The Intentional Postpartum - By Baby Boldly

Over the course of pregnancy, the average expectant mother spends around 20 hours preparing for her birth. Those same mothers-to-be spend anywhere from no time at all to up to two hours preparing for her postpartum experience. Therein lies our setup for a potentially dangerous postpartum period.

Some consider the “postpartum period” to be the first 6-8 weeks post birth, while others consider it to be the first 12 months. . Either way, there’s no arguing that those first 6-8 weeks are, by far, the most critical time for momma’s recovery. While we obviously advocate for birth prep, we also believe that intentionally preparing  for what happens after birth is just as important. 

When we set our intentions we often have a completely different experience than when we don’t, and  intentionally preparing for what momma’s postpartum recovery will look like, will allow for a much smoother recovery and bonding period. Maternal suicide is tragically the most common cause of death for postpartum moms. When we spend less time packing a Tik-Tok-worthy birth bag and focus on a comprehensive recovery plan, we’re all going to feel better prepared. Babies will be better off, partners, employers, the community at large gains everything from a momma intentionally preparing for her post-birth life. There are plenty of ways that society isn’t rallying around new mothers, so the burden falls heavily on mom’s shoulders to spend more of her time preparing and less time waiting for it to happen to her. When we allow postpartum to just happen to us, we are fooling ourselves. When we intentionally prepare for postpartum, we have a completely different outcome that benefits everyone. 

So how can you intentionally prepare for postpartum? Here are our top 10 recommendations. Maybe you have a few of these already on your list of preparations, but as most mommas prepare hardly at all, we suggest you consider these 10 steps to ensure you’re set for a better postpartum at home.

1. Educate yourself on what postpartum is.

2. Enlist help with cleaning your house.

3. Make at least four postpartum stations around your house.

4. Enlist help if it isn’t offered and say “yes” if it is.

5. Stock your kitchen with nutrition.

6. Consider hiring a lactation consultant. 

7. Consider hiring a postpartum doula.

8. Consider hiring a mental health counselor.

9. Consider hiring a pelvic floor therapist.

10. Clearly communicate your boundaries for visitors.

For a more in-depth explanation on these 10 ways, we’ve written a two-part blog series that you can access here. 

Resist the urge to spend all your precious pregnancy time decorating the ultimate nursery, home-editing the baby’s closet and spending money on a custom mobile. Use those nine-ish months to also plan for what’s going to be happening to you. As moms, we begin neglecting ourselves as soon as we get the positive test result, whether intentionally or un-intentionally. Be proactive and have an intentional postpartum. It matters. 

Natalie McBride is co-founder of Baby Boldly, a mission driven e-commerce retail platform that is known for offering the first non-toxic, pre-packed hospital birth bag. She is married to her husband James for 10 years and together they share two daughters - Abigail (7) and Mabel (4). They reside in Jacksonville, FL.

How Therapists Believe Change is Positive

Every ending has a new beginning. Change does have a bad reputation but change can actually be the introduction to a new chapter. Without change we would be stuck in a constant loop of the sameness, this could feel draining and boring. The only constant in life is change.

Here are some ways change can be positive:

1. Change gives you a new perspective - A new way of completing a task, a different job or moving to a new city are all opportunities for you to figure out how new circumstances play into the values and morals of your life. This is a great way to see what is important to you and helps you to evaluate how change can play into your existing lifestyle, thought patterns and even life goals.

2. Change can help you learn to be flexible - It is easy to fall into set patterns and a routine, but change allows you to become open to new ways of thinking. One small change can open your mind to make changes in other areas of your life.

3. Change can improve your attitude - Sometimes, a change can be just the thing you need to get out of a rut and improve your outlook on life.

4. Change can help you grow - Accepting change is not always easy, but learning to deal with change can help you grow. This in turn can make change become easier to accept and to build confidence in your ability to try something new.

5. Change allows you to reflect on progress - When a change is presented to you, it is a chance to reflect on the past and become excited about the future. Thinking ahead to what you can accomplish when a change is introduced to you is a chance to become renewed by the potential awaiting you.

Change can be a rewarding and exciting experience if we open up our minds to the positive possibilities. Thinking of change as a new opportunity to expand your thinking will help you to look at change in a positive way.

How to Love Your Body - From Our Therapists

Poor body image can affect so many of us in so many different ways, including in many of our relationships, careers, and our overall quality of life. A lot of the time we tend to hyperfocus on specific parts of our bodies such as our stomachs, noses, thighs, and more. At the end of the day, we are the only ones that truly notice the “imperfections” that we think we have. If we were to ask anyone else they’d tell us we look great, amazing and lovely. Yet, we choose to not believe them.

Many people, even young children can express concern about body weight. Thankfully many children do outgrow these worries as time goes on. It usually happens most with children as young as 8 who are most likely reacting to peer pressure which in turn causes self-consciousness rather than a true disorder. A more distorted sense of self can definitely be more real for pre-teens all the way through adulthood, with more women suffering than men.

