New Year, Better Me - A Mental Health Perspective

As we enter the new year, many people are setting their New Year’s Resolutions. Setting goals in the spirit of self-improvement and building healthy habits can be a great thing, but only when they are made with reasonable expectations.

Here are some tips for how to set realistic mental health goals for the new year:

1. Start small –

It’s important to set attainable goals to avoid being overwhelmed. Once you have reached a smaller goal, you can set a new one!

2. Be precise –

Be clear and specific in what you want to achieve. This will make it easier to determine the steps to take towards reaching your goals and keep track of your progress.

3. Give yourself plenty of time –

It would be unrealistic to expect a drastic change in your life after only one day. When setting goals, give yourself a reasonable timeline.

4. Strive for progress, not specific outcomes –

Goals do not always need to be met! You can still draw satisfaction from your achievements, regardless of the end-result.

5. Don’t give up –

Changing your habits and trying new things is hard. It’s okay to falter or take a few steps back, but don’t let this dissuade you from continuing to work towards your goals!

New Year’s resolutions do not have to be overwhelming, they can be simple and doable. Try your best, set yourself up for success and when needed ask for help. Goals do not have to be accomplished alone.

The Importance of Holiday Expectations for Your Mental Health

For many people, the holiday season can be a source of stress and other negative emotions. During this time, it’s important to manage your expectations and remember that you only have control over your own thoughts and actions. Going into the holidays with this mindset can help prevent feelings of disappointment.

Here are some other tips for staying in a positive headspace during the holidays:

1. Set realistic expectations.

No holiday is perfect, so be prepared for some bumps along the road.

2. Live in the moment.

Rather than focusing on what may or may not happen in the future, be present in the now.

3. Maintain healthy boundaries.

Check in with yourself and communicate what you need from friends and family going into the holidays.

4. Take care of yourself.

With holiday celebrations, family get-togethers, and end of the year assignments, it’s easy to let your self-care routines fall by the wayside. Be proactive and prioritize your mental and physical well-being in order to stay grounded.

5. Set aside time to de-stress.

It’s okay to feel overwhelmed or disappointed. If this happens, give yourself time to engage in calming and joy-bringing activities, such as going for a walk, reading a book, taking a bubble bath or extra cuddles with your favorite puppy.

Remember the holidays can be a stressful time for many who feel increased pressure during this time of year. You can balance this stress by reducing the expectations you are setting for yourself. After all, the true meaning of the holiday season is sharing love and kindness.

Our Therapists Share How to Revamp Your Routines

Why are routines hard to start and hard to keep up with? They can be tedious but we know that once you are able to hone in on specific goals, routines will be an integral part of maintaining these goals.

Routines are helpful in giving us a feeling of control over our lives, even when it may seem like control is the last thing you have. Routines can also be helpful in coping with change, forming healthy habits, and reducing stress levels. 

Morning routines can be a great way to get your day started on the right track. Sometimes, getting out of bed is a struggle and it’s important to understand that you should not feel bad for skipping a morning routine. Though, having a routine may make those days a little easier. So, we can almost look at this like preparation for difficult days or weeks, while also setting us up for success on our good days.

It is also important to note that everyone’s lives are different and therefore the recommendations that I may have for a good morning routine may not fit into your life. It is up to you to determine the best way to start your day because consistency is the real key. 

The best step, in my opinion, for a successful morning routine is to simply let light in. This alone will increase those feelings of wakefulness, making the rest of this routine a little easier. After we let the light in, it is proven to be helpful to make your bed. By completing a task, first think in the morning, you can increase your own self-confidence and may be more inclined to complete the rest of your daily tasks.

Drink water and eat breakfast! Dehydration and lack of nutrients can decrease your daily cognitive functions, so don’t forget that banana! Starting your day with a meal can also boost your metabolism to help you with any meal routines you may set for yourself throughout the rest of your day.

Lastly, before you leave the house, it may be helpful to set 5 minutes aside to either meditate, set your daily intentions, stretch your body, or write down your daily goals. Beginning your day with just 5 minutes of focusing ONLY on yourself will pay off, in terms of your mental health, in finding your center and creating stability in your day. If your day seems to be straying from your comfort zone, you can fall back on those 5 minutes and refocus your day. 

