What is a Support Group and is it Right for Me?

Support groups allow people to talk openly about problems and stressors with others who may be going through similar issues. These groups’ purpose is to help build community and connection while working towards a common goal. At Serene Mind Counseling, our groups are run by one of our therapists or counselors on staff. Here are some things you should know before you go to a support group.  

Who are support groups for?

Support groups are for people to come together, share and discuss. It is a safe space to unite and collaborate. Our group therapist facilitator will host and have a new theme each week. Groups are meant to create a sense of community. We are all about growing and sharing together.

What do you do during support groups?  

Support group activities include discussing what might be causing problems or talking about our emotions. Not everyone has people in their lives that they can discuss these things with, so having groups with others going through similar stressors or can relate to what you are going through can help tremendously. Other activities include giving attendees journaling prompts or other tasks to do in-between sessions. We share amongst our group to help you draw perspectives and connections during the group.  

What if I miss a session? 

It’s no big deal! Life happens, and other commitments get in the way; it’s important we don’t beat ourselves up about things that might be out of our control. If you can’t make it for one or two sessions, no big deal, try to come to the next one. These groups aren’t going anywhere and will be here for you when you can make it. New people are coming to every session, so don’t feel like you’ll be behind if you don’t come for a session or two.  

What if this group isn’t right for me? 

Like with friends, coworkers, or even family, we might not click with people right away or even at all. It is not the fault of them or us just that each person’s personality, interests, or needs are different from what we need or can give. We don’t let that stop us from finding others we click with, the same goes for support groups. We might just not mesh with the people in it or not have a good experience. Please don’t let this deter you from seeking help; give it 2 or 3 sessions to make a fully informed decision and come in with an open mind, if the group still isn’t for you, that's okay. This doesn’t mean that another group won’t be right for you, find another group and try again. 

How to Support the Women in Your Life

Being a woman is hard work. We live busy lives and are expected to have multiple responsibilities. We are always on the go, trying to do more to satisfy the people around us. The expectations placed upon on us by our kids, families and society can be greatly consuming. Our world is not always the most empathetic place towards people who want to slow down, take a break or recharge.

Here are 4 ways to support women and lift each other up:

1. Set realistic expectations:

   Having expectations that are realistic can help encourage everyone to do the best they can without creating unwanted pressure. The pressure we feel as women to navigate both home and work life is already daunting. Having boundary that gives us space to navigate home life and work life at different times of the day, can help create a better balance and let us take a moment to focus on one task at a time. This can in turn make us more productive and reduce stress.

2. Ask them if they need help:

   It is okay to see your mom or wife and ask them if they need help. It is also okay for a woman to say yes to accepting help. Sometimes we get so caught up in our own needs and self worth that we forget we can pause and ask for help. Asking for help is a sign of self awareness and it means you are more in tune with your needs.

3. Ask them how they are feeling:

   On the same note, it is okay to ask a woman how they feel. Sometimes giving us space to talk about how we actually feel can help ground us and reconnect us to what is actually important. When we get caught up in the everyday go, go, go of life we forget to pause and enjoy the life we have created and the people around us.

4. Remind them to take a break:

   Tell the women in your life the importance of resting, reseting and relaxing. We are told that our society only values the constant worker and the one who does the most. The opposite is actually needed at times. the more we learn that everything we have is in the right here and right now, the more fortunate we can actually see that we are. We do not need anything more, we have it all and now can take a moment to rest.

Women are at times undervalued and this can present setbacks for many of us. We are the doers, the go getters, the soccer moms and caretakers. Women are known to neglect themselves. By realizing that taking time to rest and support each other can actually be healthy and healing, we can become the best version of ourselves.

Do you want more support from women like you? Come join our Women’s Group, every last Friday of the month from 6 pm to 7:30 pm.

Prioritize Your Mental Health: Do Not Ignore These Signs of Burn Out

Many of us have felt the heaviness of responsibility. Some of us have felt the stress of obligation. Staying up late to finish left over work or to meet a deadline? Checking work emails and accepting calls or texts while off the clock? Agreeing to do more work to cover for a coworker?

