New Mommy Love - Postpartum Love from Our Therapists

The birth of a new member to any family can most definitely trigger a wide range of powerful emotions. These emotions can range from excitement and joy to great anxiety and uneasiness. Most of the time, the uneasy emotions, anxiety and even depression can last up to about two weeks, but in some cases they continue for longer periods of time. When new moms are experiencing this more severe, long lasting form of depression it is usually the sign of postpartum depression. 

For any new moms that may be reading this, we do want you to know that postpartum depression does not mean you are weak or flawed in any way. It’s actually very common in new moms. Studies show that postpartum depression actually affects 1 in 9 new mothers. Getting back to feeling like yourself may take some time, but know that it is possible!

We would like to provide you with 5 things you or someone you know could follow to help on their new mommy journey to improve postpartum:

1. Rest:

   It is very important that you rest as much as you can. Although extremely hectic, try to schedule your sleep time around your baby’s sleep time. If possible, see if someone can give you a hand so that you can rest. 

2. Get out of the house:

   Make time for yourself. Whether this is simply going out to get a massage, an ice cream cone, visit some friends, or even spend time alone with your partner.

3. Join a support group:

   It’s extremely easy to find a support group with the help of technology! This may be extremely helpful if you are needing that extra support. Many other mothers are going through the same thing. Learning about their experiences may be not only insightful but helpful.

4. Don’t do everything alone:

   I know that sometimes you might want to do everything. However, you deserve a break too! Ask your partner, family or even friends for help if you really need it. Asking for help doesn’t make you any less of a mother. 

5. Don’t make any major life changes:

   Giving birth and welcoming a new child to the world is already life changing as is. More major changes can cause you heaps of unneeded stress. Sadly, there are life changes that we simply cannot avoid. When those occur, please try to reach out to family and friends to arrange support and help you ahead of time. 

It can also be helpful to have someone you trust take care of the baby while you are managing postpartum depression. If you are currently feeling this way, don’t juggle it all alone. Tell a loved one or talk with a professional. It may not seem like it now, but it will get better. 

Your Healing Journey is Not Linear - A Therapy Perspective

Whether you have experienced mental or physical pain, healing takes time. When we scrape our knee the mark doesn’t go away over night. It has to heal and there is a process involved. When we are hurt emotionally how do we heal from that pain?

It is also a process. There are things we can do to help the process move along but it is important to know that everyone is moving at different paces.

Here are some ways to help you grow at your own pace:

1. Recognize that no one is perfect:

   The idea that perfection exists can stop us from making progress. We forget that we can be novice, make mistakes and learn.

2. Getting better, can make us feel all over the place:

   Self growth takes us wanting to sometimes feel a little worse, just before making the most progress and actually getting better. That is okay, lean into the discomfort and explore this area. You may find some answers you did not even know you had.

3. There is no right way to heal:

   Some may fall backwards and some may accelerate; healing is not the same for everyone. When we grieve for example; some people heal rather quickly and are able to get on with things for the moment but after a few months those people may start to feel more pain than they did initially. Some people may grieve for years. There are no step-by-step- lists for healing as people heal in different ways.

4. Be kind to yourself and having compassion for your own journey:

   Do what makes you feel comfortable and happy. If you are healing slowly, be comfortable with that and work from where you are. No one is feeling your personal pain but you and therefore no one has experience in how long it “should” take.

Talking with a professional can help you through a painful time or talk through past painful experiences. Everyone has a different journey and that is a beautiful thing. Healing takes time.

Mental Health is Health - Break the Mental Health Stigma

It is important to be healthy, both mentally and physically. The two intertwine. How can we have a conversation with a colleague, or get a good night’s sleep when we are consumed with worry and thinking of something else.

We get annual checkups for physical health but how can we keep healthy mentally?

1. Take care of your basic needs:

When we feel down sometimes we don’t want to take care of our basic needs. Drinking water, sleeping regularly, and eating healthy are little big things that contribute to our mental health. Not sleeping regularly can affect your irritability and patience.

2. Maintain healthy relationships:

No one feels good when they feel lonely. Listen to others when they are speaking to you and share with them what is going on. Being with friend can increase social activity which can make us feel better about not being alone.

3. Exercising:

Believe it or not, exercising can improve your mental health! Exercise takes your mind away from other things and can allow you to focus on the present moment.

