Body Positivity Summer - A Mental Health Counselor Perspective

It is summer time and summers here in Florida is HOT. They often come with a few hurricanes or tropical storms sprinkled in, so we just want to check in and make sure you're staying safe. 

And as much as we care about your physical well-being, we care about your mental well-being, too. If you’ve been following up along on our instagram, you would see that we are focusing on body positivity and an optimistic mindset. Now, these topics seem great and easy in theory but are often difficult to navigate in our own lives. 

Social media is a huge proponent of social interaction within our generation and this makes the realistic beauty standard feel so high. There are also a variety of other reasons that teens and young adults may struggle with body image while bathing suit season is upon us. According to Mayo Clinic, the most common reasons for low self-esteem are...

• Natural or expected weight gain and other changes caused by puberty

• Peer pressure to look a certain way

• Social media and other media images that promote the ideal body as fit, thin or muscular and encourage users to aspire to unrealistic or unattainable body ideals

• Having a parent who's overly concerned about his or her own weight or his or her child's weight or appearance

• Seeing material in which a teen is seen as a thing for others' sexual use, rather than an independent, thinking person (sexual objectification)

Not only are our bodies supposed to change, mature, and grow, it is healthy for us to do so. Society and generational standards teach us that our bodies should stay the same as it does in high school, forever. This is simply untrue and unrealistic. Men and women alike go through huge changes in their teens and twenties that affect their hormones, their body fat composition, and the obvious appearance changes due to the addition of a baby, in some cases (yes, this affects men’s bodies, too).  

Parental influence also plays a large role in self-confidence and body image. Making sure that the message that is sent to your teens is realistic, accepting, and attainable is so important in creating well-rounded adults with the confidence to make healthy choices on their own. 

These risk factors can create many problems in teens and adolescents that can transpire in their adult lives. Some common effects of poor body image are: 

• Low self-esteem

• Depression

• Nutrition and growth issues

• Eating disorders

• Having a body mass index of 30 or higher (obesity)

It is important to be building the skills necessary to create a body positive environment for yourself, and those around you, to avoid the potentially harmful effects of poor body image. According to the Mayo Clinic, some of the best ways to provide a healthy and safe environment for your child or teen, or even for yourself, is to…

• Set a good example.

  How you accept your body and talk about others' bodies can have a major impact on you and those around you. Remind yourself that you exercise and eat a balanced diet for your health, not just to look a certain way. Also think about what you read and watch as well as the products you buy and the message those choices send.

• Use positive language.

  Rather than talking about physical attributes of yourself or others, praise personal characteristics such as strength, persistence and kindness. Avoid pointing out negative physical attributes in others or yourself. Don't make or allow hurtful nicknames, comments or jokes based on a person's physical characteristics, weight or body shape. It’s just mean. 

• Talk about media messages.

  Social media, movies, television shows and magazines might send the message that only a certain body type or skin color is acceptable and that maintaining an attractive appearance is the most important goal. Even media that encourages being healthy, athletic or fit might depict a narrow body ideal — one that's toned and skinny. Social media and magazine images are also commonly altered. Pay attention to what you are reading, scrolling through or watching and question what you see or hear. Let’s be realistic. 

• Counter negative media messages.

  Expose yourself to individuals who are famous for their achievements — not their appearance. For example, read books or watch movies about inspiring people and their perseverance to overcome challenges.

• Praise achievements.

  Value what you do, rather than what you look like. Look for opportunities to praise effort, skills and achievements in those around you to continue maintaining an overall body positive environment.

• Encourage positive friendships.

  Friends who accept and support you can be a healthy influence. In particular, friends who have healthy relationships with their own bodies can be a positive influence on you too. Find those friends, and do your best to be that friend, for those around you. 

Remember that all bodies are summer bodies, you are allowed to be the person you want to be and love your body for what it is, and you can choose to feel comfortable, just the way you are.

For more information and tips on creating a safe body positive environments for teens, and check our sources, check out this link: https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/tween-and-teen-health/in-depth/healthy-body-image/art-20044668

How to Start Becoming an LGBTQIA+ Ally

With Pride month upon us, as an individual not part of the LGBTQIA+ community, this month may be a little confusing for you. There are a plethora of flags, acronyms, and colors that make it a little difficult to be a competent ally. So, if there is someone in your life who is part of this community, and you are ready and willing to make some changes, stick around for a monthly guide to understanding your loved one. 

First off, let’s talk about personal gender pronouns. 

He/him and she/her are going to be the most common, you have probably grown up hearing them and do not need further clarification. But, for non-binary individuals, they may prefer gender neutral pronouns. 

Some examples of gender neutral pronouns can be as follows: 

• They/them/theirs (Spencer ate their food because they were hungry.) This is a pretty common gender-neutral pronoun and it can be used in the singular.

• Ze/hir/hir (Logan ate hir food because ze was hungry.) Ze is pronounced like “zee” can also be spelled zie or xe, and replaces she/he/they. Hir is pronounced like “here” and replaces her/hers/him/his/they/theirs.

• Just my name please! (Taylor ate Taylor’s food because Taylor was hungry) Some people prefer not to use pronouns at all, using their name as a pronoun instead.

Never refer to a person as “it” or “he-she”. These are offensive slurs used against trans and gender non-conforming individuals. Non-binary individuals are not always transgender or intersex, they do not feel as though the fit the typical role of man or woman in society. 

Transgender and Intersex people may be more difficult to conceptualize. Transgender individuals are those that identify with a gender other than theit sex at birth. Transgender individuals can be non-binary but often prefer a gender, relating most to either male or female. 

Intersex individuals are those born with any of several variations in sex characteristics including chromosomes, gonads, sex hormones or genitals that "do not fit the typical definitions for male or female bodies". Though this may seem strange, but being born intersex is just as common as being born with red hair, about 1-2 people out of every 100 people born. Typically intersex individuals do not know they are intersex until they hit puberty and this can lead to some kind of identity crisis, as you can imagine. This is not something we learn about in school and oftentimes we do not know, that is why it is so important to talk about it, and educate our peers to make sure everyone feels included. Similar to Transgender individuals, intersex individuals can be non-binary but often prefer a gender, relating most to either male or female, most continuing to idenitfy with their assigned gender at birth. 

So, you may be wondering, what is a non-binary person? 

Being non-binary is an umbrella term for the idea that that particular individual does not feel they can identify with the identities of being male or female- they reside outside the gender binary.

