5 Tools to Help You Embrace Change

Experiencing a change can cause us to wonder if we have the capacity to handle change. Can we handle the unknown or a new experience? Change is an opportunity to utilize a positive mindset and look forward to something new and different.

Here are a 5 tools to help you towards positive change:

1. Patience with yourself - Experiencing a change allows us to take a pause and assess what is going on in our life. We can give ourselves permission to slow down and practice patience in a new situation. Give yourself grace to experience something new. It takes time to adjust and become used to a new job, new move, or even a new family member.

2. Vulnerability with others - Going through a change with someone else allows us to be vulnerable to our needs and the needs of others. Opening up to someone else is a great way to learn more about what we are capable of and where we can improve emotionally. Communicating what you need and how you feel can help others better understand how you feel about change.

3. Mistakes that are forgiven - Change is not perfect, so learning from mistakes and new experiences is a great way to expand our skillset, build confidence and practice grace toward ourselves and others. By realizing you expect to make mistakes, you make the standard for yourself much more attainable and less daunting. Making mistakes is a major part of growth and growth mindset. Without mistakes many inventions and things we use everyday would not even exist.

4. Aim for progress, not perfection - It is important to try, make an effort and learn. Knowing that perfect does not exist, can help you be more open minded to trying new positive things. Always try to make progress and know that you are aiming for a realistic goal. Nothing will ever be perfect, and that is completely fine.

5. Stay in the moment - Be present with yourself and try to enjoy the process. Understanding that every ending has a new beginning, is a beautiful thing. Not every day is the same, and even in challenging times we can find things to be grateful for. Find something to always be thankful for.

Every new change is a chance to grow, to learn about ourselves and those around us. If we are open to new possibilities we have the potential to become a better version of ourselves. This is exactly what we need to aim for, be kind to yourself and you will get there.

Healthy + Safe Mindfulness Spaces to Recharge Your Mind

As we talk about ditching ineffective work out habits and mindfulness tactics to replace them with more energizing and fulfilling routines, creating healthy spaces plays a role here.

If there is no place you feel safe, how could you possibly participate in a meaningful meditation and mindfulness practice? If you do not feel safe, how can you feel comfortable to wear what you want and avoid falling prey to those intrusive thoughts regarding the judgement of others? 

We can create a safe space for ourselves by following these 4 simple steps:  

1. Finding any space where you feel comfortable. 

This may sound easy but I really want you to think here. When you are sad or upset, where do you go? Probably your bed, maybe you go on a drive, or you might even drown your sorrows in music or video games. You may feel comfortable in these places, but it’s also obvious that you also feel sad there. It is possible you are tying this space to a negative emotion, making it difficult to feel joy or happiness here. 

You can avoid this by going out of your comfort zone and finding a new place outdoors. Another option to find a comfortable place would be to reorganize an existing place in your room or home to omit positive vibes and a calming presence. 

2. Make a space your own

My favorite way to do this is to start by thinking of a color that makes me happy. For example, I love shades and hues of blue. Try to incorporate as many or as little objects as you feel comfortable. Do not let this space be determined by the home aesthetic, but instead by what moves you to find inner calm and seek happiness.

You may also want this space to be inaccessible to others, meaning it may be nice to have a door or barrier of some kind to give you the privacy that you may need in times of discontent.

3. Scheduling time to be present in this space

We have all been in a position where we SWEAR we are going to dedicate time to our passion but oftentimes fallen short. The idea of adding space to your calendar to designate specifically for you can help hold you accountable and provide you the relief from self-guilt. You deserve time to yourself, even if you have to set an alarm to take it. 

Scheduling a time to spend in a safe space can also be a cool trick to managing anxiety symptoms. Pick a time of the day, maybe an hour or maybe 5 minutes, where you can expect to be entirely free. Make this time your designated stress time, sad time, anxious time, happy time, or whatever other emotion you feel you must plan time around. When 10am rolls around and you are presented with a reason to stress, you can remind yourself, it is not your time and you can stress about that later.  This often leads to you either forgetting the stressful event, or decreasing the intensity of the stress by allowing time to pass before tackling it. 

4. Creating a routine

You did it, you found the space, you made it safe and secluded, it is all yours, you scheduled the time and it is working: Let’s make it a habit! Going back to this space to reflect on your week can create a healthy habit of initiating your own happiness. Acknowledge this time as a priority and allow yourself to grow in your ability to find gratitude and comfort in the small moments.

Now enjoy your space to rest, relax and restore.

Mindfulness for Everybody - A Therapy Approach

Participating in “Mindfulness” is probably something the internet has told you to do a thousand times.

But, it is often hard to participate when we either don’t understand or don’t know how. So, what exactly is it?

The answer to that question can come in many forms. Being mindful about a situation is the process of entering the state of consciousness or awareness of something. Learning to be mindful means we can first focus on that awareness and direct it toward our present moment and simultaneously acknowledge and accept one’s own thoughts and feelings in a therapeutic way. 

Mindfulness comes in many forms the most common one being meditation.

