3 Ways to Teach Your Teen How to be Confident

As parents, we strive to cultivate a life for our child or teen that prepares them for life on their own in the future. Bolstering your teen’s confidence is an imperative piece to preparing them to be adults that live a happy and healthy life as a contributor to society. Building self-esteem and confidence is an integral part of the process of growing up, especially during the teenage years. You can contribute to enhancing the confidence of your teen- in easy ways!

How can I teach my teen to be more confident?

1) Encourage teens to make decisions on their own.

Often times, teens look to their parents for assurance and acceptance in their decision making. Encourage your teen to weigh out the pros and cons in their choices. Acknowledge that your teen’s choices have a subsequent consequence- whether positive or negative. As much as you may want to sway your teen to a decision, try to detach yourself from their decision making and the possible outcomes. By practicing this, your teen will build trust, social and life skills. Your teen will start to trust themselves and feel confident in decision making.

2) Encourage your teen to branch out, independently.

Routines and patterns help kids and teens (and adults) feel safe. Encouraging your teen to take chances and to try new things will help your teen feel confident in new situations and environments that they may (and will!) encounter when they are adults. Encouraging them to try new clubs, sports, activities, or even participate in different social groups can help your teen feel more comfortable in socializing and conducting themselves in new and different spaces.

3) Praise, Accept, Encourage your teen.

Most kids and teens look to their parents to evaluate their self-worth. Praise your children or teens on their accomplishments, big or small. Encourage your teen when they are struggling. Accept your teen for who they are. Try to avoid projecting your goals and values onto your children or teen and encourage them to formulate these views on their own. This doesn’t mean you can’t offer your input or opinion- but do so with their consent. Unsolicited advice from parents can feel discouraging and off- putting and can lead to teens second guessing their views and decisions. Parental support is paramount for creating a positive self- image for both kids and teens. If we teach our children and teens that they are loveable and worthy, they will believe it too.

Is your teen needing a boost in their confidence skills? We offer teen counseling and rolling groups for teens that focus on many areas of life during the teenage years. Wanting to deepen the connection between you and your teen? We also offer family therapy. Email us at hello@serenemindpsych.com or call us at 813.321.8280 for more info.

4 Ways to Reduce Your Back to School Stress - From Our Therapists

School coming to a start can add pressure for everyone. It is important to take the time to focus on ways to make the transition as smooth as possible. Having a plan on how to tackle the new school year is important.

Here are 4 ways you can make sure this school year is smooth.

1. Create a routine - Did you know that predictability sends soothing messages to the brains of those that struggle with stress? Setting up a routine such as a regular bedtime, a daily gym session, or even a music playlist or audiobook that you listen to on the drive to/from school can help you solidify a routine. Something that will allow your brain to not be so stressed throughout the day.

2. Communication is key - When it comes to children, if you as a parent have changes in plans you should communicate that to your child as soon as possible. A child can become very stressed and anxious if they are unsure of how they’re getting home or where they are going. If they are caught up in the mix of complicated changes, it ends up being very difficult to focus on their learning.

3. Connect through questions - Go ahead and try connecting with your child through questions such as how their day went, who they sat next to at lunch, if anything funny or exciting happened throughout the day. You can even chime in with your own experiences when you were going to school and what caused you a lot of stress and anxiety. With that, you can end up asking them if there is anything that may be causing them a bit of anxiety with school.

4. Listen - Our natural tendency when we hear that someone is stressed is to try and fix it. However, when we go ahead and try to do that, we end up invalidating the other person's feelings and in turn not really helping them at all. Instead of trying to fix whatever it is that has them stressed. Try asking questions such as “How can I support you right now” or “Would you like to talk about what’s currently bothering you?” Once you listen to them, if you have a thought that you feel may be helpful, go ahead and ask them if it’s okay for you to share it.

As we all transition back to school, remember to take care of yourself too. The best support a child can have is an adult who is taking care of their own well being and mental health too!

Summer is for Mental Health Days

Even during the summer we need a few things to help us disconnect from the hustle and bustle of work, meetings, summer classes and more. Summer is a calmer pace and taking it easy can help you boost your energy.