This concept may be confusing but it really just means that a person does not feel like a woman or a man… they just feel like a person… and though you may not understand why, that feeling is valid. 

Teen Vouge wrote a piece on the things people get wrong about being non-binary. You can read the entire article at this link: https://www.teenvogue.com/story/9-things-people-get-wrong-about-being-non-binary 

Our Therapists Know Infertility Is Isolating, You are Not Alone

Wanting to be a parent and not being able to is one of the most challenging emotions we can experience as a person. The longing to have a baby is made much harder during the month of May. This is a month dedicated to moms everywhere, and it just adds to the reminder of something we can not yet have.

These circumstances are all challenging. To be consistently longing for something that feels unattainable is exhausting and takes energy and anguish. On top of that, you have family members, friends, and neighbors asking questions about your lack of children or timing or your life. They all seem to be saying the wrong things and you’re not sure why they just don’t understand. 

You are not alone. 1 in 8 women struggle with infertility.

How can these conversations get easier? Myths and stigma can be reasons why individuals still struggle with the idea of infertility.

According to the National Association of Infertility, here are some common examples:

Myth: Infertility is a women’s problem.

Truth: This is untrue. It surprises most people to learn that infertility is a female problem in 35% of the cases, a male problem in 35% of the cases, a combined problem of the couple in 20% of cases, and unexplained in 10% of cases. It is essential that both the man and the woman be evaluated during an infertility work-up.

Myth: Don’t worry so much — it just takes time. You’ll get pregnant if you’re just patient.

Truth: Infertility is a medical problem that may be treated. At least 50% of those who complete an infertility evaluation will respond to treatment with a successful pregnancy. Some infertility problems respond with higher or lower success rates. Those who do not seek help have a “spontaneous cure rate” of about 5% after a year of infertility.

Myth: Why don’t you just forget it and adopt? After all, there are so many babies out there who need homes!

Truth: For many, adoption is a happy resolution to infertility. However, most people explore medical treatment for infertility prior to considering adoption. In addition, traditional adoption options have changed, and adoption can be more costly and time-consuming than expected. It is, however, still possible to adopt the healthy baby of your dreams. There are also many older children and children with special needs available for adoption.

Myth: Maybe you two are doing something wrong!

Truth: Infertility is medical and not do to sexual dysfunction.

So, now that we have covered some common misconceptions and myths, we can tackle how to handle the situation when someone you know is struggling with this.

Some important takeaways to be more aware and empathetic of while discussing someone’s infertility can be as follows: 

Do not minimize their emotions and struggle.

Ways people often minimize the struggles that a woman dealing with infertility may face would be telling them to relax, complaining over your struggles as a parent like sleep deprivation and busy schedules, expressing that there are “worse things that could happen,” or being crude and offering up inappropriate opinions to a person who is vulnerable. Though you may make these comments trying to sympathize or provide support, they are often not received with that same intent. 

Support their decision to stop treatment. 

Fertility treatment is difficult and time consuming. No one is going to continue doing it forever. It is likely that the couple’s decision to stop was hard enough as it is, it would not be helpful for them to feel judged or pressured in the process. This often leads down the path of adoption. Do not discourage them from adopting but on this same end, do not pressure them toward adoption. Ultimately, the way they wish to pursue their future family does not have much to do with you, and does have everything to do with them- let them make choices on their own. 

And finally, remember them on Mother’s day. 

On Mother’s Day we are often bombarded with a barrage of images, videos, cards, commercials, and gifts all dedicated toward mothers. Though we should not ignore the responsibilities and pressures a mother faces, it is a painful time for those who cannot become mothers. No matter if including them means sending them a card to let them know you are thinking of them or stopping by to be a support system, they will appreciate not being forgotten. 

Source and for more information, please read more at: https://resolve.org/support/for-friends-and-family/

Good Bye Mom Guilt - Hello Mental Health

Having the job of a mom, mommy or mama comes with many mixed emotions and responsibility. Your cute kiddies can bring you lots of love, connection and joy. We all know moms always try to put their kids before themselves.

Does having kids and being a mom mean all of your wants and needs are no longer important?

We often find, in all moms- new and experienced- we carry a LOT of responsibilities. These responsibilities can come with moments that make us feel lonely, isolated or that we are simply not doing enough. 

It can become natural for mothers to fall into a cycle of carrying the weight of what feels like the world on their shoulders and neglecting themselves in the process. It is also common for moms to question their ability to be a good mother. We have all heard those intrusive thoughts, just constantly asking yourself if you are doing it all wrong? Does that seem familiar? 

Mom guilt is that feeling.

The feelings of anxiousness, doubt, or worry that you may be falling short of your expectations in some way. The symptoms of mom guilt can be extensive, last for a long time, and can be intense and intrusive in nature. Sometimes you may even feel like nothing you do is right and you may discount your accomplishments.

This leads you to believe that you cannot do anything right and then this is where we struggle. No one is perfect and therefore, we cannot expect every mom to be either. You will make mistakes, you may not succeed in everything you try to accomplish, but this I know, your kids love you. Even when you feel like you may be falling short, kids are resilient and are often able to work through their problems with the help of empathy and mutual respect. 

So, what does that mean for you, as a mom?

You may not feel like you’re being a perfect mom. The reality is, you’re probably not. Mom imperfections are NORMAL. I do not know a single person who can complete multiple jobs and balance multiple tasks, all while making zero mistakes… Do you? 

Your perception of what a “good mom” or a “perfect mom” is, comes from a thought usually not created by you. It is a construct that you have been passed down by society, your mother, your husband, or maybe even the book we read to better prepare ourselves for motherhood. The fault here is that mothers do not need to be perfect. In fact, they need to be imperfect.

Responding to your mistakes, repairing things that you have broken, and addressing your flaws as a human can also aid in building your child's ability to overcome obstacles and tackle tricky interpersonal situations. 

Your child’s psychosocial health actually benefits from your imperfections. If you were perfect, your child would not have the opportunity to learn how to learn from mistakes, apologize, forgive, love, or be HUMAN. 

So, here is your reminder: You are doing great, even when you feel that you are not doing your best. 

Hello May, We Are Here for Mental Health Awareness Month

The first week of May is considered National Screen-free week.

