Back to School Ready - From Our Therapists

Having great organizational skills is the key to success! This is the key to having a great school year as well. No one is born being organized, we can all brush up on our skills. The first thing you have to remember is to be patient with yourself while you learn a new routine. Learning takes practice and the more you practice, the easier it will become.

Here are a few tips to get your children (or yourself) ready for the new school year:

1. Use checklists - Using checklists to post assignments, chores or even reminders of what materials your children might need for class is a good habit to have. Purchase a small planner or notebook for your child and dedicate it specifically to listing homework assignments. Once they are done with homework assignments, projects or any other tasks have them cross them off. This list will give them a sense of accomplishment!

2. Break down tasks - By making tasks smaller, we make them more manageable. This makes it easier to feel accomplished, thus boosting our confidence. Use this boost to help you complete the entire project. Baby steps need to be celebrated to increase your motivation to complete your school work.

3. Organize homework assignments - Encourage your child to do their homework assignments in the order that they should be completed. A good way to structure this is by starting with the shortest or “easiest” assignment first and then moving to the longest assignment. Any bigger assignments or projects that aren’t due right away can be worked on in smaller chunks than typical homework assignments.

4. Designate a study space - Having a designated workspace and/or study space allows for consistency. Your child should ultimately have a designated work space for studying and doing homework that is quiet and away from most distractions. Ultimately, having their school supplies and materials nearby would also be best. It would also help for them to have designated study times that aren’t too long.

5. Take breaks - Having time to eat, relax and play are also important in helping us finish assignments. Taking a mental time out from learning and doing things helps us recharge. This is helpful in helping us complete an assignment, think of it as a reward for the work you have been completing.

Going back to school is never easy. Sure you may have some excitement but it is usually combined with worry. By being more organized and prepared you can make some of that worry go away. Have a great first day and month of school!

How to Love Your Body - From Our Therapists

Poor body image can affect so many of us in so many different ways, including in many of our relationships, careers, and our overall quality of life. A lot of the time we tend to hyperfocus on specific parts of our bodies such as our stomachs, noses, thighs, and more. At the end of the day, we are the only ones that truly notice the “imperfections” that we think we have. If we were to ask anyone else they’d tell us we look great, amazing and lovely. Yet, we choose to not believe them.

Many people, even young children can express concern about body weight. Thankfully many children do outgrow these worries as time goes on. It usually happens most with children as young as 8 who are most likely reacting to peer pressure which in turn causes self-consciousness rather than a true disorder. A more distorted sense of self can definitely be more real for pre-teens all the way through adulthood, with more women suffering than men.

Most of the time these feelings are caused by children seeing their parent’s relationships with their own bodies. The way parent’s see themselves can definitely influence and molds a child’s ideas about their own bodies. Women are also more likely to suffer with distortions of body image due to the constant photoshopping that we see on social media and current beauty standards.

Thankfully, we are slowly branching away from the photoshopped images and people are beginning to appreciate themselves more for who they are which is allowing for many of us to truly feel more comfortable in our own skin.

Take these steps to start loving your body more:

1. Curb social media, and platforms where people are constantly pushing unrealistic beauty standards. We can even stay on social media but maybe unfollow all of those people who make you feel bad about yourself, and start following those that empower you instead. Take in media that shows you what real people and real bodies look like.

2. Do the things that make you feel good about yourself. Eat things that make you feel good and get your body moving to give you energy and flow.

3. Remind yourself every morning that you are beautiful, unique and deserving of love and good energy. Create an affirmation that you are happy to wake up to every morning. No one deserves to wake up daily and feel horrible about living in their own body.

4. Get out in the sun and absorb some rays. This will help you feel better, Vitamin D has been proven to boost positive moods.

5. Be realistic and grateful for your able body. Having gratitude for what your body can do is a great step towards loving yourself.

If you feel like you are currently dealing with poor body image, you can reach out to us and schedule an initial session with our counselors to set up a plan to help you overcome the emotions you may be feeling towards yourself. Growth isn’t linear, but we are always here to help.

3 Ways Therapists Suggest to Improve Your Self-Love

Have you noticed how often self-love is spoken about on a day to day basis compared to a couple of years ago? This is because people have started to realize that they need to prioritize their well being over their jobs and other obligations that spread them too thin. We all have a unique way of loving ourselves.

However, if you are unsure of how to start showing yourself some love, then here are three tangible ways for you to begin practicing self love.