Most of the time these feelings are caused by children seeing their parent’s relationships with their own bodies. The way parent’s see themselves can definitely influence and molds a child’s ideas about their own bodies. Women are also more likely to suffer with distortions of body image due to the constant photoshopping that we see on social media and current beauty standards.

Thankfully, we are slowly branching away from the photoshopped images and people are beginning to appreciate themselves more for who they are which is allowing for many of us to truly feel more comfortable in our own skin.

Take these steps to start loving your body more:

1. Curb social media, and platforms where people are constantly pushing unrealistic beauty standards. We can even stay on social media but maybe unfollow all of those people who make you feel bad about yourself, and start following those that empower you instead. Take in media that shows you what real people and real bodies look like.

2. Do the things that make you feel good about yourself. Eat things that make you feel good and get your body moving to give you energy and flow.

3. Remind yourself every morning that you are beautiful, unique and deserving of love and good energy. Create an affirmation that you are happy to wake up to every morning. No one deserves to wake up daily and feel horrible about living in their own body.

4. Get out in the sun and absorb some rays. This will help you feel better, Vitamin D has been proven to boost positive moods.

5. Be realistic and grateful for your able body. Having gratitude for what your body can do is a great step towards loving yourself.

If you feel like you are currently dealing with poor body image, you can reach out to us and schedule an initial session with our counselors to set up a plan to help you overcome the emotions you may be feeling towards yourself. Growth isn’t linear, but we are always here to help.

5 Reasons to Start Family Therapy

A lot of the time families begin their search for a family therapist with the goal of improving the relationships and overall functioning of the members of the family. Typically, this can include anyone the members identify to be family and/or those who are involved in the issues currently being addressed. Family relationships are full of opportunities to grow. However, a lot of daily stressors could cause us to feel misunderstood by or even disconnected from the people closest to us.

If you’re unsure if you should seek for a family therapist, then here are 5 very good reasons you probably should:

1. Depression, anxiety, or mental illness: If there is even one family member in the family that is experiencing any form of depression, anxiety, or mental illness then there is probably a big likelihood that the rest of the family could also be being affected. You may think that those closest to you don’t notice, but they do and they worry. When this happens within the family, a therapist may be a great person to seek out as they can help teach you ways to navigate many of the situations you may be dealing with. This way, instead of pulling away from one another, the whole family can learn to support one another.

2. Separation or divorce: Divorces are very hard on many families, especially the children. A lot of the time, it feels like things are being turned upside down for not only the children but the parents too. A family therapist can play a very important role in helping you to remain whole and intact even during a separation or divorce.

3. The blended family: In our modern world, creating and even seeing blended families is pretty common. More commonly, when two people come together, it is very likely that they may have children from previous relationships and challenges typically tend to arise. During this time, a family therapist may be vital to help you navigate changes and challenges. They can aid you in creating a safe space for everyone involved and helping you make sure that each child feels loved and supported.

4. Dealing with loss: Loss is a very difficult thing to overcome whether in a family or out of one. There are many emotions such as extreme sadness, anger, guilt or maybe even some relief that someone or something close to us is gone. No matter what stages of grief you and your family are going through, a therapist can definitely aid in the healing process.

5. You live with a teenager: Teenagers are full of drama, hormones, and many emotions. Usually when children reach their teenage years, they feel misunderstood by their families and tend to lash out or even distance themselves. This makes it difficult for communication to flow the way it should within a family. If you feel like you are having a hard time communicating with your teenager, then maybe it's time you schedule a family session that will allow for a therapist to show the family tools that will allow for more open and clear communication.

Family therapy can bring families together. Our therapists are here to help you and your family overcome disagreements and unite you as a family.

3 Ways Therapists Suggest to Improve Your Self-Love

Have you noticed how often self-love is spoken about on a day to day basis compared to a couple of years ago? This is because people have started to realize that they need to prioritize their well being over their jobs and other obligations that spread them too thin. We all have a unique way of loving ourselves.

However, if you are unsure of how to start showing yourself some love, then here are three tangible ways for you to begin practicing self love.

1. Don’t compare yourself to others on social media:

We are all guilty of hopping on our social media apps such as instagram, twitter, or even tiktok only to see our favorite influencers do something amazing that may make us a bit jealous. Our internal dialogue tends to go “I wish I looked like her '', “I wish I had a loving relationship like that” or even “They got engaged? That seems so out of reach for me.” Well, maybe it's time to limit your time on social media, but if you do log on, start to challenge your thoughts. Remember that the images posted on social media are meant to show only the positive aspects of people's lives. No one wants to show the raw reality of life. We all have bad days, even our favorite influencers. Try to not beat yourself up for what you see online.

2. Clean out your closet:

Getting organized and getting rid of old things will eventually make room for many new things to come into your life. Sometimes cleaning up the clutter from our mind can start by cleaning up the clutter of our day to day lives. It’s time to let go of all those things you haven't used in over 6 months. Especially if they remind you of negative periods. Never chase things that have already passed, we cannot change the past but can always influence our future. 

