How to Start Becoming an LGBTQIA+ Ally
/With Pride month upon us, as an individual not part of the LGBTQIA+ community, this month may be a little confusing for you. There are a plethora of flags, acronyms, and colors that make it a little difficult to be a competent ally. So, if there is someone in your life who is part of this community, and you are ready and willing to make some changes, stick around for a monthly guide to understanding your loved one.
First off, let’s talk about personal gender pronouns.
He/him and she/her are going to be the most common, you have probably grown up hearing them and do not need further clarification. But, for non-binary individuals, they may prefer gender neutral pronouns.
Some examples of gender neutral pronouns can be as follows:
They/them/theirs (Spencer ate their food because they were hungry.) This is a pretty common gender-neutral pronoun and it can be used in the singular.
Ze/hir/hir (Logan ate hir food because ze was hungry.) Ze is pronounced like “zee” can also be spelled zie or xe, and replaces she/he/they. Hir is pronounced like “here” and replaces her/hers/him/his/they/theirs.
Just my name please! (Taylor ate Taylor’s food because Taylor was hungry) Some people prefer not to use pronouns at all, using their name as a pronoun instead.
Never refer to a person as “it” or “he-she”. These are offensive slurs used against trans and gender non-conforming individuals. Non-binary individuals are not always transgender or intersex, they do not feel as though the fit the typical role of man or woman in society.
Transgender and Intersex people may be more difficult to conceptualize. Transgender individuals are those that identify with a gender other than theit sex at birth. Transgender individuals can be non-binary but often prefer a gender, relating most to either male or female.
Intersex individuals are those born with any of several variations in sex characteristics including chromosomes, gonads, sex hormones or genitals that "do not fit the typical definitions for male or female bodies". Though this may seem strange, but being born intersex is just as common as being born with red hair, about 1-2 people out of every 100 people born. Typically intersex individuals do not know they are intersex until they hit puberty and this can lead to some kind of identity crisis, as you can imagine. This is not something we learn about in school and oftentimes we do not know, that is why it is so important to talk about it, and educate our peers to make sure everyone feels included. Similar to Transgender individuals, intersex individuals can be non-binary but often prefer a gender, relating most to either male or female, most continuing to idenitfy with their assigned gender at birth.
So, you may be wondering, what is a non-binary person?
Being non-binary is an umbrella term for the idea that that particular individual does not feel they can identify with the identities of being male or female- they reside outside the gender binary.
This concept may be confusing but it really just means that a person does not feel like a woman or a man… they just feel like a person… and though you may not understand why, that feeling is valid.
Teen Vouge wrote a piece on the things people get wrong about being non-binary. You can read the entire article at this link: https://www.teenvogue.com/story/9-things-people-get-wrong-about-being-non-binary
