4 Ways to Reduce Your Back to School Stress - From Our Therapists

School coming to a start can add pressure for everyone. It is important to take the time to focus on ways to make the transition as smooth as possible. Having a plan on how to tackle the new school year is important.

Here are 4 ways you can make sure this school year is smooth.

1. Create a routine - Did you know that predictability sends soothing messages to the brains of those that struggle with stress? Setting up a routine such as a regular bedtime, a daily gym session, or even a music playlist or audiobook that you listen to on the drive to/from school can help you solidify a routine. Something that will allow your brain to not be so stressed throughout the day.

2. Communication is key - When it comes to children, if you as a parent have changes in plans you should communicate that to your child as soon as possible. A child can become very stressed and anxious if they are unsure of how they’re getting home or where they are going. If they are caught up in the mix of complicated changes, it ends up being very difficult to focus on their learning.

3. Connect through questions - Go ahead and try connecting with your child through questions such as how their day went, who they sat next to at lunch, if anything funny or exciting happened throughout the day. You can even chime in with your own experiences when you were going to school and what caused you a lot of stress and anxiety. With that, you can end up asking them if there is anything that may be causing them a bit of anxiety with school.

4. Listen - Our natural tendency when we hear that someone is stressed is to try and fix it. However, when we go ahead and try to do that, we end up invalidating the other person's feelings and in turn not really helping them at all. Instead of trying to fix whatever it is that has them stressed. Try asking questions such as “How can I support you right now” or “Would you like to talk about what’s currently bothering you?” Once you listen to them, if you have a thought that you feel may be helpful, go ahead and ask them if it’s okay for you to share it.

As we all transition back to school, remember to take care of yourself too. The best support a child can have is an adult who is taking care of their own well being and mental health too!

Revamp Your Self-Care Routine - From Our Therapists

From the moment we are sent off to school, we are forced to adhere to a certain standard of society that is not only mentally but physically taxing for us. We are forced into a routine or even this ideology that to succeed we need to work hard and long tedious hours. To a certain extent, this is indeed correct. To achieve our goals we do have to put in the work, dedication and time.

However, it is not okay to work so hard to the point of burnout or simply to the point that we forget to eat, shower, and give time to ourselves. So how do you go ahead and make sure you’re still taking care of yourself?

The answer is simple, we need to schedule self care.

You may think that scheduling time to care for yourself is hard, but even the smallest things can be a form of self care!

Here are 5 ways that you can start incorporating self care into your daily routine to help you unwind and feel happier.

1. Get moving:

Whether it’s taking your dog for a walk, taking a bike ride or even heading to the gym. These are all great things that you can do to get yourself active and moving. Daily exercise can help you both physically and mentally by boosting your moon and reducing the amount of stress and anxiety you may feel throughout the day. 

2. Go get dinner or coffee with a friend:

Getting dinner or coffee with a friend may not seem like a form of self care. However, it’s actually a form of emotional self-care. Although it isn’t a form of self care that lasts very long after you part ways, it definitely does allow you to benefit from a social connection.

3. Spend time in nature:

Spending time out in nature whether it be a park, the beach, a mountain trail or even your back yard is an amazing form of self care. A study by Lancet Planet Health that was published in 2019 actually states that spending time in a green space is associated with a lower mortality rate than those who do not.

4. Sleep:

Get at least 7 hours of sleep! Sleep has a huge effect on how we feel on both physical and emotional levels. If you are constantly not getting enough sleep due to work, school, and crazy deadlines..well, it can eventually catch up to you and cause major health issues. Make sure yout room is the best possible place for you to get good sleep. Meaning that there should be no distractions. This way you can guarantee good REM sleep.

5. Learn to say no to others: 

We typically find it hard to say no to others, however if you’re already stressed and overworked, saying yes to your coworkers or even loved ones can most definitely lead to lots of irritability, burnout and anxiety. It may take you a little bit, but once you practice enough you’ll be able to politely tell others no. This way you can prioritize more time for your own selfcare.