3. Make a list of the things that are currently working for you: 

Self- acceptance is the main key to truly loving ourselves. A very simple way of getting to this point is to realize all the amazing things that you already have going and working for you. Once you see all the amazing things that are currently occurring in your life or that you simply have to look forward to, it will be easier to accept and love yourself completely. 

Improving ourselves and making changes can be overwhelming at times, but we promise that you can do anything that you set your mind to. Yes, even learning to love yourself. If you need any help coming up with a plan, we here at Serene Mind are also here to help you. We are simply a phone call or email away.

New Mommy Love - Postpartum Love from Our Therapists

The birth of a new member to any family can most definitely trigger a wide range of powerful emotions. These emotions can range from excitement and joy to great anxiety and uneasiness. Most of the time, the uneasy emotions, anxiety and even depression can last up to about two weeks, but in some cases they continue for longer periods of time. When new moms are experiencing this more severe, long lasting form of depression it is usually the sign of postpartum depression. 

For any new moms that may be reading this, we do want you to know that postpartum depression does not mean you are weak or flawed in any way. It’s actually very common in new moms. Studies show that postpartum depression actually affects 1 in 9 new mothers. Getting back to feeling like yourself may take some time, but know that it is possible!

We would like to provide you with 5 things you or someone you know could follow to help on their new mommy journey to improve postpartum:

1. Rest:

   It is very important that you rest as much as you can. Although extremely hectic, try to schedule your sleep time around your baby’s sleep time. If possible, see if someone can give you a hand so that you can rest. 

2. Get out of the house:

   Make time for yourself. Whether this is simply going out to get a massage, an ice cream cone, visit some friends, or even spend time alone with your partner.

3. Join a support group:

   It’s extremely easy to find a support group with the help of technology! This may be extremely helpful if you are needing that extra support. Many other mothers are going through the same thing. Learning about their experiences may be not only insightful but helpful.

4. Don’t do everything alone:

   I know that sometimes you might want to do everything. However, you deserve a break too! Ask your partner, family or even friends for help if you really need it. Asking for help doesn’t make you any less of a mother. 

5. Don’t make any major life changes:

   Giving birth and welcoming a new child to the world is already life changing as is. More major changes can cause you heaps of unneeded stress. Sadly, there are life changes that we simply cannot avoid. When those occur, please try to reach out to family and friends to arrange support and help you ahead of time. 

It can also be helpful to have someone you trust take care of the baby while you are managing postpartum depression. If you are currently feeling this way, don’t juggle it all alone. Tell a loved one or talk with a professional. It may not seem like it now, but it will get better. 

Our Therapists Agree, It is Okay to Have "All the feels"

There are many emotions that we experience from day to day; anger, joy, excitement, happiness, guilt, sadness, fear, jealousy and the list goes on. Sometimes our emotions can make us feel overwhelmed and can be hard to understand. Knowing that emotions are normal and healthy can help you in see them in a healthy way.

It is easy to see why it’s important to feel happiness and joy, but why is it healthy to have uncomfortable emotions? What can anger, sadness, or fear do for us? Can our emotions benefit others as well as ourselves?

1. Anger and Sadness-

A lot of times we become angry, but anger comes from being passionate about something. We may honk at a driver that pulled out in front of us but you do so because you are passionate about your safety or the safety of those in your car. There are healthy ways we can cope with and control our anger. We can always talk with a professional or a loved one about things that make us angry. We can also take a step back and think about why this particular thing is making you feel anger. Sadness on the other hand can be harder to control as the things that make us sad at times may or may not be helped. We may not be able to retake a test, or find something that we lost. This propels us to avoid feeling sad in the future for the same reasons. Being sad means you care, just like being angry does.

2. Joy and Happiness-

Conversely, happiness and joy are positive emotions. When we hug someone we love or do well at work we can feel joy and happiness. When we are happy we are more likely to do things like exercise and be with friends and loved ones. We can often share this emotion and others sometimes will join you in feeling happy too.

3. Fear and Worry-

Experiencing fear and anxiety can help us avoid dangerous situations and are healthy and at times positive. You may experience fear before you ride a new roller coaster or you may be worried about a job interview. We can do things to alleviate these worries; prepare for situations in advance and anticipate being nervous. Talking with a professional about your fears can also be helpful in working through them.

All emotions are okay to feel.

Without emotions we would just be a bunch of robots. Understanding that every emotion we have plays an important part of who we are and what we need, is the key to becoming more self aware.

Our Therapists Confirm, Asking for Help is a Sign of Self Awareness

Life is full of unexpected turns and zigzags. Sometimes life presents us with more than we can handle. We start to feel overwhelmed, sad, angry, confused or hurt. Accepting help may make you feel vulnerable, this is absolutely normal. When we open up and face our true feelings, we do become vulnerable. This vulnerability is what can help us heal, grow and show us just how strong we really are. When you ask for help you are able to accomplish more and feel better about yourself. When things start to become too heavy to carry an extra pair of hands can help. How do we know we need help and how do we get that help?

Knowing when to ask for help may be hard to figure out. It all starts with a little bit of insight, awareness and connecting with yourself. In society we are taught to be independent and to do things on our own. What society sometimes forgets is that everyone needs a little help, guidance and empathy.

