6 Ways to Overcome Anxiety

Anxiety can feel overwhelming and like there is no relief available. But, there are ways to address and tackle the stress of anxiety.

Here are six ways to help overcome anxiety:

1. Move your body - Exercise, such as walking and yoga, can aid in regulating levels of stress and help you relax. Meditation and calming breathing techniques can also promote relaxation and help to focus your mind.

2. Eat well - Another important part of taking care of your body is making sure you eat a well-balanced and nutritious diet. Incorporating fruits and vegetables into your meals can help you maintain healthy sugar levels which can improve cognitive function.

3. Talk about your feelings - Whether speaking with a trusted friend or family member, speaking with a counselor or utilizing peer counseling groups, talking about your feelings and your particular situation can help you vent and get a different perspective on your situation.

4. Utilize apps - There are many online and mobile apps available that promote well-being and aid in cultivating mindfulness practices. Find a resource that works for you so you can build a routine prioritizing calming practices.

5. Journal - Taking time to reflect on your feelings can help you see patterns in your life. By writing down your thoughts, you can see what triggers your anxiety and can work through solutions.

6. Be gentle with yourself - Try to remember that you are doing your best and allow yourself grace as you navigate through your feelings.

Though anxiety can feel neverending, there are ways to take charge of your feelings and bring a sense of calm back to your life.

4 Ways to Reduce Your Back to School Stress - From Our Therapists

School coming to a start can add pressure for everyone. It is important to take the time to focus on ways to make the transition as smooth as possible. Having a plan on how to tackle the new school year is important.

Here are 4 ways you can make sure this school year is smooth.

1. Create a routine - Did you know that predictability sends soothing messages to the brains of those that struggle with stress? Setting up a routine such as a regular bedtime, a daily gym session, or even a music playlist or audiobook that you listen to on the drive to/from school can help you solidify a routine. Something that will allow your brain to not be so stressed throughout the day.

2. Communication is key - When it comes to children, if you as a parent have changes in plans you should communicate that to your child as soon as possible. A child can become very stressed and anxious if they are unsure of how they’re getting home or where they are going. If they are caught up in the mix of complicated changes, it ends up being very difficult to focus on their learning.

3. Connect through questions - Go ahead and try connecting with your child through questions such as how their day went, who they sat next to at lunch, if anything funny or exciting happened throughout the day. You can even chime in with your own experiences when you were going to school and what caused you a lot of stress and anxiety. With that, you can end up asking them if there is anything that may be causing them a bit of anxiety with school.

4. Listen - Our natural tendency when we hear that someone is stressed is to try and fix it. However, when we go ahead and try to do that, we end up invalidating the other person's feelings and in turn not really helping them at all. Instead of trying to fix whatever it is that has them stressed. Try asking questions such as “How can I support you right now” or “Would you like to talk about what’s currently bothering you?” Once you listen to them, if you have a thought that you feel may be helpful, go ahead and ask them if it’s okay for you to share it.

As we all transition back to school, remember to take care of yourself too. The best support a child can have is an adult who is taking care of their own well being and mental health too!

Back to School Ready - From Our Therapists

Having great organizational skills is the key to success! This is the key to having a great school year as well. No one is born being organized, we can all brush up on our skills. The first thing you have to remember is to be patient with yourself while you learn a new routine. Learning takes practice and the more you practice, the easier it will become.

Here are a few tips to get your children (or yourself) ready for the new school year:

1. Use checklists - Using checklists to post assignments, chores or even reminders of what materials your children might need for class is a good habit to have. Purchase a small planner or notebook for your child and dedicate it specifically to listing homework assignments. Once they are done with homework assignments, projects or any other tasks have them cross them off. This list will give them a sense of accomplishment!

2. Break down tasks - By making tasks smaller, we make them more manageable. This makes it easier to feel accomplished, thus boosting our confidence. Use this boost to help you complete the entire project. Baby steps need to be celebrated to increase your motivation to complete your school work.

3. Organize homework assignments - Encourage your child to do their homework assignments in the order that they should be completed. A good way to structure this is by starting with the shortest or “easiest” assignment first and then moving to the longest assignment. Any bigger assignments or projects that aren’t due right away can be worked on in smaller chunks than typical homework assignments.

4. Designate a study space - Having a designated workspace and/or study space allows for consistency. Your child should ultimately have a designated work space for studying and doing homework that is quiet and away from most distractions. Ultimately, having their school supplies and materials nearby would also be best. It would also help for them to have designated study times that aren’t too long.

5. Take breaks - Having time to eat, relax and play are also important in helping us finish assignments. Taking a mental time out from learning and doing things helps us recharge. This is helpful in helping us complete an assignment, think of it as a reward for the work you have been completing.

