Our Therapists Share 6 Social Skills for a Healthier You

Humans are social beings. We seek connection, unity and inclusiveness. As we grow older it becomes more difficult to connect with others. We become more selective, stricter with social guidelines of whom we could befriend. Socializing can feel like hard work for many of us. What if there was a way that could help us socialize more openly, with confidence and positivity?

Here are 6 ways to help you regain connections and better socialize with others:

1. Be open minded:

   Realize that having an open mind is a key to making new lasting relationships. Going into a new place, event or social setting as if you are ready to make friends and listen to others. This mindset will help you attract the people you want to create new relationships with.

2. Love yourself:

   By loving and knowing who you are you can be more confident. Go into an event knowing what you bring to your relationships and portray this. This confidence can help others be more attracted to your energy, which will also make you appear to be more socially available.

3. Practice what you want to say:

   By rehearsing and reciting how to introduce yourself, you can make yourself less nervous about the event. Having a couple of funny lines or stories is a great way to meet people. We tend to gravitate to stories about dogs, pets, babies and common interests. Come up with a way to gain potential connections by having a couple of lines that you want to say.

4. Find people with common interests

   People like you, want to be friends with you. The key here is you have find them. Having similar interests makes us automatically more likely to connect and be more able to socialize with each other. When we have similarities a group or bond can naturally grow.

5. Know your non-negotiables:

   We all have those pet peeves or values that are deal breakers in any relationship. Go into a socially setting knowing what your non-negotiable are. For some people it is telling the truth, for others it is a specific sense of humor, or possibly even an affinity for dogs. Know what your deal breakers are in a relationship and if you hear them when you are getting to know someone, realize this may be ultimately what breaks the relationship.

6. Go out and practice:

   Try, try and try again. The more you expose yourself to social settings and new people, the more practice you will have in socializing. This will make you better equipped to meet others and help you lower any social anxiety. Take baby steps and slowly but surely put yourself out there. You can do this!

Socializing in this post pandemic era is a struggle. Humana want to feel as a part of a community and culturally some of us seek this more often as well. People have become very used to isolation and are not even aware of how our social skills may have regressed. It is important to be empathetic with yourself, and help yourself get back out there again. Trying to connect, gaining more confidence in your social abilities and finding a great group of friends are all things you can accomplish.

Have you heard about our Serene Mind Social Skills Groups? Coming this fall we will have a social skills group for kids, teens and young adults. Each group will be geared to a different age group. We hope you come socialize with us!

Our Relationship Therapists Share How to Cope with Friendship Breakups

Friendship breakups can feel as heartbreaking and disappointing as romantic splits. Sometimes the paths of our lives start to move in different directions and our friendships evolve. The friendships we create can be for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. We connect with others based on common interests, opinions, and life circumstances.

The endings of these relationships can leave us feeling lost and confused. Friendships can end because of a specific event or issue, or sometimes they can slowly diminish without us even realizing it.

Here are some tips our therapists have put together to aid you in navigating a friendship breakup.

Why Do friendships end?

-Breaking of trust

-Physical or emotional distance

-Difference in views

-Misunderstandings or disagreements

- Unresolved power differential

- Abuse

How to Cope with friendship breakups:

1) Process the relationship dynamic

Give yourself the space and time to honor the relationship and grieve the loss of it going forward. Take the time to evaluate the lessons learned within the friendship and what good came out of the relationship.

These are some questions to sit on and ask yourself when processing the shifting of your friendship. Did the friendship teach you something? Did you subconsciously back out of the relationship, or put in more than the other party? What memories can you look back on and still be fond of? Where can you take accountability in challenges within the relationship? How can you grow and learn from this relationship dynamic so It does not develop in other friendships?

It may feel supportive to process the relationship dynamic with a trusted person like another friend, family member, or professional mental health counselor to help recognize any blind spots that you might be missing in your reflection.

2) Lean into self-care:

Like any breakup or loss in your life, friendship break ups can create feelings of grief, sadness, and even anger. Channel these feelings and energy into yourself care practices. Get out for a walk in nature, listen to your favorite music, treat yourself to your favorite meal. Being extra gentle with yourself when processing the ending of the friendship. It is okay to feel sad, angry, or maybe even resentful for a period of time. This is normal and natural.

When you feel ready, release the emotions that arise in healthy ways that feel safe and nourishing to you. Emotions are motivators and encouragers of movement-allow yourself to move and release the feelings and thoughts that come up that do not serve you.

3) Create space for new friendships:

Have you ever heard the saying, “when one door closes, another opens”? When you create the space for other friends or new friends, these connections have room to grow and blossom.

Dedicate your time and energy into relationships and friendships that feel nourishing during this time. When we put our thought and energy into relationships that have ended, are toxic, or are struggling, we often forget about the relationships that are supportive and healthy for us- and perhaps are even missing opportunities for potential friendships that could start to grow from even the smallest of interactions. If it feels resonate to you, try a new fitness class, neighborhood meet up, or social group- you never know what connections could be waiting for you unless you put forth effort and put yourself out there!