4. Treat your self every now and then:

Even though we may feel bad about buying something or doing something just for ourselves think about how far something small can go. Stop for ice cream on your way home or get a fun face mask, do something for YOU.

5. Practice being in the moment:

When we worry about things that have not happened or have already happened to us we are not able to see what IS happening in front of us. We can lose sight of what is happening in our lives and our hobbies, relationships, and sometimes jobs can be affected. When we are able to see what is happening and understand it we feel less distressed.

6. Journal:

Writing your thoughts and feelings down can help clear your brain of thoughts that can cause fear or sadness. We can make charts and illustrations with color, you can write letters (if you plan on sending them or not), or you can make lists. Having a safe place for your private feelings can give you a sense of safety.

7. Talk with a professional:

We know to go to the hospital for a broken bone, but what about a major worry? Going to see a mental health professional is very similar! Professionals can help figure out what is wrong and help relieve the problem.

Mental health is health. By taking care of your mind, your body will thank you and you will be able to do more of what you love to do. It is a synergistic relationship, with balance we can achieve great things.

Our Therapists Agree, It is Okay to Have "All the feels"

There are many emotions that we experience from day to day; anger, joy, excitement, happiness, guilt, sadness, fear, jealousy and the list goes on. Sometimes our emotions can make us feel overwhelmed and can be hard to understand. Knowing that emotions are normal and healthy can help you in see them in a healthy way.

It is easy to see why it’s important to feel happiness and joy, but why is it healthy to have uncomfortable emotions? What can anger, sadness, or fear do for us? Can our emotions benefit others as well as ourselves?

1. Anger and Sadness-

A lot of times we become angry, but anger comes from being passionate about something. We may honk at a driver that pulled out in front of us but you do so because you are passionate about your safety or the safety of those in your car. There are healthy ways we can cope with and control our anger. We can always talk with a professional or a loved one about things that make us angry. We can also take a step back and think about why this particular thing is making you feel anger. Sadness on the other hand can be harder to control as the things that make us sad at times may or may not be helped. We may not be able to retake a test, or find something that we lost. This propels us to avoid feeling sad in the future for the same reasons. Being sad means you care, just like being angry does.

2. Joy and Happiness-

Conversely, happiness and joy are positive emotions. When we hug someone we love or do well at work we can feel joy and happiness. When we are happy we are more likely to do things like exercise and be with friends and loved ones. We can often share this emotion and others sometimes will join you in feeling happy too.

3. Fear and Worry-

Experiencing fear and anxiety can help us avoid dangerous situations and are healthy and at times positive. You may experience fear before you ride a new roller coaster or you may be worried about a job interview. We can do things to alleviate these worries; prepare for situations in advance and anticipate being nervous. Talking with a professional about your fears can also be helpful in working through them.

All emotions are okay to feel.

Without emotions we would just be a bunch of robots. Understanding that every emotion we have plays an important part of who we are and what we need, is the key to becoming more self aware.

Control Your Negative Thoughts and Reduce Unwanted Anxiety

As we move throughout our day we respond to different things that happen whether they are good or bad. You may get some bad news, or someone may cut you off in traffic and we have the ability to respond with either positive or negative thinking. We can choose to look at situations positively but this can be difficult when situations are problematic or overwhelming. Negative thinking leads to more negative thoughts, which in turn leads to feeling poorly. Telling yourself to “just think of the positives” can seem silly, as we certainly don’t want to think negatively.

So, what can we do to control our negative thoughts and reduce unwanted anxiety?

1. Challenge yourself to focus on what is good:

What are you grateful for in this moment? What about this current problem can be shifted to positive viewpoint? For example, not having a lot of money can cause you to think about the things you do not have but we can challenge ourselves to think of the things we do have.

2. Think of things that make you happy:

Stop and make a mental (or tangible) list of things that make you happy. Carry this around with you, or think of it often as the more often you recognize negative thinking the more awareness you will have.

3. Talk to a loved one or friend:

Sometimes our loved ones know what can make us feel positive even if we don’t feel like we do. Call or text someone you love and tell them to ell you their favorite memory with you, or plan to meet up with them.

4. Take a step back:

When negative thoughts enter your mind you can stop and take a step back. Ask yourself, is there any good in this situation? Even pausing for a moment can give your mind and body more time to respond.