1. Don’t compare yourself to others on social media:

We are all guilty of hopping on our social media apps such as instagram, twitter, or even tiktok only to see our favorite influencers do something amazing that may make us a bit jealous. Our internal dialogue tends to go “I wish I looked like her '', “I wish I had a loving relationship like that” or even “They got engaged? That seems so out of reach for me.” Well, maybe it's time to limit your time on social media, but if you do log on, start to challenge your thoughts. Remember that the images posted on social media are meant to show only the positive aspects of people's lives. No one wants to show the raw reality of life. We all have bad days, even our favorite influencers. Try to not beat yourself up for what you see online.

2. Clean out your closet:

Getting organized and getting rid of old things will eventually make room for many new things to come into your life. Sometimes cleaning up the clutter from our mind can start by cleaning up the clutter of our day to day lives. It’s time to let go of all those things you haven't used in over 6 months. Especially if they remind you of negative periods. Never chase things that have already passed, we cannot change the past but can always influence our future. 

3. Make a list of the things that are currently working for you: 

Self- acceptance is the main key to truly loving ourselves. A very simple way of getting to this point is to realize all the amazing things that you already have going and working for you. Once you see all the amazing things that are currently occurring in your life or that you simply have to look forward to, it will be easier to accept and love yourself completely. 

Improving ourselves and making changes can be overwhelming at times, but we promise that you can do anything that you set your mind to. Yes, even learning to love yourself. If you need any help coming up with a plan, we here at Serene Mind are also here to help you. We are simply a phone call or email away.

5 Self Care Practices - From a Mental Health Counselor

Many of us equate self care to a yoga session, meditation, or even a spa day. What we don’t realize is that no amount of stress relief activities are going to help us if we aren’t properly taking care of ourselves. Going to a yoga session, but getting barely any sleep is simply going to cause us to fall asleep. Similarly, not eating well and regularly does not allow us to fuel our bodies with nutrient-dense foods that would allow us to hit the gym at full throttle and relieve necessary stress.

Below we will be discussing different types of self care and why they are so vital in our day to day lives.

1. Physical Self Care:

If you want your body to work efficiently you need to take care of it. There is a very strong connection between body and mind. When you are actively taking care of your body by fueling it with nutritious food, sleeping well, being active, and caring for your physical needs your mind will also follow suit because you are overall feeling good about yourself and probably more energized too! Making sure to attend your medical appointments and take any necessary medication or vitamins is also a very vital point in good self care.

2. Social Self Care:

We humans thrive on social interaction. It’s no surprise that socialization is also one of the key components to great self care. Although it’s difficult to make time for friends and your relationships due to work and other obligations, it’s necessary to do so! Having close connections in your life is extremely good and important for your well being. You don’t need to force yourself to devote hours on end to your friends or even work on your relationships. It truly depends on what your social needs are. The key here is to figure out what your social needs are and to create time in your schedule to create the best social life for you.

3. Mental Self Care:

The things we constantly think about and fill our minds with will greatly influence our mental well being. Taking care of our mental health typically includes doing things that get your mind going. Do you want to learn a new subject or maybe try some new tabletop games? How about reading a new book or watching a musical that not only inspires you but gets your mind thinking. Mental self care as a whole simply involves doing things that help you stay mentally healthy. Simply practicing acceptance and positive affirmations helps you maintain a healthier inner dialogue.

4. Spiritual Self Care:

When spiritual self care is mentioned it mostly involves nurturing your spirit, but does not necessarily have to involve any kind of religion. It would simply be something that allows you to develop a deeper sense of meaning and understanding or even a connection with the world, universe, or nature. You can work on your spiritual self care by meditating, attending a religious service, or simply being in nature with yourself.

5. Emotional Self Care:

Emotional self care usually includes activities that allow us to not only acknowledge but express our emotions in a more safe and regular way. It is important to foster healthy coping skills that allow us to deal with uncomfortable emotions such as sadness, anxiety, and even anger. Whether you speak to a close friend, relative, or a partner about how you feel or you decide to set time for yourself to disconnect and process your emotions, it is very important to incorporate emotional self care into your life!

Self care is all about prioritizing your different needs. It is about making a strong internal foundation, so that you are able to provide this same love to others.

Prioritize Your Mental Health, Make it a Self Love Summer

Have you ever wondered why it’s important to practice self love? Well, there are actually various reasons why practicing self love is important. Self love as a whole motivates you to make healthy life choices that will benefit you instead of hinder you. You are more likely to choose the things that will be good for your well being and serve you well. Many of these things can take the forms of exercising, having healthy relationships, and even eating healthy. 