This is an initiative to reduce our screen time and get outside. Being outside has a ton of health benefits from decreasing depression to increasing cognitive functioning. But, with the infamous year of 2020, screen time is now simply inevitable. 

Social media has become our source of social interaction and support. Zoom and Microsoft teams have been the new source for education. Doxy.me has become our healthcare provider. We can grocery shop from our phone. Children now chat with their friends in virtual hang-outs through video games like Roblocks and Among us. Screen time is inevitable and there is no reason for us to hold ourselves to this impossible expectation of unplugging completely.

Let’s try to be realistic and do our best to unplug when we can, but appreciate our new ability to plug in when we need to. 

May is mental health awareness month!

This is a month that is close to our heart. Mental health diagnoses are often suffered silently. The stigma around mental health is slowly dying down but is not gone by any means. The generations before us made talking about mental health extremely difficult, adding labels and subconscious judgement to mental illness.

This month is a time to reflect on the fact that approximately 1 in 5 of us will be diagnosed with a mental health disorder in our lifetime… and that is OKAY!

The new generation is breaking glass ceilings and tearing down walls of stigma to prioritize mental health as an important factor in our overall well being.

We like to consider therapy to be just as important as working out in the gym (except you are working out your brain). Before you begin a workout journey, you are going to need to understand the skills, the safety, and your starting point for reference. Those same rules and concepts can apply to therapy: we can equip you with the skills and tools you will need, so you can then succeed without us! 

Finally, May is for all the Moms!

With Mother’s day rounding the corner, we can take some time this month to dedicate ourselves to showing appreciation for all the moms out there. This month we will talk about mom guilt- what that may look like and how to overcome it, the imperfections of motherhood, and moms that may not be having the easiest journey to motherhood, whether that be IVF, fostering, or adoption. Modern medicine has given us the ability to combat infertility, though that does not make the journey any easier for those who are struggling with it.

Motherhood can be both exciting and terrifying, as there is so much unknown that comes with it. Taking the time to appreciate women for making the ultimate sacrifice to their bodies, minds, and social life, is simply the least we can do. 

We also want to acknowledge the moms who have lost babies, too. Whether it be before or after they were born, we want you to remind yourself that you matter. You are worthy of love and respect. You are still a mother. 

Healthy + Safe Mindfulness Spaces to Recharge Your Mind

As we talk about ditching ineffective work out habits and mindfulness tactics to replace them with more energizing and fulfilling routines, creating healthy spaces plays a role here.

If there is no place you feel safe, how could you possibly participate in a meaningful meditation and mindfulness practice? If you do not feel safe, how can you feel comfortable to wear what you want and avoid falling prey to those intrusive thoughts regarding the judgement of others? 

We can create a safe space for ourselves by following these 4 simple steps:  

1. Finding any space where you feel comfortable. 

This may sound easy but I really want you to think here. When you are sad or upset, where do you go? Probably your bed, maybe you go on a drive, or you might even drown your sorrows in music or video games. You may feel comfortable in these places, but it’s also obvious that you also feel sad there. It is possible you are tying this space to a negative emotion, making it difficult to feel joy or happiness here. 

You can avoid this by going out of your comfort zone and finding a new place outdoors. Another option to find a comfortable place would be to reorganize an existing place in your room or home to omit positive vibes and a calming presence. 

2. Make a space your own

My favorite way to do this is to start by thinking of a color that makes me happy. For example, I love shades and hues of blue. Try to incorporate as many or as little objects as you feel comfortable. Do not let this space be determined by the home aesthetic, but instead by what moves you to find inner calm and seek happiness.

You may also want this space to be inaccessible to others, meaning it may be nice to have a door or barrier of some kind to give you the privacy that you may need in times of discontent.

3. Scheduling time to be present in this space

We have all been in a position where we SWEAR we are going to dedicate time to our passion but oftentimes fallen short. The idea of adding space to your calendar to designate specifically for you can help hold you accountable and provide you the relief from self-guilt. You deserve time to yourself, even if you have to set an alarm to take it. 

Scheduling a time to spend in a safe space can also be a cool trick to managing anxiety symptoms. Pick a time of the day, maybe an hour or maybe 5 minutes, where you can expect to be entirely free. Make this time your designated stress time, sad time, anxious time, happy time, or whatever other emotion you feel you must plan time around. When 10am rolls around and you are presented with a reason to stress, you can remind yourself, it is not your time and you can stress about that later.  This often leads to you either forgetting the stressful event, or decreasing the intensity of the stress by allowing time to pass before tackling it. 

4. Creating a routine

You did it, you found the space, you made it safe and secluded, it is all yours, you scheduled the time and it is working: Let’s make it a habit! Going back to this space to reflect on your week can create a healthy habit of initiating your own happiness. Acknowledge this time as a priority and allow yourself to grow in your ability to find gratitude and comfort in the small moments.

Now enjoy your space to rest, relax and restore.

Mindfulness for Everybody - A Therapy Approach

Participating in “Mindfulness” is probably something the internet has told you to do a thousand times.

But, it is often hard to participate when we either don’t understand or don’t know how. So, what exactly is it?

The answer to that question can come in many forms. Being mindful about a situation is the process of entering the state of consciousness or awareness of something. Learning to be mindful means we can first focus on that awareness and direct it toward our present moment and simultaneously acknowledge and accept one’s own thoughts and feelings in a therapeutic way. 

Mindfulness comes in many forms the most common one being meditation.

The misconception of meditation is that it has to be something you do alone, in a quiet place, where you have to be still and have zero thoughts. I don't know about you but that just may not be an option.

The good news is, there are so many other options for us to utilize being mindful without the absence of all internal thought. 

Movement meditation is the first idea that may come to mind. Understanding our bodies' physical limitations can help us determine our mental limitations as well. This can look like yoga, running, mindful walking, or even dancing. Anything that allows us to be in the present moment, giving our bodies’ the love, appreciation, and attention it needs, can be a form of meditation. 

Mindfulness meditation is the form of meditation mentioned above. You can use this by finding a place where you can remain sitting, alone, in a quiet place, listening to your breath and pushing away intrusive thoughts. Mindfulness meditation will take hours of practice and you may not be able to do this on your first try. Being forgiving toward your thoughts and being patient with yourself are going to be common themes while practicing this type of meditation. 

