The Intentional Postpartum - By Baby Boldly

Over the course of pregnancy, the average expectant mother spends around 20 hours preparing for her birth. Those same mothers-to-be spend anywhere from no time at all to up to two hours preparing for her postpartum experience. Therein lies our setup for a potentially dangerous postpartum period.

Some consider the “postpartum period” to be the first 6-8 weeks post birth, while others consider it to be the first 12 months. . Either way, there’s no arguing that those first 6-8 weeks are, by far, the most critical time for momma’s recovery. While we obviously advocate for birth prep, we also believe that intentionally preparing  for what happens after birth is just as important. 

When we set our intentions we often have a completely different experience than when we don’t, and  intentionally preparing for what momma’s postpartum recovery will look like, will allow for a much smoother recovery and bonding period. Maternal suicide is tragically the most common cause of death for postpartum moms. When we spend less time packing a Tik-Tok-worthy birth bag and focus on a comprehensive recovery plan, we’re all going to feel better prepared. Babies will be better off, partners, employers, the community at large gains everything from a momma intentionally preparing for her post-birth life. There are plenty of ways that society isn’t rallying around new mothers, so the burden falls heavily on mom’s shoulders to spend more of her time preparing and less time waiting for it to happen to her. When we allow postpartum to just happen to us, we are fooling ourselves. When we intentionally prepare for postpartum, we have a completely different outcome that benefits everyone. 

So how can you intentionally prepare for postpartum? Here are our top 10 recommendations. Maybe you have a few of these already on your list of preparations, but as most mommas prepare hardly at all, we suggest you consider these 10 steps to ensure you’re set for a better postpartum at home.

1. Educate yourself on what postpartum is.

2. Enlist help with cleaning your house.

3. Make at least four postpartum stations around your house.

4. Enlist help if it isn’t offered and say “yes” if it is.

5. Stock your kitchen with nutrition.

6. Consider hiring a lactation consultant. 

7. Consider hiring a postpartum doula.

8. Consider hiring a mental health counselor.

9. Consider hiring a pelvic floor therapist.

10. Clearly communicate your boundaries for visitors.

For a more in-depth explanation on these 10 ways, we’ve written a two-part blog series that you can access here. 

Resist the urge to spend all your precious pregnancy time decorating the ultimate nursery, home-editing the baby’s closet and spending money on a custom mobile. Use those nine-ish months to also plan for what’s going to be happening to you. As moms, we begin neglecting ourselves as soon as we get the positive test result, whether intentionally or un-intentionally. Be proactive and have an intentional postpartum. It matters. 

Natalie McBride is co-founder of Baby Boldly, a mission driven e-commerce retail platform that is known for offering the first non-toxic, pre-packed hospital birth bag. She is married to her husband James for 10 years and together they share two daughters - Abigail (7) and Mabel (4). They reside in Jacksonville, FL.

5 Tools to Help You Embrace Change

Experiencing a change can cause us to wonder if we have the capacity to handle change. Can we handle the unknown or a new experience? Change is an opportunity to utilize a positive mindset and look forward to something new and different.

Here are a 5 tools to help you towards positive change:

1. Patience with yourself - Experiencing a change allows us to take a pause and assess what is going on in our life. We can give ourselves permission to slow down and practice patience in a new situation. Give yourself grace to experience something new. It takes time to adjust and become used to a new job, new move, or even a new family member.

2. Vulnerability with others - Going through a change with someone else allows us to be vulnerable to our needs and the needs of others. Opening up to someone else is a great way to learn more about what we are capable of and where we can improve emotionally. Communicating what you need and how you feel can help others better understand how you feel about change.

3. Mistakes that are forgiven - Change is not perfect, so learning from mistakes and new experiences is a great way to expand our skillset, build confidence and practice grace toward ourselves and others. By realizing you expect to make mistakes, you make the standard for yourself much more attainable and less daunting. Making mistakes is a major part of growth and growth mindset. Without mistakes many inventions and things we use everyday would not even exist.

4. Aim for progress, not perfection - It is important to try, make an effort and learn. Knowing that perfect does not exist, can help you be more open minded to trying new positive things. Always try to make progress and know that you are aiming for a realistic goal. Nothing will ever be perfect, and that is completely fine.

5. Stay in the moment - Be present with yourself and try to enjoy the process. Understanding that every ending has a new beginning, is a beautiful thing. Not every day is the same, and even in challenging times we can find things to be grateful for. Find something to always be thankful for.