Some signs you may be overwhelmed and needing more self awareness include:

1. You are easily upset:

   Our emotions are often pushed to their limit when we try and handle too much so the smallest things could cause an emotional response whether it be crying or becoming angry.

2. Forgetting things:

   Forgetting appointments or to call someone back; small things add up and could mean that you are not giving your attention to what needs it. On the other hand when we do recognize when we need help actually accepting it is another hurdle.

3. Feeling run down or empty:

   When we are overwhelmed with negative thoughts or emotions, our tank runs on empty and we begin to feel to feel down. This can cause fatigue and burn out.

4. Being hurtful towards yourself or others:

   As our emotions peak, we may not find relief. Sometimes this can lead towards behaviors that are destructive. We may take things out on ourselves or the people we love the most.

Here are some ways to start finding help, and therapy can be part of that help:

1. Research your options:

   What exactly do you need help with? There are many resources available to you when looking for help.

2. Know you are not alone:

   Sharing your problems and worries with someone else alone helps take the burden off of you.

3. Know others want the best for you:

   Some people may be eager to help because they have your needs in mind. It is okay to set boundaries in this regard.

4. Recognize that asking for help, is a sign of self awareness:

   Society may not recognize that asking for help is a game changer for many of us. Asking for help means we recognize we can not do everything, we need guidance and we are ready to grow.

Asking for help is a great step in feeling supported, loved and connected. When you ask for help, you are asking for empathy and validation. This is a sign of your own inner strength!

The Importance of Holiday Expectations for Your Mental Health

For many people, the holiday season can be a source of stress and other negative emotions. During this time, it’s important to manage your expectations and remember that you only have control over your own thoughts and actions. Going into the holidays with this mindset can help prevent feelings of disappointment.

Here are some other tips for staying in a positive headspace during the holidays:

1. Set realistic expectations.

No holiday is perfect, so be prepared for some bumps along the road.

2. Live in the moment.

Rather than focusing on what may or may not happen in the future, be present in the now.

3. Maintain healthy boundaries.

Check in with yourself and communicate what you need from friends and family going into the holidays.

4. Take care of yourself.

With holiday celebrations, family get-togethers, and end of the year assignments, it’s easy to let your self-care routines fall by the wayside. Be proactive and prioritize your mental and physical well-being in order to stay grounded.

5. Set aside time to de-stress.

It’s okay to feel overwhelmed or disappointed. If this happens, give yourself time to engage in calming and joy-bringing activities, such as going for a walk, reading a book, taking a bubble bath or extra cuddles with your favorite puppy.

Remember the holidays can be a stressful time for many who feel increased pressure during this time of year. You can balance this stress by reducing the expectations you are setting for yourself. After all, the true meaning of the holiday season is sharing love and kindness.

Signs of Seasonal Affective Disorder

Seasonal Affective Disorder, also known as SAD, is a form of depression that presents itself during the change in the seasons; typically, people experience SAD in the fall and winter months. The symptoms of SAD are similar to those of major depression and tend to last about 4-5 months each year.

Signs of Seasonal Affective Disorder include:

- Having low energy

- Experiencing appetite and/or weight changes

- Having trouble sleeping (either too much or not enough)

- Feeling hopeless, depressed, and/or worthless

- Losing motivation for activities you normally enjoy

- Having difficulty concentrating

- Experiencing suicidal thoughts

If you are feeling the symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder, here are a few things to try to improve your mood:

- Expose yourself to light every day to substitute for the lack of sunshine in the winter months. This can be accomplished by:

o Taking a mid-day walk

o Sitting near windows when indoors

o Taking Vitamin D supplements

o Using a “light box” to simulate sunlight for 30 minutes a day, also known as Light Therapy

- Learn how to cope with difficult situations and replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts and actions. This can be accomplished through:

o Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

o Talk Therapy

- Take antidepressants, if needed

Be sure to listen to your mind and body during the next few months and take the necessary steps to take care of yourself. You should not have to “tough it out” or “push through” your feelings; ask for support and seek help when you need it.

4 Ways to Have a Happy and Inclusive Halloween

Halloween is around the corner, and for many people, that means fun. However, Halloween can also be triggering for those living with a mental illness. During this time of year, it is especially important to be mindful of your needs and the needs of others.

Here are 4 ways to make sure your Halloween is fun, happy and safe for everyone in your community.

1. Recognize boundaries can vary from person to person –

Everyone has different comfort levels when it comes to costumes, scary movies, candy consumption, and haunted houses. Surround yourself with individuals who recognize and help you maintain your boundaries (be sure to return the favor). Attempting to “push someone out of their comfort zone” or questioning their reasoning behind decisions can create an un-safe environment and/or deteriorate their progress.

2. Be careful when commenting on other peoples’ bodies and/or eating habits –

Even if you mean well, pointing out how much/how little candy someone eats or how their costume fits their body can be triggering to those struggling with their body image and/or an eating disorder. Instead try focusing on all other aspects of Halloween. This is meant to be a fun time, creating healthy memories.

