5 Reasons to Start Family Therapy

A lot of the time families begin their search for a family therapist with the goal of improving the relationships and overall functioning of the members of the family. Typically, this can include anyone the members identify to be family and/or those who are involved in the issues currently being addressed. Family relationships are full of opportunities to grow. However, a lot of daily stressors could cause us to feel misunderstood by or even disconnected from the people closest to us.

If you’re unsure if you should seek for a family therapist, then here are 5 very good reasons you probably should:

1. Depression, anxiety, or mental illness: If there is even one family member in the family that is experiencing any form of depression, anxiety, or mental illness then there is probably a big likelihood that the rest of the family could also be being affected. You may think that those closest to you don’t notice, but they do and they worry. When this happens within the family, a therapist may be a great person to seek out as they can help teach you ways to navigate many of the situations you may be dealing with. This way, instead of pulling away from one another, the whole family can learn to support one another.

2. Separation or divorce: Divorces are very hard on many families, especially the children. A lot of the time, it feels like things are being turned upside down for not only the children but the parents too. A family therapist can play a very important role in helping you to remain whole and intact even during a separation or divorce.

3. The blended family: In our modern world, creating and even seeing blended families is pretty common. More commonly, when two people come together, it is very likely that they may have children from previous relationships and challenges typically tend to arise. During this time, a family therapist may be vital to help you navigate changes and challenges. They can aid you in creating a safe space for everyone involved and helping you make sure that each child feels loved and supported.

4. Dealing with loss: Loss is a very difficult thing to overcome whether in a family or out of one. There are many emotions such as extreme sadness, anger, guilt or maybe even some relief that someone or something close to us is gone. No matter what stages of grief you and your family are going through, a therapist can definitely aid in the healing process.

5. You live with a teenager: Teenagers are full of drama, hormones, and many emotions. Usually when children reach their teenage years, they feel misunderstood by their families and tend to lash out or even distance themselves. This makes it difficult for communication to flow the way it should within a family. If you feel like you are having a hard time communicating with your teenager, then maybe it's time you schedule a family session that will allow for a therapist to show the family tools that will allow for more open and clear communication.

Family therapy can bring families together. Our therapists are here to help you and your family overcome disagreements and unite you as a family.

3 Ways Therapists Suggest to Improve Your Self-Love

Have you noticed how often self-love is spoken about on a day to day basis compared to a couple of years ago? This is because people have started to realize that they need to prioritize their well being over their jobs and other obligations that spread them too thin. We all have a unique way of loving ourselves.

However, if you are unsure of how to start showing yourself some love, then here are three tangible ways for you to begin practicing self love.

1. Don’t compare yourself to others on social media:

We are all guilty of hopping on our social media apps such as instagram, twitter, or even tiktok only to see our favorite influencers do something amazing that may make us a bit jealous. Our internal dialogue tends to go “I wish I looked like her '', “I wish I had a loving relationship like that” or even “They got engaged? That seems so out of reach for me.” Well, maybe it's time to limit your time on social media, but if you do log on, start to challenge your thoughts. Remember that the images posted on social media are meant to show only the positive aspects of people's lives. No one wants to show the raw reality of life. We all have bad days, even our favorite influencers. Try to not beat yourself up for what you see online.

2. Clean out your closet:

Getting organized and getting rid of old things will eventually make room for many new things to come into your life. Sometimes cleaning up the clutter from our mind can start by cleaning up the clutter of our day to day lives. It’s time to let go of all those things you haven't used in over 6 months. Especially if they remind you of negative periods. Never chase things that have already passed, we cannot change the past but can always influence our future. 

3. Make a list of the things that are currently working for you: 

Self- acceptance is the main key to truly loving ourselves. A very simple way of getting to this point is to realize all the amazing things that you already have going and working for you. Once you see all the amazing things that are currently occurring in your life or that you simply have to look forward to, it will be easier to accept and love yourself completely. 

Improving ourselves and making changes can be overwhelming at times, but we promise that you can do anything that you set your mind to. Yes, even learning to love yourself. If you need any help coming up with a plan, we here at Serene Mind are also here to help you. We are simply a phone call or email away.

5 Self Care Practices - From a Mental Health Counselor

Many of us equate self care to a yoga session, meditation, or even a spa day. What we don’t realize is that no amount of stress relief activities are going to help us if we aren’t properly taking care of ourselves. Going to a yoga session, but getting barely any sleep is simply going to cause us to fall asleep. Similarly, not eating well and regularly does not allow us to fuel our bodies with nutrient-dense foods that would allow us to hit the gym at full throttle and relieve necessary stress.

