Embracing Self-Love: A Valentine's Day Journey through Mental Health

As the world celebrates love on Valentine's Day, it's crucial to recognize that love isn't solely about romantic relationships. It encompasses the most vital relationship of all: the one we have with ourselves. In a society often fixated on external validation, it's easy to overlook the significance of self-love, especially concerning mental health.

This Valentine's Day, let's embark on a journey of self-discovery, embracing the power of self-love and its profound impact on mental well-being.

Understanding Mental Health: Before delving into the depths of self-love, it's essential to grasp the complexities of mental health. Mental health encompasses our emotional, psychological, and social well-being, influencing how we think, feel, and act. It's a spectrum, ranging from flourishing to struggling, and requires nurturing and care, just like physical health.

Challenges of Self-Love: In a world inundated with unrealistic standards and relentless comparisons, cultivating self-love can be arduous. Many individuals grapple with feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and criticism, exacerbating mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. Moreover, societal stigma surrounding mental health often hinders individuals from seeking help or acknowledging their struggles.

Embracing Self-Love: Despite the challenges, practicing self-love is not only attainable but transformative. It involves fostering a compassionate and accepting relationship with oneself, recognizing one's worth beyond external achievements or validations.

Here are some strategies to embark on this journey:

1. Self-Compassion:

   Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer to a loved one facing difficulties. Embrace your flaws and imperfections with empathy, acknowledging that they're part of what makes you human.

2. Prioritize Self-Care:

   Dedicate time to activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul. Whether it's meditation, exercise, or pursuing hobbies, prioritize self-care as an essential component of your routine.

3. Set Boundaries:

   Learn to say no to commitments or relationships that drain your energy or compromise your well-being. Establishing boundaries is crucial for protecting your mental health and honoring your needs.

4. Practice Gratitude:

   Cultivate a mindset of gratitude by acknowledging and appreciating the blessings in your life, no matter how small. Gratitude shifts your focus from what's lacking to what's abundant, fostering a sense of fulfillment and contentment.

5. Seek Support:

   Don't hesitate to reach out for support from trusted friends, family members, or mental health professionals. Seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness, and can provide invaluable guidance on your journey towards self-love.

Celebrating Love in All Forms: As we celebrate Valentine's Day, let's broaden our definition of love to encompass all forms of affection and connection. Whether it's romantic love, platonic love, or self-love, each holds immense significance in enriching our lives and nurturing our mental health. By embracing self-love, we not only enhance our well-being but also cultivate deeper, more authentic relationships with others.

This Valentine's Day, let's embark on a journey of self-love and mental well-being. By prioritizing self-compassion, self-care, and gratitude, we can overcome challenges and embrace our true selves wholeheartedly. Remember, love begins within, and by nurturing our relationship with ourselves, we pave the way for a brighter, more fulfilling future. Happy Valentine's Day, from me to you – may your heart be filled with love, today and always.

Helpful Tips for Rebuilding Trust in Relationships: How to Overcome Trust Issues with Couples Counseling

If your partner were to leave for a day without communicating where they went, how would that make you feel? Would you not even consider it, would you be concerned, or would you immediately call them to find out where they are? Regardless of how you navigate the situation, these are all trust-related emotions, and today we want to talk about how to navigate the process of rebuilding trust in relationships.

Trust is an essential ingredient for any flourishing relationship.

Unfortunately, that trust can be damaged for a variety of reasons, such as betrayal, past hurt, and deception. The process of rebuilding shattered trust is difficult but not impossible; all that is required is a commitment from both parties involved.

Here are some helpful tips from the Serene Mind Counseling and Evaluations team for rebuilding trust and easing back into a healthy relationship:

1. Seek Professional Help:

   Couples counseling can provide a safe and supportive environment for couples to address trust issues. A trained therapist can help couples identify the underlying issues that led to the breakdown in trust and provide tools and strategies for rebuilding it. Couples counseling can help partners discover creative solutions to their problems, create healthy boundaries, and strengthen communication overall. Ultimately, it’s up to you and your partner to decide when to take this important first step. 

2. Take Responsibility:

   Rebuilding trust requires both partners to take responsibility for their actions. The partner who has broken trust needs to take ownership of their behavior and express genuine remorse. The other partner needs to be willing to forgive and move forward, if possible, however, give yourself grace in this as this may take a bit of time depending on the situation. This is only possible if both partners feel safe together and commit to rebuilding trust and creating a healthy relationship in the first place.

3. Be Patient:

   We touched on this briefly but rebuilding trust takes time and patience. It's important to be realistic and understand that trust won't be restored overnight. To say it's a process is a HUGE understatement. Couples who really want to make things work should be willing to take the time needed to rebuild trust and work through any issues that may arise.

