5 Ways to Parent Like a Pro

Parenting like a pro involves continuously learning, adapting, and prioritizing the well-being and development of your children. Our kids and teens really do need all our love and care. Of course it is hard to remember this among moments of stress and frustration. Times with our kids is very valuable and they learn everything from us.

Here are 5 tips to help you become a more effective and nurturing parent:

1. Be Present and Engaged:

   Spend quality time with your children and be fully present during interactions. Engage in activities that interest them and show genuine interest in their lives. Having fun with your child or teen can set them up for success, not to mention boost their confidence as well.

2. Set Clear Boundaries and Expectations:

   Establish consistent rules and expectations, and communicate them clearly to your children. Consistency helps children feel secure and understand what is expected of them. Kids and teens thrive from consistent and similar expectations. Remember they are learning if the world is safe and this is a keep indicator in regard to safety.

3. Practice Positive Discipline:

   Focus on positive reinforcement and constructive discipline rather than harsh punishments. Encourage good behavior with praise and rewards, and use consequences that teach valuable lessons. Try to redirect and avoid meltdowns as much as possible. Although, if a meltdown does happen be prepared to listen, validate and not fuel the situation.

4. Listen Actively:

   Practice active listening when your child wants to share something with you. Show empathy and validate their feelings, even if you might not agree with them. Kids and teens love validation and empathy. This helps them feel connected and also helps them learn that you are a safe person to go to in case of any dangers presented to them.

5. Be a Role Model:

   Children often learn by observing their parents' behavior. Be a positive role model by demonstrating the values and behaviors you want to instill in them. Our kids and teens need great people in their lives. The great thing is you can be one of these people. Teach them things that you wish you had learned and always be the person you needed at their age.

Being a parent is no easy gig. Everyday is full of new challenges and curve balls. You really have to remember you are doing the best you can with what you have.

Do you feel that you need more parenting support? Our Parenting Group is coming to you this September. It will be online for a total of 8 weeks. Pre-register now by emailing hello@serenemindpsych.com

3 Ways to Build Connections with Your Teen

Teens are a unique group of people and they wanted to be treated as such. It can be difficult to connect with your children once they reach adolescence. They naturally crave more independence and want to find an identity outside of their parents; with that, teens are feeling bigger emotions that can cause them to be more distant, agitated, or isolated. All of this is normal but finding reconnection with them through one of the most developmental times in their life can be pivotal in their development as a person. Ideally, we want our children to come to us with any questions, concerns, or thoughts they can’t fully understand on their own and be a safe space for them.

Here are some ways you can help reconnect and build a better relationship with your teens:

1.Open Up About Yourself

Your teen wants to know about you. How much did you really know about your parents as a teen? How much of that information did you get from them or was it from family members and their friends? It can be a very connecting experience to talk to your kids about who you are outside of “mom” or “dad”. Talk about experiences from high school, college, and early adulthood; things they can relate to or might be going through currently. Once we can humanize ourselves to our children and see each other as real people and not just an authority figure over them, you can connect on a deeper level.

2. Find a hobby you both like

Bonding over a like interest is a great way to encourage communication and connection. Whether it is something you both choose or something they already like that you might too, finding hobbies is a great way to connect with anyone in your life. Though teens might act like they are disinterested by everything, they’re not. It’s just a matter of finding the right activity they enjoy and are willing to do with you. Having a hobby, you do with them even just once a month can be a great time to connect and build trust in one another.

3. Knowing How to Handle Our Emotions

We model our behavior to our teens and they learn from us. Inevitably, teens will mess up; how we handle those mess ups can be detrimental in how teens will manage them later. Are we meeting them with shame and hostility? Or are we meeting them with empathy and compassion? If your emotions are always all over the place and anger is your first response to mess ups, it probably won’t be anything new for your teen. Screaming and yelling likely won’t get the desired effects we are looking for but only make teens retreat and hide things later.

Emotional dysregulation often comes from a place of anxiety. If we can get our general daily anxieties under control through things like selfcare, therapy, or medication, if necessary, we can manage our life stressors with better coping skills and compassion. This will all help how we react to our teens mess ups and impact when and how the tell us they messed up or are thinking of doing something you might disapprove of.

It is a process to rebuild connection with teens and these things do not happen overnight. Don’t be discouraged if they aren’t receptive at first, just keep trying! It will become easier over time. Connections and meaningful relationships take months to develop and consistency is key.

Do you or your teen struggle to connect with each other? Have you thought about teen counseling, counseling for yourself or family therapy? We can help in all these therapy realms. Our therapists would love to support you.

Parents We Can Teach Our Kids to Say No to Bullies

Tis' the season of back to school shopping, open houses and new class schedules. This time of year many teens can be anxiously awaiting the new school year. For many teens this is a positive nervous, excited feeling of the first day of school. But for some it can be very stressful, nerve wrecking and even depressing. 

The topic of bullies is one that never grows old. Bullies can be found in all schools, all grades and in all cities. The population of teens that are in middle school who are bullied is ever growing. Many parents and teens are afraid, worried and simply do not know what to do. Teach your kids how to say no. 

For starters, bullies are insecure, lonely, angry and fearful. They pick on kids and teens who are quiet, shy and mostly introverted. Bullies want to feel powerful and they believe they will gain this by controlling the emotions of another. But they could not be more wrong. 

Kids and teens who are bullied are actually strong, have their own mindset and independence. They have to be reminded that they are powerful and can stand up for what they believe in. Standing up as a teen is not always easy, but is possible. Empowering a teen who has been bullied is a step in the right direction. 

As parents, please take the time this school year to talk to your children about bullies. Your child or teen may not have the courage to approach the topic, but it is of upmost importance. Bullying is a serious offense and thus it should be treated as such. Talk to your kids about standing up for what they believe in and about saying no in difficult situations. The more they practice and role play the easier it will be, if they are confronted by a bully.