Just like relationships with family, colleagues, and even romantic relationships, break-ups do not have to last forever. Sometimes a “break” is necessary to move and shift within the relationship and taking time and space from a friendship can help heal some of the broken parts within the dynamic. Other times, a friendship breakup is the healthiest decision for all. All of these experiences help us grow as individuals and teaches us lessons on not only how to be a friend to others, but a friend to ourselves.

Are you struggling with a friendship breakup? We have several relationship therapists at Serene Mind who can help you process these transitions and explore these relationship dynamics. If you feel you need support, please feel free to reach out to us at hello@serenemindpysch.com, or call us at 813.321.8280. We are here to help you while you continue on your path!

5 Keys to a Healthy Relationship - From Our Therapists

Relationships are tricky. There are ups and downs, unforeseen obstacles, and they require both partners to be putting in effort in order to last. While it’s true that every relationship is different, there are practices that can be generally applied to building a healthy relationship.

Here are some key components of a healthy relationship:

1. Communication:

Open and honest communication is arguably the most important part of a healthy relationship. Communication is a two-way street; you and your partner must be able to express thoughts and emotions, but also actively listen to what the other has to say. This will allow you and your partner to be on the same page and know what one another’s expectations are for the relationship. Do not be afraid to have uncomfortable conversations – bottling up your emotions rather than communicating them will hurt your relationship in the long run.

2. Respect:

In a healthy relationship, you and your partner must have mutual respect, even if you don’t always agree with them. Respecting your partner’s beliefs or boundaries means working to understand where they are coming from, and not trying to change them. Always treat your partner how you would want to be treated.

3. Boundaries:

Setting and respecting boundaries is a fundamental part of a healthy relationship. It’s best to clearly establish clear boundaries early on in the relationship.

4. Trust:

Trust is not given automatically; it is something that takes time and effort to build between partners. Show your partner, through both words and actions, that you follow through on commitments and keep your word.

5. Support:

Provide your partner with positivity and encouragement as you support them. The form support takes depends on your partner’s needs. Communication is key in determining how you can best support your partner.

Relationships are hard work. You have to nurture your relationship in order for it to bloom and become the type of relationship you want for yourself.

A Side of Love, Forgiveness and Patience - Relationships Matter

You're at your favorite date night restaurant, and you've been looking forward to it all day. You order the salad with dressing on the side and wait patiently as you sip your glass of wine. Finally, the waitress comes over with your delicious salad bowl, and you dive right in! It takes you about a minute to notice...she forgot your dressing. A little dismayed, you flag her down when she's near, and politely let her know. She's is so sorry! She was buzzing around and it simply slipped her mind, she asks that you please forgive her. You tell her it's no big deal at all, you just wanted to remind her. You offer a reassuring smile as she scurries to go get your dressing. Within seconds, it's on the table and you go right back to your meal. It is delicious and you are once again reminded as to why this is your favorite place. 

So why when your significant other doesn't listen to what you're saying or forgets something, are you not as forgiving and friendly as you were with the forgetful waitress?

Surely you love them more than the waitress, so what is keeping you from being just as kind?

Maybe because it's a common thing, and you feel as though you are constantly reminding, and repeating yourself.

If that is the case, ask yourself this: when is the last time someone had to remind me of something?

In today's world, I can guarantee it wasn't that long ago. 

Communication comes in two primary forms. Verbal, and non-verbal. It seems that in times of frustration or stress, many of us remember our verbal communications well, but what about the non-verbal? Have you ever said something was 'okay' with your mouth, but your face and that long sigh said something else? "It's fine, I'll just run to the store myself and get it." You say, as you snatch the keys and shove them in your pocket, marching towards the door.

Body language says everything when your mouth doesn't, and it can be one of the main roadblocks to proper communication. Reactions like this can bring such unnecessary stress into your relationship when one of you feels they have to walk on eggshells and have the memory of an elephant. The solution to this is something that must be practiced, and it involves three words.

Love. Forgiveness. Patience. 

There are many times during our day that I am sure we wish we had more patience. At the minimum, can we try to give our loved ones the same courtesy as we do our waiters and waitresses? All of us know what it is like to be human, and we should try to remember that the next time we say something without saying it. Do we want to be sure that we aren't doing this all for a show, right? Let's not smile through the conversation, and lament in our heads for the rest of the evening. Forgiveness not only releases the person, but it frees you as well from the burden of agonizing over it. The most important of the three is love, and it is my favorite. No matter what, you should always speak to your significant other out of love. This is a great way to keep yourself in check, and in times of frustration, you will be shocked at the results. Their reaction to being spoken to out of love rather than irritation will not only ease them but bring you both happiness in solving the issue together. Try it. Practice it. And be kind to everyone you meet, waitress included!