Going back to school is never easy. Sure you may have some excitement but it is usually combined with worry. By being more organized and prepared you can make some of that worry go away. Have a great first day and month of school!

Your Healing Journey is Not Linear - A Therapy Perspective

Whether you have experienced mental or physical pain, healing takes time. When we scrape our knee the mark doesn’t go away over night. It has to heal and there is a process involved. When we are hurt emotionally how do we heal from that pain?

It is also a process. There are things we can do to help the process move along but it is important to know that everyone is moving at different paces.

Here are some ways to help you grow at your own pace:

1. Recognize that no one is perfect:

   The idea that perfection exists can stop us from making progress. We forget that we can be novice, make mistakes and learn.

2. Getting better, can make us feel all over the place:

   Self growth takes us wanting to sometimes feel a little worse, just before making the most progress and actually getting better. That is okay, lean into the discomfort and explore this area. You may find some answers you did not even know you had.

3. There is no right way to heal:

   Some may fall backwards and some may accelerate; healing is not the same for everyone. When we grieve for example; some people heal rather quickly and are able to get on with things for the moment but after a few months those people may start to feel more pain than they did initially. Some people may grieve for years. There are no step-by-step- lists for healing as people heal in different ways.

4. Be kind to yourself and having compassion for your own journey:

   Do what makes you feel comfortable and happy. If you are healing slowly, be comfortable with that and work from where you are. No one is feeling your personal pain but you and therefore no one has experience in how long it “should” take.

Talking with a professional can help you through a painful time or talk through past painful experiences. Everyone has a different journey and that is a beautiful thing. Healing takes time.

Our Therapists Agree, It is Okay to Have "All the feels"

There are many emotions that we experience from day to day; anger, joy, excitement, happiness, guilt, sadness, fear, jealousy and the list goes on. Sometimes our emotions can make us feel overwhelmed and can be hard to understand. Knowing that emotions are normal and healthy can help you in see them in a healthy way.

It is easy to see why it’s important to feel happiness and joy, but why is it healthy to have uncomfortable emotions? What can anger, sadness, or fear do for us? Can our emotions benefit others as well as ourselves?

1. Anger and Sadness-

A lot of times we become angry, but anger comes from being passionate about something. We may honk at a driver that pulled out in front of us but you do so because you are passionate about your safety or the safety of those in your car. There are healthy ways we can cope with and control our anger. We can always talk with a professional or a loved one about things that make us angry. We can also take a step back and think about why this particular thing is making you feel anger. Sadness on the other hand can be harder to control as the things that make us sad at times may or may not be helped. We may not be able to retake a test, or find something that we lost. This propels us to avoid feeling sad in the future for the same reasons. Being sad means you care, just like being angry does.

2. Joy and Happiness-

Conversely, happiness and joy are positive emotions. When we hug someone we love or do well at work we can feel joy and happiness. When we are happy we are more likely to do things like exercise and be with friends and loved ones. We can often share this emotion and others sometimes will join you in feeling happy too.

3. Fear and Worry-

Experiencing fear and anxiety can help us avoid dangerous situations and are healthy and at times positive. You may experience fear before you ride a new roller coaster or you may be worried about a job interview. We can do things to alleviate these worries; prepare for situations in advance and anticipate being nervous. Talking with a professional about your fears can also be helpful in working through them.

All emotions are okay to feel.

Without emotions we would just be a bunch of robots. Understanding that every emotion we have plays an important part of who we are and what we need, is the key to becoming more self aware.

Our Therapists Confirm, Asking for Help is a Sign of Self Awareness

Life is full of unexpected turns and zigzags. Sometimes life presents us with more than we can handle. We start to feel overwhelmed, sad, angry, confused or hurt. Accepting help may make you feel vulnerable, this is absolutely normal. When we open up and face our true feelings, we do become vulnerable. This vulnerability is what can help us heal, grow and show us just how strong we really are. When you ask for help you are able to accomplish more and feel better about yourself. When things start to become too heavy to carry an extra pair of hands can help. How do we know we need help and how do we get that help?

Knowing when to ask for help may be hard to figure out. It all starts with a little bit of insight, awareness and connecting with yourself. In society we are taught to be independent and to do things on our own. What society sometimes forgets is that everyone needs a little help, guidance and empathy.

Some signs you may be overwhelmed and needing more self awareness include:

1. You are easily upset:

   Our emotions are often pushed to their limit when we try and handle too much so the smallest things could cause an emotional response whether it be crying or becoming angry.

2. Forgetting things:

   Forgetting appointments or to call someone back; small things add up and could mean that you are not giving your attention to what needs it. On the other hand when we do recognize when we need help actually accepting it is another hurdle.

