Prioritize Your Mental Health: Do Not Ignore These Signs of Burn Out

Many of us have felt the heaviness of responsibility. Some of us have felt the stress of obligation. Staying up late to finish left over work or to meet a deadline? Checking work emails and accepting calls or texts while off the clock? Agreeing to do more work to cover for a coworker?

Are the projects piling up?

When these types of scenarios pop up, it is easy to think “just this once”, or “I’ll make sure this won’t happen again”. Over time, the weight of these emotions and dynamics can lead to burnout. In a culture filled with constant stimulation, over drive, and expectations, burn out has become increasingly common.

With mindful self-care and boundaries, we can prevent burnout.

What are some signs of burnout?

1) Lack of Motivation-Avoiding and ignoring tasks, difficulty to instill effort

2) Feelings of Defeat and Hopelessness-Feeling like you can’t complete tasks or even show up

3) Performance and productivity decline-Making mistakes, taking constant breaks

4) Change in emotional demeanor-Feeling sad, anxious, angry, or frustrated

5) Concentration challenges-Feeling easily distracted

6) Detachment- Not feeling invested in or caring about the work you do

If you feel you are struggling with burnout, here are some important self-reflection questions to ask yourself:

1) Why do I feel the need or obligation to take on extra work?

2) What are the ramifications of a decline of performance and productivity on my part?

3) What is my body telling me about how I am feeling emotionally with my circumstances?

Take some time to understand and reflect on your situation and ask for additional supports if you need it. Don’t be afraid to ask for help!

How can I heal from burnout?

Recovering from a period of burnout takes time. Instilling effort to recover can often be extremely challenging when you are burnt out and running on an empty tank. Sometimes the best action to take when experiencing burn out is to leave the environment in order to heal, but sometimes you can remain in the same place with a shift of boundaries and expectations.

Here are some simple tips you can add into your day little by little to aid in recovering from burn out:

 Take a break or vacation (if feasible)

 Try to slowly add in some sprinkles of extra self-care throughout your day

 Carve out some time in nature for a walk or quiet time

 Unplug consistently

 Eat away from your desk

 Don’t check emails/turn off your phone after business hours

 Eat nourishing meals & stay hydrated

 Connect with friends, family, or a mental health professional to process your feelings

If you feel you’ve fallen into a pit of burnout, you CAN make your way out of that cycle with time and support. Do you feel stuck and need some extra help? We are here to help. Email us at hello@serenemindpsych.com or give us a call at 813.321.8280 to set up an intake appointment to see if one of our therapists can aid you in your healing journey.

How + Why to Prioritize Your Self Care

In a culture and society that is all about the hustle and bustle, self-care often takes a backseat to things we find ”productive” like work, exercise, and chores around the house. What is important to learn is that self-care is productive, and very important for our health and wellbeing. Self-care helps us give our minds a break and to relax.

Unplugging from the constant stimulation of texts, busy work schedules, to-do lists and helps us feel more into our parasympathetic nervous system and release from the on-edge feelings of always being connected.

Taking the time for self-care will actually improve your productivity- helping you feel energized and refreshed.

• Eat Well

• With our fast-paced lifestyle, it is easy to swing by a drive-thru fast-food restaurant or pick up a grab-n-go meal from your local grocery store. Grant yourself just 30 minutes each week to create a meal plan for yourself. Meal prepping is helpful to create an easy and quick meal that can be stored in the fridge and heated up in minutes. By taking a small amount of time during the week to prep and plan meals, you are saving more time (and money!) in the long run- not to mention fueling yourself with higher quality ingredients and important nutrients that fast food and frozen/prepackaged meals can’t provide.

• Take a Break from Social Media

• Find yourself constantly scrolling? This is a hint that you may be overstimulated or bored. Let yourself rest by unplugging, even if it is just for an hour. Constantly staying connected keeps our brains on overdrive, taking away from the present moment.

• Maintain your Sleep Schedule

• Up late to meet that deadline? Staying up to cram for an exam? Indulging in a Netflix marathon until 2am? When these habits pile up, it starts to take a toll on your physical, and even mental health. Sleep is the body’s way of regenerating, and it should be treated as a non- negotiable self-care routine. Create a schedule that works best for you and try to stick with it. Go to bed around the same time each night so your body creates a natural rhythm. Waking up feeling rested and refreshed will help you feel even more productive in your day-to-day tasks and activates.