Below we will be discussing different types of self care and why they are so vital in our day to day lives.

1. Physical Self Care:

If you want your body to work efficiently you need to take care of it. There is a very strong connection between body and mind. When you are actively taking care of your body by fueling it with nutritious food, sleeping well, being active, and caring for your physical needs your mind will also follow suit because you are overall feeling good about yourself and probably more energized too! Making sure to attend your medical appointments and take any necessary medication or vitamins is also a very vital point in good self care.

2. Social Self Care:

We humans thrive on social interaction. It’s no surprise that socialization is also one of the key components to great self care. Although it’s difficult to make time for friends and your relationships due to work and other obligations, it’s necessary to do so! Having close connections in your life is extremely good and important for your well being. You don’t need to force yourself to devote hours on end to your friends or even work on your relationships. It truly depends on what your social needs are. The key here is to figure out what your social needs are and to create time in your schedule to create the best social life for you.

3. Mental Self Care:

The things we constantly think about and fill our minds with will greatly influence our mental well being. Taking care of our mental health typically includes doing things that get your mind going. Do you want to learn a new subject or maybe try some new tabletop games? How about reading a new book or watching a musical that not only inspires you but gets your mind thinking. Mental self care as a whole simply involves doing things that help you stay mentally healthy. Simply practicing acceptance and positive affirmations helps you maintain a healthier inner dialogue.

4. Spiritual Self Care:

When spiritual self care is mentioned it mostly involves nurturing your spirit, but does not necessarily have to involve any kind of religion. It would simply be something that allows you to develop a deeper sense of meaning and understanding or even a connection with the world, universe, or nature. You can work on your spiritual self care by meditating, attending a religious service, or simply being in nature with yourself.

5. Emotional Self Care:

Emotional self care usually includes activities that allow us to not only acknowledge but express our emotions in a more safe and regular way. It is important to foster healthy coping skills that allow us to deal with uncomfortable emotions such as sadness, anxiety, and even anger. Whether you speak to a close friend, relative, or a partner about how you feel or you decide to set time for yourself to disconnect and process your emotions, it is very important to incorporate emotional self care into your life!

Self care is all about prioritizing your different needs. It is about making a strong internal foundation, so that you are able to provide this same love to others.

Prioritize Your Mental Health, Make it a Self Love Summer

Have you ever wondered why it’s important to practice self love? Well, there are actually various reasons why practicing self love is important. Self love as a whole motivates you to make healthy life choices that will benefit you instead of hinder you. You are more likely to choose the things that will be good for your well being and serve you well. Many of these things can take the forms of exercising, having healthy relationships, and even eating healthy. 

Ways to practice self love include:

1. Being Mindful:

   When you become more mindful you allow yourself to truly understand how you feel, think and even what you truly want for yourself. This allows you to practice self love and in time you will learn to love yourself more.  

2. Good self care:

   The people that have a high sense of self love partake in daily activities that are great for their mental and physical health. Things such as nutrition, exercise and proper sleep, intimacy and healthy social interactions. 

3. Creating healthy habits:

   Creating habits can be a bit difficult to get off the ground. However, taking a day to set goals and slowly plan on how to create those habits will allow you to start! Establishing a healthy set of dauly habits will allow you to grow that sense of self love. Do these things because you care about YOU, not because it’s something you feel you “have to do”.

Just remember that to practice self love you need to first begin by being patient, kind and compassionate with yourself the same way you would treat a loved one.

Summer is for Mental Health Days

Even during the summer we need a few things to help us disconnect from the hustle and bustle of work, meetings, summer classes and more. Summer is a calmer pace and taking it easy can help you boost your energy.

Since summer is practically around the corner, here are five things that could help you boost your mental health this summer:

1. Go outside -

Many studies have shown that stress is relieved within minutes of going outside. When time is spent in green spaces such as parks, grassy fields, or even a trail your cortisol levels drop. Cortisol is known as the stress hormone so reducing this can definitely improve your mental health. Nature also boosts endorphin levels and dopamine production which in turn promotes happiness!

2. Be active -

Exercise in any form can help to decrease anxiety, depression, and negative mood by improving self-esteem and cognitive function. It helps to improve our cardiovascular and overall physical health and even helps to reduce skeletal muscle tension which in turn allows you to feel more relaxed.

