The Intentional Postpartum - By Baby Boldly

Over the course of pregnancy, the average expectant mother spends around 20 hours preparing for her birth. Those same mothers-to-be spend anywhere from no time at all to up to two hours preparing for her postpartum experience. Therein lies our setup for a potentially dangerous postpartum period.

Some consider the “postpartum period” to be the first 6-8 weeks post birth, while others consider it to be the first 12 months. . Either way, there’s no arguing that those first 6-8 weeks are, by far, the most critical time for momma’s recovery. While we obviously advocate for birth prep, we also believe that intentionally preparing  for what happens after birth is just as important. 

When we set our intentions we often have a completely different experience than when we don’t, and  intentionally preparing for what momma’s postpartum recovery will look like, will allow for a much smoother recovery and bonding period. Maternal suicide is tragically the most common cause of death for postpartum moms. When we spend less time packing a Tik-Tok-worthy birth bag and focus on a comprehensive recovery plan, we’re all going to feel better prepared. Babies will be better off, partners, employers, the community at large gains everything from a momma intentionally preparing for her post-birth life. There are plenty of ways that society isn’t rallying around new mothers, so the burden falls heavily on mom’s shoulders to spend more of her time preparing and less time waiting for it to happen to her. When we allow postpartum to just happen to us, we are fooling ourselves. When we intentionally prepare for postpartum, we have a completely different outcome that benefits everyone. 

So how can you intentionally prepare for postpartum? Here are our top 10 recommendations. Maybe you have a few of these already on your list of preparations, but as most mommas prepare hardly at all, we suggest you consider these 10 steps to ensure you’re set for a better postpartum at home.

1. Educate yourself on what postpartum is.

2. Enlist help with cleaning your house.

3. Make at least four postpartum stations around your house.

4. Enlist help if it isn’t offered and say “yes” if it is.

5. Stock your kitchen with nutrition.

6. Consider hiring a lactation consultant. 

7. Consider hiring a postpartum doula.

8. Consider hiring a mental health counselor.

9. Consider hiring a pelvic floor therapist.

10. Clearly communicate your boundaries for visitors.

For a more in-depth explanation on these 10 ways, we’ve written a two-part blog series that you can access here. 

Resist the urge to spend all your precious pregnancy time decorating the ultimate nursery, home-editing the baby’s closet and spending money on a custom mobile. Use those nine-ish months to also plan for what’s going to be happening to you. As moms, we begin neglecting ourselves as soon as we get the positive test result, whether intentionally or un-intentionally. Be proactive and have an intentional postpartum. It matters. 

Natalie McBride is co-founder of Baby Boldly, a mission driven e-commerce retail platform that is known for offering the first non-toxic, pre-packed hospital birth bag. She is married to her husband James for 10 years and together they share two daughters - Abigail (7) and Mabel (4). They reside in Jacksonville, FL.

5 Tools to Help You Embrace Change

Experiencing a change can cause us to wonder if we have the capacity to handle change. Can we handle the unknown or a new experience? Change is an opportunity to utilize a positive mindset and look forward to something new and different.

Here are a 5 tools to help you towards positive change:

1. Patience with yourself - Experiencing a change allows us to take a pause and assess what is going on in our life. We can give ourselves permission to slow down and practice patience in a new situation. Give yourself grace to experience something new. It takes time to adjust and become used to a new job, new move, or even a new family member.

2. Vulnerability with others - Going through a change with someone else allows us to be vulnerable to our needs and the needs of others. Opening up to someone else is a great way to learn more about what we are capable of and where we can improve emotionally. Communicating what you need and how you feel can help others better understand how you feel about change.

3. Mistakes that are forgiven - Change is not perfect, so learning from mistakes and new experiences is a great way to expand our skillset, build confidence and practice grace toward ourselves and others. By realizing you expect to make mistakes, you make the standard for yourself much more attainable and less daunting. Making mistakes is a major part of growth and growth mindset. Without mistakes many inventions and things we use everyday would not even exist.