5. Don’t let it affect your self-esteem:

It is easy to see negatives, but far more challenging to see positives. Getting stuck in a line of negative thinking is normal and happens to many of us frequently; be kind to yourself and remember that you have the ability to think positively.

Remember you do control your thoughts. It is a hard concept to understand if you are stuck in your own head. Take a step back and recognize that being self aware can help you overcome any thoughts that are setting you back.

5 Signs of Depression - A Mental Health Perspective

Depression symptoms can hit many of us hard, just like a wave of spring allergies. Depression is typically based on negative thoughts about ourselves that may be surfacing and it feels like these thoughts may have no where to go. It is hard to overcome these thoughts on our own, since they are trapped in our own head.

As we enter into spring and a warmer climate full of new beginnings it may be harder to recognize the symptoms of depression. Depression can present in different ways, but here are five major signs our therapists say can be a feeling of depression:

1. Low energy and fatigue-

Depression is mentally exhausting. Lacking motivation to make a meal or see a friend can be a sign of fatigue.

2. Becoming easily upset-

Profuse crying, angry lash-outs, and feeling the need to off-load your feelings are signs that you may be depressed.

3. No longer interested in things that used to bring joy-

Depression can make doing what you enjoy difficult. Maybe you once enjoyed painting, cooking, playing baseball, but no longer feel joy from it or no longer have an interest in it. We can also lose interest in our partners.

4. Hygiene starting to slip-

Things like brushing teeth, showering, and drinking enough water can become harder to do when we are depressed. Sometimes depression can bring on feelings of worthlessness which makes these tasks even more difficult.

5. Negative thoughts-

When we are depressed sometimes our thoughts can spiral downwards. These thoughts typically can be harsh and reflect poorly of who we are.

There are many symptoms of depression and many types of depression and they can be caused by a multitude of things. Talking with a professional can help you understand your depression and manage it. Depression is treatable and you can overcome these symptoms with the right team!

5 Benefits of Mental Health Therapy

Are you still questioning what therapy can do for you? Therapy is a great place for anyone who needs to learn, find support and guidance. In therapy, your therapist will be your facilitator. You will be encouraged to set goals, understand your emotions, improve your relationships and find new perspectives.

What does therapy offer me that my parents, friends, pets or other loved ones will not?

1. Meeting goals and setting realistic expectations:

• Often when you have your first session, or even throughout your sessions, you will create goals that represent the growth you want to achieve.

• Working with your counselor helps meet these goals. You can discuss over time how you are progressing and make changes when necessary.

• Counselors can also help gauge the scale of your goals and help you understand if they are reasonable.

2. Understand your own emotions: often we become distressed, we may not know why?

• Therapy can help you make sense of and understand your emotions. When you recognize what is happening in your body you can gain more control over your feelings.

• Learn about the chemicals and functions of your brain to help you understand how to create a healthy lifestyle.

• Recognize emotions to manage them.

3. Benefits you and your relationships:

• Therapy can help you learn how to best communicate.

• There are many relationships you may have all with different dynamics. Your relationship with your supervisor at work may be different than your relationship with your best friend but it is equally important to communicate effectively with both.

• Counselors can and will work with you on active listening, stepping back from conflict, setting boundaries, and working with others that do not agree with you. In turn, these skills can help build positive relationships.

4. Provide a safe place to process:

• Many people find comfort and reassurance in speaking with someone with no judgement.

• A counselor is skilled and has attended school to be able to help you, listen, and provide support and being open with your counselor is critical to problem solving

• The counseling room is a safe space to practice what your counselor is teaching you.

5. Find a new perspective:

• When we are in our own head it is hard to see anything past this point.

• We may think we are being logical but our own logic might be illogical.

• Through therapy you can shift your perspective and widen your sense of what is actually logical.

• This can help you regain a better sense of yourself and improve your relationships.

Therapy is a unique place where you go to reset your mind, learn about yourself and grow into the you, that you know you would like to be. The gift of therapy is called insight and no one can take this from you once you have experienced it.

Our Therapists Confirm, Asking for Help is a Sign of Self Awareness

Life is full of unexpected turns and zigzags. Sometimes life presents us with more than we can handle. We start to feel overwhelmed, sad, angry, confused or hurt. Accepting help may make you feel vulnerable, this is absolutely normal. When we open up and face our true feelings, we do become vulnerable. This vulnerability is what can help us heal, grow and show us just how strong we really are. When you ask for help you are able to accomplish more and feel better about yourself. When things start to become too heavy to carry an extra pair of hands can help. How do we know we need help and how do we get that help?