3. Understand and empathize everyone has different sensory capacities -

Halloween can be especially difficult for those on the autism spectrum. Decorations with loud sounds and flashing lights, as well as tight or uncomfortable costumes can overwhelm individuals with sensory disorders. Be aware that others may not be quite as enthusiastic about touch, being scared and some may not respond to social cues very well.

3. Be kind and supportive –

Extend support, compassion, and patience towards yourself and others. Make a point to use positive language and remain empathetic to those who seem to be struggling. Kindness goes a long way!

Enjoy your time while trick or treating, and participating in fall activities while being as inclusive as possible.

Our Therapists Know Breastfeeding is Hard Work, Let's Talk About It

This week we celebrate all the benefits that breastfeeding can bring to both the health and welfare of babies, as well as a general awareness for maternal health, focusing on good nutrition, poverty reduction and food security. 

We are not here to mom shame or make anyone feel guilty about not being able to breastfeed.

This week is NOT dedicated to discussing the reduction of other options, in the cases of mothers who cannot breastfeed or choose not to breastfeed, but instead provide resources and access in communities where there are barriers to breastfeeding, like corporate policy, lack of privacy, or high demand for women in other spheres of the workforce.

Breastfeeding is a hard and tremendous job, we know that first hand. By normalizing and discussing what benefits breastfeeding can bring, it can decrease stigma, making these choices easier for women to make. 

This year, the objectives for WBW are as follows:

• Inform people about the importance of protecting breastfeeding.

• Anchor breastfeeding support as a vital public health responsibility.

• Engage with individuals and organizations for greater impact. 

• Galvanize action on protecting breastfeeding to improve public health.

This year also emphasizes the importance of breastfeeding, if possible, during the COVID-19 pandemic, stating “The benefits of breastfeeding and nurturing mother-infant interaction to prevent infection and promote health and development are especially important when health and other community services are themselves disrupted or limited. Mothers and infants should be supported to remain together, and practice skin-to-skin contact and/or kangaroo care whether or not they or their infants have suspected, probable, or confirmed COVID-19 virus infection.”

While the world feels like a gloomy place these days, it is easy to remember we are fighting so hard for the babies of tomorrow. Making sure that women have the appropriate means and access to relevant resources to give this next generation the best possible chance at creating a better tomorrow is imperative.

This may, of course, beg the question: What do relevant and appropriate means look like to aid women in having access to the resources they may need to breastfeed? 

The Fair Labor Standards Act covers laws for women in the workplace here, in America, stating that they must be provided basic accommodations while breastfeeding while at work. This is a global initiative though and not all countries have rights protected by law for mothers in this situation.

Mamas, we are in this together and by supporting each other we can make feeding our babies an easier task.

Talk about it, advocate for other mothers, be a friend in the workplace when someone needs help. The louder the conversation, the more change that can occur.

If you want to know more information about this or participate in live webinars on the subject, find more information here: https://www.paho.org/en/campaigns/world-breastfeeding-week-campaign-2021

Good Bye Mom Guilt - Hello Mental Health

Having the job of a mom, mommy or mama comes with many mixed emotions and responsibility. Your cute kiddies can bring you lots of love, connection and joy. We all know moms always try to put their kids before themselves.

Does having kids and being a mom mean all of your wants and needs are no longer important?

We often find, in all moms- new and experienced- we carry a LOT of responsibilities. These responsibilities can come with moments that make us feel lonely, isolated or that we are simply not doing enough. 

It can become natural for mothers to fall into a cycle of carrying the weight of what feels like the world on their shoulders and neglecting themselves in the process. It is also common for moms to question their ability to be a good mother. We have all heard those intrusive thoughts, just constantly asking yourself if you are doing it all wrong? Does that seem familiar? 

Mom guilt is that feeling.

The feelings of anxiousness, doubt, or worry that you may be falling short of your expectations in some way. The symptoms of mom guilt can be extensive, last for a long time, and can be intense and intrusive in nature. Sometimes you may even feel like nothing you do is right and you may discount your accomplishments.

This leads you to believe that you cannot do anything right and then this is where we struggle. No one is perfect and therefore, we cannot expect every mom to be either. You will make mistakes, you may not succeed in everything you try to accomplish, but this I know, your kids love you. Even when you feel like you may be falling short, kids are resilient and are often able to work through their problems with the help of empathy and mutual respect. 

So, what does that mean for you, as a mom?

You may not feel like you’re being a perfect mom. The reality is, you’re probably not. Mom imperfections are NORMAL. I do not know a single person who can complete multiple jobs and balance multiple tasks, all while making zero mistakes… Do you? 

Your perception of what a “good mom” or a “perfect mom” is, comes from a thought usually not created by you. It is a construct that you have been passed down by society, your mother, your husband, or maybe even the book we read to better prepare ourselves for motherhood. The fault here is that mothers do not need to be perfect. In fact, they need to be imperfect.

Responding to your mistakes, repairing things that you have broken, and addressing your flaws as a human can also aid in building your child's ability to overcome obstacles and tackle tricky interpersonal situations. 