Ways to practice self love include:

1. Being Mindful:

   When you become more mindful you allow yourself to truly understand how you feel, think and even what you truly want for yourself. This allows you to practice self love and in time you will learn to love yourself more.  

2. Good self care:

   The people that have a high sense of self love partake in daily activities that are great for their mental and physical health. Things such as nutrition, exercise and proper sleep, intimacy and healthy social interactions. 

3. Creating healthy habits:

   Creating habits can be a bit difficult to get off the ground. However, taking a day to set goals and slowly plan on how to create those habits will allow you to start! Establishing a healthy set of dauly habits will allow you to grow that sense of self love. Do these things because you care about YOU, not because it’s something you feel you “have to do”.

Just remember that to practice self love you need to first begin by being patient, kind and compassionate with yourself the same way you would treat a loved one.

Summer is for Mental Health Days

Even during the summer we need a few things to help us disconnect from the hustle and bustle of work, meetings, summer classes and more. Summer is a calmer pace and taking it easy can help you boost your energy.

Since summer is practically around the corner, here are five things that could help you boost your mental health this summer:

1. Go outside -

Many studies have shown that stress is relieved within minutes of going outside. When time is spent in green spaces such as parks, grassy fields, or even a trail your cortisol levels drop. Cortisol is known as the stress hormone so reducing this can definitely improve your mental health. Nature also boosts endorphin levels and dopamine production which in turn promotes happiness!

2. Be active -

Exercise in any form can help to decrease anxiety, depression, and negative mood by improving self-esteem and cognitive function. It helps to improve our cardiovascular and overall physical health and even helps to reduce skeletal muscle tension which in turn allows you to feel more relaxed.

3. Stay hydrated -

Being dehydrated can lead to fatigue, mood swings and difficulty concentrating. Make sure to hydrate with electrolyte drinks to boost your energy and keep you going. Drinking water is good but you have to replenish what you loose.

4. Meditate -

Having time and space to clear your mind can help you feel more grounded and connected. Make time to meditate. Even 5 or 10 minutes can help you gain clarity and peace.

5. Start a new hobby you’ve always wanted to try! -

We all have a lot of things that we want to do but constantly put off. Since summer is around the corner, this means that it is the absolute perfect time to try that one thing you’ve always wanted to do. There is no better way to relax than to do something you truly enjoy. Doing something you enjoy and trying something new is definitely a way to boost your mental health this summer.

It is summer time and this is the best time to start a mental health routine. Making your mental health a priority now can help you keep going for the busy fall to come. What are you waiting for?

Revamp Your Self-Care Routine - From Our Therapists

From the moment we are sent off to school, we are forced to adhere to a certain standard of society that is not only mentally but physically taxing for us. We are forced into a routine or even this ideology that to succeed we need to work hard and long tedious hours. To a certain extent, this is indeed correct. To achieve our goals we do have to put in the work, dedication and time.

However, it is not okay to work so hard to the point of burnout or simply to the point that we forget to eat, shower, and give time to ourselves. So how do you go ahead and make sure you’re still taking care of yourself?

The answer is simple, we need to schedule self care.

You may think that scheduling time to care for yourself is hard, but even the smallest things can be a form of self care!

Here are 5 ways that you can start incorporating self care into your daily routine to help you unwind and feel happier.

1. Get moving:

Whether it’s taking your dog for a walk, taking a bike ride or even heading to the gym. These are all great things that you can do to get yourself active and moving. Daily exercise can help you both physically and mentally by boosting your moon and reducing the amount of stress and anxiety you may feel throughout the day. 

2. Go get dinner or coffee with a friend:

Getting dinner or coffee with a friend may not seem like a form of self care. However, it’s actually a form of emotional self-care. Although it isn’t a form of self care that lasts very long after you part ways, it definitely does allow you to benefit from a social connection.

3. Spend time in nature:

Spending time out in nature whether it be a park, the beach, a mountain trail or even your back yard is an amazing form of self care. A study by Lancet Planet Health that was published in 2019 actually states that spending time in a green space is associated with a lower mortality rate than those who do not.

4. Sleep:

Get at least 7 hours of sleep! Sleep has a huge effect on how we feel on both physical and emotional levels. If you are constantly not getting enough sleep due to work, school, and crazy deadlines..well, it can eventually catch up to you and cause major health issues. Make sure yout room is the best possible place for you to get good sleep. Meaning that there should be no distractions. This way you can guarantee good REM sleep.