4. Aim for progress, not perfection - It is important to try, make an effort and learn. Knowing that perfect does not exist, can help you be more open minded to trying new positive things. Always try to make progress and know that you are aiming for a realistic goal. Nothing will ever be perfect, and that is completely fine.

5. Stay in the moment - Be present with yourself and try to enjoy the process. Understanding that every ending has a new beginning, is a beautiful thing. Not every day is the same, and even in challenging times we can find things to be grateful for. Find something to always be thankful for.

Every new change is a chance to grow, to learn about ourselves and those around us. If we are open to new possibilities we have the potential to become a better version of ourselves. This is exactly what we need to aim for, be kind to yourself and you will get there.

How Therapists Believe Change is Positive

Every ending has a new beginning. Change does have a bad reputation but change can actually be the introduction to a new chapter. Without change we would be stuck in a constant loop of the sameness, this could feel draining and boring. The only constant in life is change.

Here are some ways change can be positive:

1. Change gives you a new perspective - A new way of completing a task, a different job or moving to a new city are all opportunities for you to figure out how new circumstances play into the values and morals of your life. This is a great way to see what is important to you and helps you to evaluate how change can play into your existing lifestyle, thought patterns and even life goals.

2. Change can help you learn to be flexible - It is easy to fall into set patterns and a routine, but change allows you to become open to new ways of thinking. One small change can open your mind to make changes in other areas of your life.

3. Change can improve your attitude - Sometimes, a change can be just the thing you need to get out of a rut and improve your outlook on life.

4. Change can help you grow - Accepting change is not always easy, but learning to deal with change can help you grow. This in turn can make change become easier to accept and to build confidence in your ability to try something new.

5. Change allows you to reflect on progress - When a change is presented to you, it is a chance to reflect on the past and become excited about the future. Thinking ahead to what you can accomplish when a change is introduced to you is a chance to become renewed by the potential awaiting you.

Change can be a rewarding and exciting experience if we open up our minds to the positive possibilities. Thinking of change as a new opportunity to expand your thinking will help you to look at change in a positive way.

How to Love Your Body - From Our Therapists

Poor body image can affect so many of us in so many different ways, including in many of our relationships, careers, and our overall quality of life. A lot of the time we tend to hyperfocus on specific parts of our bodies such as our stomachs, noses, thighs, and more. At the end of the day, we are the only ones that truly notice the “imperfections” that we think we have. If we were to ask anyone else they’d tell us we look great, amazing and lovely. Yet, we choose to not believe them.

Many people, even young children can express concern about body weight. Thankfully many children do outgrow these worries as time goes on. It usually happens most with children as young as 8 who are most likely reacting to peer pressure which in turn causes self-consciousness rather than a true disorder. A more distorted sense of self can definitely be more real for pre-teens all the way through adulthood, with more women suffering than men.

Most of the time these feelings are caused by children seeing their parent’s relationships with their own bodies. The way parent’s see themselves can definitely influence and molds a child’s ideas about their own bodies. Women are also more likely to suffer with distortions of body image due to the constant photoshopping that we see on social media and current beauty standards.

Thankfully, we are slowly branching away from the photoshopped images and people are beginning to appreciate themselves more for who they are which is allowing for many of us to truly feel more comfortable in our own skin.

Take these steps to start loving your body more:

1. Curb social media, and platforms where people are constantly pushing unrealistic beauty standards. We can even stay on social media but maybe unfollow all of those people who make you feel bad about yourself, and start following those that empower you instead. Take in media that shows you what real people and real bodies look like.

2. Do the things that make you feel good about yourself. Eat things that make you feel good and get your body moving to give you energy and flow.

3. Remind yourself every morning that you are beautiful, unique and deserving of love and good energy. Create an affirmation that you are happy to wake up to every morning. No one deserves to wake up daily and feel horrible about living in their own body.