3. Feeling run down or empty:

   When we are overwhelmed with negative thoughts or emotions, our tank runs on empty and we begin to feel to feel down. This can cause fatigue and burn out.

4. Being hurtful towards yourself or others:

   As our emotions peak, we may not find relief. Sometimes this can lead towards behaviors that are destructive. We may take things out on ourselves or the people we love the most.

Here are some ways to start finding help, and therapy can be part of that help:

1. Research your options:

   What exactly do you need help with? There are many resources available to you when looking for help.

2. Know you are not alone:

   Sharing your problems and worries with someone else alone helps take the burden off of you.

3. Know others want the best for you:

   Some people may be eager to help because they have your needs in mind. It is okay to set boundaries in this regard.

4. Recognize that asking for help, is a sign of self awareness:

   Society may not recognize that asking for help is a game changer for many of us. Asking for help means we recognize we can not do everything, we need guidance and we are ready to grow.

Asking for help is a great step in feeling supported, loved and connected. When you ask for help, you are asking for empathy and validation. This is a sign of your own inner strength!

The Importance of Gratitude - From Our Therapists

Gratitude is defined as “the quality of being thankful.”

Gratitude is given special attention during this time of year, but it is important to engage in giving thanks year-round. Gratitude helps you appreciate the meaningful people and valuable things in life. Acknowledging these good things, rather than what you may lack, will cultivate a sense of satisfaction in life.

There are many ways in which gratitude positively impact your life – as well as the lives of those around you – including:

1. Improvements in your health.

Physical and mental health are closely intertwined. The emotional benefits you’ll receive from actively practicing gratitude will carry over into improving your physical wellbeing.

2. Strengthening your relationships.

When you recognize, appreciate, and reciprocate the kindness you receive from others, your relationships will blossom!

3. Reductions in anxiety.

Practicing gratitude keeps your focus in the present moment, which prevents you from stressing about the future.

Overall, gratitude is associated with experiencing more positive emotions. To increase your happiness, give thanks consistently, not just during the holiday season!

It is Cool to Be kind - From a Mental Health Perspective

November is upon us, and it’s finally starting to feel like fall. In many ways, this is a good thing; the air is cooling down, pumpkin spice is everywhere, and Thanksgiving is only weeks away. However, this also means the days are starting to get shorter, which can negatively impact mental health.

During this season it is especially important to be kind to yourself and others, as both those who give and receive acts of kindness experience improvements in mental health. There are so many ways we can be kind to one another, it’s impossible to list them all.

So, to keep it simple, here are 4 ways to be kind:

1. Express appreciation!

Saying “thank you” can go a long way. Acknowledging and valuing peoples’ effort always makes them feel good.

2. Offer help!

Whether it be giving advice to a friend or assisting a coworker with a difficult task, extending support to others will ease their burden. Being kind through both your actions and words really shows how much you care.

3. Practice small acts of kindness!

These include: holding the door for the person behind you, genuinely asking service workers “how are you?”, letting the person with fewer items cut in front of you at the grocery store, and so many more! While these might not seem like a big deal, they can make someone’s day.

4. Be compassionate!

We’re all human, which means nobody is perfect. Make the effort to treat yourself and others with patience, understanding, and empathy.

Kindness can go a long way. We do not realize how much treating people with empathy, compassion and love can really just let someone feel valued. Remember that you are amazing and we are thankful for you!

Therapists Share 5 Reasons to Embrace Your Fear

Fear is often portrayed in a negative light - as something we need to “defeat.” While it is important to not let fear prevent you from living your life, it is still okay to feel afraid. Fear helps us. It is an important emotion to have. Many of us feel afraid when we are in a situation where we do not yet trust or feel safe. Listening to how we feel in situations can help us learn to trust , connect with others and feel grounded.

Here are 5 ways that fear can be embraced, just remember:

1. Fear is a normal emotion, therefore being afraid is nothing to be embarrassed about.

Experiencing anxiety or fear does not make you weak. It makes you human.

2. Avoiding or denying your fear only allows it to grow.

It is better to acknowledge, embrace, and process your fear than attempt to suppress it.

3. Experiencing fear can be a sign you are stepping out of your comfort zone.

Trying new things can be scary but facing your fears will lead to personal growth.

4. Fear provides a sense of prospective.

In order to fully appreciate the feeling of calmness, you must also know what it is like to feel afraid.

5. You do not always have to “overcome” your fear, as it can protect you.

Sometimes feeling afraid is a warning sign that you should avoid something that could be emotionally triggering or physically dangerous.

Fear is a healthy emotion. Without fear most of us would be in threatening situations or living our life on the edge everyday. A helpful amount of fear is appropriate and well needed to feel balanced.