Your child’s psychosocial health actually benefits from your imperfections. If you were perfect, your child would not have the opportunity to learn how to learn from mistakes, apologize, forgive, love, or be HUMAN. 

So, here is your reminder: You are doing great, even when you feel that you are not doing your best. 

Hello May, We Are Here for Mental Health Awareness Month

The first week of May is considered National Screen-free week.

This is an initiative to reduce our screen time and get outside. Being outside has a ton of health benefits from decreasing depression to increasing cognitive functioning. But, with the infamous year of 2020, screen time is now simply inevitable. 

Social media has become our source of social interaction and support. Zoom and Microsoft teams have been the new source for education. Doxy.me has become our healthcare provider. We can grocery shop from our phone. Children now chat with their friends in virtual hang-outs through video games like Roblocks and Among us. Screen time is inevitable and there is no reason for us to hold ourselves to this impossible expectation of unplugging completely.

Let’s try to be realistic and do our best to unplug when we can, but appreciate our new ability to plug in when we need to. 

May is mental health awareness month!

This is a month that is close to our heart. Mental health diagnoses are often suffered silently. The stigma around mental health is slowly dying down but is not gone by any means. The generations before us made talking about mental health extremely difficult, adding labels and subconscious judgement to mental illness.

This month is a time to reflect on the fact that approximately 1 in 5 of us will be diagnosed with a mental health disorder in our lifetime… and that is OKAY!

The new generation is breaking glass ceilings and tearing down walls of stigma to prioritize mental health as an important factor in our overall well being.

We like to consider therapy to be just as important as working out in the gym (except you are working out your brain). Before you begin a workout journey, you are going to need to understand the skills, the safety, and your starting point for reference. Those same rules and concepts can apply to therapy: we can equip you with the skills and tools you will need, so you can then succeed without us! 

Finally, May is for all the Moms!

With Mother’s day rounding the corner, we can take some time this month to dedicate ourselves to showing appreciation for all the moms out there. This month we will talk about mom guilt- what that may look like and how to overcome it, the imperfections of motherhood, and moms that may not be having the easiest journey to motherhood, whether that be IVF, fostering, or adoption. Modern medicine has given us the ability to combat infertility, though that does not make the journey any easier for those who are struggling with it.

Motherhood can be both exciting and terrifying, as there is so much unknown that comes with it. Taking the time to appreciate women for making the ultimate sacrifice to their bodies, minds, and social life, is simply the least we can do. 

We also want to acknowledge the moms who have lost babies, too. Whether it be before or after they were born, we want you to remind yourself that you matter. You are worthy of love and respect. You are still a mother. 

Mindfulness for Everybody - A Therapy Approach

Participating in “Mindfulness” is probably something the internet has told you to do a thousand times.

But, it is often hard to participate when we either don’t understand or don’t know how. So, what exactly is it?

The answer to that question can come in many forms. Being mindful about a situation is the process of entering the state of consciousness or awareness of something. Learning to be mindful means we can first focus on that awareness and direct it toward our present moment and simultaneously acknowledge and accept one’s own thoughts and feelings in a therapeutic way. 

Mindfulness comes in many forms the most common one being meditation.

The misconception of meditation is that it has to be something you do alone, in a quiet place, where you have to be still and have zero thoughts. I don't know about you but that just may not be an option.

The good news is, there are so many other options for us to utilize being mindful without the absence of all internal thought. 

Movement meditation is the first idea that may come to mind. Understanding our bodies' physical limitations can help us determine our mental limitations as well. This can look like yoga, running, mindful walking, or even dancing. Anything that allows us to be in the present moment, giving our bodies’ the love, appreciation, and attention it needs, can be a form of meditation. 

Mindfulness meditation is the form of meditation mentioned above. You can use this by finding a place where you can remain sitting, alone, in a quiet place, listening to your breath and pushing away intrusive thoughts. Mindfulness meditation will take hours of practice and you may not be able to do this on your first try. Being forgiving toward your thoughts and being patient with yourself are going to be common themes while practicing this type of meditation. 

Guided meditation may be a better fit for you if mindful meditation sounds too difficult or daunting. This type of meditation takes some of the pressure off of you, allowing you to relax and find peace and calm within someone else’s words or guidance. These practices can be short or long, they can aid in sleep, self-esteem, or even alertness for the day ahead. 

Visualization is the process of picturing your thoughts and intentions under a positive light in your mind's eye. Visualization can help you project the things you want to accomplish into the universe, similar to an affirmation. Sometimes, taking the time to visualize a phrase, goal, or intention can help you identify the goals you are truly working towards more clearly. 

Mantra meditation works to occupy your mind with repetition of sounds and phrases, often an affirmation or intention, clearing your mind of its typical internal dialogue. This works by picking a daily mantra, short or long, and either silently or aloud repeating it to yourself for a set period of time. An example of a mantra could be “I am present.” 

Building positive mindfulness skills can increase our situational awareness, help regulate our emotions, and learn to accept our thoughts and feelings more accurately. 