Knowing when to ask for help may be hard to figure out. It all starts with a little bit of insight, awareness and connecting with yourself. In society we are taught to be independent and to do things on our own. What society sometimes forgets is that everyone needs a little help, guidance and empathy.

Some signs you may be overwhelmed and needing more self awareness include:

1. You are easily upset:

   Our emotions are often pushed to their limit when we try and handle too much so the smallest things could cause an emotional response whether it be crying or becoming angry.

2. Forgetting things:

   Forgetting appointments or to call someone back; small things add up and could mean that you are not giving your attention to what needs it. On the other hand when we do recognize when we need help actually accepting it is another hurdle.

3. Feeling run down or empty:

   When we are overwhelmed with negative thoughts or emotions, our tank runs on empty and we begin to feel to feel down. This can cause fatigue and burn out.

4. Being hurtful towards yourself or others:

   As our emotions peak, we may not find relief. Sometimes this can lead towards behaviors that are destructive. We may take things out on ourselves or the people we love the most.

Here are some ways to start finding help, and therapy can be part of that help:

1. Research your options:

   What exactly do you need help with? There are many resources available to you when looking for help.

2. Know you are not alone:

   Sharing your problems and worries with someone else alone helps take the burden off of you.

3. Know others want the best for you:

   Some people may be eager to help because they have your needs in mind. It is okay to set boundaries in this regard.

4. Recognize that asking for help, is a sign of self awareness:

   Society may not recognize that asking for help is a game changer for many of us. Asking for help means we recognize we can not do everything, we need guidance and we are ready to grow.

Asking for help is a great step in feeling supported, loved and connected. When you ask for help, you are asking for empathy and validation. This is a sign of your own inner strength!

10 Keys to A Healthy Friendship - From a Mental Health Counselor

Friendship is an essential part of our lives. Friends can bring the joy, support, and companionship we need to thrive. However, not all friendships are healthy. It is important to recognize which friends are bringing positivity into your life, and focus on building upon those strong foundations, rather than expending energy towards a toxic friendship.

Here are 10 qualities to look for in a great friend:

1. They respect your boundaries

2. They build you up, rather than tear you down

3. They make you laugh

4. They support you during the good and the bad times

5. They are non-judgmental

6. They reciprocate the effort you put into the friendship

7. They are dependable

8. They actively listen to you

9. They love and accept you just the way you are

10. They are loyal and trustworthy

Remember, friendships are a two-way street; these are traits you should also strive to possess in order to be a great friend yourself.

Our Therapists Confirm, Love is Love

Love is love. This is a phrase that is quite self explanatory- love between any two people, regardless of sex, gender, religion, or race is still love. The last generation has paved the way to normalizing and celebrating the LGBTQIA community, and the newest generation is doing their best to continue in the fight for equality. But, regardless of the tireless efforts of normalization the love between ANY individuals, some of us are still in the dark on what LGBTQIA stands for, how to support your friends or family members who are a part of this community, or how to be an ally to those you may not know, but wish to support. Equality starts with conversations, so let’s talk about it. 

What does the LGBTQIA+ acronym stand for?

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Intersex, Asexual. These are just a few words that simply describe the vast spectrum of sexuality that exists within our society and culture. Gender and sexuality both exist on a spectrum and we, as individuals, have the right to decide how we feel, who we feel for, and how we identify ourselves within our own gender. Now, this may be difficult to understand, it may be hard to move on from our standard conceptions of gender roles and standards. 

So, how do you support your friends or family who are part of the LGBTQIA+ community? 

The first thing you could do is be open minded. Just because someone does not feel love or give love the way you do, does not mean it isn’t right for them. Simply due to the lack of support for people in this community, within their families and society, LGBTQ teens are almost three times as likely to contemplate suicide, and five times as likely to attempt suicide, than their heterosexual peers. The Trevor project is a great resource if you're looking to gain insight, understand the statistics, or see how you can help be an ally in your community. See the bottom of this blog for a link to their website!

But that brings up another question, how can you be an ally? What even is an ally?

