Our Therapists Confirm, Love is Love

Love is love. This is a phrase that is quite self explanatory- love between any two people, regardless of sex, gender, religion, or race is still love. The last generation has paved the way to normalizing and celebrating the LGBTQIA community, and the newest generation is doing their best to continue in the fight for equality. But, regardless of the tireless efforts of normalization the love between ANY individuals, some of us are still in the dark on what LGBTQIA stands for, how to support your friends or family members who are a part of this community, or how to be an ally to those you may not know, but wish to support. Equality starts with conversations, so let’s talk about it. 

What does the LGBTQIA+ acronym stand for?

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Intersex, Asexual. These are just a few words that simply describe the vast spectrum of sexuality that exists within our society and culture. Gender and sexuality both exist on a spectrum and we, as individuals, have the right to decide how we feel, who we feel for, and how we identify ourselves within our own gender. Now, this may be difficult to understand, it may be hard to move on from our standard conceptions of gender roles and standards. 

So, how do you support your friends or family who are part of the LGBTQIA+ community? 

The first thing you could do is be open minded. Just because someone does not feel love or give love the way you do, does not mean it isn’t right for them. Simply due to the lack of support for people in this community, within their families and society, LGBTQ teens are almost three times as likely to contemplate suicide, and five times as likely to attempt suicide, than their heterosexual peers. The Trevor project is a great resource if you're looking to gain insight, understand the statistics, or see how you can help be an ally in your community. See the bottom of this blog for a link to their website!

But that brings up another question, how can you be an ally? What even is an ally?

Ally’s can come in many different forms. Just having a friend within this community is not enough to consider yourself to be a support system for them. Having unconditional positive regard for your friends in this community is. Showing inclusivity but also treating your friends or children the same way you would treat any other person who identified as straight. Ask questions. There is no shame in genuine curiosity. At the end of the day, love is love. So, there is no reason we should treat it differently, simply because it looks different.

Keep up with our Instagram stories this week to ask any questions you may have or to find resources to help be a support system @serenemindcounseling

To check out the Trevor Project, visit their website: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/about/strategic-plan-mission/

5 Keys to a Healthy Relationship - From Our Therapists

Relationships are tricky. There are ups and downs, unforeseen obstacles, and they require both partners to be putting in effort in order to last. While it’s true that every relationship is different, there are practices that can be generally applied to building a healthy relationship.

Here are some key components of a healthy relationship:

1. Communication:

Open and honest communication is arguably the most important part of a healthy relationship. Communication is a two-way street; you and your partner must be able to express thoughts and emotions, but also actively listen to what the other has to say. This will allow you and your partner to be on the same page and know what one another’s expectations are for the relationship. Do not be afraid to have uncomfortable conversations – bottling up your emotions rather than communicating them will hurt your relationship in the long run.

2. Respect:

In a healthy relationship, you and your partner must have mutual respect, even if you don’t always agree with them. Respecting your partner’s beliefs or boundaries means working to understand where they are coming from, and not trying to change them. Always treat your partner how you would want to be treated.

3. Boundaries:

Setting and respecting boundaries is a fundamental part of a healthy relationship. It’s best to clearly establish clear boundaries early on in the relationship.

4. Trust:

Trust is not given automatically; it is something that takes time and effort to build between partners. Show your partner, through both words and actions, that you follow through on commitments and keep your word.

5. Support:

Provide your partner with positivity and encouragement as you support them. The form support takes depends on your partner’s needs. Communication is key in determining how you can best support your partner.

Relationships are hard work. You have to nurture your relationship in order for it to bloom and become the type of relationship you want for yourself.

New Year, Better Me - A Mental Health Perspective

As we enter the new year, many people are setting their New Year’s Resolutions. Setting goals in the spirit of self-improvement and building healthy habits can be a great thing, but only when they are made with reasonable expectations.

Here are some tips for how to set realistic mental health goals for the new year:

1. Start small –

It’s important to set attainable goals to avoid being overwhelmed. Once you have reached a smaller goal, you can set a new one!

2. Be precise –

Be clear and specific in what you want to achieve. This will make it easier to determine the steps to take towards reaching your goals and keep track of your progress.

3. Give yourself plenty of time –

It would be unrealistic to expect a drastic change in your life after only one day. When setting goals, give yourself a reasonable timeline.

4. Strive for progress, not specific outcomes –

Goals do not always need to be met! You can still draw satisfaction from your achievements, regardless of the end-result.

5. Don’t give up –

Changing your habits and trying new things is hard. It’s okay to falter or take a few steps back, but don’t let this dissuade you from continuing to work towards your goals!

New Year’s resolutions do not have to be overwhelming, they can be simple and doable. Try your best, set yourself up for success and when needed ask for help. Goals do not have to be accomplished alone.

12 Holiday Affirmations for Your Mental Health

During this busy time of year, it’s easy to get swept up in holiday plans and focus more on the world around you than yourself. But as always, it is important to make the time to stay present and prioritize self-love. To nurture feelings of gratitude, peace, and cheerfulness during the holidays, practice giving yourself positive affirmations.