4. Get out in the sun and absorb some rays. This will help you feel better, Vitamin D has been proven to boost positive moods.

5. Be realistic and grateful for your able body. Having gratitude for what your body can do is a great step towards loving yourself.

If you feel like you are currently dealing with poor body image, you can reach out to us and schedule an initial session with our counselors to set up a plan to help you overcome the emotions you may be feeling towards yourself. Growth isn’t linear, but we are always here to help.

3 Ways Therapists Suggest to Improve Your Self-Love

Have you noticed how often self-love is spoken about on a day to day basis compared to a couple of years ago? This is because people have started to realize that they need to prioritize their well being over their jobs and other obligations that spread them too thin. We all have a unique way of loving ourselves.

However, if you are unsure of how to start showing yourself some love, then here are three tangible ways for you to begin practicing self love.

1. Don’t compare yourself to others on social media:

We are all guilty of hopping on our social media apps such as instagram, twitter, or even tiktok only to see our favorite influencers do something amazing that may make us a bit jealous. Our internal dialogue tends to go “I wish I looked like her '', “I wish I had a loving relationship like that” or even “They got engaged? That seems so out of reach for me.” Well, maybe it's time to limit your time on social media, but if you do log on, start to challenge your thoughts. Remember that the images posted on social media are meant to show only the positive aspects of people's lives. No one wants to show the raw reality of life. We all have bad days, even our favorite influencers. Try to not beat yourself up for what you see online.

2. Clean out your closet:

Getting organized and getting rid of old things will eventually make room for many new things to come into your life. Sometimes cleaning up the clutter from our mind can start by cleaning up the clutter of our day to day lives. It’s time to let go of all those things you haven't used in over 6 months. Especially if they remind you of negative periods. Never chase things that have already passed, we cannot change the past but can always influence our future. 

3. Make a list of the things that are currently working for you: 

Self- acceptance is the main key to truly loving ourselves. A very simple way of getting to this point is to realize all the amazing things that you already have going and working for you. Once you see all the amazing things that are currently occurring in your life or that you simply have to look forward to, it will be easier to accept and love yourself completely. 

Improving ourselves and making changes can be overwhelming at times, but we promise that you can do anything that you set your mind to. Yes, even learning to love yourself. If you need any help coming up with a plan, we here at Serene Mind are also here to help you. We are simply a phone call or email away.

New Mommy Love - Postpartum Love from Our Therapists

The birth of a new member to any family can most definitely trigger a wide range of powerful emotions. These emotions can range from excitement and joy to great anxiety and uneasiness. Most of the time, the uneasy emotions, anxiety and even depression can last up to about two weeks, but in some cases they continue for longer periods of time. When new moms are experiencing this more severe, long lasting form of depression it is usually the sign of postpartum depression. 

For any new moms that may be reading this, we do want you to know that postpartum depression does not mean you are weak or flawed in any way. It’s actually very common in new moms. Studies show that postpartum depression actually affects 1 in 9 new mothers. Getting back to feeling like yourself may take some time, but know that it is possible!

We would like to provide you with 5 things you or someone you know could follow to help on their new mommy journey to improve postpartum:

1. Rest:

   It is very important that you rest as much as you can. Although extremely hectic, try to schedule your sleep time around your baby’s sleep time. If possible, see if someone can give you a hand so that you can rest. 

2. Get out of the house:

   Make time for yourself. Whether this is simply going out to get a massage, an ice cream cone, visit some friends, or even spend time alone with your partner.

3. Join a support group:

   It’s extremely easy to find a support group with the help of technology! This may be extremely helpful if you are needing that extra support. Many other mothers are going through the same thing. Learning about their experiences may be not only insightful but helpful.

4. Don’t do everything alone:

   I know that sometimes you might want to do everything. However, you deserve a break too! Ask your partner, family or even friends for help if you really need it. Asking for help doesn’t make you any less of a mother. 