Ally’s can come in many different forms. Just having a friend within this community is not enough to consider yourself to be a support system for them. Having unconditional positive regard for your friends in this community is. Showing inclusivity but also treating your friends or children the same way you would treat any other person who identified as straight. Ask questions. There is no shame in genuine curiosity. At the end of the day, love is love. So, there is no reason we should treat it differently, simply because it looks different.

Keep up with our Instagram stories this week to ask any questions you may have or to find resources to help be a support system @serenemindcounseling

To check out the Trevor Project, visit their website: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/about/strategic-plan-mission/

5 Keys to a Healthy Relationship - From Our Therapists

Relationships are tricky. There are ups and downs, unforeseen obstacles, and they require both partners to be putting in effort in order to last. While it’s true that every relationship is different, there are practices that can be generally applied to building a healthy relationship.

Here are some key components of a healthy relationship:

1. Communication:

Open and honest communication is arguably the most important part of a healthy relationship. Communication is a two-way street; you and your partner must be able to express thoughts and emotions, but also actively listen to what the other has to say. This will allow you and your partner to be on the same page and know what one another’s expectations are for the relationship. Do not be afraid to have uncomfortable conversations – bottling up your emotions rather than communicating them will hurt your relationship in the long run.

2. Respect:

In a healthy relationship, you and your partner must have mutual respect, even if you don’t always agree with them. Respecting your partner’s beliefs or boundaries means working to understand where they are coming from, and not trying to change them. Always treat your partner how you would want to be treated.

3. Boundaries:

Setting and respecting boundaries is a fundamental part of a healthy relationship. It’s best to clearly establish clear boundaries early on in the relationship.

4. Trust:

Trust is not given automatically; it is something that takes time and effort to build between partners. Show your partner, through both words and actions, that you follow through on commitments and keep your word.

5. Support:

Provide your partner with positivity and encouragement as you support them. The form support takes depends on your partner’s needs. Communication is key in determining how you can best support your partner.

Relationships are hard work. You have to nurture your relationship in order for it to bloom and become the type of relationship you want for yourself.

New Year, Better Me - A Mental Health Perspective

As we enter the new year, many people are setting their New Year’s Resolutions. Setting goals in the spirit of self-improvement and building healthy habits can be a great thing, but only when they are made with reasonable expectations.

Here are some tips for how to set realistic mental health goals for the new year:

1. Start small –

It’s important to set attainable goals to avoid being overwhelmed. Once you have reached a smaller goal, you can set a new one!

2. Be precise –

Be clear and specific in what you want to achieve. This will make it easier to determine the steps to take towards reaching your goals and keep track of your progress.

3. Give yourself plenty of time –

It would be unrealistic to expect a drastic change in your life after only one day. When setting goals, give yourself a reasonable timeline.

4. Strive for progress, not specific outcomes –

Goals do not always need to be met! You can still draw satisfaction from your achievements, regardless of the end-result.

5. Don’t give up –

Changing your habits and trying new things is hard. It’s okay to falter or take a few steps back, but don’t let this dissuade you from continuing to work towards your goals!

New Year’s resolutions do not have to be overwhelming, they can be simple and doable. Try your best, set yourself up for success and when needed ask for help. Goals do not have to be accomplished alone.

12 Holiday Affirmations for Your Mental Health

During this busy time of year, it’s easy to get swept up in holiday plans and focus more on the world around you than yourself. But as always, it is important to make the time to stay present and prioritize self-love. To nurture feelings of gratitude, peace, and cheerfulness during the holidays, practice giving yourself positive affirmations.

Examples of holiday self-love affirmations include:

1. I choose to love and accept myself exactly as I am

2. I deserve happiness and respect

3. I will treat myself with kindness

4. I am strong

5. I am worthy of receiving love from others

6. I am not selfish for setting boundaries

7. I am allowed to eat holiday treats without feeling guilty

8. I am brave

9. I will make the best of the situations I am in

10. I am proud of the person I am today

11. I will look towards the future, rather than dwell on the past

12. I am enough

You can say these affirmations out loud, in your mind, or write them down. You may not believe these affirmations in the moment, but that will change with time and repetition.

The Importance of Holiday Expectations for Your Mental Health

For many people, the holiday season can be a source of stress and other negative emotions. During this time, it’s important to manage your expectations and remember that you only have control over your own thoughts and actions. Going into the holidays with this mindset can help prevent feelings of disappointment.