Examples of holiday self-love affirmations include:

1. I choose to love and accept myself exactly as I am

2. I deserve happiness and respect

3. I will treat myself with kindness

4. I am strong

5. I am worthy of receiving love from others

6. I am not selfish for setting boundaries

7. I am allowed to eat holiday treats without feeling guilty

8. I am brave

9. I will make the best of the situations I am in

10. I am proud of the person I am today

11. I will look towards the future, rather than dwell on the past

12. I am enough

You can say these affirmations out loud, in your mind, or write them down. You may not believe these affirmations in the moment, but that will change with time and repetition.

The Importance of Holiday Expectations for Your Mental Health

For many people, the holiday season can be a source of stress and other negative emotions. During this time, it’s important to manage your expectations and remember that you only have control over your own thoughts and actions. Going into the holidays with this mindset can help prevent feelings of disappointment.

Here are some other tips for staying in a positive headspace during the holidays:

1. Set realistic expectations.

No holiday is perfect, so be prepared for some bumps along the road.

2. Live in the moment.

Rather than focusing on what may or may not happen in the future, be present in the now.

3. Maintain healthy boundaries.

Check in with yourself and communicate what you need from friends and family going into the holidays.

4. Take care of yourself.

With holiday celebrations, family get-togethers, and end of the year assignments, it’s easy to let your self-care routines fall by the wayside. Be proactive and prioritize your mental and physical well-being in order to stay grounded.

5. Set aside time to de-stress.

It’s okay to feel overwhelmed or disappointed. If this happens, give yourself time to engage in calming and joy-bringing activities, such as going for a walk, reading a book, taking a bubble bath or extra cuddles with your favorite puppy.

Remember the holidays can be a stressful time for many who feel increased pressure during this time of year. You can balance this stress by reducing the expectations you are setting for yourself. After all, the true meaning of the holiday season is sharing love and kindness.

Signs of Seasonal Affective Disorder

Seasonal Affective Disorder, also known as SAD, is a form of depression that presents itself during the change in the seasons; typically, people experience SAD in the fall and winter months. The symptoms of SAD are similar to those of major depression and tend to last about 4-5 months each year.

Signs of Seasonal Affective Disorder include:

- Having low energy

- Experiencing appetite and/or weight changes

- Having trouble sleeping (either too much or not enough)

- Feeling hopeless, depressed, and/or worthless

- Losing motivation for activities you normally enjoy

- Having difficulty concentrating

- Experiencing suicidal thoughts

If you are feeling the symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder, here are a few things to try to improve your mood:

- Expose yourself to light every day to substitute for the lack of sunshine in the winter months. This can be accomplished by:

o Taking a mid-day walk

o Sitting near windows when indoors

o Taking Vitamin D supplements

o Using a “light box” to simulate sunlight for 30 minutes a day, also known as Light Therapy

- Learn how to cope with difficult situations and replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts and actions. This can be accomplished through:

o Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

o Talk Therapy

- Take antidepressants, if needed

Be sure to listen to your mind and body during the next few months and take the necessary steps to take care of yourself. You should not have to “tough it out” or “push through” your feelings; ask for support and seek help when you need it.

The Importance of Gratitude - From Our Therapists

Gratitude is defined as “the quality of being thankful.”

Gratitude is given special attention during this time of year, but it is important to engage in giving thanks year-round. Gratitude helps you appreciate the meaningful people and valuable things in life. Acknowledging these good things, rather than what you may lack, will cultivate a sense of satisfaction in life.

There are many ways in which gratitude positively impact your life – as well as the lives of those around you – including:

1. Improvements in your health.

Physical and mental health are closely intertwined. The emotional benefits you’ll receive from actively practicing gratitude will carry over into improving your physical wellbeing.

2. Strengthening your relationships.

When you recognize, appreciate, and reciprocate the kindness you receive from others, your relationships will blossom!

3. Reductions in anxiety.

Practicing gratitude keeps your focus in the present moment, which prevents you from stressing about the future.

Overall, gratitude is associated with experiencing more positive emotions. To increase your happiness, give thanks consistently, not just during the holiday season!

4 Ways to Set Healthy Family Boundaries - From Our Family Therapists

Thanksgiving is about a week away, which marks the beginning of the holiday season and the inevitable family get-togethers. Being around family is a wonderful way to celebrate, but these reunions can be stressful and dysfunctional without clear-cut boundaries in place.

It is important to take the time to establish and respect boundaries within your family, as this will help build a healthy dynamic.

Here are 4 tips to set healthy family boundaries:

1. Identify and communicate your boundaries in advance.

Be direct and clear when expressing what your boundaries are and why they are important to you. This gives your family time to process this information and better respect your needs.

2. Practice being assertive while also being kind.

If someone oversteps your boundaries, you can firmly remind them of your threshold without being confrontational. Your family is more likely to respect your boundaries when you set them in a friendly way.

3. Take a step back when you need to.

When someone crosses the line, remember you have the option to remove yourself from the situation. If confronting or arguing with them is not going to be constructive, do not be afraid to walk away.