4 Ways to Have a Happy and Inclusive Halloween

Halloween is around the corner, and for many people, that means fun. However, Halloween can also be triggering for those living with a mental illness. During this time of year, it is especially important to be mindful of your needs and the needs of others.

Here are 4 ways to make sure your Halloween is fun, happy and safe for everyone in your community.

1. Recognize boundaries can vary from person to person –

Everyone has different comfort levels when it comes to costumes, scary movies, candy consumption, and haunted houses. Surround yourself with individuals who recognize and help you maintain your boundaries (be sure to return the favor). Attempting to “push someone out of their comfort zone” or questioning their reasoning behind decisions can create an un-safe environment and/or deteriorate their progress.

2. Be careful when commenting on other peoples’ bodies and/or eating habits –

Even if you mean well, pointing out how much/how little candy someone eats or how their costume fits their body can be triggering to those struggling with their body image and/or an eating disorder. Instead try focusing on all other aspects of Halloween. This is meant to be a fun time, creating healthy memories.

3. Understand and empathize everyone has different sensory capacities -

Halloween can be especially difficult for those on the autism spectrum. Decorations with loud sounds and flashing lights, as well as tight or uncomfortable costumes can overwhelm individuals with sensory disorders. Be aware that others may not be quite as enthusiastic about touch, being scared and some may not respond to social cues very well.

3. Be kind and supportive –

Extend support, compassion, and patience towards yourself and others. Make a point to use positive language and remain empathetic to those who seem to be struggling. Kindness goes a long way!

Enjoy your time while trick or treating, and participating in fall activities while being as inclusive as possible.

School is in Session, Take Care of Your Mental Health

Back to school season is here and just like that another school year begins! Sports, clubs, extracurricular activities, and crowded weekends have started and we want to make sure you are prepared, not only for the busy schedules and challenging coursework but to make sure you are taking care of your mental health. 

When life gets busy, it is easy to feel overwhelmed by the hustle and bustle of it all. It is common to fall into old habits and allow life to take us over, feeling out of control. First, I want to remind you that this is normal, we cannot expect to be on top of everything at every moment of every day- we are going to get behind. That is okay. 

But, since we do not want to stay down for too long, here are some quick back-to-school tips to keep you or your kiddos in good spirits to begin and end this school year strong. 

Do the best you can to use positive language when talking about yourself and others.

Positive self-talk has been linked to better problem-solving abilities and different, more constructive thinking patterns than those who do not practice positive self-talk. These problem-solving skills help build interpersonal relationships, reduce stress and anxiety, and aid in maintaining friendships. 

Positive self-talk can be applied in different ways, all to make life easier for you. Here are some examples you may be able to adjust your negative self-talk as early as today:

1. Catch yourself.

   Taking the time to reflect on some of the things you may be telling yourself gives you the opportunity to notice, and make adjustments sooner the next time they come around. 

2. Challenge those thoughts.

   Your inner critic can be a nasty fella, are they always being truthful though? Using positive affirmations can be helpful in challenging those not-so-nice thoughts. Instead of saying “I am never going to get this right,” challenge that thought with “I am doing my best, and my best is enough today.”

3. Put it in your pocket.

   This may seem silly, but it is not uncommon for some of that negative self-talk to really take over and make you feel stuck or unable to escape them. Sometimes, you just need to take a break. After you have identified your negative thought, put them in your pocket, and decide to deal with them at another, more convenient time. Chances are that you will forget you put it there or you will not be feeling as critical later after the moment has passed. 

Incorporate routines wherever you can. 

Routines are difficult to maintain when life starts to get busy, but I am not referring to the same typical routines you may have thought of your whole life- wake up by 7am, make breakfast, shower, be in bed by 9pm kind of routine- Instead, try to just maintain hygiene by showering once a day, brushing your hair if you need to, brushing your teeth twice, and changing your clothes. Building routines around diet and exercise habits, like making sure you go outside at least once or eating at least 3 meals a day, can also be helpful in making sure you are providing your body with enough nourishment and activity to remain on task in school or in your extracurriculars. 

Lastly, don’t forget to take breaks. 

Though it may be hard to force ourselves to slow down and take a moment to ourselves, it is necessary. Breaks prevent burnout and no one wants to be burnt out. Even if you do not think you need one, it may be helpful for you to schedule one into your week, give yourself a chance to listen to your body, and adjust based on your needs. You deserve a break. You deserve to respect your own boundaries.

Mindfulness for Everybody - A Therapy Approach

Participating in “Mindfulness” is probably something the internet has told you to do a thousand times.

But, it is often hard to participate when we either don’t understand or don’t know how. So, what exactly is it?