• Social Time

• Connect with you friends (in person!) Need we say more? Social time is so important for our health and wellbeing. Feeling connected and that we belong is crucial to our sense of self-esteem and emotional health. Call up a friend or family member and make plans, even if it is just for a quick coffee meet-up. Even short interactions can help foster and nourish the foundation of our relationships and help us feel supported and secure.

• Get Bored; Embrace Leisure

• It is easy to pick up your phone and scroll when you are feeling bored or uneasy. When you’re feeling bored, let the creativity take over. Pick up the paintbrushes and create something new! Or maybe grab your notebook and start those journaling prompts you’ve been piling up. Sign up for that last minute cycle class.

• When you give yourself space to be bored and have free time, you’ll start to remember the things you enjoy and want to engage in more often. Sometimes the spur of the moment leisure activities can spark even more creativity and inspiration in other areas of your life!

Looking for a therapist or life coach to help you on your self-care journey? We are here to help. Email us at hello@serenemindpsych.com or give us a call at 813.321.8280 to set up an intake appointment to see if one of our therapists can aid you in your healing journey.

Relationship Therapists Share: What are the Signs of a Codependent Relationship?

Codependent relationships are more common than we realize. These relationships are not only present in romantic partners; but can also be a dysfunctional dynamic in friendships, parent/child relationships, and even work relationships.

Codependent behaviors generally stem from social childhood or your teen years. Some factors that can contribute to these behaviors are:

- Experiencing abuse

- Having a parent or family member who suffers from an addiction, illness, or other health impairment

- Growing up with a controlling parent or caregiver

- Experiencing abandonment

- Experiencing divorce

- Being bullied as a child

In a codependent relationship, there is a person who is a caretaker and a person who takes advantage of the caretaking behaviors. Both individuals in the relationship are dependent on the behaviors of the other, feeling like they need the other person in their lives to function.

There is a need to be needed for the caretaker, and a need to be taken care of from the other individual in the relationship. There are several indicators that you could possibly be in a codependent relationship.

Here are a few factors to help you determine if you are:

People Pleasing

Putting your needs aside to please your partner or other party in your relationship is a main sign of a codependent relationship. At first, these actions may seem like a loving gesture of compassion, but then start to spiral into an unhealthy habit. The caretaking individual in the relationship often values the opinions of others rather than listening to their own intuition or following their preferences.

They want to make others happy, in fear that others won’t love or even like them anymore if they push back or disagree. Often times, the caretaker does not like to make decisions without the approval and input of the other individual of their codependent relationship, or even others in their lives. People pleasing becomes a currency to be liked or loved by others- needing this affection from others, but especially the other person in the codependent relationship. This stems from the codependent relationship and can start to bleed into other relationships.

Lack of Boundaries

The concept of emotional (and sometimes physical) boundaries can be blurred in codependent relationships. For the caretaking individual, they may feel underappreciated by the other person; yet continue to please them and be mistreated. They may offer consistent unsolicited advice, enable inappropriate or unacceptable behavior, and sometimes even feel responsible for the other person’s actions.

For the individual who takes advantage of the caretaker, they may push the envelope in terms of boundaries. This person is typically aware of the unconditional love and support of the caretaker, so they often feel comfortable mistreating, taking advantage, and disregarding the feelings of the caretaker. Both people in the relationship can fall into a pattern of denial about their behaviors within the relationship.

Self Esteem Challenges

For the caretaking individual, their self-esteem, self-worth, and self- image usually revolves around the assurance, validation, and approval of the other party in the relationship. They lack inner trust and confidence in many cases. There is a great fear of being rejected, disliked, or viewed negatively. Sometimes these feelings evolve and creates a victim mentality. These individuals often do not like to be alone and feel comfort when in the company of others, especially the other half of the codependent relationship.

For the individual who takes advantage of the caretaker, they often have an inflated self- esteem and ego. They feel they are worthy of the consistent caregiving treatment and expect and accept nothing else.