Night routines can be just as important as morning routines. Shower, focus on your skincare or haircare, eat dinner, and refocus your intentions for the day to come by taking 5 more minutes, just for you. Just like a morning routine can set you up for the rest of the day, a night time routine can help to wipe the slate clean for the day to come. It can give you an opportunity to thank yourself for making it through one more day. 

As we finish up our nightly routine, lie your head down to go to sleep, remind yourself that tomorrow is a new day and you can conquer anything you put your mind to. 

Go out and conquer your day!

Goals to Help You Mentally Succeed

This month, we are still talking about the pressure of change. How is it that when January rolls around, the whole world seems to fall onto us at once? Change your eating habits. Get out of that relationship. Get into that relationship. Exercise more. Get more sleep. Write in your calendar…. And the list could go on.

Most of these changes are pressures we place on ourselves, visions of a better future or a better version of ourselves.

Though we can remove these pressures with positive self talk and practicing self-care,  some of these changes may be unavoidable.

Maybe it really is time to change those eating habits or increase your exercise routine and it took the “new year, new me” phenomenon to decide now is your turning point?

If these goals are necessary and they do simply contribute to making you a better you, we can talk about how to set the right goals and how to achieve them with ease. 

We can learn, at home, how to stare that daunting new task in the eyes and overcome the obstacle without breaking a sweat (unless your goal is exercise, then maybe we achieve your goal with lots of sweat!). 

We can do this by creating SMART goals (because everyone loves a good acronym)! 

S in SMART stands for SPECIFIC: These goals should be simple in nature to allow for an easy transition. This goal is ultimately created to help us achieve something, it is also important that this goal is sensible. We do not want to put effort into a goal that is not benefiting us. Lastly, this goal should be significant. Even though I said this goal should be simple, it should also be important. For example, if your goal is to get more exercise, for S, our goal should be something specific, simple, sensible, and significant: Going on a walk. The exercise at hand is specific, walking, and it is not difficult to squeeze into your schedule, but still has purpose and aids you in getting closer to a healthy lifestyle.

M in SMART stands for MEASURABLE: We want to be able to track our progress, so “going on a walk” may be too vague to meet our M goal. This should also be meaningful and motivating. A good example of an M goal, for our same example, would be: Going on a one walk a day for at least one mile. 

A in SMART is ACHIEVABLE: Our goal of going on one walk a day for one mile, is a specific and measurable goal, but is it motivating? Does it seem too difficult too quickly? We want this goal to be meaningful and if it is not motivating enough, you probably aren’t going to do it. We can adjust our goal to be more motivating: Going on a walk every day starting with one lap around the block and increasing by one lap, each week. 

R in SMART is RELEVANT: Can we go on a walk every day? In Florida, yes probably. In Buffalo, NY, there are blizzards and snow and truly no, we probably could not take a walk every day. But, if we live in Florida, and we are okay occasionally getting drizzled on, then our goal can remain the same because it is reasonable. 

T is SMART is TIME BOUND: Making goals that work within your schedule may be the most important because if our goal fits in all of our SMAR reasons but we can not manage to take that time out of our day, we will never get around to reaching it. If we work a 9-5, maybe take the time right after dinner to take this walk with your family. Have a back-up option for days that time may be limited. For example, if we can track our steps during our walk around the block, we may be able to walk around our house days that we can not make it outside to receive a similar step-count to get close to your goal. 

Setting and carrying out goals can be difficult, believe in yourself and make sure your goals are realistic… and smart… we can make reaching those goals possible. You have got this!

New Year, This is Me: Our Therapists Share New Year Mindsets

After a year filled with grief, loss, quarantines, and an ample amount of self-reflection, the imposition of a new year may feel daunting.

As human beings, we tend to place a lot of pressure on the beginning of a new year. A behavior we have learned and perfected throughout our whole lives, simply by participating in new year’s resolutions and taking advantage of those discounted gym membership opportunities.

January, for most of us, is what we know as an opportunity to “start fresh” and leave the previous year behind us. Except, this past year was no ordinary year. It will be impossible for some of us to leave the events that we may have experienced in 2020 in the past, as nothing but a memory, like we have many times before.

Good Riddance 2020

Throughout 2020, some of us experienced loneliness like we have never felt or financial instability that seemed unavoidable. The year 2020 has created a multitude of social anxieties, ranging from the fear of getting sick yourself to deciding to send your children back to in-person school. We have had to miss holidays, birthdays, reschedule weddings and postpone funerals. And although we may have found some fun through this dreadful year- some people got a new pet, some really perfected their yoga skills, and I think we all learned to appreciate nature a little more- some of these events were just traumatizing.