5. Don’t make any major life changes:

   Giving birth and welcoming a new child to the world is already life changing as is. More major changes can cause you heaps of unneeded stress. Sadly, there are life changes that we simply cannot avoid. When those occur, please try to reach out to family and friends to arrange support and help you ahead of time. 

It can also be helpful to have someone you trust take care of the baby while you are managing postpartum depression. If you are currently feeling this way, don’t juggle it all alone. Tell a loved one or talk with a professional. It may not seem like it now, but it will get better. 

Your Healing Journey is Not Linear - A Therapy Perspective

Whether you have experienced mental or physical pain, healing takes time. When we scrape our knee the mark doesn’t go away over night. It has to heal and there is a process involved. When we are hurt emotionally how do we heal from that pain?

It is also a process. There are things we can do to help the process move along but it is important to know that everyone is moving at different paces.

Here are some ways to help you grow at your own pace:

1. Recognize that no one is perfect:

   The idea that perfection exists can stop us from making progress. We forget that we can be novice, make mistakes and learn.

2. Getting better, can make us feel all over the place:

   Self growth takes us wanting to sometimes feel a little worse, just before making the most progress and actually getting better. That is okay, lean into the discomfort and explore this area. You may find some answers you did not even know you had.

3. There is no right way to heal:

   Some may fall backwards and some may accelerate; healing is not the same for everyone. When we grieve for example; some people heal rather quickly and are able to get on with things for the moment but after a few months those people may start to feel more pain than they did initially. Some people may grieve for years. There are no step-by-step- lists for healing as people heal in different ways.

4. Be kind to yourself and having compassion for your own journey:

   Do what makes you feel comfortable and happy. If you are healing slowly, be comfortable with that and work from where you are. No one is feeling your personal pain but you and therefore no one has experience in how long it “should” take.

Talking with a professional can help you through a painful time or talk through past painful experiences. Everyone has a different journey and that is a beautiful thing. Healing takes time.

Mental Health is Health - Break the Mental Health Stigma

It is important to be healthy, both mentally and physically. The two intertwine. How can we have a conversation with a colleague, or get a good night’s sleep when we are consumed with worry and thinking of something else.

We get annual checkups for physical health but how can we keep healthy mentally?

1. Take care of your basic needs:

When we feel down sometimes we don’t want to take care of our basic needs. Drinking water, sleeping regularly, and eating healthy are little big things that contribute to our mental health. Not sleeping regularly can affect your irritability and patience.

2. Maintain healthy relationships:

No one feels good when they feel lonely. Listen to others when they are speaking to you and share with them what is going on. Being with friend can increase social activity which can make us feel better about not being alone.

3. Exercising:

Believe it or not, exercising can improve your mental health! Exercise takes your mind away from other things and can allow you to focus on the present moment.

4. Treat your self every now and then:

Even though we may feel bad about buying something or doing something just for ourselves think about how far something small can go. Stop for ice cream on your way home or get a fun face mask, do something for YOU.

5. Practice being in the moment:

When we worry about things that have not happened or have already happened to us we are not able to see what IS happening in front of us. We can lose sight of what is happening in our lives and our hobbies, relationships, and sometimes jobs can be affected. When we are able to see what is happening and understand it we feel less distressed.

6. Journal:

Writing your thoughts and feelings down can help clear your brain of thoughts that can cause fear or sadness. We can make charts and illustrations with color, you can write letters (if you plan on sending them or not), or you can make lists. Having a safe place for your private feelings can give you a sense of safety.

7. Talk with a professional:

We know to go to the hospital for a broken bone, but what about a major worry? Going to see a mental health professional is very similar! Professionals can help figure out what is wrong and help relieve the problem.

Mental health is health. By taking care of your mind, your body will thank you and you will be able to do more of what you love to do. It is a synergistic relationship, with balance we can achieve great things.