Are the projects piling up?

When these types of scenarios pop up, it is easy to think “just this once”, or “I’ll make sure this won’t happen again”. Over time, the weight of these emotions and dynamics can lead to burnout. In a culture filled with constant stimulation, over drive, and expectations, burn out has become increasingly common.

With mindful self-care and boundaries, we can prevent burnout.

What are some signs of burnout?

1) Lack of Motivation-Avoiding and ignoring tasks, difficulty to instill effort

2) Feelings of Defeat and Hopelessness-Feeling like you can’t complete tasks or even show up

3) Performance and productivity decline-Making mistakes, taking constant breaks

4) Change in emotional demeanor-Feeling sad, anxious, angry, or frustrated

5) Concentration challenges-Feeling easily distracted

6) Detachment- Not feeling invested in or caring about the work you do

If you feel you are struggling with burnout, here are some important self-reflection questions to ask yourself:

1) Why do I feel the need or obligation to take on extra work?

2) What are the ramifications of a decline of performance and productivity on my part?

3) What is my body telling me about how I am feeling emotionally with my circumstances?

Take some time to understand and reflect on your situation and ask for additional supports if you need it. Don’t be afraid to ask for help!

How can I heal from burnout?

Recovering from a period of burnout takes time. Instilling effort to recover can often be extremely challenging when you are burnt out and running on an empty tank. Sometimes the best action to take when experiencing burn out is to leave the environment in order to heal, but sometimes you can remain in the same place with a shift of boundaries and expectations.

Here are some simple tips you can add into your day little by little to aid in recovering from burn out:

 Take a break or vacation (if feasible)

 Try to slowly add in some sprinkles of extra self-care throughout your day

 Carve out some time in nature for a walk or quiet time

 Unplug consistently

 Eat away from your desk

 Don’t check emails/turn off your phone after business hours

 Eat nourishing meals & stay hydrated

 Connect with friends, family, or a mental health professional to process your feelings

If you feel you’ve fallen into a pit of burnout, you CAN make your way out of that cycle with time and support. Do you feel stuck and need some extra help? We are here to help. Email us at hello@serenemindpsych.com or give us a call at 813.321.8280 to set up an intake appointment to see if one of our therapists can aid you in your healing journey.

How + Why to Prioritize Your Self Care

In a culture and society that is all about the hustle and bustle, self-care often takes a backseat to things we find ”productive” like work, exercise, and chores around the house. What is important to learn is that self-care is productive, and very important for our health and wellbeing. Self-care helps us give our minds a break and to relax.

Unplugging from the constant stimulation of texts, busy work schedules, to-do lists and helps us feel more into our parasympathetic nervous system and release from the on-edge feelings of always being connected.

Taking the time for self-care will actually improve your productivity- helping you feel energized and refreshed.

• Eat Well

• With our fast-paced lifestyle, it is easy to swing by a drive-thru fast-food restaurant or pick up a grab-n-go meal from your local grocery store. Grant yourself just 30 minutes each week to create a meal plan for yourself. Meal prepping is helpful to create an easy and quick meal that can be stored in the fridge and heated up in minutes. By taking a small amount of time during the week to prep and plan meals, you are saving more time (and money!) in the long run- not to mention fueling yourself with higher quality ingredients and important nutrients that fast food and frozen/prepackaged meals can’t provide.

• Take a Break from Social Media

• Find yourself constantly scrolling? This is a hint that you may be overstimulated or bored. Let yourself rest by unplugging, even if it is just for an hour. Constantly staying connected keeps our brains on overdrive, taking away from the present moment.