4. In the event your boundaries are not respected, prepare your coping skills in advance.

It is better to think up strategies ahead of time and not need them, then to wish you had them later. Coping strategies include going for a walk, taking deep breaths, playing with your pet, and listening to your favorite music.

When we spend time with our loved ones it is important to prioritize your needs and remember that you matter too!

How to Support Our Veterans

The purpose of Veteran’s Day is to recognize the service of each and every American veteran. Veteran’s Day especially emphasizes honoring and giving thanks to living veterans who served their country. In the spirit of commemorating veterans, it is important to acknowledge the trauma and subsequent mental health challenges many of them experience and learn how best to support these veterans.

Here are a few ways you can help support veterans:

1. Educate yourself.

One of the best ways you can support veterans is to learn about the mental illnesses they may be experiencing. This allows you to better understand what they are going through and be compassionate. Common mental health challenges include Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Depression, Anxiety, and Traumatic Brain Injury.

2. De-stigmatize mental illness.

Many members of the military do not seek mental health treatment due to stigmas; these stigmas include the view that veterans with mental illnesses are “weak.” Dismissing these hurtful viewpoints and promoting recovery for veterans can increase their comfort level with seeking help.

3. Assist available resources.

There are many organizations that were created to support veterans and provide mental health care. Volunteering with these organizations and/or raising awareness of their existence is a great way to support the health and wellbeing of veterans. Here is a great list of just some resources, https://www.vehiclesforveterans.org/free-mental-health-resources-for-veterans/

Remember, supporting for our veterans and advocating for mental health care should be a priority every day, not just on Veteran’s Day.

It is Cool to Be kind - From a Mental Health Perspective

November is upon us, and it’s finally starting to feel like fall. In many ways, this is a good thing; the air is cooling down, pumpkin spice is everywhere, and Thanksgiving is only weeks away. However, this also means the days are starting to get shorter, which can negatively impact mental health.

During this season it is especially important to be kind to yourself and others, as both those who give and receive acts of kindness experience improvements in mental health. There are so many ways we can be kind to one another, it’s impossible to list them all.

So, to keep it simple, here are 4 ways to be kind:

1. Express appreciation!

Saying “thank you” can go a long way. Acknowledging and valuing peoples’ effort always makes them feel good.

2. Offer help!

Whether it be giving advice to a friend or assisting a coworker with a difficult task, extending support to others will ease their burden. Being kind through both your actions and words really shows how much you care.

3. Practice small acts of kindness!

These include: holding the door for the person behind you, genuinely asking service workers “how are you?”, letting the person with fewer items cut in front of you at the grocery store, and so many more! While these might not seem like a big deal, they can make someone’s day.

4. Be compassionate!

We’re all human, which means nobody is perfect. Make the effort to treat yourself and others with patience, understanding, and empathy.

Kindness can go a long way. We do not realize how much treating people with empathy, compassion and love can really just let someone feel valued. Remember that you are amazing and we are thankful for you!

Therapists Share 5 Reasons to Embrace Your Fear

Fear is often portrayed in a negative light - as something we need to “defeat.” While it is important to not let fear prevent you from living your life, it is still okay to feel afraid. Fear helps us. It is an important emotion to have. Many of us feel afraid when we are in a situation where we do not yet trust or feel safe. Listening to how we feel in situations can help us learn to trust , connect with others and feel grounded.

Here are 5 ways that fear can be embraced, just remember:

1. Fear is a normal emotion, therefore being afraid is nothing to be embarrassed about.

Experiencing anxiety or fear does not make you weak. It makes you human.

2. Avoiding or denying your fear only allows it to grow.

It is better to acknowledge, embrace, and process your fear than attempt to suppress it.

3. Experiencing fear can be a sign you are stepping out of your comfort zone.

Trying new things can be scary but facing your fears will lead to personal growth.

4. Fear provides a sense of prospective.

In order to fully appreciate the feeling of calmness, you must also know what it is like to feel afraid.

5. You do not always have to “overcome” your fear, as it can protect you.

Sometimes feeling afraid is a warning sign that you should avoid something that could be emotionally triggering or physically dangerous.

Fear is a healthy emotion. Without fear most of us would be in threatening situations or living our life on the edge everyday. A helpful amount of fear is appropriate and well needed to feel balanced.

4 Ways to Have a Happy and Inclusive Halloween

Halloween is around the corner, and for many people, that means fun. However, Halloween can also be triggering for those living with a mental illness. During this time of year, it is especially important to be mindful of your needs and the needs of others.

Here are 4 ways to make sure your Halloween is fun, happy and safe for everyone in your community.

1. Recognize boundaries can vary from person to person –

Everyone has different comfort levels when it comes to costumes, scary movies, candy consumption, and haunted houses. Surround yourself with individuals who recognize and help you maintain your boundaries (be sure to return the favor). Attempting to “push someone out of their comfort zone” or questioning their reasoning behind decisions can create an un-safe environment and/or deteriorate their progress.