Our Therapists Agree, It is Okay to Have "All the feels"

There are many emotions that we experience from day to day; anger, joy, excitement, happiness, guilt, sadness, fear, jealousy and the list goes on. Sometimes our emotions can make us feel overwhelmed and can be hard to understand. Knowing that emotions are normal and healthy can help you in see them in a healthy way.

It is easy to see why it’s important to feel happiness and joy, but why is it healthy to have uncomfortable emotions? What can anger, sadness, or fear do for us? Can our emotions benefit others as well as ourselves?

1. Anger and Sadness-

A lot of times we become angry, but anger comes from being passionate about something. We may honk at a driver that pulled out in front of us but you do so because you are passionate about your safety or the safety of those in your car. There are healthy ways we can cope with and control our anger. We can always talk with a professional or a loved one about things that make us angry. We can also take a step back and think about why this particular thing is making you feel anger. Sadness on the other hand can be harder to control as the things that make us sad at times may or may not be helped. We may not be able to retake a test, or find something that we lost. This propels us to avoid feeling sad in the future for the same reasons. Being sad means you care, just like being angry does.

2. Joy and Happiness-

Conversely, happiness and joy are positive emotions. When we hug someone we love or do well at work we can feel joy and happiness. When we are happy we are more likely to do things like exercise and be with friends and loved ones. We can often share this emotion and others sometimes will join you in feeling happy too.

3. Fear and Worry-

Experiencing fear and anxiety can help us avoid dangerous situations and are healthy and at times positive. You may experience fear before you ride a new roller coaster or you may be worried about a job interview. We can do things to alleviate these worries; prepare for situations in advance and anticipate being nervous. Talking with a professional about your fears can also be helpful in working through them.

All emotions are okay to feel.

Without emotions we would just be a bunch of robots. Understanding that every emotion we have plays an important part of who we are and what we need, is the key to becoming more self aware.

Our Therapists Know Breastfeeding is Hard Work, Let's Talk About It

This week we celebrate all the benefits that breastfeeding can bring to both the health and welfare of babies, as well as a general awareness for maternal health, focusing on good nutrition, poverty reduction and food security. 

We are not here to mom shame or make anyone feel guilty about not being able to breastfeed.

This week is NOT dedicated to discussing the reduction of other options, in the cases of mothers who cannot breastfeed or choose not to breastfeed, but instead provide resources and access in communities where there are barriers to breastfeeding, like corporate policy, lack of privacy, or high demand for women in other spheres of the workforce.

Breastfeeding is a hard and tremendous job, we know that first hand. By normalizing and discussing what benefits breastfeeding can bring, it can decrease stigma, making these choices easier for women to make. 

This year, the objectives for WBW are as follows:

• Inform people about the importance of protecting breastfeeding.

• Anchor breastfeeding support as a vital public health responsibility.

• Engage with individuals and organizations for greater impact. 

• Galvanize action on protecting breastfeeding to improve public health.

This year also emphasizes the importance of breastfeeding, if possible, during the COVID-19 pandemic, stating “The benefits of breastfeeding and nurturing mother-infant interaction to prevent infection and promote health and development are especially important when health and other community services are themselves disrupted or limited. Mothers and infants should be supported to remain together, and practice skin-to-skin contact and/or kangaroo care whether or not they or their infants have suspected, probable, or confirmed COVID-19 virus infection.”

While the world feels like a gloomy place these days, it is easy to remember we are fighting so hard for the babies of tomorrow. Making sure that women have the appropriate means and access to relevant resources to give this next generation the best possible chance at creating a better tomorrow is imperative.

This may, of course, beg the question: What do relevant and appropriate means look like to aid women in having access to the resources they may need to breastfeed? 

The Fair Labor Standards Act covers laws for women in the workplace here, in America, stating that they must be provided basic accommodations while breastfeeding while at work. This is a global initiative though and not all countries have rights protected by law for mothers in this situation.

Mamas, we are in this together and by supporting each other we can make feeding our babies an easier task.