Our Therapists Share Thoughts On Overcoming Anxiety

Anxiety and depression oftentimes coexistent. When someone is experiencing one, it is common for them to also be experiencing the other. Last week, we talked about how to support your family member, loved one, or friend who is experiencing depression, this week we will reflect on the importance on how to continue to provide support when a loved one is feeling anxious as well! 

Let’s start with the basics, what is anxiety? 

Anxiety is the consistent and persistent feeling of worry and fear for everyday events and tasks. Anxiety is normal, and we all experience it to some extent under certain circumstances, like public speaking or looking over the edge of a tall building. Anxiety becomes problematic when it interferes with our ability to engage in daily living. This means it becomes difficult for someone to go grocery shopping or interact with a friend or coworker. 

What can you do to provide support for someone dealing with this? 

Understand that the fear is real.

It may be hard to understand or conceptualize, right? Why is it such a big deal to go to the store or hang out with a friend? It becomes easy to minimize their fear and worry, simply because you are rationalizing it. Ultimately, this fear is entirely real and the way you are seeing the situation is simply not the same as the person who is anxious. Empathizing with their fears and helping them find accommodations to this worry that can be fitting for their lives is a great way to show your support to them. 

Try your best to listen and be a safe space for them to express their fears.

Rather than telling them to calm down when you see someone getting upset about their own anxiety, try to remember it’s not personal. Getting upset with them and brushing off their fears can disrupt the trust you have built together. Listening to their worries may, not only be a way for you to connect with them, it could be a way for you to fully understand what they are going through internally, making it easier to talk them down when they are overwhelmed. 

Helping them practice mindfulness and deep breathing. 

Deep breathing is so important for someone with anxiety. When the anxious feelings become too difficult to handle, it could potentially lead to an anxiety attack which consists of racing heartbeat, intense fear, hyperventilation, and other unpleasant symptoms. Taking a moment to slow down, take some deep breaths and help your person ground themselves can take that intense panic away.  Giving them a hug can also help them feel safe and secure in their moment of weakness. 

Overall, trying to remember that everyone has different perspectives is the main goal. Every single brain works a little bit different than yours and having the ability to be empathetic, even when you cannot understand it, is a skill that takes time to develop.  Let your loved one know that you are working too and hopefully, together, you  can support each other on the long road to decreasing stigmatization and feeling better overall.

Our Therapists Share 5 Depression Do's

A change in the weather is oftentimes what we need to pick ourselves up, get outside, and take a deep breath to begin a new day. Breaking out of the cold weather funk can be a real hassle and we can only hope the dawn of a bright, warn day can help us accomplish this. But what do we do when the funk doesn’t clear for the people around us?

How can we be there to help and support our loved ones who are having a tough time getting out of a depressive episode? 

1.The first step is finding what support looks like to them. 

Some people simply need space, but others may need some help or guidance. Reminding them that they are enough allows them to remove themselves from that overwhelming feeling of guilt, as they may feel guilty about not being at their “normal” level of functioning or appearance. It’s always a good reminder to let someone know that what they are experiencing is not their fault and that you can get through it together. 

2. Have empathy for their feelings. 

Sometimes it may be difficult to understand why someone thinks the way they do. It may be hard to conceptualize why your perfectly healthy teenager thinks they aren’t good enough or why your amazing husband is having a hard time with his appearance. Try your best to listen and ask how you can help. 

3. Promote self care!

Sometimes self-care becomes the last box we check on our to-do lists, and with depression, that box may be nonexistent. Without guilting someone into doing something they don’t want to do, you can use encouraging words to help get them out of bed to brush their teeth or wash their face. Try to encourage them to sit in a brighter room in the house, or open the blinds in their own room, getting out of a dark room can help them start to feel better.

4. Get outside and enjoy the sun! 

Just like the sun can brighten our moods after a cold winter, someone dealing with depression may feel this same kind of relief. Often, people suffering from depression stay indoors for long periods of time and become deficient in Vitamin D. This vitamin is vital for keeping bones, teeth, and muscles happy and healthy. It also supports brain function and your body’s immune response.

5. Or maybe just be a quiet supporter. 

It is common for those suffering with depression to also be in the dark about their feelings so asking them to explain why they are feeling that way may become exhausting. Being a quiet presence, so you can be there if they do need you, is more than enough.

Knowing they are not alone is the best way to help someone get onto the other side of depression.

Treasure Your Friendships - Our Therapists Suggestions

Human beings want to love and be loved. We want to build connections that we treasure and make ourselves part of a group. We search for people whom we trust and appreciate. Some people may have smaller inner circles and others may have larger inner circles. Though we often think of a significant other when we hear the word love, there is another category of people who you may love even more- your best friends. 

Friendships are constantly evolving, ever changing, sometimes painful, but oftentimes rewarding. But, I am sure we all know when push comes to shove, friends get the short end of the stick in the hierarchy of life.

Between work, school, relationships, kids, family, and the ongoing list of things that need to be accomplished, where do we fit our friends?  When managing our own mental health, how do we manage our friendships too? 

The good news is, it is possible.

How do you fit in time for friends?