Do you feel like you are in a codependent relationship? Are you looking to break free from the relationship patterns you have found yourself in? At Serene Mind, we are here to help. You can also email us at hello@serenemindpsych.com or give us a call at 813.321.8280 to set up an intake appointment to see if one of our therapists is a good fit for you!

Our Relationship Therapists Share How to Cope with Friendship Breakups

Friendship breakups can feel as heartbreaking and disappointing as romantic splits. Sometimes the paths of our lives start to move in different directions and our friendships evolve. The friendships we create can be for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. We connect with others based on common interests, opinions, and life circumstances.

The endings of these relationships can leave us feeling lost and confused. Friendships can end because of a specific event or issue, or sometimes they can slowly diminish without us even realizing it.

Here are some tips our therapists have put together to aid you in navigating a friendship breakup.

Why Do friendships end?

-Breaking of trust

-Physical or emotional distance

-Difference in views

-Misunderstandings or disagreements

- Unresolved power differential

- Abuse

How to Cope with friendship breakups:

1) Process the relationship dynamic

Give yourself the space and time to honor the relationship and grieve the loss of it going forward. Take the time to evaluate the lessons learned within the friendship and what good came out of the relationship.

These are some questions to sit on and ask yourself when processing the shifting of your friendship. Did the friendship teach you something? Did you subconsciously back out of the relationship, or put in more than the other party? What memories can you look back on and still be fond of? Where can you take accountability in challenges within the relationship? How can you grow and learn from this relationship dynamic so It does not develop in other friendships?

It may feel supportive to process the relationship dynamic with a trusted person like another friend, family member, or professional mental health counselor to help recognize any blind spots that you might be missing in your reflection.

2) Lean into self-care:

Like any breakup or loss in your life, friendship break ups can create feelings of grief, sadness, and even anger. Channel these feelings and energy into yourself care practices. Get out for a walk in nature, listen to your favorite music, treat yourself to your favorite meal. Being extra gentle with yourself when processing the ending of the friendship. It is okay to feel sad, angry, or maybe even resentful for a period of time. This is normal and natural.

When you feel ready, release the emotions that arise in healthy ways that feel safe and nourishing to you. Emotions are motivators and encouragers of movement-allow yourself to move and release the feelings and thoughts that come up that do not serve you.

3) Create space for new friendships:

Have you ever heard the saying, “when one door closes, another opens”? When you create the space for other friends or new friends, these connections have room to grow and blossom.

Dedicate your time and energy into relationships and friendships that feel nourishing during this time. When we put our thought and energy into relationships that have ended, are toxic, or are struggling, we often forget about the relationships that are supportive and healthy for us- and perhaps are even missing opportunities for potential friendships that could start to grow from even the smallest of interactions. If it feels resonate to you, try a new fitness class, neighborhood meet up, or social group- you never know what connections could be waiting for you unless you put forth effort and put yourself out there!

Just like relationships with family, colleagues, and even romantic relationships, break-ups do not have to last forever. Sometimes a “break” is necessary to move and shift within the relationship and taking time and space from a friendship can help heal some of the broken parts within the dynamic. Other times, a friendship breakup is the healthiest decision for all. All of these experiences help us grow as individuals and teaches us lessons on not only how to be a friend to others, but a friend to ourselves.

Are you struggling with a friendship breakup? We have several relationship therapists at Serene Mind who can help you process these transitions and explore these relationship dynamics. If you feel you need support, please feel free to reach out to us at hello@serenemindpysch.com, or call us at 813.321.8280. We are here to help you while you continue on your path!

Our Therapists Share 3 Ways Social Media Impacts Mental Health

In our modern day and age, social media has dominated communication in many different areas. Connecting with friends and family through messages, sharing pictures of your life, shopping, dating, and even networking to further your career can be done all from a tiny screen that you can tote in your pocket. There are thousands of apps that can fit virtually any need, and most have a social component within the app. Although there can be many positives with the rise of social media, there are also some attributes to these apps that can negatively impact mental and emotional health.

1. Instant Gratification

Getting an immediate reward, or instant gratification is a common product of regular social media use. Being able to speak to someone immediately, purchase goods, or even scrolling constantly being introduced to different stimuli can create a sense of power and control.