Guided meditation may be a better fit for you if mindful meditation sounds too difficult or daunting. This type of meditation takes some of the pressure off of you, allowing you to relax and find peace and calm within someone else’s words or guidance. These practices can be short or long, they can aid in sleep, self-esteem, or even alertness for the day ahead. 

Visualization is the process of picturing your thoughts and intentions under a positive light in your mind's eye. Visualization can help you project the things you want to accomplish into the universe, similar to an affirmation. Sometimes, taking the time to visualize a phrase, goal, or intention can help you identify the goals you are truly working towards more clearly. 

Mantra meditation works to occupy your mind with repetition of sounds and phrases, often an affirmation or intention, clearing your mind of its typical internal dialogue. This works by picking a daily mantra, short or long, and either silently or aloud repeating it to yourself for a set period of time. An example of a mantra could be “I am present.” 

Building positive mindfulness skills can increase our situational awareness, help regulate our emotions, and learn to accept our thoughts and feelings more accurately. 

Therapists Answer: So How Does Therapy Really Work?

Deciding to give therapy a try is encouraging and empowering!

Understanding that there could be things you need to work on can be difficult and I promise we know it took true strength for you to decide to trust us with your mental health. Therapy is not the replacement for a friend, a quick fix, or a place to get advice. Therapy is a safe space to explore your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors with a professional who can help guide you through them. It is also important to remember that therapy is a process and will take time. You may have waited a long time to tackle these problems and they are probably draining your energy. It can be difficult to be patient with the therapy process, as you probably want this to be an immediate fix to everything you’ve been quietly dealing with.

The reality of it truly is that therapy is an art and a science.

When  we think about therapy, we have to consider it as a process in which the client will undergo phases. There are 4 main phases to the therapy process.

Phase 1: The Commitment Phase

This can be thought of as the beginning of the therapeutic relationship. Within this phase the counselor and the client will spend time getting to know each other, building trust, and empowering the client to allow them to feel safe and willing to share their experience. This can be expected to take anywhere between 3-6 sessions primarily dedicated to relationship building.

You can expect to talk about your goals for therapy, things that you have been struggling with, maybe play games, and begin to notice some small changes in your mindset. 

It is important to remember that you, or your child, will not make major progress right away. Though it may have taken a lot of courage to come see someone, you should not expect to make big changes and start feeling better right away. This phase should look more like finding stability through motivation and psychoeducation than making changes. 

The client can expect to learn coping skills, mindfulness strategies, and tips to manage their negative symptoms. 

Phase 2: The Process Phase

In the Process phase, it is expected that trust has been built and the client may finally start to open up about significant life events that they had been holding back before. For clients that laid it all out on the table in the first session, this is the time that they will be able to dive back into those experiences and search for patterns or new information that they may have skipped over the first time. 

This is often a time for consolidation between the client and the therapist. This is the most complex stage of treatment because the client will often begin to understand main themes in their lives that they may have ignored or not noticed before. The client will be able to spot out incongruence or inconsistency within their life and their counselor will help them make sense of these patterns by confronting the connections between their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. 

In this phase, the client can expect to begin implementing the skills they have learned and using them to their advantage within their daily lives, outside of the therapy room. 

Phase 3: The Change Phase

This phase, deep into the therapeutic process, is where the client will begin to identify the differences between their previously perceived self, to their more healthy version of themselves. They will be able to relinquish their negative identity and consciously replace it with a new, more positive version of themselves. 

The client can expect to initiate further changes they feel are necessary and be able to sustain positive behavior because they prefer these behaviors over their previously used maladaptive behaviors. 

Phase 4: The Termination Phase

Termination, or graduation, from therapy is the final stage of the therapeutic process when the client is officially an expert of their own mind, and it implies that the therapist and the patient recognize each other as autonomous and independent individuals.  The dependence for the therapist will begin to diminish and the client can be expected to realize their own strengths and responsibilities for their own life. 

The client will be able to identify their own ability to make choices and respect their own personal autonomy. Although in some cases this phase may pass extremely fast, this phase often lasts longer than the rest of the treatment. This can happen either in the form of memories and fantasies concerning the therapist, particularly at times of stress, or as infrequent requests for maintenance sessions with the therapist.

5 Ways to Spring Clean your Mental + Physical Health

See ya, Florida winter!

it is basically summer here, so what does that mean for us? 

SPRING CLEANING for your mental health! 

Maybe this means cleaning those top shelves that are too difficult to dust, getting outside and freshening up your flower bed, or clearing out some space in your mind for more room to bloom, this time of year calls for reorganization, decluttering, refreshing and cleaning! 

This month we are going to talk about building effective workout and mindfulness habits. It is often difficult to enjoy working out your body, the same way it may be hard to sit with your emotions while working out your mind. To maintain a balance within our lives, it is necessary to promote healthy lifestyle behaviors. 

Here are 5 Ways to Improve Your Mental and Physical Health:

1. Declutter your social media account: it is okay to remove and delete influencers and friends who are dampening your online space. Being on social media can be fun, educational and healthy if you follow the right people. Remember to take breaks, and not overwhelm yourself with comparisons.

2. Reorganize your pantry: taking the time to donate and recycle foods that you do not eat, or foods that may cause you bloating, inflammation or just plain make you feel blah are a great idea. Sometimes having access to unhealthy options makes it easier for us to choose those foods. If you limit what you purchase, you can make better choices on what you eat. What we eat has a great impact on both our mental and physical health.

3. Grow new friendships: making new friends takes bravery, going out of your comfort zone, common interests and knowing your value. Try initiating a conversation with someone who has similar interests and values. You never know, this might be the start of a great, new connection.

4. Spruce up your exercise routine: you can make time to make your exercise routine fun and different. By using different muscles and exercises you grow both mentally and physically. Since the weather is nicer, you can take your routine outdoors or maybe even the beach.

5. Clean out your negative thoughts: take the time to connect with your thoughts and process how you are thinking. Sometimes we fly by our day not realizing how much negativity we carry. Take the load off and journal, meditate and change these thoughts.

Having a new perspective and the time to build new habits can help us feel more in control of our lives. By balancing your mind, body and soul you are able to grow in a balanced direction. This can make stress easier to manage, boundaries easier to set and relationships more positive.

Dogs Can Be Amazing Therapists Too - Bruce Lee Therapy Pup Approved

If you haven’t yet checked out our Hello page on the website, you may not have ever seen Bruce Lee. Well, he’s a hot commodity around here, I can tell you that! Besides being adorable, some people may wonder what his role actually is in the therapy room. Today, this good boy is getting all the praise! 