Here are some other tips for staying in a positive headspace during the holidays:

1. Set realistic expectations.

No holiday is perfect, so be prepared for some bumps along the road.

2. Live in the moment.

Rather than focusing on what may or may not happen in the future, be present in the now.

3. Maintain healthy boundaries.

Check in with yourself and communicate what you need from friends and family going into the holidays.

4. Take care of yourself.

With holiday celebrations, family get-togethers, and end of the year assignments, it’s easy to let your self-care routines fall by the wayside. Be proactive and prioritize your mental and physical well-being in order to stay grounded.

5. Set aside time to de-stress.

It’s okay to feel overwhelmed or disappointed. If this happens, give yourself time to engage in calming and joy-bringing activities, such as going for a walk, reading a book, taking a bubble bath or extra cuddles with your favorite puppy.

Remember the holidays can be a stressful time for many who feel increased pressure during this time of year. You can balance this stress by reducing the expectations you are setting for yourself. After all, the true meaning of the holiday season is sharing love and kindness.

Signs of Seasonal Affective Disorder

Seasonal Affective Disorder, also known as SAD, is a form of depression that presents itself during the change in the seasons; typically, people experience SAD in the fall and winter months. The symptoms of SAD are similar to those of major depression and tend to last about 4-5 months each year.

Signs of Seasonal Affective Disorder include:

- Having low energy

- Experiencing appetite and/or weight changes

- Having trouble sleeping (either too much or not enough)

- Feeling hopeless, depressed, and/or worthless

- Losing motivation for activities you normally enjoy

- Having difficulty concentrating

- Experiencing suicidal thoughts

If you are feeling the symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder, here are a few things to try to improve your mood:

- Expose yourself to light every day to substitute for the lack of sunshine in the winter months. This can be accomplished by:

o Taking a mid-day walk

o Sitting near windows when indoors

o Taking Vitamin D supplements

o Using a “light box” to simulate sunlight for 30 minutes a day, also known as Light Therapy

- Learn how to cope with difficult situations and replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts and actions. This can be accomplished through:

o Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

o Talk Therapy

- Take antidepressants, if needed

Be sure to listen to your mind and body during the next few months and take the necessary steps to take care of yourself. You should not have to “tough it out” or “push through” your feelings; ask for support and seek help when you need it.

The Importance of Gratitude - From Our Therapists

Gratitude is defined as “the quality of being thankful.”

Gratitude is given special attention during this time of year, but it is important to engage in giving thanks year-round. Gratitude helps you appreciate the meaningful people and valuable things in life. Acknowledging these good things, rather than what you may lack, will cultivate a sense of satisfaction in life.

There are many ways in which gratitude positively impact your life – as well as the lives of those around you – including:

1. Improvements in your health.

Physical and mental health are closely intertwined. The emotional benefits you’ll receive from actively practicing gratitude will carry over into improving your physical wellbeing.

2. Strengthening your relationships.

When you recognize, appreciate, and reciprocate the kindness you receive from others, your relationships will blossom!

3. Reductions in anxiety.

Practicing gratitude keeps your focus in the present moment, which prevents you from stressing about the future.

Overall, gratitude is associated with experiencing more positive emotions. To increase your happiness, give thanks consistently, not just during the holiday season!

4 Ways to Set Healthy Family Boundaries - From Our Family Therapists

Thanksgiving is about a week away, which marks the beginning of the holiday season and the inevitable family get-togethers. Being around family is a wonderful way to celebrate, but these reunions can be stressful and dysfunctional without clear-cut boundaries in place.

It is important to take the time to establish and respect boundaries within your family, as this will help build a healthy dynamic.

Here are 4 tips to set healthy family boundaries:

1. Identify and communicate your boundaries in advance.

Be direct and clear when expressing what your boundaries are and why they are important to you. This gives your family time to process this information and better respect your needs.

2. Practice being assertive while also being kind.

If someone oversteps your boundaries, you can firmly remind them of your threshold without being confrontational. Your family is more likely to respect your boundaries when you set them in a friendly way.

3. Take a step back when you need to.

When someone crosses the line, remember you have the option to remove yourself from the situation. If confronting or arguing with them is not going to be constructive, do not be afraid to walk away.