• Maintain your Sleep Schedule

• Up late to meet that deadline? Staying up to cram for an exam? Indulging in a Netflix marathon until 2am? When these habits pile up, it starts to take a toll on your physical, and even mental health. Sleep is the body’s way of regenerating, and it should be treated as a non- negotiable self-care routine. Create a schedule that works best for you and try to stick with it. Go to bed around the same time each night so your body creates a natural rhythm. Waking up feeling rested and refreshed will help you feel even more productive in your day-to-day tasks and activates.

• Social Time

• Connect with you friends (in person!) Need we say more? Social time is so important for our health and wellbeing. Feeling connected and that we belong is crucial to our sense of self-esteem and emotional health. Call up a friend or family member and make plans, even if it is just for a quick coffee meet-up. Even short interactions can help foster and nourish the foundation of our relationships and help us feel supported and secure.

• Get Bored; Embrace Leisure

• It is easy to pick up your phone and scroll when you are feeling bored or uneasy. When you’re feeling bored, let the creativity take over. Pick up the paintbrushes and create something new! Or maybe grab your notebook and start those journaling prompts you’ve been piling up. Sign up for that last minute cycle class.

• When you give yourself space to be bored and have free time, you’ll start to remember the things you enjoy and want to engage in more often. Sometimes the spur of the moment leisure activities can spark even more creativity and inspiration in other areas of your life!

Looking for a therapist or life coach to help you on your self-care journey? We are here to help. Email us at hello@serenemindpsych.com or give us a call at 813.321.8280 to set up an intake appointment to see if one of our therapists can aid you in your healing journey.

Relationship Therapists Share: What are the Signs of a Codependent Relationship?

Codependent relationships are more common than we realize. These relationships are not only present in romantic partners; but can also be a dysfunctional dynamic in friendships, parent/child relationships, and even work relationships.

Codependent behaviors generally stem from social childhood or your teen years. Some factors that can contribute to these behaviors are:

- Experiencing abuse

- Having a parent or family member who suffers from an addiction, illness, or other health impairment

- Growing up with a controlling parent or caregiver

- Experiencing abandonment

- Experiencing divorce

- Being bullied as a child

In a codependent relationship, there is a person who is a caretaker and a person who takes advantage of the caretaking behaviors. Both individuals in the relationship are dependent on the behaviors of the other, feeling like they need the other person in their lives to function.

There is a need to be needed for the caretaker, and a need to be taken care of from the other individual in the relationship. There are several indicators that you could possibly be in a codependent relationship.

Here are a few factors to help you determine if you are:

People Pleasing

Putting your needs aside to please your partner or other party in your relationship is a main sign of a codependent relationship. At first, these actions may seem like a loving gesture of compassion, but then start to spiral into an unhealthy habit. The caretaking individual in the relationship often values the opinions of others rather than listening to their own intuition or following their preferences.

They want to make others happy, in fear that others won’t love or even like them anymore if they push back or disagree. Often times, the caretaker does not like to make decisions without the approval and input of the other individual of their codependent relationship, or even others in their lives. People pleasing becomes a currency to be liked or loved by others- needing this affection from others, but especially the other person in the codependent relationship. This stems from the codependent relationship and can start to bleed into other relationships.

Lack of Boundaries

The concept of emotional (and sometimes physical) boundaries can be blurred in codependent relationships. For the caretaking individual, they may feel underappreciated by the other person; yet continue to please them and be mistreated. They may offer consistent unsolicited advice, enable inappropriate or unacceptable behavior, and sometimes even feel responsible for the other person’s actions.

For the individual who takes advantage of the caretaker, they may push the envelope in terms of boundaries. This person is typically aware of the unconditional love and support of the caretaker, so they often feel comfortable mistreating, taking advantage, and disregarding the feelings of the caretaker. Both people in the relationship can fall into a pattern of denial about their behaviors within the relationship.

Self Esteem Challenges

For the caretaking individual, their self-esteem, self-worth, and self- image usually revolves around the assurance, validation, and approval of the other party in the relationship. They lack inner trust and confidence in many cases. There is a great fear of being rejected, disliked, or viewed negatively. Sometimes these feelings evolve and creates a victim mentality. These individuals often do not like to be alone and feel comfort when in the company of others, especially the other half of the codependent relationship.