2. Be careful when commenting on other peoples’ bodies and/or eating habits –

Even if you mean well, pointing out how much/how little candy someone eats or how their costume fits their body can be triggering to those struggling with their body image and/or an eating disorder. Instead try focusing on all other aspects of Halloween. This is meant to be a fun time, creating healthy memories.

3. Understand and empathize everyone has different sensory capacities -

Halloween can be especially difficult for those on the autism spectrum. Decorations with loud sounds and flashing lights, as well as tight or uncomfortable costumes can overwhelm individuals with sensory disorders. Be aware that others may not be quite as enthusiastic about touch, being scared and some may not respond to social cues very well.

3. Be kind and supportive –

Extend support, compassion, and patience towards yourself and others. Make a point to use positive language and remain empathetic to those who seem to be struggling. Kindness goes a long way!

Enjoy your time while trick or treating, and participating in fall activities while being as inclusive as possible.

Back to School Burn Out - A Therapist’s Perspective

Back to school burnout is REAL. As a graduate student nearing the end of my degree, my biggest challenge is overcoming the idea that I just “took a bunch of time to rest” over the summer. I am supposed to feel fully charged, refreshed, and ready to go, right? 

Well, about 3 weeks into the “go mode” I now realize I am pushing myself too hard and I am starting to feel the first signs of burnout: fatigue, forgetfulness, loss of appetite, anxiety symptoms. 

It is okay and there are ways we can manage going back to school together. Here are some tips I have come up with over the years to avoid this back to school burnout:

1. Set reasonable weekly/daily goals.

   I am a week-to-week person so I typically like to begin on Monday with a list of things I would like to accomplish throughout the week, with the most important things first. I will then separate my list into days: when will I have the time to complete each task as it fits in with my week. The goal here is to provide yourself with some wiggle room. If you can only complete one task, that is okay- just make sure it is the most important one. You will get to the rest as soon as you can. 

2. Take breaks!

   They did not invent the wheel in one day! Sometimes long task lists take time and it is okay to give yourself time. Taking breaks for some of us can be difficult. Maybe we don’t know where to fit them in and we work straight through lunch or dinner. Others may take breaks that are so long they cannot get back into being productive. A great tool for this is to set timers. At the beginning of the day, as you assess your schedule, identify at least 2 places where you could stop for 10 minutes and eat a snack or go for a walk. Set those alarms in your phone and try your best to carve out time when they go off. 

3. Choose healthy relationships.

   A teen shared with me the other day, “you are the sum of your 5 closest friends.” The people that you surround yourself with can make you feel much better or much worse about your current situation. If your peers are often consumed with drama and negative attitudes, it is likely that they will begin to inadvertently bring you down with them. Finding people who maintain positive and productive relationships and attitudes will benefit you in reaching your goals and better managing your time! 

These tips may not rid you of all burn out, fatigue and anxiety but they can help to manage your symptoms. Knowing that we all have episodes of burn out can help us feel some level of comfort and relieve. You are not alone, and your struggles are real. Remember to make yourself a priority and focus on your needs too.

School is in Session, Take Care of Your Mental Health

Back to school season is here and just like that another school year begins! Sports, clubs, extracurricular activities, and crowded weekends have started and we want to make sure you are prepared, not only for the busy schedules and challenging coursework but to make sure you are taking care of your mental health. 

When life gets busy, it is easy to feel overwhelmed by the hustle and bustle of it all. It is common to fall into old habits and allow life to take us over, feeling out of control. First, I want to remind you that this is normal, we cannot expect to be on top of everything at every moment of every day- we are going to get behind. That is okay. 

But, since we do not want to stay down for too long, here are some quick back-to-school tips to keep you or your kiddos in good spirits to begin and end this school year strong. 

Do the best you can to use positive language when talking about yourself and others.

Positive self-talk has been linked to better problem-solving abilities and different, more constructive thinking patterns than those who do not practice positive self-talk. These problem-solving skills help build interpersonal relationships, reduce stress and anxiety, and aid in maintaining friendships. 

Positive self-talk can be applied in different ways, all to make life easier for you. Here are some examples you may be able to adjust your negative self-talk as early as today:

1. Catch yourself.

   Taking the time to reflect on some of the things you may be telling yourself gives you the opportunity to notice, and make adjustments sooner the next time they come around. 

2. Challenge those thoughts.

   Your inner critic can be a nasty fella, are they always being truthful though? Using positive affirmations can be helpful in challenging those not-so-nice thoughts. Instead of saying “I am never going to get this right,” challenge that thought with “I am doing my best, and my best is enough today.”

3. Put it in your pocket.

   This may seem silly, but it is not uncommon for some of that negative self-talk to really take over and make you feel stuck or unable to escape them. Sometimes, you just need to take a break. After you have identified your negative thought, put them in your pocket, and decide to deal with them at another, more convenient time. Chances are that you will forget you put it there or you will not be feeling as critical later after the moment has passed. 

Incorporate routines wherever you can. 