3. Stay hydrated -

Being dehydrated can lead to fatigue, mood swings and difficulty concentrating. Make sure to hydrate with electrolyte drinks to boost your energy and keep you going. Drinking water is good but you have to replenish what you loose.

4. Meditate -

Having time and space to clear your mind can help you feel more grounded and connected. Make time to meditate. Even 5 or 10 minutes can help you gain clarity and peace.

5. Start a new hobby you’ve always wanted to try! -

We all have a lot of things that we want to do but constantly put off. Since summer is around the corner, this means that it is the absolute perfect time to try that one thing you’ve always wanted to do. There is no better way to relax than to do something you truly enjoy. Doing something you enjoy and trying something new is definitely a way to boost your mental health this summer.

It is summer time and this is the best time to start a mental health routine. Making your mental health a priority now can help you keep going for the busy fall to come. What are you waiting for?

Revamp Your Self-Care Routine - From Our Therapists

From the moment we are sent off to school, we are forced to adhere to a certain standard of society that is not only mentally but physically taxing for us. We are forced into a routine or even this ideology that to succeed we need to work hard and long tedious hours. To a certain extent, this is indeed correct. To achieve our goals we do have to put in the work, dedication and time.

However, it is not okay to work so hard to the point of burnout or simply to the point that we forget to eat, shower, and give time to ourselves. So how do you go ahead and make sure you’re still taking care of yourself?

The answer is simple, we need to schedule self care.

You may think that scheduling time to care for yourself is hard, but even the smallest things can be a form of self care!

Here are 5 ways that you can start incorporating self care into your daily routine to help you unwind and feel happier.

1. Get moving:

Whether it’s taking your dog for a walk, taking a bike ride or even heading to the gym. These are all great things that you can do to get yourself active and moving. Daily exercise can help you both physically and mentally by boosting your moon and reducing the amount of stress and anxiety you may feel throughout the day. 

2. Go get dinner or coffee with a friend:

Getting dinner or coffee with a friend may not seem like a form of self care. However, it’s actually a form of emotional self-care. Although it isn’t a form of self care that lasts very long after you part ways, it definitely does allow you to benefit from a social connection.

3. Spend time in nature:

Spending time out in nature whether it be a park, the beach, a mountain trail or even your back yard is an amazing form of self care. A study by Lancet Planet Health that was published in 2019 actually states that spending time in a green space is associated with a lower mortality rate than those who do not.

4. Sleep:

Get at least 7 hours of sleep! Sleep has a huge effect on how we feel on both physical and emotional levels. If you are constantly not getting enough sleep due to work, school, and crazy deadlines..well, it can eventually catch up to you and cause major health issues. Make sure yout room is the best possible place for you to get good sleep. Meaning that there should be no distractions. This way you can guarantee good REM sleep.

5. Learn to say no to others: 

We typically find it hard to say no to others, however if you’re already stressed and overworked, saying yes to your coworkers or even loved ones can most definitely lead to lots of irritability, burnout and anxiety. It may take you a little bit, but once you practice enough you’ll be able to politely tell others no. This way you can prioritize more time for your own selfcare.

All in all, self care has a positive effect on your health as well as your overall outlook on life. However, you must have the intention and commitment to invest in your well being. By doing so we can not only take care of ourselves, but we can also start removing the ideology that those who prioritize their well being are selfish. Remember: It’s okay to take care of yourself.

4 Steps to Becoming a More Confident Person - From Our Therapists

Have you ever wished you could be a bit more confident? Do you constantly catch yourself comparing yourself to others and wishing that you could be just like them? Well, I want you to know that you are not alone! Many, if not all of us wish we were more confident. It’s something that we all seek and wish to improve on.

Here are a few things that you can do to help improve your self-confidence:

1. Think positive:

Thinking positively is very hard for us a lot of the time. Especially those of us who are juggling many different obligations. However, thinking positively is one of the ultimate keys to building self-confidence. You can go ahead and do this by focusing on one thing that you are happy or grateful for during the day. This can help you focus on the good instead of the negative. Learning to focus on the positives instead of the negatives will allow you to improve the confidence you have within yourself going forward.

2. Positive affirmations:

This might sound a little silly, but hear me out! When you wake up every morning, as a part of your morning routine go ahead and tell yourself something nice. How can you do this? Well, it’s super easy. All you need is to look in the mirror and say “ I am confident, I am beautiful, I am enough.” It does not necessarily need to be these exact statements, but something along these lines. What you’re doing here is giving yourself positive affirmations and eventually you will start believing these statements without having to say them to yourself daily.