A chemical in the body called dopamine is released when we partake in instant gratification behaviors, and when participated in often, can change an individual’s behavior completely. Needing to be constantly stimulated (example: scrolling, checking texts or emails, etc.) releases dopamine and when this is done frequently, the body becomes overstimulated. This can create feelings of anxiety and overwhelm when instant gratification is unavailable to an individual who is used to it. This is also a way to disconnect and disassociate from needing to problem solve or wait for stimuli to present itself.

The more we become accustomed to the instant gratification, the more we seek this pleasurable activity. This can lead us down a spiral and ultimately lead to great disappointment.

2. The Comparison Game

Seeing others on social media posting their achievements, purchases, and even daily life can create a “comparison game” within. This game can turn into a rabbit hole of feelings and thoughts such as, “Why can’t I have those things?”, “They are so much more attractive than me”, “They must be rich to afford that”. These comparisons are hurtful, lead to expectations that are unattainable and unrealistic.

Most people post the best of their worlds on their social media platforms. When seeing the best parts of someone’s life through pictures or word on a screen, it is easy to forget that they are humans too- people that have challenges, difficulties, and vulnerabilities.

The Comparison Game can also lead to FOMO, or “Fear of Missing Out”, where individuals feel like they don’t fit in or belong with their peers. Constant exposure to these platforms can create feelings of shame, guilt, not feeling worthy, and even missing out on things they think they may deserve or wish they could have. It is important to keep in check the realities of each post and person posting.

3. Cyberbullying

Within the last 10 years the popularity of social media platforms has increased, and so has cyberbullying. Cyberbullying can have tremendous effects on a person’s self-image, self-esteem, and social skills.

Many individuals find it easier to argue, make fun of, and even harass others through a digital format rather than in real life, face-to- face interactions. When prolonged and unreported, cyberbullying can take an extreme toll on a person’s mental and emotional health, and even start to affect their physical health. It is hard to escape bullies on social media, they are constantly there and you may feel as if it is out of control.

The world of social media is a new territory for many of us. We have no way of knowing what further studies or future generations will be impacted by the decisions we make on social media today. It is a scary and unfamiliar world for ourselves, our kids and teens. Always remember that you have the power to control the amount you use, the platforms you access and how accessible you are in the realm of social media.

Are you feeling that you are experiencing negative thoughts or feelings due to social media use? We are here to help. Email us at hello@serenemindpsych.com or give us a call at 813.321.8280 to set up an intake appointment to see if one of our therapists can aid you in your healing journey.

Therapists Share Your First Semester at College Survival Guide

As a high school senior you were on top of the food chain. You probably knew your school like the back of your hand and best of all you were comfortable. August is finally here and the fall college semester will begin soon. Some of you are heading to schools where you will be one of thousands of students, others are heading to small schools in which you will be one of hundreds. Either way it is a BIG change and college anxiety is real. 

Here are some ways to ease your mind and look forward to your first day of college: 

1. Purchase the essentials: Aside the typical dorm items, remember to purchase school supplies and your books. Show up to class prepared and ready to take notes (even if it is the first day of class). In college professors will expect you to always be prepared to learn, there is no movie day or freebie. 

2. Go explore the campus: Learn where your dorm is, the nearest dining halls and where your classes are. Learn to take the bus and time how long you take to reach your destination. This will help you plan how much time you have between classes. 

3. Get to know your professors: No, you do not have to take them to lunch, but introduce yourself during a class break and research their ratings on www.ratemyprofessor.com or a similar website  (this will make you aware of their teaching style and personality).  

4. Get to know your roommates: Spend time together, talk, go out to eat and learn what you have in common. Your roommates can be a great part of your college experience (they still are a great part of my life). You will be living with them so make the best of it and work on building a friendship. 

5. Have a schedule: Write down and plan out your day (from start to finish). This will help ease your stress and increase your timeliness. You can add lunch, time with friends, work out time, study hours and quizzes to all fit your schedule. 

6. Have fun: Take the time to join clubs and make friends. College is not just about your studies. It is a great opportunity to make social connections (future work connections are always great) and explore the things that really interest you. This will help you find your identity, which can help you choose a career that aligns with who you are. 

Prepare yourself for a year of learning, fun and exciting new ventures! College is what you make of it. Remember to take one day at a time. Patience is key to learning your way around, adapting to a new environment and surviving your first semester.