5. Learn to say no to others: 

We typically find it hard to say no to others, however if you’re already stressed and overworked, saying yes to your coworkers or even loved ones can most definitely lead to lots of irritability, burnout and anxiety. It may take you a little bit, but once you practice enough you’ll be able to politely tell others no. This way you can prioritize more time for your own selfcare.

All in all, self care has a positive effect on your health as well as your overall outlook on life. However, you must have the intention and commitment to invest in your well being. By doing so we can not only take care of ourselves, but we can also start removing the ideology that those who prioritize their well being are selfish. Remember: It’s okay to take care of yourself.

4 Steps to Becoming a More Confident Person - From Our Therapists

Have you ever wished you could be a bit more confident? Do you constantly catch yourself comparing yourself to others and wishing that you could be just like them? Well, I want you to know that you are not alone! Many, if not all of us wish we were more confident. It’s something that we all seek and wish to improve on.

Here are a few things that you can do to help improve your self-confidence:

1. Think positive:

Thinking positively is very hard for us a lot of the time. Especially those of us who are juggling many different obligations. However, thinking positively is one of the ultimate keys to building self-confidence. You can go ahead and do this by focusing on one thing that you are happy or grateful for during the day. This can help you focus on the good instead of the negative. Learning to focus on the positives instead of the negatives will allow you to improve the confidence you have within yourself going forward.

2. Positive affirmations:

This might sound a little silly, but hear me out! When you wake up every morning, as a part of your morning routine go ahead and tell yourself something nice. How can you do this? Well, it’s super easy. All you need is to look in the mirror and say “ I am confident, I am beautiful, I am enough.” It does not necessarily need to be these exact statements, but something along these lines. What you’re doing here is giving yourself positive affirmations and eventually you will start believing these statements without having to say them to yourself daily.

3. Acquire a new skill:

Learning new skills always helps boost self-confidence! Why? Well, when you are enjoying yourself and you realize that you are good at a new exciting skill it ends up making you happy. Getting a grasp on a new skill, showing it to others, and having fun with it is a very easy way to help boost your self-confidence. Maybe book a class on something you’ve always wanted to try this weekend!

4. Change your posture:

Simply walking with your head up, making eye contact, and standing up straight can help you not only look, but also feel more confident. Here’s an example of this: If you are meeting a new person, instead of looking down at the floor, go ahead and make eye contact. This goes ahead and shows them that you are confident even if you don’t quite feel that way yet. Eventually by pretending you will begin to feel more and more confident.

All in all, being more confident all starts with YOU! Your mind will always believe what you tell it. If you continue to tell yourself that you aren’t confident, then you WILL believe it and your self-doubt will continue. However, if you tell yourself that you can do this, that you are confident and great, then your mind will believe that too!

You got this.

Mental Health is Health - Break the Mental Health Stigma

It is important to be healthy, both mentally and physically. The two intertwine. How can we have a conversation with a colleague, or get a good night’s sleep when we are consumed with worry and thinking of something else.

We get annual checkups for physical health but how can we keep healthy mentally?

1. Take care of your basic needs:

When we feel down sometimes we don’t want to take care of our basic needs. Drinking water, sleeping regularly, and eating healthy are little big things that contribute to our mental health. Not sleeping regularly can affect your irritability and patience.

2. Maintain healthy relationships:

No one feels good when they feel lonely. Listen to others when they are speaking to you and share with them what is going on. Being with friend can increase social activity which can make us feel better about not being alone.

3. Exercising:

Believe it or not, exercising can improve your mental health! Exercise takes your mind away from other things and can allow you to focus on the present moment.

4. Treat your self every now and then:

Even though we may feel bad about buying something or doing something just for ourselves think about how far something small can go. Stop for ice cream on your way home or get a fun face mask, do something for YOU.

5. Practice being in the moment:

When we worry about things that have not happened or have already happened to us we are not able to see what IS happening in front of us. We can lose sight of what is happening in our lives and our hobbies, relationships, and sometimes jobs can be affected. When we are able to see what is happening and understand it we feel less distressed.

6. Journal:

Writing your thoughts and feelings down can help clear your brain of thoughts that can cause fear or sadness. We can make charts and illustrations with color, you can write letters (if you plan on sending them or not), or you can make lists. Having a safe place for your private feelings can give you a sense of safety.