All in all, self care has a positive effect on your health as well as your overall outlook on life. However, you must have the intention and commitment to invest in your well being. By doing so we can not only take care of ourselves, but we can also start removing the ideology that those who prioritize their well being are selfish. Remember: It’s okay to take care of yourself.

New Mommy Love - Postpartum Love from Our Therapists

The birth of a new member to any family can most definitely trigger a wide range of powerful emotions. These emotions can range from excitement and joy to great anxiety and uneasiness. Most of the time, the uneasy emotions, anxiety and even depression can last up to about two weeks, but in some cases they continue for longer periods of time. When new moms are experiencing this more severe, long lasting form of depression it is usually the sign of postpartum depression. 

For any new moms that may be reading this, we do want you to know that postpartum depression does not mean you are weak or flawed in any way. It’s actually very common in new moms. Studies show that postpartum depression actually affects 1 in 9 new mothers. Getting back to feeling like yourself may take some time, but know that it is possible!

We would like to provide you with 5 things you or someone you know could follow to help on their new mommy journey to improve postpartum:

1. Rest:

   It is very important that you rest as much as you can. Although extremely hectic, try to schedule your sleep time around your baby’s sleep time. If possible, see if someone can give you a hand so that you can rest. 

2. Get out of the house:

   Make time for yourself. Whether this is simply going out to get a massage, an ice cream cone, visit some friends, or even spend time alone with your partner.

3. Join a support group:

   It’s extremely easy to find a support group with the help of technology! This may be extremely helpful if you are needing that extra support. Many other mothers are going through the same thing. Learning about their experiences may be not only insightful but helpful.

4. Don’t do everything alone:

   I know that sometimes you might want to do everything. However, you deserve a break too! Ask your partner, family or even friends for help if you really need it. Asking for help doesn’t make you any less of a mother. 

5. Don’t make any major life changes:

   Giving birth and welcoming a new child to the world is already life changing as is. More major changes can cause you heaps of unneeded stress. Sadly, there are life changes that we simply cannot avoid. When those occur, please try to reach out to family and friends to arrange support and help you ahead of time. 

It can also be helpful to have someone you trust take care of the baby while you are managing postpartum depression. If you are currently feeling this way, don’t juggle it all alone. Tell a loved one or talk with a professional. It may not seem like it now, but it will get better. 

School is in Session, Take Care of Your Mental Health

Back to school season is here and just like that another school year begins! Sports, clubs, extracurricular activities, and crowded weekends have started and we want to make sure you are prepared, not only for the busy schedules and challenging coursework but to make sure you are taking care of your mental health. 

When life gets busy, it is easy to feel overwhelmed by the hustle and bustle of it all. It is common to fall into old habits and allow life to take us over, feeling out of control. First, I want to remind you that this is normal, we cannot expect to be on top of everything at every moment of every day- we are going to get behind. That is okay. 

But, since we do not want to stay down for too long, here are some quick back-to-school tips to keep you or your kiddos in good spirits to begin and end this school year strong. 

Do the best you can to use positive language when talking about yourself and others.

Positive self-talk has been linked to better problem-solving abilities and different, more constructive thinking patterns than those who do not practice positive self-talk. These problem-solving skills help build interpersonal relationships, reduce stress and anxiety, and aid in maintaining friendships. 

Positive self-talk can be applied in different ways, all to make life easier for you. Here are some examples you may be able to adjust your negative self-talk as early as today:

1. Catch yourself.

   Taking the time to reflect on some of the things you may be telling yourself gives you the opportunity to notice, and make adjustments sooner the next time they come around. 

2. Challenge those thoughts.

   Your inner critic can be a nasty fella, are they always being truthful though? Using positive affirmations can be helpful in challenging those not-so-nice thoughts. Instead of saying “I am never going to get this right,” challenge that thought with “I am doing my best, and my best is enough today.”

