Good Bye Mom Guilt - Hello Mental Health
/Having the job of a mom, mommy or mama comes with many mixed emotions and responsibility. Your cute kiddies can bring you lots of love, connection and joy. We all know moms always try to put their kids before themselves.
Does having kids and being a mom mean all of your wants and needs are no longer important?
We often find, in all moms- new and experienced- we carry a LOT of responsibilities. These responsibilities can come with moments that make us feel lonely, isolated or that we are simply not doing enough.
It can become natural for mothers to fall into a cycle of carrying the weight of what feels like the world on their shoulders and neglecting themselves in the process. It is also common for moms to question their ability to be a good mother. We have all heard those intrusive thoughts, just constantly asking yourself if you are doing it all wrong? Does that seem familiar?
Mom guilt is that feeling.
The feelings of anxiousness, doubt, or worry that you may be falling short of your expectations in some way. The symptoms of mom guilt can be extensive, last for a long time, and can be intense and intrusive in nature. Sometimes you may even feel like nothing you do is right and you may discount your accomplishments.
This leads you to believe that you cannot do anything right and then this is where we struggle. No one is perfect and therefore, we cannot expect every mom to be either. You will make mistakes, you may not succeed in everything you try to accomplish, but this I know, your kids love you. Even when you feel like you may be falling short, kids are resilient and are often able to work through their problems with the help of empathy and mutual respect.
So, what does that mean for you, as a mom?
You may not feel like you’re being a perfect mom. The reality is, you’re probably not. Mom imperfections are NORMAL. I do not know a single person who can complete multiple jobs and balance multiple tasks, all while making zero mistakes… Do you?
Your perception of what a “good mom” or a “perfect mom” is, comes from a thought usually not created by you. It is a construct that you have been passed down by society, your mother, your husband, or maybe even the book we read to better prepare ourselves for motherhood. The fault here is that mothers do not need to be perfect. In fact, they need to be imperfect.
Responding to your mistakes, repairing things that you have broken, and addressing your flaws as a human can also aid in building your child's ability to overcome obstacles and tackle tricky interpersonal situations.