The answer to that question can come in many forms. Being mindful about a situation is the process of entering the state of consciousness or awareness of something. Learning to be mindful means we can first focus on that awareness and direct it toward our present moment and simultaneously acknowledge and accept one’s own thoughts and feelings in a therapeutic way. 

Mindfulness comes in many forms the most common one being meditation.

The misconception of meditation is that it has to be something you do alone, in a quiet place, where you have to be still and have zero thoughts. I don't know about you but that just may not be an option.

The good news is, there are so many other options for us to utilize being mindful without the absence of all internal thought. 

Movement meditation is the first idea that may come to mind. Understanding our bodies' physical limitations can help us determine our mental limitations as well. This can look like yoga, running, mindful walking, or even dancing. Anything that allows us to be in the present moment, giving our bodies’ the love, appreciation, and attention it needs, can be a form of meditation. 

Mindfulness meditation is the form of meditation mentioned above. You can use this by finding a place where you can remain sitting, alone, in a quiet place, listening to your breath and pushing away intrusive thoughts. Mindfulness meditation will take hours of practice and you may not be able to do this on your first try. Being forgiving toward your thoughts and being patient with yourself are going to be common themes while practicing this type of meditation. 

Guided meditation may be a better fit for you if mindful meditation sounds too difficult or daunting. This type of meditation takes some of the pressure off of you, allowing you to relax and find peace and calm within someone else’s words or guidance. These practices can be short or long, they can aid in sleep, self-esteem, or even alertness for the day ahead. 

Visualization is the process of picturing your thoughts and intentions under a positive light in your mind's eye. Visualization can help you project the things you want to accomplish into the universe, similar to an affirmation. Sometimes, taking the time to visualize a phrase, goal, or intention can help you identify the goals you are truly working towards more clearly. 

Mantra meditation works to occupy your mind with repetition of sounds and phrases, often an affirmation or intention, clearing your mind of its typical internal dialogue. This works by picking a daily mantra, short or long, and either silently or aloud repeating it to yourself for a set period of time. An example of a mantra could be “I am present.” 

Building positive mindfulness skills can increase our situational awareness, help regulate our emotions, and learn to accept our thoughts and feelings more accurately. 

Dogs Can Be Amazing Therapists Too - Bruce Lee Therapy Pup Approved

If you haven’t yet checked out our Hello page on the website, you may not have ever seen Bruce Lee. Well, he’s a hot commodity around here, I can tell you that! Besides being adorable, some people may wonder what his role actually is in the therapy room. Today, this good boy is getting all the praise! 

Bruce’s job is to provide a safe, comfortable space for all of his clients. He is a source of comfort, support, and love (as long as he’s gotten his pre-session treats, of course). But, how does he do this? 

Well, dogs in the therapy room play key roles in supporting and maintaining mental and physical health. Though, regular therapy is definitely effective, having Bruce in the room gives the therapy sessions just a little extra love.

Animal-assisted therapy provides comfort and a positive way to cope with our stresses and anxieties. Oftentimes, when anxiety and depression begin to take over, isolation and loneliness are two common feelings that we struggle with. Having a dog around is found to decrease those feelings and provide that support and love that lifts our spirits.  Dogs naturally aid us in those feelings of optimism that we sometimes lack when suffering from anxiety. Bruce also helps decrease boredom if the session seems to have fallen into a lull. Most importantly, having a therapy dog in the room increases communication, socialization, and the sense of community in the individual who is participating. 

Not only does Bruce help our mental health in the therapy room, animal-assisted therapy also helps our physical health! 

It has been proven that being in the presence of a gentle, friendly dog can significantly affect our physiology. For example, pet therapy can actually decrease our blood pressure and improve our cardiovascular health. Imagine that! Being around a dog also increased the production of a variety of “feel-good” hormones, like dopamine and oxytocin, making our physical bodies feel more relaxed and in tune with our typical rhythm. 

Finally, Bruce encourages people to seek the help they deserve! He is a cutie for sure and truly draws in a crowd. If you were considering therapy before but was not sure if you could connect to it, let Bruce Lee be your sign! 

Our Therapists Share Thoughts On Overcoming Anxiety

Anxiety and depression oftentimes coexistent. When someone is experiencing one, it is common for them to also be experiencing the other. Last week, we talked about how to support your family member, loved one, or friend who is experiencing depression, this week we will reflect on the importance on how to continue to provide support when a loved one is feeling anxious as well! 

Let’s start with the basics, what is anxiety? 

Anxiety is the consistent and persistent feeling of worry and fear for everyday events and tasks. Anxiety is normal, and we all experience it to some extent under certain circumstances, like public speaking or looking over the edge of a tall building. Anxiety becomes problematic when it interferes with our ability to engage in daily living. This means it becomes difficult for someone to go grocery shopping or interact with a friend or coworker. 