7. Talk with a professional:

We know to go to the hospital for a broken bone, but what about a major worry? Going to see a mental health professional is very similar! Professionals can help figure out what is wrong and help relieve the problem.

Mental health is health. By taking care of your mind, your body will thank you and you will be able to do more of what you love to do. It is a synergistic relationship, with balance we can achieve great things.

New Year, Better Me - A Mental Health Perspective

As we enter the new year, many people are setting their New Year’s Resolutions. Setting goals in the spirit of self-improvement and building healthy habits can be a great thing, but only when they are made with reasonable expectations.

Here are some tips for how to set realistic mental health goals for the new year:

1. Start small –

It’s important to set attainable goals to avoid being overwhelmed. Once you have reached a smaller goal, you can set a new one!

2. Be precise –

Be clear and specific in what you want to achieve. This will make it easier to determine the steps to take towards reaching your goals and keep track of your progress.

3. Give yourself plenty of time –

It would be unrealistic to expect a drastic change in your life after only one day. When setting goals, give yourself a reasonable timeline.

4. Strive for progress, not specific outcomes –

Goals do not always need to be met! You can still draw satisfaction from your achievements, regardless of the end-result.

5. Don’t give up –

Changing your habits and trying new things is hard. It’s okay to falter or take a few steps back, but don’t let this dissuade you from continuing to work towards your goals!

New Year’s resolutions do not have to be overwhelming, they can be simple and doable. Try your best, set yourself up for success and when needed ask for help. Goals do not have to be accomplished alone.

The Importance of Holiday Expectations for Your Mental Health

For many people, the holiday season can be a source of stress and other negative emotions. During this time, it’s important to manage your expectations and remember that you only have control over your own thoughts and actions. Going into the holidays with this mindset can help prevent feelings of disappointment.

Here are some other tips for staying in a positive headspace during the holidays:

1. Set realistic expectations.

No holiday is perfect, so be prepared for some bumps along the road.

2. Live in the moment.

Rather than focusing on what may or may not happen in the future, be present in the now.

3. Maintain healthy boundaries.

Check in with yourself and communicate what you need from friends and family going into the holidays.

4. Take care of yourself.

With holiday celebrations, family get-togethers, and end of the year assignments, it’s easy to let your self-care routines fall by the wayside. Be proactive and prioritize your mental and physical well-being in order to stay grounded.

5. Set aside time to de-stress.

It’s okay to feel overwhelmed or disappointed. If this happens, give yourself time to engage in calming and joy-bringing activities, such as going for a walk, reading a book, taking a bubble bath or extra cuddles with your favorite puppy.

Remember the holidays can be a stressful time for many who feel increased pressure during this time of year. You can balance this stress by reducing the expectations you are setting for yourself. After all, the true meaning of the holiday season is sharing love and kindness.

The Importance of Gratitude - From Our Therapists

Gratitude is defined as “the quality of being thankful.”

Gratitude is given special attention during this time of year, but it is important to engage in giving thanks year-round. Gratitude helps you appreciate the meaningful people and valuable things in life. Acknowledging these good things, rather than what you may lack, will cultivate a sense of satisfaction in life.

There are many ways in which gratitude positively impact your life – as well as the lives of those around you – including:

1. Improvements in your health.

Physical and mental health are closely intertwined. The emotional benefits you’ll receive from actively practicing gratitude will carry over into improving your physical wellbeing.

2. Strengthening your relationships.

When you recognize, appreciate, and reciprocate the kindness you receive from others, your relationships will blossom!

3. Reductions in anxiety.

Practicing gratitude keeps your focus in the present moment, which prevents you from stressing about the future.

Overall, gratitude is associated with experiencing more positive emotions. To increase your happiness, give thanks consistently, not just during the holiday season!

4 Ways to Have a Happy and Inclusive Halloween

Halloween is around the corner, and for many people, that means fun. However, Halloween can also be triggering for those living with a mental illness. During this time of year, it is especially important to be mindful of your needs and the needs of others.

Here are 4 ways to make sure your Halloween is fun, happy and safe for everyone in your community.

1. Recognize boundaries can vary from person to person –

Everyone has different comfort levels when it comes to costumes, scary movies, candy consumption, and haunted houses. Surround yourself with individuals who recognize and help you maintain your boundaries (be sure to return the favor). Attempting to “push someone out of their comfort zone” or questioning their reasoning behind decisions can create an un-safe environment and/or deteriorate their progress.