Routines are difficult to maintain when life starts to get busy, but I am not referring to the same typical routines you may have thought of your whole life- wake up by 7am, make breakfast, shower, be in bed by 9pm kind of routine- Instead, try to just maintain hygiene by showering once a day, brushing your hair if you need to, brushing your teeth twice, and changing your clothes. Building routines around diet and exercise habits, like making sure you go outside at least once or eating at least 3 meals a day, can also be helpful in making sure you are providing your body with enough nourishment and activity to remain on task in school or in your extracurriculars. 

Lastly, don’t forget to take breaks. 

Though it may be hard to force ourselves to slow down and take a moment to ourselves, it is necessary. Breaks prevent burnout and no one wants to be burnt out. Even if you do not think you need one, it may be helpful for you to schedule one into your week, give yourself a chance to listen to your body, and adjust based on your needs. You deserve a break. You deserve to respect your own boundaries.

Our Therapists Know Breastfeeding is Hard Work, Let's Talk About It

This week we celebrate all the benefits that breastfeeding can bring to both the health and welfare of babies, as well as a general awareness for maternal health, focusing on good nutrition, poverty reduction and food security. 

We are not here to mom shame or make anyone feel guilty about not being able to breastfeed.

This week is NOT dedicated to discussing the reduction of other options, in the cases of mothers who cannot breastfeed or choose not to breastfeed, but instead provide resources and access in communities where there are barriers to breastfeeding, like corporate policy, lack of privacy, or high demand for women in other spheres of the workforce.

Breastfeeding is a hard and tremendous job, we know that first hand. By normalizing and discussing what benefits breastfeeding can bring, it can decrease stigma, making these choices easier for women to make. 

This year, the objectives for WBW are as follows:

• Inform people about the importance of protecting breastfeeding.

• Anchor breastfeeding support as a vital public health responsibility.

• Engage with individuals and organizations for greater impact. 

• Galvanize action on protecting breastfeeding to improve public health.

This year also emphasizes the importance of breastfeeding, if possible, during the COVID-19 pandemic, stating “The benefits of breastfeeding and nurturing mother-infant interaction to prevent infection and promote health and development are especially important when health and other community services are themselves disrupted or limited. Mothers and infants should be supported to remain together, and practice skin-to-skin contact and/or kangaroo care whether or not they or their infants have suspected, probable, or confirmed COVID-19 virus infection.”

While the world feels like a gloomy place these days, it is easy to remember we are fighting so hard for the babies of tomorrow. Making sure that women have the appropriate means and access to relevant resources to give this next generation the best possible chance at creating a better tomorrow is imperative.

This may, of course, beg the question: What do relevant and appropriate means look like to aid women in having access to the resources they may need to breastfeed? 

The Fair Labor Standards Act covers laws for women in the workplace here, in America, stating that they must be provided basic accommodations while breastfeeding while at work. This is a global initiative though and not all countries have rights protected by law for mothers in this situation.

Mamas, we are in this together and by supporting each other we can make feeding our babies an easier task.

Talk about it, advocate for other mothers, be a friend in the workplace when someone needs help. The louder the conversation, the more change that can occur.

If you want to know more information about this or participate in live webinars on the subject, find more information here: https://www.paho.org/en/campaigns/world-breastfeeding-week-campaign-2021

What is Body Dysmorphia?

Body Dysmorphia, or Body Dysphoric Disorder (BDD), is a mental disorder in which you can't stop thinking about one or more perceived defects or flaws in your appearance. This is often a flaw that appears minor or can't even be seen by others. 

Body Dysmorphia, or Body Dysphoric Disorder causes you to intensely focus on your appearance and body image, repeatedly checking the mirror or grooming or seeking reassurance. This can sometimes last for many hours each day. Your perceived flaw and the repetitive behaviors will cause you significant distress, and impact your ability to function in your daily life.

You may seek out numerous cosmetic procedures, intense workout routines or diets,to try to "fix" your perceived flaw. Afterward, you may feel temporary satisfaction or a reduction in your distress, but often the anxiety returns and you may resume searching for other ways to fix your perceived flaw.

Body Dysmorphia, or Body Dysphoric Disorder can only be diagnosed by a mental health professional and treatment may include cognitive behavioral therapy or medication.

So, now that we have identified what Body Dysmorphia, or Body Dysphoric Disorder is, let’s talk about what it is not. 

Some of the biggest misconceptions about Body dysmorphia in the media is that this disorder can refer to the whole body. The center of Discovery for Mood and Anxiety Disorders explains the difference between BDD, body image disturbance and self-esteem to help differentiate what BDD really is.  Discovery explains BDD, “unlike body image disturbance, is when an individual is struggling with an over-emphasis on a specific body part as opposed to someone who is unhappy with his or her body size or shape.”

Body image, on the other hand, refers to how people view themselves as a whole. Negative body image refers to an unrealistic view of how someone sees their body while BDD is an obsessive pathological disorder. 

The important difference between body image and Body Dysmorphia, or Body Dysphoric Disorder is an anxiety disorder; more specifically is a type of obsessive-compulsive disorder.