The misconception of meditation is that it has to be something you do alone, in a quiet place, where you have to be still and have zero thoughts. I don't know about you but that just may not be an option.

The good news is, there are so many other options for us to utilize being mindful without the absence of all internal thought. 

Movement meditation is the first idea that may come to mind. Understanding our bodies' physical limitations can help us determine our mental limitations as well. This can look like yoga, running, mindful walking, or even dancing. Anything that allows us to be in the present moment, giving our bodies’ the love, appreciation, and attention it needs, can be a form of meditation. 

Mindfulness meditation is the form of meditation mentioned above. You can use this by finding a place where you can remain sitting, alone, in a quiet place, listening to your breath and pushing away intrusive thoughts. Mindfulness meditation will take hours of practice and you may not be able to do this on your first try. Being forgiving toward your thoughts and being patient with yourself are going to be common themes while practicing this type of meditation. 

Guided meditation may be a better fit for you if mindful meditation sounds too difficult or daunting. This type of meditation takes some of the pressure off of you, allowing you to relax and find peace and calm within someone else’s words or guidance. These practices can be short or long, they can aid in sleep, self-esteem, or even alertness for the day ahead. 

Visualization is the process of picturing your thoughts and intentions under a positive light in your mind's eye. Visualization can help you project the things you want to accomplish into the universe, similar to an affirmation. Sometimes, taking the time to visualize a phrase, goal, or intention can help you identify the goals you are truly working towards more clearly. 

Mantra meditation works to occupy your mind with repetition of sounds and phrases, often an affirmation or intention, clearing your mind of its typical internal dialogue. This works by picking a daily mantra, short or long, and either silently or aloud repeating it to yourself for a set period of time. An example of a mantra could be “I am present.” 

Building positive mindfulness skills can increase our situational awareness, help regulate our emotions, and learn to accept our thoughts and feelings more accurately. 

Our Therapists Share How to Spring Clean Your Self-Care Routine

What do you think of when you hear the phrase “spring cleaning”? Do you envision the dirt and dust that has accumulated throughout the year around your living space or do you imagine a pile of material objects that you are able to toss or donate? It seems that we, as human beings, tend to follow this mindset that if we clean up our external world then our internal world will fall into place. But what if we were to “spring clean” from the inside out? If we were to make a conscious choice to take care of our internal dirt and dust, then our external world may seem less overwhelming when it comes time to renew and clean during the Spring season.

You may be wondering how you begin to inwardly spruce up. It can start by beginning to understand your need for self-care and establishing a routine that works for you. Self-care is ways that you take care of yourself emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. It is about connecting with your body and mind and asking for what you need. Asking for what you need can be difficult if you are used too often caring for others before caring for yourself. I am going to ask that you read the steps below for establishing a self-care routine and TRY. All you can do is try and begin to practice caring for yourself. Self-care can be a stumbling point for me, especially as a new counselor in the field, so I will work hard to practice these steps right along with you.

Steps to Creating A Self Care Routine

1. Sleep When You Are Tired: This one may seem obvious but in today’s fast-paced world, it can difficult to find time to rest your body and sleep. This step is not saying that you need to give things up to sleep but to determine how to get the best amount of sleep for your body and lifestyle. Sleeping is so important to be able to recharge physically, emotionally and mentally.

2. Eat Until You Are Satisfied: After overindulging, have you ever felt sluggish, sick and just generally zapped? I know I have. This step challenges you to recognize the sign your body is giving you when you have reached a point of satisfaction while eating without feeling overly full. Eating to feel satisfied can leave you feeling less like taking a nap and more like taking on the day in between meals.

3. Find Time for Yourself: Finding time for yourself can be just five minutes throughout the day to practice your deep breathing, dance to your favorite song in your living room or listen to a song that brings you joy. It can be anything really as long as it is something that is meaningful to you and gives you space to channel your own energy.

4. Allow Yourself to Feel Your Feelings: This is so challenging but one of the most important parts of caring for yourself. This includes even those negative feelings that can be uncomfortable to feel. It may seem like you are being selfish for saying no to that person’s request, not wanting to be another person’s friend or letting someone know that they may have made you angry, but it is not selfish. Self-confidence comes with beginning to know all emotions are acceptable. Learning to recognize and express how you are truly feeling helps to make you more whole for YOU and everyone else.

5. Be Present: We hear this a lot in today’s fast-paced world but how many times do we truly take time to practice this? This includes unplugging from work responsibilities, phones, computers, tablets, etc. and just being there to experience your life. Maybe you take a walk and notice the colors of the foliage around you or you tune into what your dinner partner/partners are saying without any external distractions. You can even take a moment while at work or home to just recognize the colors around you. Whatever it might be, being present for a moment and not thinking about the mistake you made yesterday or the project you have due tomorrow begins to teach you how to connect with
your life.

All of the above is a guide for how to start asking for what you need. You can add to this list or pick out the most important steps for you and begin incorporating them into your life at your pace. However, you decide to begin, start small and give yourself grace along the way. Dusting and sweeping each area of your life takes time.