Every new change is a chance to grow, to learn about ourselves and those around us. If we are open to new possibilities we have the potential to become a better version of ourselves. This is exactly what we need to aim for, be kind to yourself and you will get there.

How Therapists Believe Change is Positive

Every ending has a new beginning. Change does have a bad reputation but change can actually be the introduction to a new chapter. Without change we would be stuck in a constant loop of the sameness, this could feel draining and boring. The only constant in life is change.

Here are some ways change can be positive:

1. Change gives you a new perspective - A new way of completing a task, a different job or moving to a new city are all opportunities for you to figure out how new circumstances play into the values and morals of your life. This is a great way to see what is important to you and helps you to evaluate how change can play into your existing lifestyle, thought patterns and even life goals.

2. Change can help you learn to be flexible - It is easy to fall into set patterns and a routine, but change allows you to become open to new ways of thinking. One small change can open your mind to make changes in other areas of your life.

3. Change can improve your attitude - Sometimes, a change can be just the thing you need to get out of a rut and improve your outlook on life.

4. Change can help you grow - Accepting change is not always easy, but learning to deal with change can help you grow. This in turn can make change become easier to accept and to build confidence in your ability to try something new.

5. Change allows you to reflect on progress - When a change is presented to you, it is a chance to reflect on the past and become excited about the future. Thinking ahead to what you can accomplish when a change is introduced to you is a chance to become renewed by the potential awaiting you.

Change can be a rewarding and exciting experience if we open up our minds to the positive possibilities. Thinking of change as a new opportunity to expand your thinking will help you to look at change in a positive way.

3 Ways Therapists Suggest to Improve Your Self-Love

Have you noticed how often self-love is spoken about on a day to day basis compared to a couple of years ago? This is because people have started to realize that they need to prioritize their well being over their jobs and other obligations that spread them too thin. We all have a unique way of loving ourselves.

However, if you are unsure of how to start showing yourself some love, then here are three tangible ways for you to begin practicing self love.

1. Don’t compare yourself to others on social media:

We are all guilty of hopping on our social media apps such as instagram, twitter, or even tiktok only to see our favorite influencers do something amazing that may make us a bit jealous. Our internal dialogue tends to go “I wish I looked like her '', “I wish I had a loving relationship like that” or even “They got engaged? That seems so out of reach for me.” Well, maybe it's time to limit your time on social media, but if you do log on, start to challenge your thoughts. Remember that the images posted on social media are meant to show only the positive aspects of people's lives. No one wants to show the raw reality of life. We all have bad days, even our favorite influencers. Try to not beat yourself up for what you see online.

2. Clean out your closet:

Getting organized and getting rid of old things will eventually make room for many new things to come into your life. Sometimes cleaning up the clutter from our mind can start by cleaning up the clutter of our day to day lives. It’s time to let go of all those things you haven't used in over 6 months. Especially if they remind you of negative periods. Never chase things that have already passed, we cannot change the past but can always influence our future. 

3. Make a list of the things that are currently working for you: 

Self- acceptance is the main key to truly loving ourselves. A very simple way of getting to this point is to realize all the amazing things that you already have going and working for you. Once you see all the amazing things that are currently occurring in your life or that you simply have to look forward to, it will be easier to accept and love yourself completely. 

Improving ourselves and making changes can be overwhelming at times, but we promise that you can do anything that you set your mind to. Yes, even learning to love yourself. If you need any help coming up with a plan, we here at Serene Mind are also here to help you. We are simply a phone call or email away.

New Mommy Love - Postpartum Love from Our Therapists

The birth of a new member to any family can most definitely trigger a wide range of powerful emotions. These emotions can range from excitement and joy to great anxiety and uneasiness. Most of the time, the uneasy emotions, anxiety and even depression can last up to about two weeks, but in some cases they continue for longer periods of time. When new moms are experiencing this more severe, long lasting form of depression it is usually the sign of postpartum depression. 

For any new moms that may be reading this, we do want you to know that postpartum depression does not mean you are weak or flawed in any way. It’s actually very common in new moms. Studies show that postpartum depression actually affects 1 in 9 new mothers. Getting back to feeling like yourself may take some time, but know that it is possible!

We would like to provide you with 5 things you or someone you know could follow to help on their new mommy journey to improve postpartum:

1. Rest:

   It is very important that you rest as much as you can. Although extremely hectic, try to schedule your sleep time around your baby’s sleep time. If possible, see if someone can give you a hand so that you can rest. 