Since summer is practically around the corner, here are five things that could help you boost your mental health this summer:

1. Go outside -

Many studies have shown that stress is relieved within minutes of going outside. When time is spent in green spaces such as parks, grassy fields, or even a trail your cortisol levels drop. Cortisol is known as the stress hormone so reducing this can definitely improve your mental health. Nature also boosts endorphin levels and dopamine production which in turn promotes happiness!

2. Be active -

Exercise in any form can help to decrease anxiety, depression, and negative mood by improving self-esteem and cognitive function. It helps to improve our cardiovascular and overall physical health and even helps to reduce skeletal muscle tension which in turn allows you to feel more relaxed.

3. Stay hydrated -

Being dehydrated can lead to fatigue, mood swings and difficulty concentrating. Make sure to hydrate with electrolyte drinks to boost your energy and keep you going. Drinking water is good but you have to replenish what you loose.

4. Meditate -

Having time and space to clear your mind can help you feel more grounded and connected. Make time to meditate. Even 5 or 10 minutes can help you gain clarity and peace.

5. Start a new hobby you’ve always wanted to try! -

We all have a lot of things that we want to do but constantly put off. Since summer is around the corner, this means that it is the absolute perfect time to try that one thing you’ve always wanted to do. There is no better way to relax than to do something you truly enjoy. Doing something you enjoy and trying something new is definitely a way to boost your mental health this summer.

It is summer time and this is the best time to start a mental health routine. Making your mental health a priority now can help you keep going for the busy fall to come. What are you waiting for?

How is your teens self esteem?

As parents most of you believe you are in touch with your teen and would be able to tell if there was a problem growing at school or at home. One of the easiest ways to be aware about how your teen is feeling is to pay attention to how self confident they are feeling or acting.  Is your teen isolated, have little to no friends, are they talkative, are they moody or do you simply not know any of these answers? 

If you are unsure of your teen's self esteem level, here are some steps you can take to learn about their self confidence: 

1. Keep an open dialect: Ask, listen and summarize when you have conversations. This will help establish trust and keep your relationship growing. If they are answering poorly or barely answering, they may be hiding their low self esteem. If they are talking to you, you can learn about their self esteem just by listening.  

2. Meet their friends: They spend about half their time at school with their friends. Ask them to invite friends over, meet their friends and get to know them. Learn what their hobbies and interests are. Are your teens friends involve din drug use or sexual activity? If yes, this can be a sign of low self esteem. Judge as a parent how your teen is choosing friends and if they are genuine. 

3. Be observant: Look for signs of unhappiness, worry, sadness or anger. Mood swings to a certain extent are common in teens but if it is prolonged or excessive this can be a sign of anxiety or depression. 

Use the above steps to recognize your teens self esteem. Repeat the steps until you see that your teen is confident, if you see warning signs that your teen has low self esteem do not feel frustrated. Pick up the phone and do not hesitate to contact a professional! 

Our Therapists Share 3 Steps to Communicate with Your Tween or Teen

One of the most basic steps we work on as a family in therapy is communication. The benefits of being able to talk and grow as a family serve as a model for future relationships. By modeling communication skills parents can teach children and teens how to talk about feelings, opinions and more personal topics. 

1. Listen: Learning to listen is difficult for most people. We tend to assume we know what the other person is going to say and we jump to conclusions in our head. Learning to be present oriented and just simply listen is a skill that will take practice. 

2. Be positive: Do not attack, yell or lose your temper. This will get you nowhere fast. Talk calmly, with positive words and do not lose your temper. This will make your child or teen more responsive and help motivate them to listen to you. 

3. Do not try and solve: Many parents want to tell their children or teens what to do. This is a strategy that is bound to fail. Think about it, do you like being told what to do? They don't either! Try to not solve problems but learn to understand what your child or teen is saying (unless it is an emergency.) 

Please use the steps above to create a loving home with respect and positive communication. This will encourage your child or teen to want to talk to you about more personal topics.