For the individual who takes advantage of the caretaker, they often have an inflated self- esteem and ego. They feel they are worthy of the consistent caregiving treatment and expect and accept nothing else.

Do you feel like you are in a codependent relationship? Are you looking to break free from the relationship patterns you have found yourself in? At Serene Mind, we are here to help. You can also email us at hello@serenemindpsych.com or give us a call at 813.321.8280 to set up an intake appointment to see if one of our therapists is a good fit for you!

5 Notable Women Who Have Worked to Normalize Mental Health Conversations

In honor of Women’s History Month, today we wanted to shine a light on women who have helped spread awareness of mental health and made a difference in the world. At a time when discussions of mental health are still considered taboo in many communities, it is important to recognize the role that women have played in paving the way for greater acceptance and understanding.

These women have inspired others to seek help, find solace in their stories, and ultimately strive to become their best selves.

Audre Lorde - Audre Lorde was a trailblazing poet, activist, and professor who pioneered conversations around critical topics such as race equity, gender oppression, LGBT rights, class struggles, and more. She also coined the iconic term "self-care." While her artistic and academic achievements were remarkable - she additionally brought to light important discussions about black women’s mental health by openly discussing her battles with depression.

Janice Johnson Dias - the founder of GrassROOTS Community Foundation (GCF), a non-profit organization dedicated to improving the overall health outcomes of girls and women of color in low-income communities. Her work is about fairness and the need to train and develop young women who want to make a difference by investing in them and making their voices and ideas heard.

Brené Brown - For the last two decades, renowned shame researcher Brené Brown has been researching topics such as courage, vulnerability, and empathy. She is praised for her six bestselling books on the New York Times bestseller list and hosts two award-winning podcasts that promote self-acceptance and connecting with people. She has helped many people (especially women) redefine what it means to be perfect.

Cleo Wade - As an artist, poet, and activist hailing from New Orleans, the work of this amazing individual strives to promote kindness, empathy, and equality. Through her books, she offers readers a source of inspiration on how to lead a life with purpose and contentment while also highlighting mental health issues. Moreover, she serves as a mentor for many young people, providing them with support in their journey toward self-love and recognition.

Anastacia Tomson - Dr. Tomson is a proud LGBTQIA+ activist and author based in Cape Town, South Africa. As a transgender woman who specializes in primary care medicine, she provides gender-affirming healthcare services as well as mental health support, with informed consent and respect for individual autonomy at the forefront of her practice. Guided by values that prioritize compassion, inclusiveness, respect, agency, and ethics, Dr. Tomson seeks to make sure everyone has access to quality medical treatment where they can be understood without fear or judgment.

Of course, many more inspirational women deserve recognition; however, we wanted to start by honoring these extraordinary individuals here today. We highly recommend looking into their work to further understand the importance of mental health for All women. 

Our Therapists Confirm, Self Care is Not Selfish

We never stop. As women we are always on the go, cooking, cleaning, working, doing. We forget that taking care of others, includes taking care of ourselves. Our own guilt plays a role in how much we do and how little we stop to think about us.

Self care is not selfish. 

Self care is necessary.

We can not expect our minds, bodies and souls to keep functioning if we do not take a moment to unplug. In a world of instant gratification in which everything is at our finger tips, it is ironic that we do not find a way to stop and just relax.

Imagine if we reset and took a moment everyday to practice a self care routine? What are some ways you can self-care today?

1. Turn off your phone

2. Walk outside

3. Sit in sunlight

4. Meditate

5. Eat a healthy snack

6. Try a magnesium salt bath

7. Treat yourself to a massage

Practicing self care is a way we show ourselves love, gratitude and appreciation. Lets face it, if we loved ourselves more, we would have an easier time in our roles as wives, mothers, sisters, aunts, grandmothers, students, colleagues, bosses and friends. Self care is self love and that is the greatest gift you can ever give yourself.