2. Get out of the house:

   Make time for yourself. Whether this is simply going out to get a massage, an ice cream cone, visit some friends, or even spend time alone with your partner.

3. Join a support group:

   It’s extremely easy to find a support group with the help of technology! This may be extremely helpful if you are needing that extra support. Many other mothers are going through the same thing. Learning about their experiences may be not only insightful but helpful.

4. Don’t do everything alone:

   I know that sometimes you might want to do everything. However, you deserve a break too! Ask your partner, family or even friends for help if you really need it. Asking for help doesn’t make you any less of a mother. 

5. Don’t make any major life changes:

   Giving birth and welcoming a new child to the world is already life changing as is. More major changes can cause you heaps of unneeded stress. Sadly, there are life changes that we simply cannot avoid. When those occur, please try to reach out to family and friends to arrange support and help you ahead of time. 

It can also be helpful to have someone you trust take care of the baby while you are managing postpartum depression. If you are currently feeling this way, don’t juggle it all alone. Tell a loved one or talk with a professional. It may not seem like it now, but it will get better. 

Our Therapists Agree, It is Okay to Have "All the feels"

There are many emotions that we experience from day to day; anger, joy, excitement, happiness, guilt, sadness, fear, jealousy and the list goes on. Sometimes our emotions can make us feel overwhelmed and can be hard to understand. Knowing that emotions are normal and healthy can help you in see them in a healthy way.

It is easy to see why it’s important to feel happiness and joy, but why is it healthy to have uncomfortable emotions? What can anger, sadness, or fear do for us? Can our emotions benefit others as well as ourselves?

1. Anger and Sadness-

A lot of times we become angry, but anger comes from being passionate about something. We may honk at a driver that pulled out in front of us but you do so because you are passionate about your safety or the safety of those in your car. There are healthy ways we can cope with and control our anger. We can always talk with a professional or a loved one about things that make us angry. We can also take a step back and think about why this particular thing is making you feel anger. Sadness on the other hand can be harder to control as the things that make us sad at times may or may not be helped. We may not be able to retake a test, or find something that we lost. This propels us to avoid feeling sad in the future for the same reasons. Being sad means you care, just like being angry does.

2. Joy and Happiness-

Conversely, happiness and joy are positive emotions. When we hug someone we love or do well at work we can feel joy and happiness. When we are happy we are more likely to do things like exercise and be with friends and loved ones. We can often share this emotion and others sometimes will join you in feeling happy too.

3. Fear and Worry-

Experiencing fear and anxiety can help us avoid dangerous situations and are healthy and at times positive. You may experience fear before you ride a new roller coaster or you may be worried about a job interview. We can do things to alleviate these worries; prepare for situations in advance and anticipate being nervous. Talking with a professional about your fears can also be helpful in working through them.

All emotions are okay to feel.

Without emotions we would just be a bunch of robots. Understanding that every emotion we have plays an important part of who we are and what we need, is the key to becoming more self aware.

Our Therapists Confirm, Asking for Help is a Sign of Self Awareness

Life is full of unexpected turns and zigzags. Sometimes life presents us with more than we can handle. We start to feel overwhelmed, sad, angry, confused or hurt. Accepting help may make you feel vulnerable, this is absolutely normal. When we open up and face our true feelings, we do become vulnerable. This vulnerability is what can help us heal, grow and show us just how strong we really are. When you ask for help you are able to accomplish more and feel better about yourself. When things start to become too heavy to carry an extra pair of hands can help. How do we know we need help and how do we get that help?

Knowing when to ask for help may be hard to figure out. It all starts with a little bit of insight, awareness and connecting with yourself. In society we are taught to be independent and to do things on our own. What society sometimes forgets is that everyone needs a little help, guidance and empathy.

Some signs you may be overwhelmed and needing more self awareness include:

1. You are easily upset:

   Our emotions are often pushed to their limit when we try and handle too much so the smallest things could cause an emotional response whether it be crying or becoming angry.

2. Forgetting things:

   Forgetting appointments or to call someone back; small things add up and could mean that you are not giving your attention to what needs it. On the other hand when we do recognize when we need help actually accepting it is another hurdle.

3. Feeling run down or empty:

   When we are overwhelmed with negative thoughts or emotions, our tank runs on empty and we begin to feel to feel down. This can cause fatigue and burn out.

4. Being hurtful towards yourself or others:

   As our emotions peak, we may not find relief. Sometimes this can lead towards behaviors that are destructive. We may take things out on ourselves or the people we love the most.