Bruce’s job is to provide a safe, comfortable space for all of his clients. He is a source of comfort, support, and love (as long as he’s gotten his pre-session treats, of course). But, how does he do this? 

Well, dogs in the therapy room play key roles in supporting and maintaining mental and physical health. Though, regular therapy is definitely effective, having Bruce in the room gives the therapy sessions just a little extra love.

Animal-assisted therapy provides comfort and a positive way to cope with our stresses and anxieties. Oftentimes, when anxiety and depression begin to take over, isolation and loneliness are two common feelings that we struggle with. Having a dog around is found to decrease those feelings and provide that support and love that lifts our spirits.  Dogs naturally aid us in those feelings of optimism that we sometimes lack when suffering from anxiety. Bruce also helps decrease boredom if the session seems to have fallen into a lull. Most importantly, having a therapy dog in the room increases communication, socialization, and the sense of community in the individual who is participating. 

Not only does Bruce help our mental health in the therapy room, animal-assisted therapy also helps our physical health! 

It has been proven that being in the presence of a gentle, friendly dog can significantly affect our physiology. For example, pet therapy can actually decrease our blood pressure and improve our cardiovascular health. Imagine that! Being around a dog also increased the production of a variety of “feel-good” hormones, like dopamine and oxytocin, making our physical bodies feel more relaxed and in tune with our typical rhythm. 

Finally, Bruce encourages people to seek the help they deserve! He is a cutie for sure and truly draws in a crowd. If you were considering therapy before but was not sure if you could connect to it, let Bruce Lee be your sign! 

Our Therapists Share Thoughts On Overcoming Anxiety

Anxiety and depression oftentimes coexistent. When someone is experiencing one, it is common for them to also be experiencing the other. Last week, we talked about how to support your family member, loved one, or friend who is experiencing depression, this week we will reflect on the importance on how to continue to provide support when a loved one is feeling anxious as well! 

Let’s start with the basics, what is anxiety? 

Anxiety is the consistent and persistent feeling of worry and fear for everyday events and tasks. Anxiety is normal, and we all experience it to some extent under certain circumstances, like public speaking or looking over the edge of a tall building. Anxiety becomes problematic when it interferes with our ability to engage in daily living. This means it becomes difficult for someone to go grocery shopping or interact with a friend or coworker. 

What can you do to provide support for someone dealing with this? 

Understand that the fear is real.

It may be hard to understand or conceptualize, right? Why is it such a big deal to go to the store or hang out with a friend? It becomes easy to minimize their fear and worry, simply because you are rationalizing it. Ultimately, this fear is entirely real and the way you are seeing the situation is simply not the same as the person who is anxious. Empathizing with their fears and helping them find accommodations to this worry that can be fitting for their lives is a great way to show your support to them. 

Try your best to listen and be a safe space for them to express their fears.

Rather than telling them to calm down when you see someone getting upset about their own anxiety, try to remember it’s not personal. Getting upset with them and brushing off their fears can disrupt the trust you have built together. Listening to their worries may, not only be a way for you to connect with them, it could be a way for you to fully understand what they are going through internally, making it easier to talk them down when they are overwhelmed. 

Helping them practice mindfulness and deep breathing. 

Deep breathing is so important for someone with anxiety. When the anxious feelings become too difficult to handle, it could potentially lead to an anxiety attack which consists of racing heartbeat, intense fear, hyperventilation, and other unpleasant symptoms. Taking a moment to slow down, take some deep breaths and help your person ground themselves can take that intense panic away.  Giving them a hug can also help them feel safe and secure in their moment of weakness. 

Overall, trying to remember that everyone has different perspectives is the main goal. Every single brain works a little bit different than yours and having the ability to be empathetic, even when you cannot understand it, is a skill that takes time to develop.  Let your loved one know that you are working too and hopefully, together, you  can support each other on the long road to decreasing stigmatization and feeling better overall.

Our Therapists Share 5 Depression Do's

A change in the weather is oftentimes what we need to pick ourselves up, get outside, and take a deep breath to begin a new day. Breaking out of the cold weather funk can be a real hassle and we can only hope the dawn of a bright, warn day can help us accomplish this. But what do we do when the funk doesn’t clear for the people around us?

How can we be there to help and support our loved ones who are having a tough time getting out of a depressive episode? 

1.The first step is finding what support looks like to them. 

Some people simply need space, but others may need some help or guidance. Reminding them that they are enough allows them to remove themselves from that overwhelming feeling of guilt, as they may feel guilty about not being at their “normal” level of functioning or appearance. It’s always a good reminder to let someone know that what they are experiencing is not their fault and that you can get through it together. 

2. Have empathy for their feelings. 

Sometimes it may be difficult to understand why someone thinks the way they do. It may be hard to conceptualize why your perfectly healthy teenager thinks they aren’t good enough or why your amazing husband is having a hard time with his appearance. Try your best to listen and ask how you can help. 

3. Promote self care!

Sometimes self-care becomes the last box we check on our to-do lists, and with depression, that box may be nonexistent. Without guilting someone into doing something they don’t want to do, you can use encouraging words to help get them out of bed to brush their teeth or wash their face. Try to encourage them to sit in a brighter room in the house, or open the blinds in their own room, getting out of a dark room can help them start to feel better.

4. Get outside and enjoy the sun! 

Just like the sun can brighten our moods after a cold winter, someone dealing with depression may feel this same kind of relief. Often, people suffering from depression stay indoors for long periods of time and become deficient in Vitamin D. This vitamin is vital for keeping bones, teeth, and muscles happy and healthy. It also supports brain function and your body’s immune response.

5. Or maybe just be a quiet supporter. 

It is common for those suffering with depression to also be in the dark about their feelings so asking them to explain why they are feeling that way may become exhausting. Being a quiet presence, so you can be there if they do need you, is more than enough.

Knowing they are not alone is the best way to help someone get onto the other side of depression.

Healthcare Workers, You are Mighty Warriors

March is already here again and the only thing I can think about is growth, change and adaptation. Weathering natural disasters, storms of humanity, and storms of this new normal life of quarantine. Though I had plans to engage in a blog about boundaries, women’s achievements, and safe spaces, none of that seems relevant enough because we have all had to adjust those things within this past year. 