2. Be careful when commenting on other peoples’ bodies and/or eating habits –

Even if you mean well, pointing out how much/how little candy someone eats or how their costume fits their body can be triggering to those struggling with their body image and/or an eating disorder. Instead try focusing on all other aspects of Halloween. This is meant to be a fun time, creating healthy memories.

3. Understand and empathize everyone has different sensory capacities -

Halloween can be especially difficult for those on the autism spectrum. Decorations with loud sounds and flashing lights, as well as tight or uncomfortable costumes can overwhelm individuals with sensory disorders. Be aware that others may not be quite as enthusiastic about touch, being scared and some may not respond to social cues very well.

3. Be kind and supportive –

Extend support, compassion, and patience towards yourself and others. Make a point to use positive language and remain empathetic to those who seem to be struggling. Kindness goes a long way!

Enjoy your time while trick or treating, and participating in fall activities while being as inclusive as possible.

School is in Session, Take Care of Your Mental Health

Back to school season is here and just like that another school year begins! Sports, clubs, extracurricular activities, and crowded weekends have started and we want to make sure you are prepared, not only for the busy schedules and challenging coursework but to make sure you are taking care of your mental health. 

When life gets busy, it is easy to feel overwhelmed by the hustle and bustle of it all. It is common to fall into old habits and allow life to take us over, feeling out of control. First, I want to remind you that this is normal, we cannot expect to be on top of everything at every moment of every day- we are going to get behind. That is okay. 

But, since we do not want to stay down for too long, here are some quick back-to-school tips to keep you or your kiddos in good spirits to begin and end this school year strong. 

Do the best you can to use positive language when talking about yourself and others.

Positive self-talk has been linked to better problem-solving abilities and different, more constructive thinking patterns than those who do not practice positive self-talk. These problem-solving skills help build interpersonal relationships, reduce stress and anxiety, and aid in maintaining friendships. 

Positive self-talk can be applied in different ways, all to make life easier for you. Here are some examples you may be able to adjust your negative self-talk as early as today:

1. Catch yourself.

   Taking the time to reflect on some of the things you may be telling yourself gives you the opportunity to notice, and make adjustments sooner the next time they come around. 

2. Challenge those thoughts.

   Your inner critic can be a nasty fella, are they always being truthful though? Using positive affirmations can be helpful in challenging those not-so-nice thoughts. Instead of saying “I am never going to get this right,” challenge that thought with “I am doing my best, and my best is enough today.”

3. Put it in your pocket.

   This may seem silly, but it is not uncommon for some of that negative self-talk to really take over and make you feel stuck or unable to escape them. Sometimes, you just need to take a break. After you have identified your negative thought, put them in your pocket, and decide to deal with them at another, more convenient time. Chances are that you will forget you put it there or you will not be feeling as critical later after the moment has passed. 

Incorporate routines wherever you can. 

Routines are difficult to maintain when life starts to get busy, but I am not referring to the same typical routines you may have thought of your whole life- wake up by 7am, make breakfast, shower, be in bed by 9pm kind of routine- Instead, try to just maintain hygiene by showering once a day, brushing your hair if you need to, brushing your teeth twice, and changing your clothes. Building routines around diet and exercise habits, like making sure you go outside at least once or eating at least 3 meals a day, can also be helpful in making sure you are providing your body with enough nourishment and activity to remain on task in school or in your extracurriculars. 

Lastly, don’t forget to take breaks. 

Though it may be hard to force ourselves to slow down and take a moment to ourselves, it is necessary. Breaks prevent burnout and no one wants to be burnt out. Even if you do not think you need one, it may be helpful for you to schedule one into your week, give yourself a chance to listen to your body, and adjust based on your needs. You deserve a break. You deserve to respect your own boundaries.

Good Bye Mom Guilt - Hello Mental Health

Having the job of a mom, mommy or mama comes with many mixed emotions and responsibility. Your cute kiddies can bring you lots of love, connection and joy. We all know moms always try to put their kids before themselves.

Does having kids and being a mom mean all of your wants and needs are no longer important?

We often find, in all moms- new and experienced- we carry a LOT of responsibilities. These responsibilities can come with moments that make us feel lonely, isolated or that we are simply not doing enough. 

It can become natural for mothers to fall into a cycle of carrying the weight of what feels like the world on their shoulders and neglecting themselves in the process. It is also common for moms to question their ability to be a good mother. We have all heard those intrusive thoughts, just constantly asking yourself if you are doing it all wrong? Does that seem familiar? 