3. Acquire a new skill:

Learning new skills always helps boost self-confidence! Why? Well, when you are enjoying yourself and you realize that you are good at a new exciting skill it ends up making you happy. Getting a grasp on a new skill, showing it to others, and having fun with it is a very easy way to help boost your self-confidence. Maybe book a class on something you’ve always wanted to try this weekend!

4. Change your posture:

Simply walking with your head up, making eye contact, and standing up straight can help you not only look, but also feel more confident. Here’s an example of this: If you are meeting a new person, instead of looking down at the floor, go ahead and make eye contact. This goes ahead and shows them that you are confident even if you don’t quite feel that way yet. Eventually by pretending you will begin to feel more and more confident.

All in all, being more confident all starts with YOU! Your mind will always believe what you tell it. If you continue to tell yourself that you aren’t confident, then you WILL believe it and your self-doubt will continue. However, if you tell yourself that you can do this, that you are confident and great, then your mind will believe that too!

You got this.

New Mommy Love - Postpartum Love from Our Therapists

The birth of a new member to any family can most definitely trigger a wide range of powerful emotions. These emotions can range from excitement and joy to great anxiety and uneasiness. Most of the time, the uneasy emotions, anxiety and even depression can last up to about two weeks, but in some cases they continue for longer periods of time. When new moms are experiencing this more severe, long lasting form of depression it is usually the sign of postpartum depression. 

For any new moms that may be reading this, we do want you to know that postpartum depression does not mean you are weak or flawed in any way. It’s actually very common in new moms. Studies show that postpartum depression actually affects 1 in 9 new mothers. Getting back to feeling like yourself may take some time, but know that it is possible!

We would like to provide you with 5 things you or someone you know could follow to help on their new mommy journey to improve postpartum:

1. Rest:

   It is very important that you rest as much as you can. Although extremely hectic, try to schedule your sleep time around your baby’s sleep time. If possible, see if someone can give you a hand so that you can rest. 

2. Get out of the house:

   Make time for yourself. Whether this is simply going out to get a massage, an ice cream cone, visit some friends, or even spend time alone with your partner.

3. Join a support group:

   It’s extremely easy to find a support group with the help of technology! This may be extremely helpful if you are needing that extra support. Many other mothers are going through the same thing. Learning about their experiences may be not only insightful but helpful.

4. Don’t do everything alone:

   I know that sometimes you might want to do everything. However, you deserve a break too! Ask your partner, family or even friends for help if you really need it. Asking for help doesn’t make you any less of a mother. 

5. Don’t make any major life changes:

   Giving birth and welcoming a new child to the world is already life changing as is. More major changes can cause you heaps of unneeded stress. Sadly, there are life changes that we simply cannot avoid. When those occur, please try to reach out to family and friends to arrange support and help you ahead of time. 

It can also be helpful to have someone you trust take care of the baby while you are managing postpartum depression. If you are currently feeling this way, don’t juggle it all alone. Tell a loved one or talk with a professional. It may not seem like it now, but it will get better. 

Your Healing Journey is Not Linear - A Therapy Perspective

Whether you have experienced mental or physical pain, healing takes time. When we scrape our knee the mark doesn’t go away over night. It has to heal and there is a process involved. When we are hurt emotionally how do we heal from that pain?

It is also a process. There are things we can do to help the process move along but it is important to know that everyone is moving at different paces.

Here are some ways to help you grow at your own pace:

1. Recognize that no one is perfect:

   The idea that perfection exists can stop us from making progress. We forget that we can be novice, make mistakes and learn.

2. Getting better, can make us feel all over the place:

   Self growth takes us wanting to sometimes feel a little worse, just before making the most progress and actually getting better. That is okay, lean into the discomfort and explore this area. You may find some answers you did not even know you had.

3. There is no right way to heal:

   Some may fall backwards and some may accelerate; healing is not the same for everyone. When we grieve for example; some people heal rather quickly and are able to get on with things for the moment but after a few months those people may start to feel more pain than they did initially. Some people may grieve for years. There are no step-by-step- lists for healing as people heal in different ways.

4. Be kind to yourself and having compassion for your own journey:

   Do what makes you feel comfortable and happy. If you are healing slowly, be comfortable with that and work from where you are. No one is feeling your personal pain but you and therefore no one has experience in how long it “should” take.

Talking with a professional can help you through a painful time or talk through past painful experiences. Everyone has a different journey and that is a beautiful thing. Healing takes time.

