8280 for more info.

Therapists Share 5 Reasons to Embrace Your Fear

Fear is often portrayed in a negative light - as something we need to “defeat.” While it is important to not let fear prevent you from living your life, it is still okay to feel afraid. Fear helps us. It is an important emotion to have. Many of us feel afraid when we are in a situation where we do not yet trust or feel safe. Listening to how we feel in situations can help us learn to trust , connect with others and feel grounded.

Here are 5 ways that fear can be embraced, just remember:

1. Fear is a normal emotion, therefore being afraid is nothing to be embarrassed about.

Experiencing anxiety or fear does not make you weak. It makes you human.

2. Avoiding or denying your fear only allows it to grow.

It is better to acknowledge, embrace, and process your fear than attempt to suppress it.

3. Experiencing fear can be a sign you are stepping out of your comfort zone.

Trying new things can be scary but facing your fears will lead to personal growth.

4. Fear provides a sense of prospective.

In order to fully appreciate the feeling of calmness, you must also know what it is like to feel afraid.

5. You do not always have to “overcome” your fear, as it can protect you.

Sometimes feeling afraid is a warning sign that you should avoid something that could be emotionally triggering or physically dangerous.

Fear is a healthy emotion. Without fear most of us would be in threatening situations or living our life on the edge everyday. A helpful amount of fear is appropriate and well needed to feel balanced.

5 Ways to Spring Clean your Mental + Physical Health

See ya, Florida winter!

it is basically summer here, so what does that mean for us? 

SPRING CLEANING for your mental health! 

Maybe this means cleaning those top shelves that are too difficult to dust, getting outside and freshening up your flower bed, or clearing out some space in your mind for more room to bloom, this time of year calls for reorganization, decluttering, refreshing and cleaning! 

This month we are going to talk about building effective workout and mindfulness habits. It is often difficult to enjoy working out your body, the same way it may be hard to sit with your emotions while working out your mind. To maintain a balance within our lives, it is necessary to promote healthy lifestyle behaviors. 

Here are 5 Ways to Improve Your Mental and Physical Health:

1. Declutter your social media account: it is okay to remove and delete influencers and friends who are dampening your online space. Being on social media can be fun, educational and healthy if you follow the right people. Remember to take breaks, and not overwhelm yourself with comparisons.

2. Reorganize your pantry: taking the time to donate and recycle foods that you do not eat, or foods that may cause you bloating, inflammation or just plain make you feel blah are a great idea. Sometimes having access to unhealthy options makes it easier for us to choose those foods. If you limit what you purchase, you can make better choices on what you eat. What we eat has a great impact on both our mental and physical health.

3. Grow new friendships: making new friends takes bravery, going out of your comfort zone, common interests and knowing your value. Try initiating a conversation with someone who has similar interests and values. You never know, this might be the start of a great, new connection.

4. Spruce up your exercise routine: you can make time to make your exercise routine fun and different. By using different muscles and exercises you grow both mentally and physically. Since the weather is nicer, you can take your routine outdoors or maybe even the beach.

5. Clean out your negative thoughts: take the time to connect with your thoughts and process how you are thinking. Sometimes we fly by our day not realizing how much negativity we carry. Take the load off and journal, meditate and change these thoughts.

Having a new perspective and the time to build new habits can help us feel more in control of our lives. By balancing your mind, body and soul you are able to grow in a balanced direction. This can make stress easier to manage, boundaries easier to set and relationships more positive.

Our Therapists Share Thoughts On Overcoming Anxiety

Anxiety and depression oftentimes coexistent. When someone is experiencing one, it is common for them to also be experiencing the other. Last week, we talked about how to support your family member, loved one, or friend who is experiencing depression, this week we will reflect on the importance on how to continue to provide support when a loved one is feeling anxious as well! 

Let’s start with the basics, what is anxiety? 

Anxiety is the consistent and persistent feeling of worry and fear for everyday events and tasks. Anxiety is normal, and we all experience it to some extent under certain circumstances, like public speaking or looking over the edge of a tall building. Anxiety becomes problematic when it interferes with our ability to engage in daily living. This means it becomes difficult for someone to go grocery shopping or interact with a friend or coworker. 