So, now that we know the difference between this mental health disorder and negative body image, let’s uncover some myths regarding Body Dysmorphia, or Body Dysphoric Disorder, provided by the Center for Discovery, based on media perception.

Myth #1: Body dysmorphia is a type of eating disorder

Truth: Body dysmorphia is a mental health disorder, more specifically a type of anxiety disorder.

The DSM-5, Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition, classifies this mental health disorder as a type of obsessive-compulsive disorder because it is characterized by unwanted obsessive thoughts followed by compulsive actions. Eating disorders are based on behaviors surrounding food, exercise, and body image issues, but body dysmorphia is not always included in this criteria. 

Myth #2: Body dysmorphia is merely an extreme expression of vanity

Truth: Individuals with BDD delay seeking treatment for their disorder out of fear of being dismissed as vain.

Individuals with body dysmorphia genuinely believe there is something wrong with their physical appearance to the extent that it severely disrupts their social functioning. These individuals will often go to extreme measures to eliminate this physical “disfigurement.” These individuals are not seeking attention or any underlying gain.

Myth #3: Body dysmorphia goes away or dissipates when an individual reaches adulthood.

Truth: Although body dysmorphia is most common in adolescence the disorder will extend into adulthood and worsen if not treated.

Body dysmorphic disorder tends to grow stronger with time, and leaving this disorder untreated can have serious consequences. Studies have shown that nearly 80 percent of individuals diagnosed with body dysmorphic disorder experience lifetime suicidal ideations. Around 24 to 28 percent actually attempt suicide indicating this mental illness can be a lifelong issue that presents severe threats to an individual’s wellness regardless of their age or gender, within our culture. 

Myth #4: Undergoing a cosmetic procedure or plastic surgery will boost self-esteem for individuals with BDD.

Truth: Seeking plastic surgery or cosmetic procedures is a symptom of BBD, not a cure.

Between 26 percent and 40 percent of individuals with body dysmorphic disorder seek some kind of cosmetic treatment or surgery, but the majority of the time; they feel no satisfaction or relief from any surgical procedures and will even feel compelled to seek more cosmetic procedures. Underneath the obsession and the behaviors associated with body dysmorphic disorder there often lies anxiety, depression, and possible past trauma. To effectively treat this disorder and maintain long-lasting healing, the emotions underneath the diagnoses must be addressed. Cognitive behavioral therapy and medication are recommended as the most effective therapies for this disorder.

For more information and sources, refer to: https://centerfordiscovery.com/

Body Positivity Summer - A Mental Health Counselor Perspective

It is summer time and summers here in Florida is HOT. They often come with a few hurricanes or tropical storms sprinkled in, so we just want to check in and make sure you're staying safe. 

And as much as we care about your physical well-being, we care about your mental well-being, too. If you’ve been following up along on our instagram, you would see that we are focusing on body positivity and an optimistic mindset. Now, these topics seem great and easy in theory but are often difficult to navigate in our own lives. 

Social media is a huge proponent of social interaction within our generation and this makes the realistic beauty standard feel so high. There are also a variety of other reasons that teens and young adults may struggle with body image while bathing suit season is upon us. According to Mayo Clinic, the most common reasons for low self-esteem are...

• Natural or expected weight gain and other changes caused by puberty

• Peer pressure to look a certain way

• Social media and other media images that promote the ideal body as fit, thin or muscular and encourage users to aspire to unrealistic or unattainable body ideals

• Having a parent who's overly concerned about his or her own weight or his or her child's weight or appearance

• Seeing material in which a teen is seen as a thing for others' sexual use, rather than an independent, thinking person (sexual objectification)

Not only are our bodies supposed to change, mature, and grow, it is healthy for us to do so. Society and generational standards teach us that our bodies should stay the same as it does in high school, forever. This is simply untrue and unrealistic. Men and women alike go through huge changes in their teens and twenties that affect their hormones, their body fat composition, and the obvious appearance changes due to the addition of a baby, in some cases (yes, this affects men’s bodies, too).  

Parental influence also plays a large role in self-confidence and body image. Making sure that the message that is sent to your teens is realistic, accepting, and attainable is so important in creating well-rounded adults with the confidence to make healthy choices on their own. 

These risk factors can create many problems in teens and adolescents that can transpire in their adult lives. Some common effects of poor body image are: 

• Low self-esteem

• Depression

• Nutrition and growth issues

• Eating disorders

• Having a body mass index of 30 or higher (obesity)

It is important to be building the skills necessary to create a body positive environment for yourself, and those around you, to avoid the potentially harmful effects of poor body image. According to the Mayo Clinic, some of the best ways to provide a healthy and safe environment for your child or teen, or even for yourself, is to…

• Set a good example.

  How you accept your body and talk about others' bodies can have a major impact on you and those around you. Remind yourself that you exercise and eat a balanced diet for your health, not just to look a certain way. Also think about what you read and watch as well as the products you buy and the message those choices send.

• Use positive language.