4. Communicate Effectively:

   Which leads to our last point, communication is key! Partners need to be open and honest with each other about their thoughts, feelings, and concerns. It's important to listen actively and avoid being defensive or judgmental. When conflict arises try your best to make an effort to communicate regularly and check in with each other frequently to ensure you're on the same page. For instance, if you or your partner are dealing with feelings of betrayal after infidelity in a relationship, try setting aside time to talk about the situation, without interruptions or distractions. Use "I" statements to express feelings and avoid blaming or accusing language. For example, the hurt partner may say, "I feel hurt and betrayed by what happened" instead of "You cheated on me and broke my trust." This might feel difficult at first, but over time it will help rebuild the trust that was originally lost.

Rebuilding trust in a relationship can be challenging, and we know your issues and questions about trust will not be resolved just by reading this, but with the help of a trained therapist and a commitment to rebuilding trust, it's very possible for couples to create a healthy and fulfilling relationship together again. 

If you are struggling with trust issues, consider seeking professional help from our team atSerene Mind Counseling and Evaluations. We can give you the help and direction you need to rebuild your relationship in a gentle way. If you live in the Tampa area and are looking for couples counseling, don’t hesitate to contact us. We look forward to hearing from you!

Our Therapists Confirm, Love is Love

Love is love. This is a phrase that is quite self explanatory- love between any two people, regardless of sex, gender, religion, or race is still love. The last generation has paved the way to normalizing and celebrating the LGBTQIA community, and the newest generation is doing their best to continue in the fight for equality. But, regardless of the tireless efforts of normalization the love between ANY individuals, some of us are still in the dark on what LGBTQIA stands for, how to support your friends or family members who are a part of this community, or how to be an ally to those you may not know, but wish to support. Equality starts with conversations, so let’s talk about it. 

What does the LGBTQIA+ acronym stand for?

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Intersex, Asexual. These are just a few words that simply describe the vast spectrum of sexuality that exists within our society and culture. Gender and sexuality both exist on a spectrum and we, as individuals, have the right to decide how we feel, who we feel for, and how we identify ourselves within our own gender. Now, this may be difficult to understand, it may be hard to move on from our standard conceptions of gender roles and standards. 

So, how do you support your friends or family who are part of the LGBTQIA+ community? 

The first thing you could do is be open minded. Just because someone does not feel love or give love the way you do, does not mean it isn’t right for them. Simply due to the lack of support for people in this community, within their families and society, LGBTQ teens are almost three times as likely to contemplate suicide, and five times as likely to attempt suicide, than their heterosexual peers. The Trevor project is a great resource if you're looking to gain insight, understand the statistics, or see how you can help be an ally in your community. See the bottom of this blog for a link to their website!

But that brings up another question, how can you be an ally? What even is an ally?

Ally’s can come in many different forms. Just having a friend within this community is not enough to consider yourself to be a support system for them. Having unconditional positive regard for your friends in this community is. Showing inclusivity but also treating your friends or children the same way you would treat any other person who identified as straight. Ask questions. There is no shame in genuine curiosity. At the end of the day, love is love. So, there is no reason we should treat it differently, simply because it looks different.

Keep up with our Instagram stories this week to ask any questions you may have or to find resources to help be a support system @serenemindcounseling

To check out the Trevor Project, visit their website: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/about/strategic-plan-mission/

What is Body Dysmorphia?

Body Dysmorphia, or Body Dysphoric Disorder (BDD), is a mental disorder in which you can't stop thinking about one or more perceived defects or flaws in your appearance. This is often a flaw that appears minor or can't even be seen by others. 

Body Dysmorphia, or Body Dysphoric Disorder causes you to intensely focus on your appearance and body image, repeatedly checking the mirror or grooming or seeking reassurance. This can sometimes last for many hours each day. Your perceived flaw and the repetitive behaviors will cause you significant distress, and impact your ability to function in your daily life.

You may seek out numerous cosmetic procedures, intense workout routines or diets,to try to "fix" your perceived flaw. Afterward, you may feel temporary satisfaction or a reduction in your distress, but often the anxiety returns and you may resume searching for other ways to fix your perceived flaw.

Body Dysmorphia, or Body Dysphoric Disorder can only be diagnosed by a mental health professional and treatment may include cognitive behavioral therapy or medication.

So, now that we have identified what Body Dysmorphia, or Body Dysphoric Disorder is, let’s talk about what it is not. 

Some of the biggest misconceptions about Body dysmorphia in the media is that this disorder can refer to the whole body. The center of Discovery for Mood and Anxiety Disorders explains the difference between BDD, body image disturbance and self-esteem to help differentiate what BDD really is.  Discovery explains BDD, “unlike body image disturbance, is when an individual is struggling with an over-emphasis on a specific body part as opposed to someone who is unhappy with his or her body size or shape.”

Body image, on the other hand, refers to how people view themselves as a whole. Negative body image refers to an unrealistic view of how someone sees their body while BDD is an obsessive pathological disorder. 

The important difference between body image and Body Dysmorphia, or Body Dysphoric Disorder is an anxiety disorder; more specifically is a type of obsessive-compulsive disorder.

So, now that we know the difference between this mental health disorder and negative body image, let’s uncover some myths regarding Body Dysmorphia, or Body Dysphoric Disorder, provided by the Center for Discovery, based on media perception.