Sometimes all it takes is a phone call in between errands. A good rule of thumb would be simply to be honest. Tell your friends what you have planned and what is on your mind. True friends, who are around for the long haul will understand. I mean, let's be honest, they are probably busy too!

Other ways to keep a healthy balance would be to plan in advance, hang out in groups, or even ask them to join you on daily tasks. Balancing friendships and everyday chores can help you keep your routine entertaining and your friendships intact.

What makes a good friend?

Everyone has different values and non-negotiable items, these are things that we would not go back and forth on in relationships. Good friends typically have some common values like trustworthiness, being non-judgmental, being able to express empathy, and being a good listener.

What are signs of a poor friendship?

Poor friendships can hurt or harm us just as much as good friends can help and encourage us. Some common characteristics could be a friend who takes but does not have the time to give, they are not honest with you, or they do not support you. If you feel like you are constantly doing and giving, chances are you are doing too much for your friend. This might be a sign that you need to re-evaluate your friendship values.

Finding a great friend is like finding a hidden treasure, full of excitement and wonder.

We all know being a good friend is hard work and finding good friends is even harder. Being true to yourself and being honest with those you care about can help you navigate through this busy life, with some people who you truly love and appreciate!

4 Ways to Start Your Self-Love Routine and Your Mental Health

What is love and how do you show it? The great Pooh Bear once told Piglet, “you do not spell love, you feel it.” We would agree with him.

Love lives in all areas in our life, from friendships, to relationships, friendships that become relationships, to self love, to the LGBTQ+ community, and also to understanding asexuality and what that kind of love looks like (spoiler alert, it’s different for everyone).

Ultimately, love will come and go through relationships and friendships but there is always one place you should be able to find it: within yourself.

Self love is the only kind of love that comes from a place within your heart and can express it in a multitude of ways. 

So what are some ways to begin practicing self-love?

1. Know that you deserve it: make sure your mindset is open and ready to make a commitment to yourself. Changing your perspective and outlook is the first step towards improving your self-love routine.

2. Make a list of things you love (make sure to include things you can do on your own, for you and by you). Some great examples are: writing, coloring, listening to music, playing an instrument, cooking, baking, being outside, walking, jogging, meditation, yoga, eating in the present moment and hydrating.

3. Create a schedule of what you would like to start with. All you need is one activity to start, try that for a week or 2. As it becomes a self-love routine, you will be able to add more self-love into your life.

4. Be in the moment: make sure to stay in the present moment and check in with how you are feeling about loving on yourself. This happiness, confidence and freedom can help give you a boost of positivity. It will also help you remember why your self-love routine is important to you.

Remember that self-love is a practice and is not easy for most of us to do (let’s face it, we can all use some more self-love in our lives). Be gentle with yourself, start where you are at and after about 3 months or so, self-love can become a routine.

Our Therapists Share How to Revamp Your Routines

Why are routines hard to start and hard to keep up with? They can be tedious but we know that once you are able to hone in on specific goals, routines will be an integral part of maintaining these goals.

Routines are helpful in giving us a feeling of control over our lives, even when it may seem like control is the last thing you have. Routines can also be helpful in coping with change, forming healthy habits, and reducing stress levels. 

Morning routines can be a great way to get your day started on the right track. Sometimes, getting out of bed is a struggle and it’s important to understand that you should not feel bad for skipping a morning routine. Though, having a routine may make those days a little easier. So, we can almost look at this like preparation for difficult days or weeks, while also setting us up for success on our good days.

It is also important to note that everyone’s lives are different and therefore the recommendations that I may have for a good morning routine may not fit into your life. It is up to you to determine the best way to start your day because consistency is the real key. 

The best step, in my opinion, for a successful morning routine is to simply let light in. This alone will increase those feelings of wakefulness, making the rest of this routine a little easier. After we let the light in, it is proven to be helpful to make your bed. By completing a task, first think in the morning, you can increase your own self-confidence and may be more inclined to complete the rest of your daily tasks.

Drink water and eat breakfast! Dehydration and lack of nutrients can decrease your daily cognitive functions, so don’t forget that banana! Starting your day with a meal can also boost your metabolism to help you with any meal routines you may set for yourself throughout the rest of your day.

Lastly, before you leave the house, it may be helpful to set 5 minutes aside to either meditate, set your daily intentions, stretch your body, or write down your daily goals. Beginning your day with just 5 minutes of focusing ONLY on yourself will pay off, in terms of your mental health, in finding your center and creating stability in your day. If your day seems to be straying from your comfort zone, you can fall back on those 5 minutes and refocus your day. 

Night routines can be just as important as morning routines. Shower, focus on your skincare or haircare, eat dinner, and refocus your intentions for the day to come by taking 5 more minutes, just for you. Just like a morning routine can set you up for the rest of the day, a night time routine can help to wipe the slate clean for the day to come. It can give you an opportunity to thank yourself for making it through one more day. 

As we finish up our nightly routine, lie your head down to go to sleep, remind yourself that tomorrow is a new day and you can conquer anything you put your mind to. 

Go out and conquer your day!