Mental Health is Health - Break the Mental Health Stigma

It is important to be healthy, both mentally and physically. The two intertwine. How can we have a conversation with a colleague, or get a good night’s sleep when we are consumed with worry and thinking of something else.

We get annual checkups for physical health but how can we keep healthy mentally?

1. Take care of your basic needs:

When we feel down sometimes we don’t want to take care of our basic needs. Drinking water, sleeping regularly, and eating healthy are little big things that contribute to our mental health. Not sleeping regularly can affect your irritability and patience.

2. Maintain healthy relationships:

No one feels good when they feel lonely. Listen to others when they are speaking to you and share with them what is going on. Being with friend can increase social activity which can make us feel better about not being alone.

3. Exercising:

Believe it or not, exercising can improve your mental health! Exercise takes your mind away from other things and can allow you to focus on the present moment.

4. Treat your self every now and then:

Even though we may feel bad about buying something or doing something just for ourselves think about how far something small can go. Stop for ice cream on your way home or get a fun face mask, do something for YOU.

5. Practice being in the moment:

When we worry about things that have not happened or have already happened to us we are not able to see what IS happening in front of us. We can lose sight of what is happening in our lives and our hobbies, relationships, and sometimes jobs can be affected. When we are able to see what is happening and understand it we feel less distressed.

6. Journal:

Writing your thoughts and feelings down can help clear your brain of thoughts that can cause fear or sadness. We can make charts and illustrations with color, you can write letters (if you plan on sending them or not), or you can make lists. Having a safe place for your private feelings can give you a sense of safety.

7. Talk with a professional:

We know to go to the hospital for a broken bone, but what about a major worry? Going to see a mental health professional is very similar! Professionals can help figure out what is wrong and help relieve the problem.

Mental health is health. By taking care of your mind, your body will thank you and you will be able to do more of what you love to do. It is a synergistic relationship, with balance we can achieve great things.

Our Therapists Agree, It is Okay to Have "All the feels"

There are many emotions that we experience from day to day; anger, joy, excitement, happiness, guilt, sadness, fear, jealousy and the list goes on. Sometimes our emotions can make us feel overwhelmed and can be hard to understand. Knowing that emotions are normal and healthy can help you in see them in a healthy way.

It is easy to see why it’s important to feel happiness and joy, but why is it healthy to have uncomfortable emotions? What can anger, sadness, or fear do for us? Can our emotions benefit others as well as ourselves?

1. Anger and Sadness-

A lot of times we become angry, but anger comes from being passionate about something. We may honk at a driver that pulled out in front of us but you do so because you are passionate about your safety or the safety of those in your car. There are healthy ways we can cope with and control our anger. We can always talk with a professional or a loved one about things that make us angry. We can also take a step back and think about why this particular thing is making you feel anger. Sadness on the other hand can be harder to control as the things that make us sad at times may or may not be helped. We may not be able to retake a test, or find something that we lost. This propels us to avoid feeling sad in the future for the same reasons. Being sad means you care, just like being angry does.

2. Joy and Happiness-

Conversely, happiness and joy are positive emotions. When we hug someone we love or do well at work we can feel joy and happiness. When we are happy we are more likely to do things like exercise and be with friends and loved ones. We can often share this emotion and others sometimes will join you in feeling happy too.

3. Fear and Worry-

Experiencing fear and anxiety can help us avoid dangerous situations and are healthy and at times positive. You may experience fear before you ride a new roller coaster or you may be worried about a job interview. We can do things to alleviate these worries; prepare for situations in advance and anticipate being nervous. Talking with a professional about your fears can also be helpful in working through them.

All emotions are okay to feel.

Without emotions we would just be a bunch of robots. Understanding that every emotion we have plays an important part of who we are and what we need, is the key to becoming more self aware.

Control Your Negative Thoughts and Reduce Unwanted Anxiety

As we move throughout our day we respond to different things that happen whether they are good or bad. You may get some bad news, or someone may cut you off in traffic and we have the ability to respond with either positive or negative thinking. We can choose to look at situations positively but this can be difficult when situations are problematic or overwhelming. Negative thinking leads to more negative thoughts, which in turn leads to feeling poorly. Telling yourself to “just think of the positives” can seem silly, as we certainly don’t want to think negatively.

So, what can we do to control our negative thoughts and reduce unwanted anxiety?

1. Challenge yourself to focus on what is good:

What are you grateful for in this moment? What about this current problem can be shifted to positive viewpoint? For example, not having a lot of money can cause you to think about the things you do not have but we can challenge ourselves to think of the things we do have.