4. In the event your boundaries are not respected, prepare your coping skills in advance.

It is better to think up strategies ahead of time and not need them, then to wish you had them later. Coping strategies include going for a walk, taking deep breaths, playing with your pet, and listening to your favorite music.

When we spend time with our loved ones it is important to prioritize your needs and remember that you matter too!

How to Support Our Veterans

The purpose of Veteran’s Day is to recognize the service of each and every American veteran. Veteran’s Day especially emphasizes honoring and giving thanks to living veterans who served their country. In the spirit of commemorating veterans, it is important to acknowledge the trauma and subsequent mental health challenges many of them experience and learn how best to support these veterans.

Here are a few ways you can help support veterans:

1. Educate yourself.

One of the best ways you can support veterans is to learn about the mental illnesses they may be experiencing. This allows you to better understand what they are going through and be compassionate. Common mental health challenges include Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Depression, Anxiety, and Traumatic Brain Injury.

2. De-stigmatize mental illness.

Many members of the military do not seek mental health treatment due to stigmas; these stigmas include the view that veterans with mental illnesses are “weak.” Dismissing these hurtful viewpoints and promoting recovery for veterans can increase their comfort level with seeking help.

3. Assist available resources.

There are many organizations that were created to support veterans and provide mental health care. Volunteering with these organizations and/or raising awareness of their existence is a great way to support the health and wellbeing of veterans. Here is a great list of just some resources, https://www.vehiclesforveterans.org/free-mental-health-resources-for-veterans/

Remember, supporting for our veterans and advocating for mental health care should be a priority every day, not just on Veteran’s Day.

It is Cool to Be kind - From a Mental Health Perspective

November is upon us, and it’s finally starting to feel like fall. In many ways, this is a good thing; the air is cooling down, pumpkin spice is everywhere, and Thanksgiving is only weeks away. However, this also means the days are starting to get shorter, which can negatively impact mental health.

During this season it is especially important to be kind to yourself and others, as both those who give and receive acts of kindness experience improvements in mental health. There are so many ways we can be kind to one another, it’s impossible to list them all.

So, to keep it simple, here are 4 ways to be kind:

1. Express appreciation!

Saying “thank you” can go a long way. Acknowledging and valuing peoples’ effort always makes them feel good.

2. Offer help!

Whether it be giving advice to a friend or assisting a coworker with a difficult task, extending support to others will ease their burden. Being kind through both your actions and words really shows how much you care.

3. Practice small acts of kindness!

These include: holding the door for the person behind you, genuinely asking service workers “how are you?”, letting the person with fewer items cut in front of you at the grocery store, and so many more! While these might not seem like a big deal, they can make someone’s day.

4. Be compassionate!

We’re all human, which means nobody is perfect. Make the effort to treat yourself and others with patience, understanding, and empathy.

Kindness can go a long way. We do not realize how much treating people with empathy, compassion and love can really just let someone feel valued. Remember that you are amazing and we are thankful for you!

Therapists Share 5 Reasons to Embrace Your Fear

Fear is often portrayed in a negative light - as something we need to “defeat.” While it is important to not let fear prevent you from living your life, it is still okay to feel afraid. Fear helps us. It is an important emotion to have. Many of us feel afraid when we are in a situation where we do not yet trust or feel safe. Listening to how we feel in situations can help us learn to trust , connect with others and feel grounded.

Here are 5 ways that fear can be embraced, just remember:

1. Fear is a normal emotion, therefore being afraid is nothing to be embarrassed about.

Experiencing anxiety or fear does not make you weak. It makes you human.

2. Avoiding or denying your fear only allows it to grow.

It is better to acknowledge, embrace, and process your fear than attempt to suppress it.

3. Experiencing fear can be a sign you are stepping out of your comfort zone.

Trying new things can be scary but facing your fears will lead to personal growth.

4. Fear provides a sense of prospective.

In order to fully appreciate the feeling of calmness, you must also know what it is like to feel afraid.

5. You do not always have to “overcome” your fear, as it can protect you.

Sometimes feeling afraid is a warning sign that you should avoid something that could be emotionally triggering or physically dangerous.

Fear is a healthy emotion. Without fear most of us would be in threatening situations or living our life on the edge everyday. A helpful amount of fear is appropriate and well needed to feel balanced.