  Rather than talking about physical attributes of yourself or others, praise personal characteristics such as strength, persistence and kindness. Avoid pointing out negative physical attributes in others or yourself. Don't make or allow hurtful nicknames, comments or jokes based on a person's physical characteristics, weight or body shape. It’s just mean. 

• Talk about media messages.

  Social media, movies, television shows and magazines might send the message that only a certain body type or skin color is acceptable and that maintaining an attractive appearance is the most important goal. Even media that encourages being healthy, athletic or fit might depict a narrow body ideal — one that's toned and skinny. Social media and magazine images are also commonly altered. Pay attention to what you are reading, scrolling through or watching and question what you see or hear. Let’s be realistic. 

• Counter negative media messages.

  Expose yourself to individuals who are famous for their achievements — not their appearance. For example, read books or watch movies about inspiring people and their perseverance to overcome challenges.

• Praise achievements.

  Value what you do, rather than what you look like. Look for opportunities to praise effort, skills and achievements in those around you to continue maintaining an overall body positive environment.

• Encourage positive friendships.

  Friends who accept and support you can be a healthy influence. In particular, friends who have healthy relationships with their own bodies can be a positive influence on you too. Find those friends, and do your best to be that friend, for those around you. 

Remember that all bodies are summer bodies, you are allowed to be the person you want to be and love your body for what it is, and you can choose to feel comfortable, just the way you are.

For more information and tips on creating a safe body positive environments for teens, and check our sources, check out this link: https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/tween-and-teen-health/in-depth/healthy-body-image/art-20044668

How to Start Becoming an LGBTQIA+ Ally

With Pride month upon us, as an individual not part of the LGBTQIA+ community, this month may be a little confusing for you. There are a plethora of flags, acronyms, and colors that make it a little difficult to be a competent ally. So, if there is someone in your life who is part of this community, and you are ready and willing to make some changes, stick around for a monthly guide to understanding your loved one. 

First off, let’s talk about personal gender pronouns. 

He/him and she/her are going to be the most common, you have probably grown up hearing them and do not need further clarification. But, for non-binary individuals, they may prefer gender neutral pronouns. 

Some examples of gender neutral pronouns can be as follows: 

• They/them/theirs (Spencer ate their food because they were hungry.) This is a pretty common gender-neutral pronoun and it can be used in the singular.

• Ze/hir/hir (Logan ate hir food because ze was hungry.) Ze is pronounced like “zee” can also be spelled zie or xe, and replaces she/he/they. Hir is pronounced like “here” and replaces her/hers/him/his/they/theirs.

• Just my name please! (Taylor ate Taylor’s food because Taylor was hungry) Some people prefer not to use pronouns at all, using their name as a pronoun instead.

Never refer to a person as “it” or “he-she”. These are offensive slurs used against trans and gender non-conforming individuals. Non-binary individuals are not always transgender or intersex, they do not feel as though the fit the typical role of man or woman in society. 

Transgender and Intersex people may be more difficult to conceptualize. Transgender individuals are those that identify with a gender other than theit sex at birth. Transgender individuals can be non-binary but often prefer a gender, relating most to either male or female. 

Intersex individuals are those born with any of several variations in sex characteristics including chromosomes, gonads, sex hormones or genitals that "do not fit the typical definitions for male or female bodies". Though this may seem strange, but being born intersex is just as common as being born with red hair, about 1-2 people out of every 100 people born. Typically intersex individuals do not know they are intersex until they hit puberty and this can lead to some kind of identity crisis, as you can imagine. This is not something we learn about in school and oftentimes we do not know, that is why it is so important to talk about it, and educate our peers to make sure everyone feels included. Similar to Transgender individuals, intersex individuals can be non-binary but often prefer a gender, relating most to either male or female, most continuing to idenitfy with their assigned gender at birth. 

So, you may be wondering, what is a non-binary person? 

Being non-binary is an umbrella term for the idea that that particular individual does not feel they can identify with the identities of being male or female- they reside outside the gender binary.

This concept may be confusing but it really just means that a person does not feel like a woman or a man… they just feel like a person… and though you may not understand why, that feeling is valid. 

Teen Vouge wrote a piece on the things people get wrong about being non-binary. You can read the entire article at this link: https://www.teenvogue.com/story/9-things-people-get-wrong-about-being-non-binary 

Our Therapists Know Infertility Is Isolating, You are Not Alone

Wanting to be a parent and not being able to is one of the most challenging emotions we can experience as a person. The longing to have a baby is made much harder during the month of May. This is a month dedicated to moms everywhere, and it just adds to the reminder of something we can not yet have.

These circumstances are all challenging. To be consistently longing for something that feels unattainable is exhausting and takes energy and anguish. On top of that, you have family members, friends, and neighbors asking questions about your lack of children or timing or your life. They all seem to be saying the wrong things and you’re not sure why they just don’t understand. 

You are not alone. 1 in 8 women struggle with infertility.

How can these conversations get easier? Myths and stigma can be reasons why individuals still struggle with the idea of infertility.

According to the National Association of Infertility, here are some common examples:

Myth: Infertility is a women’s problem.