Here are some ways to start finding help, and therapy can be part of that help:

1. Research your options:

   What exactly do you need help with? There are many resources available to you when looking for help.

2. Know you are not alone:

   Sharing your problems and worries with someone else alone helps take the burden off of you.

3. Know others want the best for you:

   Some people may be eager to help because they have your needs in mind. It is okay to set boundaries in this regard.

4. Recognize that asking for help, is a sign of self awareness:

   Society may not recognize that asking for help is a game changer for many of us. Asking for help means we recognize we can not do everything, we need guidance and we are ready to grow.

Asking for help is a great step in feeling supported, loved and connected. When you ask for help, you are asking for empathy and validation. This is a sign of your own inner strength!

The Importance of Holiday Expectations for Your Mental Health

For many people, the holiday season can be a source of stress and other negative emotions. During this time, it’s important to manage your expectations and remember that you only have control over your own thoughts and actions. Going into the holidays with this mindset can help prevent feelings of disappointment.

Here are some other tips for staying in a positive headspace during the holidays:

1. Set realistic expectations.

No holiday is perfect, so be prepared for some bumps along the road.

2. Live in the moment.

Rather than focusing on what may or may not happen in the future, be present in the now.

3. Maintain healthy boundaries.

Check in with yourself and communicate what you need from friends and family going into the holidays.

4. Take care of yourself.

With holiday celebrations, family get-togethers, and end of the year assignments, it’s easy to let your self-care routines fall by the wayside. Be proactive and prioritize your mental and physical well-being in order to stay grounded.

5. Set aside time to de-stress.

It’s okay to feel overwhelmed or disappointed. If this happens, give yourself time to engage in calming and joy-bringing activities, such as going for a walk, reading a book, taking a bubble bath or extra cuddles with your favorite puppy.

Remember the holidays can be a stressful time for many who feel increased pressure during this time of year. You can balance this stress by reducing the expectations you are setting for yourself. After all, the true meaning of the holiday season is sharing love and kindness.

Our Therapists Know Breastfeeding is Hard Work, Let's Talk About It

This week we celebrate all the benefits that breastfeeding can bring to both the health and welfare of babies, as well as a general awareness for maternal health, focusing on good nutrition, poverty reduction and food security. 

We are not here to mom shame or make anyone feel guilty about not being able to breastfeed.

This week is NOT dedicated to discussing the reduction of other options, in the cases of mothers who cannot breastfeed or choose not to breastfeed, but instead provide resources and access in communities where there are barriers to breastfeeding, like corporate policy, lack of privacy, or high demand for women in other spheres of the workforce.

Breastfeeding is a hard and tremendous job, we know that first hand. By normalizing and discussing what benefits breastfeeding can bring, it can decrease stigma, making these choices easier for women to make. 

This year, the objectives for WBW are as follows:

• Inform people about the importance of protecting breastfeeding.

• Anchor breastfeeding support as a vital public health responsibility.

• Engage with individuals and organizations for greater impact. 

• Galvanize action on protecting breastfeeding to improve public health.

This year also emphasizes the importance of breastfeeding, if possible, during the COVID-19 pandemic, stating “The benefits of breastfeeding and nurturing mother-infant interaction to prevent infection and promote health and development are especially important when health and other community services are themselves disrupted or limited. Mothers and infants should be supported to remain together, and practice skin-to-skin contact and/or kangaroo care whether or not they or their infants have suspected, probable, or confirmed COVID-19 virus infection.”

While the world feels like a gloomy place these days, it is easy to remember we are fighting so hard for the babies of tomorrow. Making sure that women have the appropriate means and access to relevant resources to give this next generation the best possible chance at creating a better tomorrow is imperative.

This may, of course, beg the question: What do relevant and appropriate means look like to aid women in having access to the resources they may need to breastfeed? 

The Fair Labor Standards Act covers laws for women in the workplace here, in America, stating that they must be provided basic accommodations while breastfeeding while at work. This is a global initiative though and not all countries have rights protected by law for mothers in this situation.

Mamas, we are in this together and by supporting each other we can make feeding our babies an easier task.

Talk about it, advocate for other mothers, be a friend in the workplace when someone needs help. The louder the conversation, the more change that can occur.

If you want to know more information about this or participate in live webinars on the subject, find more information here: https://www.paho.org/en/campaigns/world-breastfeeding-week-campaign-2021