2. Think of things that make you happy:

Stop and make a mental (or tangible) list of things that make you happy. Carry this around with you, or think of it often as the more often you recognize negative thinking the more awareness you will have.

3. Talk to a loved one or friend:

Sometimes our loved ones know what can make us feel positive even if we don’t feel like we do. Call or text someone you love and tell them to ell you their favorite memory with you, or plan to meet up with them.

4. Take a step back:

When negative thoughts enter your mind you can stop and take a step back. Ask yourself, is there any good in this situation? Even pausing for a moment can give your mind and body more time to respond.

5. Don’t let it affect your self-esteem:

It is easy to see negatives, but far more challenging to see positives. Getting stuck in a line of negative thinking is normal and happens to many of us frequently; be kind to yourself and remember that you have the ability to think positively.

Remember you do control your thoughts. It is a hard concept to understand if you are stuck in your own head. Take a step back and recognize that being self aware can help you overcome any thoughts that are setting you back.

5 Signs of Depression - A Mental Health Perspective

Depression symptoms can hit many of us hard, just like a wave of spring allergies. Depression is typically based on negative thoughts about ourselves that may be surfacing and it feels like these thoughts may have no where to go. It is hard to overcome these thoughts on our own, since they are trapped in our own head.

As we enter into spring and a warmer climate full of new beginnings it may be harder to recognize the symptoms of depression. Depression can present in different ways, but here are five major signs our therapists say can be a feeling of depression:

1. Low energy and fatigue-

Depression is mentally exhausting. Lacking motivation to make a meal or see a friend can be a sign of fatigue.

2. Becoming easily upset-

Profuse crying, angry lash-outs, and feeling the need to off-load your feelings are signs that you may be depressed.

3. No longer interested in things that used to bring joy-

Depression can make doing what you enjoy difficult. Maybe you once enjoyed painting, cooking, playing baseball, but no longer feel joy from it or no longer have an interest in it. We can also lose interest in our partners.

4. Hygiene starting to slip-

Things like brushing teeth, showering, and drinking enough water can become harder to do when we are depressed. Sometimes depression can bring on feelings of worthlessness which makes these tasks even more difficult.

5. Negative thoughts-

When we are depressed sometimes our thoughts can spiral downwards. These thoughts typically can be harsh and reflect poorly of who we are.

There are many symptoms of depression and many types of depression and they can be caused by a multitude of things. Talking with a professional can help you understand your depression and manage it. Depression is treatable and you can overcome these symptoms with the right team!

5 Benefits of Mental Health Therapy

Are you still questioning what therapy can do for you? Therapy is a great place for anyone who needs to learn, find support and guidance. In therapy, your therapist will be your facilitator. You will be encouraged to set goals, understand your emotions, improve your relationships and find new perspectives.

What does therapy offer me that my parents, friends, pets or other loved ones will not?

1. Meeting goals and setting realistic expectations:

• Often when you have your first session, or even throughout your sessions, you will create goals that represent the growth you want to achieve.

• Working with your counselor helps meet these goals. You can discuss over time how you are progressing and make changes when necessary.

• Counselors can also help gauge the scale of your goals and help you understand if they are reasonable.

2. Understand your own emotions: often we become distressed, we may not know why?

• Therapy can help you make sense of and understand your emotions. When you recognize what is happening in your body you can gain more control over your feelings.

• Learn about the chemicals and functions of your brain to help you understand how to create a healthy lifestyle.

• Recognize emotions to manage them.

3. Benefits you and your relationships:

• Therapy can help you learn how to best communicate.

• There are many relationships you may have all with different dynamics. Your relationship with your supervisor at work may be different than your relationship with your best friend but it is equally important to communicate effectively with both.

• Counselors can and will work with you on active listening, stepping back from conflict, setting boundaries, and working with others that do not agree with you. In turn, these skills can help build positive relationships.

4. Provide a safe place to process:

• Many people find comfort and reassurance in speaking with someone with no judgement.

• A counselor is skilled and has attended school to be able to help you, listen, and provide support and being open with your counselor is critical to problem solving

• The counseling room is a safe space to practice what your counselor is teaching you.

5. Find a new perspective:

• When we are in our own head it is hard to see anything past this point.

• We may think we are being logical but our own logic might be illogical.

• Through therapy you can shift your perspective and widen your sense of what is actually logical.