Myth #1: Body dysmorphia is a type of eating disorder

Truth: Body dysmorphia is a mental health disorder, more specifically a type of anxiety disorder.

The DSM-5, Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition, classifies this mental health disorder as a type of obsessive-compulsive disorder because it is characterized by unwanted obsessive thoughts followed by compulsive actions. Eating disorders are based on behaviors surrounding food, exercise, and body image issues, but body dysmorphia is not always included in this criteria. 

Myth #2: Body dysmorphia is merely an extreme expression of vanity

Truth: Individuals with BDD delay seeking treatment for their disorder out of fear of being dismissed as vain.

Individuals with body dysmorphia genuinely believe there is something wrong with their physical appearance to the extent that it severely disrupts their social functioning. These individuals will often go to extreme measures to eliminate this physical “disfigurement.” These individuals are not seeking attention or any underlying gain.

Myth #3: Body dysmorphia goes away or dissipates when an individual reaches adulthood.

Truth: Although body dysmorphia is most common in adolescence the disorder will extend into adulthood and worsen if not treated.

Body dysmorphic disorder tends to grow stronger with time, and leaving this disorder untreated can have serious consequences. Studies have shown that nearly 80 percent of individuals diagnosed with body dysmorphic disorder experience lifetime suicidal ideations. Around 24 to 28 percent actually attempt suicide indicating this mental illness can be a lifelong issue that presents severe threats to an individual’s wellness regardless of their age or gender, within our culture. 

Myth #4: Undergoing a cosmetic procedure or plastic surgery will boost self-esteem for individuals with BDD.

Truth: Seeking plastic surgery or cosmetic procedures is a symptom of BBD, not a cure.

Between 26 percent and 40 percent of individuals with body dysmorphic disorder seek some kind of cosmetic treatment or surgery, but the majority of the time; they feel no satisfaction or relief from any surgical procedures and will even feel compelled to seek more cosmetic procedures. Underneath the obsession and the behaviors associated with body dysmorphic disorder there often lies anxiety, depression, and possible past trauma. To effectively treat this disorder and maintain long-lasting healing, the emotions underneath the diagnoses must be addressed. Cognitive behavioral therapy and medication are recommended as the most effective therapies for this disorder.

For more information and sources, refer to: https://centerfordiscovery.com/

How to Start Becoming an LGBTQIA+ Ally

With Pride month upon us, as an individual not part of the LGBTQIA+ community, this month may be a little confusing for you. There are a plethora of flags, acronyms, and colors that make it a little difficult to be a competent ally. So, if there is someone in your life who is part of this community, and you are ready and willing to make some changes, stick around for a monthly guide to understanding your loved one. 

First off, let’s talk about personal gender pronouns. 

He/him and she/her are going to be the most common, you have probably grown up hearing them and do not need further clarification. But, for non-binary individuals, they may prefer gender neutral pronouns. 

Some examples of gender neutral pronouns can be as follows: 

• They/them/theirs (Spencer ate their food because they were hungry.) This is a pretty common gender-neutral pronoun and it can be used in the singular.

• Ze/hir/hir (Logan ate hir food because ze was hungry.) Ze is pronounced like “zee” can also be spelled zie or xe, and replaces she/he/they. Hir is pronounced like “here” and replaces her/hers/him/his/they/theirs.

• Just my name please! (Taylor ate Taylor’s food because Taylor was hungry) Some people prefer not to use pronouns at all, using their name as a pronoun instead.

Never refer to a person as “it” or “he-she”. These are offensive slurs used against trans and gender non-conforming individuals. Non-binary individuals are not always transgender or intersex, they do not feel as though the fit the typical role of man or woman in society. 

Transgender and Intersex people may be more difficult to conceptualize. Transgender individuals are those that identify with a gender other than theit sex at birth. Transgender individuals can be non-binary but often prefer a gender, relating most to either male or female. 

Intersex individuals are those born with any of several variations in sex characteristics including chromosomes, gonads, sex hormones or genitals that "do not fit the typical definitions for male or female bodies". Though this may seem strange, but being born intersex is just as common as being born with red hair, about 1-2 people out of every 100 people born. Typically intersex individuals do not know they are intersex until they hit puberty and this can lead to some kind of identity crisis, as you can imagine. This is not something we learn about in school and oftentimes we do not know, that is why it is so important to talk about it, and educate our peers to make sure everyone feels included. Similar to Transgender individuals, intersex individuals can be non-binary but often prefer a gender, relating most to either male or female, most continuing to idenitfy with their assigned gender at birth. 

So, you may be wondering, what is a non-binary person? 

Being non-binary is an umbrella term for the idea that that particular individual does not feel they can identify with the identities of being male or female- they reside outside the gender binary.

This concept may be confusing but it really just means that a person does not feel like a woman or a man… they just feel like a person… and though you may not understand why, that feeling is valid. 

Teen Vouge wrote a piece on the things people get wrong about being non-binary. You can read the entire article at this link: https://www.teenvogue.com/story/9-things-people-get-wrong-about-being-non-binary