What can you do to provide support for someone dealing with this? 

Understand that the fear is real.

It may be hard to understand or conceptualize, right? Why is it such a big deal to go to the store or hang out with a friend? It becomes easy to minimize their fear and worry, simply because you are rationalizing it. Ultimately, this fear is entirely real and the way you are seeing the situation is simply not the same as the person who is anxious. Empathizing with their fears and helping them find accommodations to this worry that can be fitting for their lives is a great way to show your support to them. 

Try your best to listen and be a safe space for them to express their fears.

Rather than telling them to calm down when you see someone getting upset about their own anxiety, try to remember it’s not personal. Getting upset with them and brushing off their fears can disrupt the trust you have built together. Listening to their worries may, not only be a way for you to connect with them, it could be a way for you to fully understand what they are going through internally, making it easier to talk them down when they are overwhelmed. 

Helping them practice mindfulness and deep breathing. 

Deep breathing is so important for someone with anxiety. When the anxious feelings become too difficult to handle, it could potentially lead to an anxiety attack which consists of racing heartbeat, intense fear, hyperventilation, and other unpleasant symptoms. Taking a moment to slow down, take some deep breaths and help your person ground themselves can take that intense panic away.  Giving them a hug can also help them feel safe and secure in their moment of weakness. 

Overall, trying to remember that everyone has different perspectives is the main goal. Every single brain works a little bit different than yours and having the ability to be empathetic, even when you cannot understand it, is a skill that takes time to develop.  Let your loved one know that you are working too and hopefully, together, you  can support each other on the long road to decreasing stigmatization and feeling better overall.

Our Therapists Share 5 Depression Do's

A change in the weather is oftentimes what we need to pick ourselves up, get outside, and take a deep breath to begin a new day. Breaking out of the cold weather funk can be a real hassle and we can only hope the dawn of a bright, warn day can help us accomplish this. But what do we do when the funk doesn’t clear for the people around us?

How can we be there to help and support our loved ones who are having a tough time getting out of a depressive episode? 

1.The first step is finding what support looks like to them. 

Some people simply need space, but others may need some help or guidance. Reminding them that they are enough allows them to remove themselves from that overwhelming feeling of guilt, as they may feel guilty about not being at their “normal” level of functioning or appearance. It’s always a good reminder to let someone know that what they are experiencing is not their fault and that you can get through it together. 

2. Have empathy for their feelings. 

Sometimes it may be difficult to understand why someone thinks the way they do. It may be hard to conceptualize why your perfectly healthy teenager thinks they aren’t good enough or why your amazing husband is having a hard time with his appearance. Try your best to listen and ask how you can help. 

3. Promote self care!

Sometimes self-care becomes the last box we check on our to-do lists, and with depression, that box may be nonexistent. Without guilting someone into doing something they don’t want to do, you can use encouraging words to help get them out of bed to brush their teeth or wash their face. Try to encourage them to sit in a brighter room in the house, or open the blinds in their own room, getting out of a dark room can help them start to feel better.

4. Get outside and enjoy the sun! 

Just like the sun can brighten our moods after a cold winter, someone dealing with depression may feel this same kind of relief. Often, people suffering from depression stay indoors for long periods of time and become deficient in Vitamin D. This vitamin is vital for keeping bones, teeth, and muscles happy and healthy. It also supports brain function and your body’s immune response.

5. Or maybe just be a quiet supporter. 

It is common for those suffering with depression to also be in the dark about their feelings so asking them to explain why they are feeling that way may become exhausting. Being a quiet presence, so you can be there if they do need you, is more than enough.

Knowing they are not alone is the best way to help someone get onto the other side of depression.

Treasure Your Friendships - Our Therapists Suggestions

Human beings want to love and be loved. We want to build connections that we treasure and make ourselves part of a group. We search for people whom we trust and appreciate. Some people may have smaller inner circles and others may have larger inner circles. Though we often think of a significant other when we hear the word love, there is another category of people who you may love even more- your best friends. 

Friendships are constantly evolving, ever changing, sometimes painful, but oftentimes rewarding. But, I am sure we all know when push comes to shove, friends get the short end of the stick in the hierarchy of life.

Between work, school, relationships, kids, family, and the ongoing list of things that need to be accomplished, where do we fit our friends?  When managing our own mental health, how do we manage our friendships too? 

The good news is, it is possible.

How do you fit in time for friends?

Sometimes all it takes is a phone call in between errands. A good rule of thumb would be simply to be honest. Tell your friends what you have planned and what is on your mind. True friends, who are around for the long haul will understand. I mean, let's be honest, they are probably busy too!

