3 Ways Therapists Suggest to Improve Your Self-Love

Have you noticed how often self-love is spoken about on a day to day basis compared to a couple of years ago? This is because people have started to realize that they need to prioritize their well being over their jobs and other obligations that spread them too thin. We all have a unique way of loving ourselves.

However, if you are unsure of how to start showing yourself some love, then here are three tangible ways for you to begin practicing self love.

1. Don’t compare yourself to others on social media:

We are all guilty of hopping on our social media apps such as instagram, twitter, or even tiktok only to see our favorite influencers do something amazing that may make us a bit jealous. Our internal dialogue tends to go “I wish I looked like her '', “I wish I had a loving relationship like that” or even “They got engaged? That seems so out of reach for me.” Well, maybe it's time to limit your time on social media, but if you do log on, start to challenge your thoughts. Remember that the images posted on social media are meant to show only the positive aspects of people's lives. No one wants to show the raw reality of life. We all have bad days, even our favorite influencers. Try to not beat yourself up for what you see online.

2. Clean out your closet:

Getting organized and getting rid of old things will eventually make room for many new things to come into your life. Sometimes cleaning up the clutter from our mind can start by cleaning up the clutter of our day to day lives. It’s time to let go of all those things you haven't used in over 6 months. Especially if they remind you of negative periods. Never chase things that have already passed, we cannot change the past but can always influence our future. 

3. Make a list of the things that are currently working for you: 

Self- acceptance is the main key to truly loving ourselves. A very simple way of getting to this point is to realize all the amazing things that you already have going and working for you. Once you see all the amazing things that are currently occurring in your life or that you simply have to look forward to, it will be easier to accept and love yourself completely. 

Improving ourselves and making changes can be overwhelming at times, but we promise that you can do anything that you set your mind to. Yes, even learning to love yourself. If you need any help coming up with a plan, we here at Serene Mind are also here to help you. We are simply a phone call or email away.

Healthy + Safe Mindfulness Spaces to Recharge Your Mind

As we talk about ditching ineffective work out habits and mindfulness tactics to replace them with more energizing and fulfilling routines, creating healthy spaces plays a role here.

If there is no place you feel safe, how could you possibly participate in a meaningful meditation and mindfulness practice? If you do not feel safe, how can you feel comfortable to wear what you want and avoid falling prey to those intrusive thoughts regarding the judgement of others? 

We can create a safe space for ourselves by following these 4 simple steps:  

1. Finding any space where you feel comfortable. 

This may sound easy but I really want you to think here. When you are sad or upset, where do you go? Probably your bed, maybe you go on a drive, or you might even drown your sorrows in music or video games. You may feel comfortable in these places, but it’s also obvious that you also feel sad there. It is possible you are tying this space to a negative emotion, making it difficult to feel joy or happiness here. 

You can avoid this by going out of your comfort zone and finding a new place outdoors. Another option to find a comfortable place would be to reorganize an existing place in your room or home to omit positive vibes and a calming presence. 

2. Make a space your own

My favorite way to do this is to start by thinking of a color that makes me happy. For example, I love shades and hues of blue. Try to incorporate as many or as little objects as you feel comfortable. Do not let this space be determined by the home aesthetic, but instead by what moves you to find inner calm and seek happiness.

You may also want this space to be inaccessible to others, meaning it may be nice to have a door or barrier of some kind to give you the privacy that you may need in times of discontent.

3. Scheduling time to be present in this space

We have all been in a position where we SWEAR we are going to dedicate time to our passion but oftentimes fallen short. The idea of adding space to your calendar to designate specifically for you can help hold you accountable and provide you the relief from self-guilt. You deserve time to yourself, even if you have to set an alarm to take it. 

Scheduling a time to spend in a safe space can also be a cool trick to managing anxiety symptoms. Pick a time of the day, maybe an hour or maybe 5 minutes, where you can expect to be entirely free. Make this time your designated stress time, sad time, anxious time, happy time, or whatever other emotion you feel you must plan time around. When 10am rolls around and you are presented with a reason to stress, you can remind yourself, it is not your time and you can stress about that later.  This often leads to you either forgetting the stressful event, or decreasing the intensity of the stress by allowing time to pass before tackling it. 

4. Creating a routine

You did it, you found the space, you made it safe and secluded, it is all yours, you scheduled the time and it is working: Let’s make it a habit! Going back to this space to reflect on your week can create a healthy habit of initiating your own happiness. Acknowledge this time as a priority and allow yourself to grow in your ability to find gratitude and comfort in the small moments.

Now enjoy your space to rest, relax and restore.

Mindfulness for Everybody - A Therapy Approach

Participating in “Mindfulness” is probably something the internet has told you to do a thousand times.

But, it is often hard to participate when we either don’t understand or don’t know how. So, what exactly is it?

The answer to that question can come in many forms. Being mindful about a situation is the process of entering the state of consciousness or awareness of something. Learning to be mindful means we can first focus on that awareness and direct it toward our present moment and simultaneously acknowledge and accept one’s own thoughts and feelings in a therapeutic way. 

Mindfulness comes in many forms the most common one being meditation.

The misconception of meditation is that it has to be something you do alone, in a quiet place, where you have to be still and have zero thoughts. I don't know about you but that just may not be an option.

The good news is, there are so many other options for us to utilize being mindful without the absence of all internal thought. 

Movement meditation is the first idea that may come to mind. Understanding our bodies' physical limitations can help us determine our mental limitations as well. This can look like yoga, running, mindful walking, or even dancing. Anything that allows us to be in the present moment, giving our bodies’ the love, appreciation, and attention it needs, can be a form of meditation. 

Mindfulness meditation is the form of meditation mentioned above. You can use this by finding a place where you can remain sitting, alone, in a quiet place, listening to your breath and pushing away intrusive thoughts. Mindfulness meditation will take hours of practice and you may not be able to do this on your first try. Being forgiving toward your thoughts and being patient with yourself are going to be common themes while practicing this type of meditation. 

Guided meditation may be a better fit for you if mindful meditation sounds too difficult or daunting. This type of meditation takes some of the pressure off of you, allowing you to relax and find peace and calm within someone else’s words or guidance. These practices can be short or long, they can aid in sleep, self-esteem, or even alertness for the day ahead. 

Visualization is the process of picturing your thoughts and intentions under a positive light in your mind's eye. Visualization can help you project the things you want to accomplish into the universe, similar to an affirmation. Sometimes, taking the time to visualize a phrase, goal, or intention can help you identify the goals you are truly working towards more clearly. 

Mantra meditation works to occupy your mind with repetition of sounds and phrases, often an affirmation or intention, clearing your mind of its typical internal dialogue. This works by picking a daily mantra, short or long, and either silently or aloud repeating it to yourself for a set period of time. An example of a mantra could be “I am present.” 

Building positive mindfulness skills can increase our situational awareness, help regulate our emotions, and learn to accept our thoughts and feelings more accurately.