Truth: This is untrue. It surprises most people to learn that infertility is a female problem in 35% of the cases, a male problem in 35% of the cases, a combined problem of the couple in 20% of cases, and unexplained in 10% of cases. It is essential that both the man and the woman be evaluated during an infertility work-up.

Myth: Don’t worry so much — it just takes time. You’ll get pregnant if you’re just patient.

Truth: Infertility is a medical problem that may be treated. At least 50% of those who complete an infertility evaluation will respond to treatment with a successful pregnancy. Some infertility problems respond with higher or lower success rates. Those who do not seek help have a “spontaneous cure rate” of about 5% after a year of infertility.

Myth: Why don’t you just forget it and adopt? After all, there are so many babies out there who need homes!

Truth: For many, adoption is a happy resolution to infertility. However, most people explore medical treatment for infertility prior to considering adoption. In addition, traditional adoption options have changed, and adoption can be more costly and time-consuming than expected. It is, however, still possible to adopt the healthy baby of your dreams. There are also many older children and children with special needs available for adoption.

Myth: Maybe you two are doing something wrong!

Truth: Infertility is medical and not do to sexual dysfunction.

So, now that we have covered some common misconceptions and myths, we can tackle how to handle the situation when someone you know is struggling with this.

Some important takeaways to be more aware and empathetic of while discussing someone’s infertility can be as follows: 

Do not minimize their emotions and struggle.

Ways people often minimize the struggles that a woman dealing with infertility may face would be telling them to relax, complaining over your struggles as a parent like sleep deprivation and busy schedules, expressing that there are “worse things that could happen,” or being crude and offering up inappropriate opinions to a person who is vulnerable. Though you may make these comments trying to sympathize or provide support, they are often not received with that same intent. 

Support their decision to stop treatment. 

Fertility treatment is difficult and time consuming. No one is going to continue doing it forever. It is likely that the couple’s decision to stop was hard enough as it is, it would not be helpful for them to feel judged or pressured in the process. This often leads down the path of adoption. Do not discourage them from adopting but on this same end, do not pressure them toward adoption. Ultimately, the way they wish to pursue their future family does not have much to do with you, and does have everything to do with them- let them make choices on their own. 

And finally, remember them on Mother’s day. 

On Mother’s Day we are often bombarded with a barrage of images, videos, cards, commercials, and gifts all dedicated toward mothers. Though we should not ignore the responsibilities and pressures a mother faces, it is a painful time for those who cannot become mothers. No matter if including them means sending them a card to let them know you are thinking of them or stopping by to be a support system, they will appreciate not being forgotten. 

Source and for more information, please read more at: https://resolve.org/support/for-friends-and-family/

Good Bye Mom Guilt - Hello Mental Health

Having the job of a mom, mommy or mama comes with many mixed emotions and responsibility. Your cute kiddies can bring you lots of love, connection and joy. We all know moms always try to put their kids before themselves.

Does having kids and being a mom mean all of your wants and needs are no longer important?

We often find, in all moms- new and experienced- we carry a LOT of responsibilities. These responsibilities can come with moments that make us feel lonely, isolated or that we are simply not doing enough. 

It can become natural for mothers to fall into a cycle of carrying the weight of what feels like the world on their shoulders and neglecting themselves in the process. It is also common for moms to question their ability to be a good mother. We have all heard those intrusive thoughts, just constantly asking yourself if you are doing it all wrong? Does that seem familiar? 

Mom guilt is that feeling.

The feelings of anxiousness, doubt, or worry that you may be falling short of your expectations in some way. The symptoms of mom guilt can be extensive, last for a long time, and can be intense and intrusive in nature. Sometimes you may even feel like nothing you do is right and you may discount your accomplishments.

This leads you to believe that you cannot do anything right and then this is where we struggle. No one is perfect and therefore, we cannot expect every mom to be either. You will make mistakes, you may not succeed in everything you try to accomplish, but this I know, your kids love you. Even when you feel like you may be falling short, kids are resilient and are often able to work through their problems with the help of empathy and mutual respect. 

So, what does that mean for you, as a mom?

You may not feel like you’re being a perfect mom. The reality is, you’re probably not. Mom imperfections are NORMAL. I do not know a single person who can complete multiple jobs and balance multiple tasks, all while making zero mistakes… Do you? 

Your perception of what a “good mom” or a “perfect mom” is, comes from a thought usually not created by you. It is a construct that you have been passed down by society, your mother, your husband, or maybe even the book we read to better prepare ourselves for motherhood. The fault here is that mothers do not need to be perfect. In fact, they need to be imperfect.

Responding to your mistakes, repairing things that you have broken, and addressing your flaws as a human can also aid in building your child's ability to overcome obstacles and tackle tricky interpersonal situations. 

Your child’s psychosocial health actually benefits from your imperfections. If you were perfect, your child would not have the opportunity to learn how to learn from mistakes, apologize, forgive, love, or be HUMAN. 

So, here is your reminder: You are doing great, even when you feel that you are not doing your best.