Today marks the awful anniversary of COVID coming to Florida and making us all pivot our 2020 plans, which have now been postponed for months.

It has been an entire year of recreating the boundaries we had worked hard to set and grieving with the hardships of family members, friends, or community members who have been affected by this virus. But through it all, you are here. 

You are a warrior and a survivor.

Today I want to talk about resilience and growth.

Here are 3 steps to start taking that can help you grow and make your 2021 dreams a reality, COVID or no COVID.

1. Live in the present moment: this is easy to say but difficult to practice. We are constantly connected and our fast pace world rarely allows for any down time. The practice of being one with yourself, your mind and body is one that helps us stay grounded. It is this concept that can help us stay calm in the middle of a storm.

2. Let go of what you can not control: staying focused on things that we can not change does not allow us to grow. This process makes us feel stuck and does not lead to productivity. By focusing on controlling our thoughts, feelings and behavior we can actually accomplish more. You can not control the pandemic but you can control if you wear a mask, when and if you leave your house, and who you associate with.

3. Have gratitude for what you have: giving thanks is always a great way to combat anxiety. By being thankful we focus on what we have and not on what we lack. Having gratitude helps us stay positive and helps us overcome fear.

This is my reminder that you have survived 100% of your hardest days. Every single day that you felt like you could not make it through, or that you simply did not have it in you- you did. When we experience life altering events that are unexpected and last for more time than we could have planned for, your brain might get tired and your heart might become heavy.

Remember that you have done it before, and it only gets better from here. 

This month let’s focus together on what we can accomplish. let us face it, we have already made it this far.

Treasure Your Friendships - Our Therapists Suggestions

Human beings want to love and be loved. We want to build connections that we treasure and make ourselves part of a group. We search for people whom we trust and appreciate. Some people may have smaller inner circles and others may have larger inner circles. Though we often think of a significant other when we hear the word love, there is another category of people who you may love even more- your best friends. 

Friendships are constantly evolving, ever changing, sometimes painful, but oftentimes rewarding. But, I am sure we all know when push comes to shove, friends get the short end of the stick in the hierarchy of life.

Between work, school, relationships, kids, family, and the ongoing list of things that need to be accomplished, where do we fit our friends?  When managing our own mental health, how do we manage our friendships too? 

The good news is, it is possible.

How do you fit in time for friends?

Sometimes all it takes is a phone call in between errands. A good rule of thumb would be simply to be honest. Tell your friends what you have planned and what is on your mind. True friends, who are around for the long haul will understand. I mean, let's be honest, they are probably busy too!

Other ways to keep a healthy balance would be to plan in advance, hang out in groups, or even ask them to join you on daily tasks. Balancing friendships and everyday chores can help you keep your routine entertaining and your friendships intact.

What makes a good friend?

Everyone has different values and non-negotiable items, these are things that we would not go back and forth on in relationships. Good friends typically have some common values like trustworthiness, being non-judgmental, being able to express empathy, and being a good listener.

What are signs of a poor friendship?

Poor friendships can hurt or harm us just as much as good friends can help and encourage us. Some common characteristics could be a friend who takes but does not have the time to give, they are not honest with you, or they do not support you. If you feel like you are constantly doing and giving, chances are you are doing too much for your friend. This might be a sign that you need to re-evaluate your friendship values.

Finding a great friend is like finding a hidden treasure, full of excitement and wonder.

We all know being a good friend is hard work and finding good friends is even harder. Being true to yourself and being honest with those you care about can help you navigate through this busy life, with some people who you truly love and appreciate!

4 Ways to Start Your Self-Love Routine and Your Mental Health

What is love and how do you show it? The great Pooh Bear once told Piglet, “you do not spell love, you feel it.” We would agree with him.

Love lives in all areas in our life, from friendships, to relationships, friendships that become relationships, to self love, to the LGBTQ+ community, and also to understanding asexuality and what that kind of love looks like (spoiler alert, it’s different for everyone).

Ultimately, love will come and go through relationships and friendships but there is always one place you should be able to find it: within yourself.

Self love is the only kind of love that comes from a place within your heart and can express it in a multitude of ways. 

So what are some ways to begin practicing self-love?

1. Know that you deserve it: make sure your mindset is open and ready to make a commitment to yourself. Changing your perspective and outlook is the first step towards improving your self-love routine.

2. Make a list of things you love (make sure to include things you can do on your own, for you and by you). Some great examples are: writing, coloring, listening to music, playing an instrument, cooking, baking, being outside, walking, jogging, meditation, yoga, eating in the present moment and hydrating.

3. Create a schedule of what you would like to start with. All you need is one activity to start, try that for a week or 2. As it becomes a self-love routine, you will be able to add more self-love into your life.

4. Be in the moment: make sure to stay in the present moment and check in with how you are feeling about loving on yourself. This happiness, confidence and freedom can help give you a boost of positivity. It will also help you remember why your self-love routine is important to you.

Remember that self-love is a practice and is not easy for most of us to do (let’s face it, we can all use some more self-love in our lives). Be gentle with yourself, start where you are at and after about 3 months or so, self-love can become a routine.

Our Therapists Share How to Revamp Your Routines

Why are routines hard to start and hard to keep up with? They can be tedious but we know that once you are able to hone in on specific goals, routines will be an integral part of maintaining these goals.

Routines are helpful in giving us a feeling of control over our lives, even when it may seem like control is the last thing you have. Routines can also be helpful in coping with change, forming healthy habits, and reducing stress levels. 

Morning routines can be a great way to get your day started on the right track. Sometimes, getting out of bed is a struggle and it’s important to understand that you should not feel bad for skipping a morning routine. Though, having a routine may make those days a little easier. So, we can almost look at this like preparation for difficult days or weeks, while also setting us up for success on our good days.

It is also important to note that everyone’s lives are different and therefore the recommendations that I may have for a good morning routine may not fit into your life. It is up to you to determine the best way to start your day because consistency is the real key. 

The best step, in my opinion, for a successful morning routine is to simply let light in. This alone will increase those feelings of wakefulness, making the rest of this routine a little easier. After we let the light in, it is proven to be helpful to make your bed. By completing a task, first think in the morning, you can increase your own self-confidence and may be more inclined to complete the rest of your daily tasks.

Drink water and eat breakfast! Dehydration and lack of nutrients can decrease your daily cognitive functions, so don’t forget that banana! Starting your day with a meal can also boost your metabolism to help you with any meal routines you may set for yourself throughout the rest of your day.