Other ways to keep a healthy balance would be to plan in advance, hang out in groups, or even ask them to join you on daily tasks. Balancing friendships and everyday chores can help you keep your routine entertaining and your friendships intact.

What makes a good friend?

Everyone has different values and non-negotiable items, these are things that we would not go back and forth on in relationships. Good friends typically have some common values like trustworthiness, being non-judgmental, being able to express empathy, and being a good listener.

What are signs of a poor friendship?

Poor friendships can hurt or harm us just as much as good friends can help and encourage us. Some common characteristics could be a friend who takes but does not have the time to give, they are not honest with you, or they do not support you. If you feel like you are constantly doing and giving, chances are you are doing too much for your friend. This might be a sign that you need to re-evaluate your friendship values.

Finding a great friend is like finding a hidden treasure, full of excitement and wonder.

We all know being a good friend is hard work and finding good friends is even harder. Being true to yourself and being honest with those you care about can help you navigate through this busy life, with some people who you truly love and appreciate!

Goals to Help You Mentally Succeed

This month, we are still talking about the pressure of change. How is it that when January rolls around, the whole world seems to fall onto us at once? Change your eating habits. Get out of that relationship. Get into that relationship. Exercise more. Get more sleep. Write in your calendar…. And the list could go on.

Most of these changes are pressures we place on ourselves, visions of a better future or a better version of ourselves.

Though we can remove these pressures with positive self talk and practicing self-care,  some of these changes may be unavoidable.

Maybe it really is time to change those eating habits or increase your exercise routine and it took the “new year, new me” phenomenon to decide now is your turning point?

If these goals are necessary and they do simply contribute to making you a better you, we can talk about how to set the right goals and how to achieve them with ease. 

We can learn, at home, how to stare that daunting new task in the eyes and overcome the obstacle without breaking a sweat (unless your goal is exercise, then maybe we achieve your goal with lots of sweat!). 

We can do this by creating SMART goals (because everyone loves a good acronym)! 

S in SMART stands for SPECIFIC: These goals should be simple in nature to allow for an easy transition. This goal is ultimately created to help us achieve something, it is also important that this goal is sensible. We do not want to put effort into a goal that is not benefiting us. Lastly, this goal should be significant. Even though I said this goal should be simple, it should also be important. For example, if your goal is to get more exercise, for S, our goal should be something specific, simple, sensible, and significant: Going on a walk. The exercise at hand is specific, walking, and it is not difficult to squeeze into your schedule, but still has purpose and aids you in getting closer to a healthy lifestyle.

M in SMART stands for MEASURABLE: We want to be able to track our progress, so “going on a walk” may be too vague to meet our M goal. This should also be meaningful and motivating. A good example of an M goal, for our same example, would be: Going on a one walk a day for at least one mile. 

A in SMART is ACHIEVABLE: Our goal of going on one walk a day for one mile, is a specific and measurable goal, but is it motivating? Does it seem too difficult too quickly? We want this goal to be meaningful and if it is not motivating enough, you probably aren’t going to do it. We can adjust our goal to be more motivating: Going on a walk every day starting with one lap around the block and increasing by one lap, each week. 

R in SMART is RELEVANT: Can we go on a walk every day? In Florida, yes probably. In Buffalo, NY, there are blizzards and snow and truly no, we probably could not take a walk every day. But, if we live in Florida, and we are okay occasionally getting drizzled on, then our goal can remain the same because it is reasonable. 

T is SMART is TIME BOUND: Making goals that work within your schedule may be the most important because if our goal fits in all of our SMAR reasons but we can not manage to take that time out of our day, we will never get around to reaching it. If we work a 9-5, maybe take the time right after dinner to take this walk with your family. Have a back-up option for days that time may be limited. For example, if we can track our steps during our walk around the block, we may be able to walk around our house days that we can not make it outside to receive a similar step-count to get close to your goal. 

Setting and carrying out goals can be difficult, believe in yourself and make sure your goals are realistic… and smart… we can make reaching those goals possible. You have got this!

A Therapist Shares The Truth About Therapy

How do you feel about the word therapy? Some of us are under the impression that attending therapy means we are going “crazy” or “insane.” This is false and if you believe this you are actually stereotyping and increasing the stigma related to mental health. Therapy is for ALL, the everyday unique person who simply wants to better them self. You do not have to be experiencing a major life crisis, transformation or a traumatic event to benefit from someone listening to you.

I want to debunk some therapy rumors and clear up any misconceptions about therapy:

1. My issues are not a big deal: Your anxiety may be related to things others may not understand or empathize with. That does not mean they do not matter or are important to you. By coming to therapy you can talk to someone who can empathize, listen and understand how illogical thoughts may be growing in your own head.