Talk about it, advocate for other mothers, be a friend in the workplace when someone needs help. The louder the conversation, the more change that can occur.

If you want to know more information about this or participate in live webinars on the subject, find more information here: https://www.paho.org/en/campaigns/world-breastfeeding-week-campaign-2021

Good Bye Mom Guilt - Hello Mental Health

Having the job of a mom, mommy or mama comes with many mixed emotions and responsibility. Your cute kiddies can bring you lots of love, connection and joy. We all know moms always try to put their kids before themselves.

Does having kids and being a mom mean all of your wants and needs are no longer important?

We often find, in all moms- new and experienced- we carry a LOT of responsibilities. These responsibilities can come with moments that make us feel lonely, isolated or that we are simply not doing enough. 

It can become natural for mothers to fall into a cycle of carrying the weight of what feels like the world on their shoulders and neglecting themselves in the process. It is also common for moms to question their ability to be a good mother. We have all heard those intrusive thoughts, just constantly asking yourself if you are doing it all wrong? Does that seem familiar? 

Mom guilt is that feeling.

The feelings of anxiousness, doubt, or worry that you may be falling short of your expectations in some way. The symptoms of mom guilt can be extensive, last for a long time, and can be intense and intrusive in nature. Sometimes you may even feel like nothing you do is right and you may discount your accomplishments.

This leads you to believe that you cannot do anything right and then this is where we struggle. No one is perfect and therefore, we cannot expect every mom to be either. You will make mistakes, you may not succeed in everything you try to accomplish, but this I know, your kids love you. Even when you feel like you may be falling short, kids are resilient and are often able to work through their problems with the help of empathy and mutual respect. 

So, what does that mean for you, as a mom?

You may not feel like you’re being a perfect mom. The reality is, you’re probably not. Mom imperfections are NORMAL. I do not know a single person who can complete multiple jobs and balance multiple tasks, all while making zero mistakes… Do you? 

Your perception of what a “good mom” or a “perfect mom” is, comes from a thought usually not created by you. It is a construct that you have been passed down by society, your mother, your husband, or maybe even the book we read to better prepare ourselves for motherhood. The fault here is that mothers do not need to be perfect. In fact, they need to be imperfect.

Responding to your mistakes, repairing things that you have broken, and addressing your flaws as a human can also aid in building your child's ability to overcome obstacles and tackle tricky interpersonal situations. 

Your child’s psychosocial health actually benefits from your imperfections. If you were perfect, your child would not have the opportunity to learn how to learn from mistakes, apologize, forgive, love, or be HUMAN. 

So, here is your reminder: You are doing great, even when you feel that you are not doing your best. 

Healthy + Safe Mindfulness Spaces to Recharge Your Mind

As we talk about ditching ineffective work out habits and mindfulness tactics to replace them with more energizing and fulfilling routines, creating healthy spaces plays a role here.

If there is no place you feel safe, how could you possibly participate in a meaningful meditation and mindfulness practice? If you do not feel safe, how can you feel comfortable to wear what you want and avoid falling prey to those intrusive thoughts regarding the judgement of others? 

We can create a safe space for ourselves by following these 4 simple steps:  

1. Finding any space where you feel comfortable. 

This may sound easy but I really want you to think here. When you are sad or upset, where do you go? Probably your bed, maybe you go on a drive, or you might even drown your sorrows in music or video games. You may feel comfortable in these places, but it’s also obvious that you also feel sad there. It is possible you are tying this space to a negative emotion, making it difficult to feel joy or happiness here. 

You can avoid this by going out of your comfort zone and finding a new place outdoors. Another option to find a comfortable place would be to reorganize an existing place in your room or home to omit positive vibes and a calming presence. 

2. Make a space your own

My favorite way to do this is to start by thinking of a color that makes me happy. For example, I love shades and hues of blue. Try to incorporate as many or as little objects as you feel comfortable. Do not let this space be determined by the home aesthetic, but instead by what moves you to find inner calm and seek happiness.