Lastly, before you leave the house, it may be helpful to set 5 minutes aside to either meditate, set your daily intentions, stretch your body, or write down your daily goals. Beginning your day with just 5 minutes of focusing ONLY on yourself will pay off, in terms of your mental health, in finding your center and creating stability in your day. If your day seems to be straying from your comfort zone, you can fall back on those 5 minutes and refocus your day. 

Night routines can be just as important as morning routines. Shower, focus on your skincare or haircare, eat dinner, and refocus your intentions for the day to come by taking 5 more minutes, just for you. Just like a morning routine can set you up for the rest of the day, a night time routine can help to wipe the slate clean for the day to come. It can give you an opportunity to thank yourself for making it through one more day. 

As we finish up our nightly routine, lie your head down to go to sleep, remind yourself that tomorrow is a new day and you can conquer anything you put your mind to. 

Go out and conquer your day!

Goals to Help You Mentally Succeed

This month, we are still talking about the pressure of change. How is it that when January rolls around, the whole world seems to fall onto us at once? Change your eating habits. Get out of that relationship. Get into that relationship. Exercise more. Get more sleep. Write in your calendar…. And the list could go on.

Most of these changes are pressures we place on ourselves, visions of a better future or a better version of ourselves.

Though we can remove these pressures with positive self talk and practicing self-care,  some of these changes may be unavoidable.

Maybe it really is time to change those eating habits or increase your exercise routine and it took the “new year, new me” phenomenon to decide now is your turning point?

If these goals are necessary and they do simply contribute to making you a better you, we can talk about how to set the right goals and how to achieve them with ease. 

We can learn, at home, how to stare that daunting new task in the eyes and overcome the obstacle without breaking a sweat (unless your goal is exercise, then maybe we achieve your goal with lots of sweat!). 

We can do this by creating SMART goals (because everyone loves a good acronym)! 

S in SMART stands for SPECIFIC: These goals should be simple in nature to allow for an easy transition. This goal is ultimately created to help us achieve something, it is also important that this goal is sensible. We do not want to put effort into a goal that is not benefiting us. Lastly, this goal should be significant. Even though I said this goal should be simple, it should also be important. For example, if your goal is to get more exercise, for S, our goal should be something specific, simple, sensible, and significant: Going on a walk. The exercise at hand is specific, walking, and it is not difficult to squeeze into your schedule, but still has purpose and aids you in getting closer to a healthy lifestyle.

M in SMART stands for MEASURABLE: We want to be able to track our progress, so “going on a walk” may be too vague to meet our M goal. This should also be meaningful and motivating. A good example of an M goal, for our same example, would be: Going on a one walk a day for at least one mile. 

A in SMART is ACHIEVABLE: Our goal of going on one walk a day for one mile, is a specific and measurable goal, but is it motivating? Does it seem too difficult too quickly? We want this goal to be meaningful and if it is not motivating enough, you probably aren’t going to do it. We can adjust our goal to be more motivating: Going on a walk every day starting with one lap around the block and increasing by one lap, each week. 

R in SMART is RELEVANT: Can we go on a walk every day? In Florida, yes probably. In Buffalo, NY, there are blizzards and snow and truly no, we probably could not take a walk every day. But, if we live in Florida, and we are okay occasionally getting drizzled on, then our goal can remain the same because it is reasonable. 

T is SMART is TIME BOUND: Making goals that work within your schedule may be the most important because if our goal fits in all of our SMAR reasons but we can not manage to take that time out of our day, we will never get around to reaching it. If we work a 9-5, maybe take the time right after dinner to take this walk with your family. Have a back-up option for days that time may be limited. For example, if we can track our steps during our walk around the block, we may be able to walk around our house days that we can not make it outside to receive a similar step-count to get close to your goal. 

Setting and carrying out goals can be difficult, believe in yourself and make sure your goals are realistic… and smart… we can make reaching those goals possible. You have got this!

New Year, This is Me: Our Therapists Share New Year Mindsets

After a year filled with grief, loss, quarantines, and an ample amount of self-reflection, the imposition of a new year may feel daunting.

As human beings, we tend to place a lot of pressure on the beginning of a new year. A behavior we have learned and perfected throughout our whole lives, simply by participating in new year’s resolutions and taking advantage of those discounted gym membership opportunities.

January, for most of us, is what we know as an opportunity to “start fresh” and leave the previous year behind us. Except, this past year was no ordinary year. It will be impossible for some of us to leave the events that we may have experienced in 2020 in the past, as nothing but a memory, like we have many times before.

Good Riddance 2020

Throughout 2020, some of us experienced loneliness like we have never felt or financial instability that seemed unavoidable. The year 2020 has created a multitude of social anxieties, ranging from the fear of getting sick yourself to deciding to send your children back to in-person school. We have had to miss holidays, birthdays, reschedule weddings and postpone funerals. And although we may have found some fun through this dreadful year- some people got a new pet, some really perfected their yoga skills, and I think we all learned to appreciate nature a little more- some of these events were just traumatizing.

Realistic Expectations

So, I’m here to tell you that it’s okay to skip the “new year, new me” and maybe, together, we can take the pressure off the expectations of evolving and exponential growth. Instead, let’s focus on our mental health and allow ourselves to just be- be funny, be sad, be happy, be quiet, be loud, or even just be tired. If we can set our intentions for this year to simply be, growth will follow.

To begin the year, whether that means sending the kids back to school, beginning a new semester, or taking on life as a new graduate, it may be helpful to try a few things to navigate 2021 as best we can. We can start by utilizing skills of self-reflection. I may not be easy to self-reflect, as this can be just as daunting as the coming of a new year but take a look at the life you have created for yourself and allow yourself to accept an unchanged you.

Maybe though, while reflecting, you realize there are some things that you feel were not helpful or productive and maybe you are ready for change. We can then discuss some healthy vehicles for change to make those transitions as smooth as possible.

At the end of the day, or the beginning of the year, we all are ultimately faced with a new normal and we are all separately going to have to learn what that means for us.

So, welcome to 2021, or in other words, just another week…

Our Therapist Shares, They Have Long Hauler Covid

… and I am finally ready to process it.