• This can help you regain a better sense of yourself and improve your relationships.

Therapy is a unique place where you go to reset your mind, learn about yourself and grow into the you, that you know you would like to be. The gift of therapy is called insight and no one can take this from you once you have experienced it.

Our Therapists Confirm, Asking for Help is a Sign of Self Awareness

Life is full of unexpected turns and zigzags. Sometimes life presents us with more than we can handle. We start to feel overwhelmed, sad, angry, confused or hurt. Accepting help may make you feel vulnerable, this is absolutely normal. When we open up and face our true feelings, we do become vulnerable. This vulnerability is what can help us heal, grow and show us just how strong we really are. When you ask for help you are able to accomplish more and feel better about yourself. When things start to become too heavy to carry an extra pair of hands can help. How do we know we need help and how do we get that help?

Knowing when to ask for help may be hard to figure out. It all starts with a little bit of insight, awareness and connecting with yourself. In society we are taught to be independent and to do things on our own. What society sometimes forgets is that everyone needs a little help, guidance and empathy.

Some signs you may be overwhelmed and needing more self awareness include:

1. You are easily upset:

   Our emotions are often pushed to their limit when we try and handle too much so the smallest things could cause an emotional response whether it be crying or becoming angry.

2. Forgetting things:

   Forgetting appointments or to call someone back; small things add up and could mean that you are not giving your attention to what needs it. On the other hand when we do recognize when we need help actually accepting it is another hurdle.

3. Feeling run down or empty:

   When we are overwhelmed with negative thoughts or emotions, our tank runs on empty and we begin to feel to feel down. This can cause fatigue and burn out.

4. Being hurtful towards yourself or others:

   As our emotions peak, we may not find relief. Sometimes this can lead towards behaviors that are destructive. We may take things out on ourselves or the people we love the most.

Here are some ways to start finding help, and therapy can be part of that help:

1. Research your options:

   What exactly do you need help with? There are many resources available to you when looking for help.

2. Know you are not alone:

   Sharing your problems and worries with someone else alone helps take the burden off of you.

3. Know others want the best for you:

   Some people may be eager to help because they have your needs in mind. It is okay to set boundaries in this regard.

4. Recognize that asking for help, is a sign of self awareness:

   Society may not recognize that asking for help is a game changer for many of us. Asking for help means we recognize we can not do everything, we need guidance and we are ready to grow.

Asking for help is a great step in feeling supported, loved and connected. When you ask for help, you are asking for empathy and validation. This is a sign of your own inner strength!

10 Keys to A Healthy Friendship - From a Mental Health Counselor

Friendship is an essential part of our lives. Friends can bring the joy, support, and companionship we need to thrive. However, not all friendships are healthy. It is important to recognize which friends are bringing positivity into your life, and focus on building upon those strong foundations, rather than expending energy towards a toxic friendship.

Here are 10 qualities to look for in a great friend:

1. They respect your boundaries

2. They build you up, rather than tear you down

3. They make you laugh

4. They support you during the good and the bad times

5. They are non-judgmental

6. They reciprocate the effort you put into the friendship

7. They are dependable

8. They actively listen to you

9. They love and accept you just the way you are

10. They are loyal and trustworthy

Remember, friendships are a two-way street; these are traits you should also strive to possess in order to be a great friend yourself.

Our Therapists Confirm, Love is Love

Love is love. This is a phrase that is quite self explanatory- love between any two people, regardless of sex, gender, religion, or race is still love. The last generation has paved the way to normalizing and celebrating the LGBTQIA community, and the newest generation is doing their best to continue in the fight for equality. But, regardless of the tireless efforts of normalization the love between ANY individuals, some of us are still in the dark on what LGBTQIA stands for, how to support your friends or family members who are a part of this community, or how to be an ally to those you may not know, but wish to support. Equality starts with conversations, so let’s talk about it. 

What does the LGBTQIA+ acronym stand for?

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Intersex, Asexual. These are just a few words that simply describe the vast spectrum of sexuality that exists within our society and culture. Gender and sexuality both exist on a spectrum and we, as individuals, have the right to decide how we feel, who we feel for, and how we identify ourselves within our own gender. Now, this may be difficult to understand, it may be hard to move on from our standard conceptions of gender roles and standards. 

So, how do you support your friends or family who are part of the LGBTQIA+ community? 