Mom guilt is that feeling.

The feelings of anxiousness, doubt, or worry that you may be falling short of your expectations in some way. The symptoms of mom guilt can be extensive, last for a long time, and can be intense and intrusive in nature. Sometimes you may even feel like nothing you do is right and you may discount your accomplishments.

This leads you to believe that you cannot do anything right and then this is where we struggle. No one is perfect and therefore, we cannot expect every mom to be either. You will make mistakes, you may not succeed in everything you try to accomplish, but this I know, your kids love you. Even when you feel like you may be falling short, kids are resilient and are often able to work through their problems with the help of empathy and mutual respect. 

So, what does that mean for you, as a mom?

You may not feel like you’re being a perfect mom. The reality is, you’re probably not. Mom imperfections are NORMAL. I do not know a single person who can complete multiple jobs and balance multiple tasks, all while making zero mistakes… Do you? 

Your perception of what a “good mom” or a “perfect mom” is, comes from a thought usually not created by you. It is a construct that you have been passed down by society, your mother, your husband, or maybe even the book we read to better prepare ourselves for motherhood. The fault here is that mothers do not need to be perfect. In fact, they need to be imperfect.

Responding to your mistakes, repairing things that you have broken, and addressing your flaws as a human can also aid in building your child's ability to overcome obstacles and tackle tricky interpersonal situations. 

Your child’s psychosocial health actually benefits from your imperfections. If you were perfect, your child would not have the opportunity to learn how to learn from mistakes, apologize, forgive, love, or be HUMAN. 

So, here is your reminder: You are doing great, even when you feel that you are not doing your best. 

Healthcare Workers, You are Mighty Warriors

March is already here again and the only thing I can think about is growth, change and adaptation. Weathering natural disasters, storms of humanity, and storms of this new normal life of quarantine. Though I had plans to engage in a blog about boundaries, women’s achievements, and safe spaces, none of that seems relevant enough because we have all had to adjust those things within this past year. 

Today marks the awful anniversary of COVID coming to Florida and making us all pivot our 2020 plans, which have now been postponed for months.

It has been an entire year of recreating the boundaries we had worked hard to set and grieving with the hardships of family members, friends, or community members who have been affected by this virus. But through it all, you are here. 

You are a warrior and a survivor.

Today I want to talk about resilience and growth.

Here are 3 steps to start taking that can help you grow and make your 2021 dreams a reality, COVID or no COVID.

1. Live in the present moment: this is easy to say but difficult to practice. We are constantly connected and our fast pace world rarely allows for any down time. The practice of being one with yourself, your mind and body is one that helps us stay grounded. It is this concept that can help us stay calm in the middle of a storm.

2. Let go of what you can not control: staying focused on things that we can not change does not allow us to grow. This process makes us feel stuck and does not lead to productivity. By focusing on controlling our thoughts, feelings and behavior we can actually accomplish more. You can not control the pandemic but you can control if you wear a mask, when and if you leave your house, and who you associate with.

3. Have gratitude for what you have: giving thanks is always a great way to combat anxiety. By being thankful we focus on what we have and not on what we lack. Having gratitude helps us stay positive and helps us overcome fear.

This is my reminder that you have survived 100% of your hardest days. Every single day that you felt like you could not make it through, or that you simply did not have it in you- you did. When we experience life altering events that are unexpected and last for more time than we could have planned for, your brain might get tired and your heart might become heavy.

Remember that you have done it before, and it only gets better from here. 

This month let’s focus together on what we can accomplish. let us face it, we have already made it this far.

Self-Growth is a Steady Mental Health Journey

This week I decided I needed to take my own advice.

As I have been writing about self-care, self-growth and the preservation of the love we have for our own selves, I came to the realization that these things are much easier said than done. I looked in the mirror and saw someone I love, but she’s not quite present on the surface. The part of me that loves myself to the fullest potential was hiding somewhere deep within.

So, the question stands:

How do I find the version of me that is capable of loving myself, and others, to my fullest potential?

Well, first I had to figure out what was shadowing me and what it was that was dimming my light. This was not easy. This came with tears and telling myself some things that I had been pushing behind me for a long while now. I thought about why I felt like I am not good enough, why I felt like I need someone else to love me, for me to love myself, and why I allow the opinion of others to affect my mood and cloud the lens that I see the world through. Ironically, the answers were simple.