My life turned upside down on June 14, 2020 in a very unexpected and scary way. I woke up with severe stomach pain, cramping, rushing to the bathroom in excess amounts. It was painful, I was dehydrated and I felt off. My muscles were becoming weak, I felt fatigued and was losing the ability to walk. My mom rushed me to the urgent care. I was told it would take a week to find out if I had Covid. The doctors said I had a stomach bug, sent me home and asked me to take electrolytes.

When I came home, I took a hot shower, this made my symptoms severely worse. My brain felt as if I had encephalitis and I started deteriorating fast. My ability to walk was coming to a stand still. My husband rushed me to Tampa General. I bypassed everyone as a tech rushed me to the back in a wheelchair. I thought I had Covid. How else would a 30 something year old, healthy, runner and mother of 2 be so ill during a pandemic?

During triage the nurse questioned my symptoms and I saw all the nurses in a corner talking about my symptoms. None of them believed me. They all said I was having a panic attack. They performed a full panel drug screen on me before finally realizing my Potassium level was a deathly 2.5. For those of you who have no idea about this, Potassium is an intracellular ion which impacts our electrolytes. It helps nerves function and muscles to contract. I never knew how much Potassium meant to my body before I almost lost my life to the depletion.

Once my results came back, it was clear I had a high WBC, low Potassium and Magnesium. My electrolytes were suffering. While at the hospital I was treated and monitored over night. I was on an EKG and told to go home the next day after I stabilized.

Later that night I would end up at St. Joseph’s hospital with low electrolytes and pain in left lower quadrant. Nothing was found, they sent me home.

Two days later, while napping my HR spiked to a 150 for no reason. I was rush to the ER again. My symptoms this time felt as if I had meningitis, my neck was stiff and I could not turn my head. I had a CT of my brain and again nothing was found.

Two days later and again I ended up at the ER in a wheelchair. This time feeling as if I had a stroke, no one believed me and the doctor kicked me out.

Since June I have been to the ER a total of 8 times, mind you, I can not stand being ill, going to the doctor or being cared for. I am too independent and energetic to be sick. I have turned to alternative medicine for help and relief.

After 3 months, 20 doctors, countless appointments, and many dead ends I rely on acupuncture, chiropractic care and IV’s to get me through each week.

To say I have fought for my life is an understatement.

I am not well, many of us Covid long-haulers remain sick. My HR spikes upon standing, I have no ability to sweat, I lost the ability to produce tears, my left eye has vision loss, I have lost spatial ability and coordination, I am physically weak, I could not drive for a month, I am atrophied from head to toe, I have episodes in which I lose the ability to walk, I had 3 severe infections that newborns typically have, I lost 30 pounds in 3 months and more…

We are 90,000 + on our Survivor Corps FaceBook community. Thankfully, I know how to advocate for myself but it has been tough for us all.

Awareness is the only way to help more people who will end up just like myself.

Be mindful and aware that Covid is different for everyone. Please use caution and stay safe.

Read more about my story on NBC

How to Make the Best of Your Quarantine and Mental Health

Quarantine is a scary word, one that comes with the idea of danger and well, that may stress us out. Among that, there is an economic crisis, a lapse in education, and a potential temporary termination of your job.

But, I wonder if quarantine can be a good word?

A word that makes us think of a tropical getaway- just on your back patio, or a concert for your favorite band that only you get to attend-obviously, in your living room.

Although, we cannot make light of the current situation outside of our homes, we do suddenly have the unusual benefits of a mandatory stay-cation. I wonder how we can use that to our advantage and help keep us going strong with our self-care routines we always swear we are going to get around to.

Lucky for you, you now have the time!

Being seemly trapped inside your home can feel daunting so we are here to help you out by providing you with some tips on how to stay busy and keep your mind healthy in this temporary state of social distancing.

One of my favorite ideas to keep the mind positive, body flowing, and heart happy is to do something as simple as holding yourself accountable. Creating a routine is a perfect way to get that done. When your job temporarily closes or you are forced to work from home, your everyday “normal” is a little out of the ordinary. It may be boring and tough to find the motivation to be productive. By creating a new routine, you are able to hold yourself accountable and get some things done. By keeping busy and adding time into your day specifically designated to being outside or exercising, you can decrease any anxiety you may be feeling about being pent up.

If you need help creating a routine, here are some ideas to help you out:

1. Set a wake up time. It doesn’t have to be as early as your typical work day but make it reasonable to allow yourself time to eat three meals a day… because how often do we really get that opportunity? Start with skin care, coffee, breakfast, making your bed, and getting changed out of your pajamas.

2. Allocate some time for your brain. Even if you are not in school right now, reading a book or doing a puzzle with your kids can be something fun for all. Things to do can include reading online lectures, doing homework or studying, catching up on deadlines for work, reading for pleasure, or playing games that engage the mind.

3. Spend some time outside. Whether you have a patio or a backyard, give yourself an opportunity to (safely) enjoy the fresh air. Examples of outdoor activates can be sunbathing, gardening or taking the dog on a long walk.

4. Lunch time!

5. Do something for your body. Just because you cannot go to the gym, it does not mean you should stop your weekly exercise, no matter how much you may want to. Due to the closure of gyms, there are a bunch of online based workout classes are being offered for free. Good ways to be active inside your home include yoga, HIIT, treadmill, stationary bike, Zumba, or lifting weights.

6. Include something fun. You’ve worked hard so far! Make sure you are adding in something you enjoy doing to keep your spirits up and your heart in the routine. Either continuing an existing hobby is a good idea for this time frame or maybe even taking up a new one. Things you can try include painting, baking, or crafting.

7. Follow it up with something productive. There is never a day where there is no need for a little tidying up. Ideas for being productive can be as simple as doing the dishes or folding laundry to as rigorous as rearranging your closet and donating old clothes. It’s also important to be sanitizing, especially if someone in your household has to leave regularly. Clorox wipes to the rescue, am I right?

8. Dinner time!

9. Wind down for the night. You have put in a lot of work today, hang out! This can include board games with the family or roommates, Netflix or your favorite reality TV show, journal, or even just sending out a quick phone call to your friends or relatives that you are not able to see right now.

10. Finally, time to shower, get ready for bed, and enjoy a nice nights’ sleep.

Obviously, there are plenty of ways to keep your mind and spirit busy during this time that I have not listed above. I encourage you to explore what works for you and what engages your own interests. We aren’t often faced with the opportunity to save the human race by simply staying home- make it worth something to you and everyone else!