What can you do to provide support for someone dealing with this? 

Understand that the fear is real.

It may be hard to understand or conceptualize, right? Why is it such a big deal to go to the store or hang out with a friend? It becomes easy to minimize their fear and worry, simply because you are rationalizing it. Ultimately, this fear is entirely real and the way you are seeing the situation is simply not the same as the person who is anxious. Empathizing with their fears and helping them find accommodations to this worry that can be fitting for their lives is a great way to show your support to them. 

Try your best to listen and be a safe space for them to express their fears.

Rather than telling them to calm down when you see someone getting upset about their own anxiety, try to remember it’s not personal. Getting upset with them and brushing off their fears can disrupt the trust you have built together. Listening to their worries may, not only be a way for you to connect with them, it could be a way for you to fully understand what they are going through internally, making it easier to talk them down when they are overwhelmed. 

Helping them practice mindfulness and deep breathing. 

Deep breathing is so important for someone with anxiety. When the anxious feelings become too difficult to handle, it could potentially lead to an anxiety attack which consists of racing heartbeat, intense fear, hyperventilation, and other unpleasant symptoms. Taking a moment to slow down, take some deep breaths and help your person ground themselves can take that intense panic away.  Giving them a hug can also help them feel safe and secure in their moment of weakness. 

Overall, trying to remember that everyone has different perspectives is the main goal. Every single brain works a little bit different than yours and having the ability to be empathetic, even when you cannot understand it, is a skill that takes time to develop.  Let your loved one know that you are working too and hopefully, together, you  can support each other on the long road to decreasing stigmatization and feeling better overall.

Therapists Agree, You Can Make Change Happen

Routines are hard to maintain. They are healthy because they keep us organized and help us maintain some sense of normalcy. But what happens when there is a glitch in our routine? What happens when we have to make a change?

Now, change can be a very broad term. We can change many things like the color of our hair, the clothes we wear, the way we act or even the way we think.

Each form of change comes with one common factor: the unknown.

Every time we make a change we take a risk, no matter how small or how noticeable this change may be. The changes that are the hardest to make though are those that come from within, rather than those that appear on the outside. Working to make an inner change is hard and it is completely normal to not know where to start or how to go about it.

Let’s talk about some examples of what making an inner change looks like.

It is healthy for us to notice our negative qualities and want to adjust them.

A bad trait we sometimes have is addressing ourselves with a negative tone. By this I mean you wake up in the morning, get ready for work, walk past a mirror and think “yikes” to yourself as you walk out the door because you’ve had better hair days before and today was just not cutting it.

We can start by taking baby steps toward the changes we wish to make that will create an overall happier version of ourselves.

Step 1: Identify the problem. What is causing you to be upset? When you go through your daily routine, take note of the things that make your day better and of the things that make you feel uncomfortable. By identifying the underlying causes of our feelings and insecurities, it becomes easier to change these behaviors slowly over time.

Step 2: Create a plan to make things better. If you notice every day you do happen to be that person that tells yourself you don’t look that great when you walk out the door in the morning, make it a priority to find something about you that you DO like. Look at yourself and find one thing to compliment. This will help build self-esteem and help us realize that no one is perfect so we must love our imperfections.

Step 3: Surround yourself with support. If you feel uncomfortable around a group of people, you feel like they are not good for your mental health, find a way to fix it. This does not always mean kicking people out of your life or cutting them off but, instead, try to find other grounds to talk about, other common factors. Learn to listen, rather than talk for a more positive outcome.

Step 4: Maintain a routine. Once we have identified the things we wish to change and come up with a plan to enact this change within our daily lives, we must find a way to keep the positivity prevalent.

As I’ve said before, being human is hard. It is not always easy to know right from wrong. It is not always clear what steps we should take to make ourselves feel happier. Change is ultimately inevitable. So, if we can learn how to maintain a sense of normalcy while going through a change that we decide on, it will make it easier to cope with the changes in our lives that are out of our control.