Realistic Expectations

So, I’m here to tell you that it’s okay to skip the “new year, new me” and maybe, together, we can take the pressure off the expectations of evolving and exponential growth. Instead, let’s focus on our mental health and allow ourselves to just be- be funny, be sad, be happy, be quiet, be loud, or even just be tired. If we can set our intentions for this year to simply be, growth will follow.

To begin the year, whether that means sending the kids back to school, beginning a new semester, or taking on life as a new graduate, it may be helpful to try a few things to navigate 2021 as best we can. We can start by utilizing skills of self-reflection. I may not be easy to self-reflect, as this can be just as daunting as the coming of a new year but take a look at the life you have created for yourself and allow yourself to accept an unchanged you.

Maybe though, while reflecting, you realize there are some things that you feel were not helpful or productive and maybe you are ready for change. We can then discuss some healthy vehicles for change to make those transitions as smooth as possible.

At the end of the day, or the beginning of the year, we all are ultimately faced with a new normal and we are all separately going to have to learn what that means for us.

So, welcome to 2021, or in other words, just another week…

The 3 R's to Help You Stick to Your Resolution - A Mental Health Perspective

Such as the New Year, I would like to take a closer look at New Year’s Resolutions. How many of us have made one this year, and moving towards the end of the month, aren’t feeling all that hopeful anymore? How many of us have made the same one that we made last year…and the year before that? I am writing this in the hopes that after reading it, you don’t walk away feeling discouraged, or berating yourself. All of us have things about ourselves that we would like to work on, but there are right and wrong ways to go about it. A New Year’s Resolution should not be something for us told hold over our heads like a demanding cloud of gloom. It should a goal. Humans are creatures of habit. If you have been doing the same things for the past fifteen, or even five years, please do not think that you will suddenly be able to change it at the stroke of midnight. 

The same way that a habit is made, it can be broken. Some of us don’t know how we even got to the point that we are at today, we just know that change is necessary. Know that is half the battle, having the motivation to see it through, is the other half. I would like to share a little bit of knowledge that I acquired recently that might make this whole thing seem a little more feasible. 

What are the 3 R’s of Habit Formation? 

Reminder: The Reminder is a trigger and it can come in the form of many different forms such as a location, time, struggle, emotion, or action. A good amount of the time, this isn’t something that is within our power to change.

Routine: Then there is the Routine, which is what we do in response to the Reminder. This is where change happens. You control how you respond to that Reminder, and you alter your process. Try doing this 21 days in a row, however big or small it may be, and you are on track to modeling a new behavior.

Reward: The last is the Reward, and this is the joy within ourselves that we feel after a job well done. Don’t forget to celebrate each day that you accomplish your daily goals.

This formula is broad for the purpose of it being adaptable to all of your different situations and work habits. There is wiggle room, and forgiveness if you allow it. There isn’t room for self-doubt, or beating yourself out, so leave it all at the door, and see what happens. I wish you guys the best of luck in all that you set out to accomplish and have the happiest of New Years.

New Year, New You

This New Year do you have a resolution to be healthier, happier and to focus on the positive? Now that we are near the end of January your motivation may be dwindling. You may be starting to make excuses and prolong working out, letting negative people influence your decisions or focusing on negative events that you feel are out of your control. If you are feeling this way, you are not alone! Like many of us, you need to regain focus, set realistic goals and feel accountable. 

1. Make time for your goals: You have to plan time everyday to focus on your goals. Make a schedule for yourself and create a routine. Having a schedule will make your goals that much easier to accomplish.  

2. Set goals that are attainable and specific: Create goals that start small and that you can progress with (Ex: Walk around the block and make progress towards running a 5K). Make a list of rewards to help motivate you to complete your goals (Earn a cheat meal, a new clothing item, a glass of wine). Write down your goal details and track your progress, you will stay focused even when you feel least motivated.  

3. Share your goals with others: This will hold you accountable for your goals and success. Tell your friends and family what your goals are and ask them to help you stay on track. It will help them feel included and encourage them to give you positive feedback. Everyone needs a cheerleader!

You can make a change for yourself this year by dedicating yourself to maintaining your goals! Do not let yourself become discouraged, your great work will not go unnoticed. Keep your focus, set yourself up for success and build a great support network.