The first thing you could do is be open minded. Just because someone does not feel love or give love the way you do, does not mean it isn’t right for them. Simply due to the lack of support for people in this community, within their families and society, LGBTQ teens are almost three times as likely to contemplate suicide, and five times as likely to attempt suicide, than their heterosexual peers. The Trevor project is a great resource if you're looking to gain insight, understand the statistics, or see how you can help be an ally in your community. See the bottom of this blog for a link to their website!

But that brings up another question, how can you be an ally? What even is an ally?

Ally’s can come in many different forms. Just having a friend within this community is not enough to consider yourself to be a support system for them. Having unconditional positive regard for your friends in this community is. Showing inclusivity but also treating your friends or children the same way you would treat any other person who identified as straight. Ask questions. There is no shame in genuine curiosity. At the end of the day, love is love. So, there is no reason we should treat it differently, simply because it looks different.

Keep up with our Instagram stories this week to ask any questions you may have or to find resources to help be a support system @serenemindcounseling

To check out the Trevor Project, visit their website: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/about/strategic-plan-mission/

5 Keys to a Healthy Relationship - From Our Therapists

Relationships are tricky. There are ups and downs, unforeseen obstacles, and they require both partners to be putting in effort in order to last. While it’s true that every relationship is different, there are practices that can be generally applied to building a healthy relationship.

Here are some key components of a healthy relationship:

1. Communication:

Open and honest communication is arguably the most important part of a healthy relationship. Communication is a two-way street; you and your partner must be able to express thoughts and emotions, but also actively listen to what the other has to say. This will allow you and your partner to be on the same page and know what one another’s expectations are for the relationship. Do not be afraid to have uncomfortable conversations – bottling up your emotions rather than communicating them will hurt your relationship in the long run.

2. Respect:

In a healthy relationship, you and your partner must have mutual respect, even if you don’t always agree with them. Respecting your partner’s beliefs or boundaries means working to understand where they are coming from, and not trying to change them. Always treat your partner how you would want to be treated.

3. Boundaries:

Setting and respecting boundaries is a fundamental part of a healthy relationship. It’s best to clearly establish clear boundaries early on in the relationship.

4. Trust:

Trust is not given automatically; it is something that takes time and effort to build between partners. Show your partner, through both words and actions, that you follow through on commitments and keep your word.

5. Support:

Provide your partner with positivity and encouragement as you support them. The form support takes depends on your partner’s needs. Communication is key in determining how you can best support your partner.

Relationships are hard work. You have to nurture your relationship in order for it to bloom and become the type of relationship you want for yourself.

New Year, Better Me - A Mental Health Perspective

As we enter the new year, many people are setting their New Year’s Resolutions. Setting goals in the spirit of self-improvement and building healthy habits can be a great thing, but only when they are made with reasonable expectations.

Here are some tips for how to set realistic mental health goals for the new year:

1. Start small –

It’s important to set attainable goals to avoid being overwhelmed. Once you have reached a smaller goal, you can set a new one!

2. Be precise –

Be clear and specific in what you want to achieve. This will make it easier to determine the steps to take towards reaching your goals and keep track of your progress.

3. Give yourself plenty of time –

It would be unrealistic to expect a drastic change in your life after only one day. When setting goals, give yourself a reasonable timeline.

4. Strive for progress, not specific outcomes –

Goals do not always need to be met! You can still draw satisfaction from your achievements, regardless of the end-result.

5. Don’t give up –

Changing your habits and trying new things is hard. It’s okay to falter or take a few steps back, but don’t let this dissuade you from continuing to work towards your goals!

New Year’s resolutions do not have to be overwhelming, they can be simple and doable. Try your best, set yourself up for success and when needed ask for help. Goals do not have to be accomplished alone.

12 Holiday Affirmations for Your Mental Health

During this busy time of year, it’s easy to get swept up in holiday plans and focus more on the world around you than yourself. But as always, it is important to make the time to stay present and prioritize self-love. To nurture feelings of gratitude, peace, and cheerfulness during the holidays, practice giving yourself positive affirmations.

Examples of holiday self-love affirmations include:

1. I choose to love and accept myself exactly as I am

2. I deserve happiness and respect

3. I will treat myself with kindness

4. I am strong

5. I am worthy of receiving love from others

6. I am not selfish for setting boundaries

7. I am allowed to eat holiday treats without feeling guilty

8. I am brave

9. I will make the best of the situations I am in

10. I am proud of the person I am today

11. I will look towards the future, rather than dwell on the past

12. I am enough

You can say these affirmations out loud, in your mind, or write them down. You may not believe these affirmations in the moment, but that will change with time and repetition.