You may also want this space to be inaccessible to others, meaning it may be nice to have a door or barrier of some kind to give you the privacy that you may need in times of discontent.

3. Scheduling time to be present in this space

We have all been in a position where we SWEAR we are going to dedicate time to our passion but oftentimes fallen short. The idea of adding space to your calendar to designate specifically for you can help hold you accountable and provide you the relief from self-guilt. You deserve time to yourself, even if you have to set an alarm to take it. 

Scheduling a time to spend in a safe space can also be a cool trick to managing anxiety symptoms. Pick a time of the day, maybe an hour or maybe 5 minutes, where you can expect to be entirely free. Make this time your designated stress time, sad time, anxious time, happy time, or whatever other emotion you feel you must plan time around. When 10am rolls around and you are presented with a reason to stress, you can remind yourself, it is not your time and you can stress about that later.  This often leads to you either forgetting the stressful event, or decreasing the intensity of the stress by allowing time to pass before tackling it. 

4. Creating a routine

You did it, you found the space, you made it safe and secluded, it is all yours, you scheduled the time and it is working: Let’s make it a habit! Going back to this space to reflect on your week can create a healthy habit of initiating your own happiness. Acknowledge this time as a priority and allow yourself to grow in your ability to find gratitude and comfort in the small moments.

Now enjoy your space to rest, relax and restore.

Our Counselors Send All New Mommies Love

The things we “forget” to talk about as new moms:

Moms have a lot on their plate and soon-to-be moms are no exception. There are a lot of things that we just don’t talk about when it comes to motherhood, pregnancy, and childbirth. But, why? Why is it so difficult for us to have conversations about these things? Where are these unwritten rules that we should let a mother figure this all out on her own?

It is important to expend all of our efforts in helping every mother be the best version of themselves. After all, this new journey is no walk in the park. Being a mom is hard work and the more help you get, the better off you, your mental health, and your baby will be.

Here are important concepts moms wish they would have known before they became pregnant:

Postpartum Depression and Anxiety are real and are not Baby Blues.

Research is now proving that if you have untreated depression or anxiety or a predisposition to depression or anxiety to seek therapy as a precaution. The chances of depression or anxiety returning during your prenatal or postpartum stages are high. Make sure you are in touch with your thoughts and recognize that feelings of sadness, guilt, loneliness and fatigue are related to depression. As well as thoughts related to past negative events and loss of pleasure in things you would typically enjoy. Also, be attentive to negative what if scenario thoughts related to parenting and motherhood. Feelings of extreme fear, worry or panic are also a red flag.

Your body will never be the same.

One new mom stated, “you look at yourself in the mirror one day and you are a normal woman, the next day you are growing a human being inside you. Then, you’re a mother with stretch marks and saggy skin. I know it’s a beautiful and incredible thing, but I wish looking myself in the mirror to tell myself ‘It’s okay. It will all be okay.’ was something someone could have prepared me for. No matter how strong you are, it is something that is a true battle.”

Some women struggle with self-image, others struggle with loneliness, being left alone for significant amounts of time with the baby when their significant other goes back to work. It is important to know that these feelings are normal. It is important to know you are not alone and other people go through these feelings.

It is easy to lose touch with your significant other.

All of a sudden the dynamic changes. No more late-nights and parties, all of a sudden your whole world revolves around a baby. Your significant other now sees you in a way they never have before, having to help you go to the bathroom and having leaky breasts. These are not things either of you have experienced so it’s normal to want to push them away or reevaluate the dynamic you once had. It’s important to give yourselves time as a couple to reconnect and find time to remember why you fell in love in the first place.

Taking time for yourselves does not make you a bad parent, it allows you to keep a healthy relationship and loving environment for your new addition.

Even though you may have heard about these things before you experience them, you still may not be prepared when the time comes. Talking about it can help you better prepare for the changes you are about to encounter. Mama, you are never alone.