2. In therapy I will be told what to do: Nope, that is the most far from the truth. A therapist listens and guides. We do not tell anyone what to do. You come up with our choices based on what you want to accomplish. In therapy, you gain insight and the ability to make your own healthy choices.

3. My therapist does not care about my problems: That may be true or not, every therapist is different and unique. If you feel they do not empathize or understand you, please leave. Find another therapist, we are as unique as you are and we all have different talents. The most important thing for you to benefit from therapy is simply your relationship with your therapist and how well you get along.

4. It is too expensive: This can be true, but it can also be false. Therapists can work with insurance providers, some have sliding scales or discounts for college students. I always say therapy is not permanent, it is an investment. Put away your online shopping habit and instead commit to something that can help you gain better relationships, a promotion and self-esteem.

5. Talking won’t help me solve anything: Of course, it can! You just have not found the right person for you to talk to. See talking to a therapist is not like talking to a friend, spouse or family member. It is unique in that your therapist has no motif, no underlying gain. Plus they do not know you or your acquaintances. A therapist learns to see you the way you see yourself, through your own eyes.

6.  I can not change people around me: Very true, in therapy, you will learn this. But you should not be going to therapy to change people, you should be going to therapy to improve your own thinking and insight.

7. It is embarrassing: If you feel this way, talk about it in therapy. I do not see people feeling embarrassed about going to the doctor, dentist and even your gynecologist. Talking to a therapist is empowering.

8. Therapy is forever: No, it does not have to be forever. Find a therapist with a therapy style that gives you results (not every therapist is the same). You do not have to invest your entire future going to therapy.

Please remember your therapist is a human too. In fact, many of us attend our own therapy. It is not as shocking, embarrassing or outlandish as you may think. We study the art and science of psychology, it is important for us all to realize our own limitations and to consult with other like-minded humans, who are impartial and non-biased when we need an extra boost.

Therapist Approved: Back to School Survival Guide for Parents

It is the most wonderful time of year for parents everywhere, back to school month is here! As happy as you may feel, your child or teen may not feel exactly the same. So how do you know if your child or teen has anxieties that are typical or severe?

Here are some questions to ask yourself about your child or teen, before overwhelming yourself with back to school anxiety: 

1. Is your child or teen having nightmares, difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep? 

2. Are they complaining of frequent stomach aches or an upset stomach?

3. Have they distanced themselves from you or loved ones? 

4. Are they frequently practicing obsessive behaviors to help them increase a sense of control?

5. Do they speak negatively about themselves and the world around them? 

6. Do they view the world in extremes, can everything only be right or wrong?

7. Are they making frequent illogical decisions? 

8. Are they having difficulty communicating emotions and do they avoid their emotions all together? 

9. Are they having difficulty concentrating, focusing or is their mind going blank? 

10. Have they been feeling overly worried or anxious for at least six months? 

If you feel your child or teen may have anxiety talk to them first. Discuss how they feel and ask them if they would like help, just because they want to talk to a professional does not mean something is wrong with them. Reassure them and be supportive. Talking to someone just means, I am reaching out, I want to be understood and I want to improve. Help your child and your teen by searching for a professional that would be a best fit for them. Not every therapist is alike, just as not every child, teen or family are alike. 

Parents We Can Teach Our Kids to Say No to Bullies

Tis' the season of back to school shopping, open houses and new class schedules. This time of year many teens can be anxiously awaiting the new school year. For many teens this is a positive nervous, excited feeling of the first day of school. But for some it can be very stressful, nerve wrecking and even depressing. 

The topic of bullies is one that never grows old. Bullies can be found in all schools, all grades and in all cities. The population of teens that are in middle school who are bullied is ever growing. Many parents and teens are afraid, worried and simply do not know what to do. Teach your kids how to say no. 

For starters, bullies are insecure, lonely, angry and fearful. They pick on kids and teens who are quiet, shy and mostly introverted. Bullies want to feel powerful and they believe they will gain this by controlling the emotions of another. But they could not be more wrong. 

Kids and teens who are bullied are actually strong, have their own mindset and independence. They have to be reminded that they are powerful and can stand up for what they believe in. Standing up as a teen is not always easy, but is possible. Empowering a teen who has been bullied is a step in the right direction. 

As parents, please take the time this school year to talk to your children about bullies. Your child or teen may not have the courage to approach the topic, but it is of upmost importance. Bullying is a serious offense and thus it should be treated as such. Talk to your kids about standing up for what they believe in and about saying no in difficult situations. The more they practice and role play the easier it will be, if they are confronted by a bully.