Some very hard questions that revolve around a simple explanation:

I was afraid.

I was afraid that the negative people that surround me are, in fact, right. I was afraid that the ME I see every day in the mirror is not the version of me others perceive. I was afraid that I will never get my happy ending.

This, though, is negative self-talk; something we may acknowledge but ultimately want to stay away from. There is no good reason to consistently try to believe the negative accusations that you direct at yourself.

So, I joined a yoga class. In my practice I focused fully on my breath and my intension. I brought those negative feelings in with me and I let them melt away through my pores as I went through the flow of Vinyasa.

By the end of my practice that day, the stress and anxiety that filled my head and my heart had calmed down and I finally felt grounded for the time being.

After this I suggested connecting with loved ones. So, that is what I did. I met my sister for dinner and we talked about irrelevant topics like school and how we want to redecorate our rooms. A day that started so wound up and uncomfortable turned slowly into a calm, comfortable conversation.

The last step is to set a goal. I am often very busy and find myself feeling overwhelmed by all of my responsibilities so I had to truly think about what I needed. I needed to feel comfortable in my own skin. I needed to be calm and collected while I navigate my day. I needed to show myself that I am capable of giving my body and mind more love than it has been receiving.

With that being said, I set two goals:

My first goal is to attend at least four yoga classes a week. These classes will help me become more in-tune with my physical self, helping me feel grounded in the process.

My second goal is to make time for breakfast every day. I do not always have time for more then a coffee and a quick bite on the go. Changing this routine will not only help adjust my health and eating habits it will become a healthier alternative for my mental stability and sleep cycle by creating a routine and forcing myself to make time for one specific thing each day.

I have been active in following through with these goals for two weeks now. After a week of this routine I felt better. My mind had found a safe space and I began to understand how much I had truly been neglecting myself.

After two weeks, I am thrilled. I have started to see changes in my physical self and I am finally focused on creating a better me for ME, not for others. My path may not be the right path for you, everyone is different, but I encourage you to find one.

As the wise Buddha once said, “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

4 Steps For Self-Growth - A Mental Health Perspective

How often do you find yourself looking in the mirror wondering where the 18-year-old version of you disappeared to? You look at yourself, thinking that the size of your jeans actually plays a part in your ability to make friends or fall in love. You may catch a glimpse of yourself while walking out the door and think that if you could look a certain way, maybe people would treat you differently. Negative thoughts of yourself swirl through your mind just to pollute the your self image.

Well, I’m here to tell you that those thoughts are not working for you. You will always be the only version of YOU and no one can take that away. As humans, we sometimes believe that growth is something that just comes with time. We think that things will eventually just change for the better and we will naturally just grow into the person we want to be. It is important to think deeper into that theory and imagine what our lives would be if we choose to do nothing and just assume growth will happen.

You can think of it almost like the life of a plant. Now, I have no green thumb but I do know that if you forget to water your plant and keep it out of the sunlight, it will soon wither away to a very little, frail version of its previous self. This is similar to what happens to us as humans. If we forget to love ourselves, to forgive ourselves for our mistakes, to love the body we have, we will become weak and frail. The best way to avoid this is to simply tell ourselves we are enough.

Now, I say simply, but I know this is no simple task at all. This will require work and dedication. It takes discipline. If every time we looked in the mirror we told ourselves we loved the body we live in, rather than hate it, eventually we will. Like a plant, we all need a little love, compassion, and sunlight to help us grow. Being mean to others never got you ahead in life. What makes you think being mean to yourself will?

Here are some steps to help you focus on your good qualities and the love you deserve to show yourself. Self-growth is a process, be gentle with yourself.

Step One: Locate the problem. What is affecting your self-esteem? Is it a relationship or an outside source? Where is it coming from?

Step Two: Avoid negative self-talk. Like we talked about before, speaking negatively toward yourself will only harm you.

Step Three: Connect with those who love you. This may be a relative or friend, anyone who sees the good in you that maybe you are having a hard time finding. Being around positive supports can help us remember why we love ourselves. .

Step Four: Set a goal and make it your challenge. Focus on the good around you and create routines to achieve it. Having good hygiene and a clean room will help clear your mind as well. Open the blinds to allow light and take a walk outdoors.

All of these things will be pieces of the puzzle that will eventually fit together to complete your challenge, finally showing you the full picture. Don’t forget, we are all human and no one is perfect. Rather, perfectly imperfect in our own ways.