3. Put it in your pocket.

   This may seem silly, but it is not uncommon for some of that negative self-talk to really take over and make you feel stuck or unable to escape them. Sometimes, you just need to take a break. After you have identified your negative thought, put them in your pocket, and decide to deal with them at another, more convenient time. Chances are that you will forget you put it there or you will not be feeling as critical later after the moment has passed. 

Incorporate routines wherever you can. 

Routines are difficult to maintain when life starts to get busy, but I am not referring to the same typical routines you may have thought of your whole life- wake up by 7am, make breakfast, shower, be in bed by 9pm kind of routine- Instead, try to just maintain hygiene by showering once a day, brushing your hair if you need to, brushing your teeth twice, and changing your clothes. Building routines around diet and exercise habits, like making sure you go outside at least once or eating at least 3 meals a day, can also be helpful in making sure you are providing your body with enough nourishment and activity to remain on task in school or in your extracurriculars. 

Lastly, don’t forget to take breaks. 

Though it may be hard to force ourselves to slow down and take a moment to ourselves, it is necessary. Breaks prevent burnout and no one wants to be burnt out. Even if you do not think you need one, it may be helpful for you to schedule one into your week, give yourself a chance to listen to your body, and adjust based on your needs. You deserve a break. You deserve to respect your own boundaries.

Our Therapists Know Infertility Is Isolating, You are Not Alone

Wanting to be a parent and not being able to is one of the most challenging emotions we can experience as a person. The longing to have a baby is made much harder during the month of May. This is a month dedicated to moms everywhere, and it just adds to the reminder of something we can not yet have.

These circumstances are all challenging. To be consistently longing for something that feels unattainable is exhausting and takes energy and anguish. On top of that, you have family members, friends, and neighbors asking questions about your lack of children or timing or your life. They all seem to be saying the wrong things and you’re not sure why they just don’t understand. 

You are not alone. 1 in 8 women struggle with infertility.

How can these conversations get easier? Myths and stigma can be reasons why individuals still struggle with the idea of infertility.

According to the National Association of Infertility, here are some common examples:

Myth: Infertility is a women’s problem.

Truth: This is untrue. It surprises most people to learn that infertility is a female problem in 35% of the cases, a male problem in 35% of the cases, a combined problem of the couple in 20% of cases, and unexplained in 10% of cases. It is essential that both the man and the woman be evaluated during an infertility work-up.

Myth: Don’t worry so much — it just takes time. You’ll get pregnant if you’re just patient.

Truth: Infertility is a medical problem that may be treated. At least 50% of those who complete an infertility evaluation will respond to treatment with a successful pregnancy. Some infertility problems respond with higher or lower success rates. Those who do not seek help have a “spontaneous cure rate” of about 5% after a year of infertility.

Myth: Why don’t you just forget it and adopt? After all, there are so many babies out there who need homes!

Truth: For many, adoption is a happy resolution to infertility. However, most people explore medical treatment for infertility prior to considering adoption. In addition, traditional adoption options have changed, and adoption can be more costly and time-consuming than expected. It is, however, still possible to adopt the healthy baby of your dreams. There are also many older children and children with special needs available for adoption.

Myth: Maybe you two are doing something wrong!

Truth: Infertility is medical and not do to sexual dysfunction.

So, now that we have covered some common misconceptions and myths, we can tackle how to handle the situation when someone you know is struggling with this.

Some important takeaways to be more aware and empathetic of while discussing someone’s infertility can be as follows: 

Do not minimize their emotions and struggle.

Ways people often minimize the struggles that a woman dealing with infertility may face would be telling them to relax, complaining over your struggles as a parent like sleep deprivation and busy schedules, expressing that there are “worse things that could happen,” or being crude and offering up inappropriate opinions to a person who is vulnerable. Though you may make these comments trying to sympathize or provide support, they are often not received with that same intent. 

Support their decision to stop treatment. 

Fertility treatment is difficult and time consuming. No one is going to continue doing it forever. It is likely that the couple’s decision to stop was hard enough as it is, it would not be helpful for them to feel judged or pressured in the process. This often leads down the path of adoption. Do not discourage them from adopting but on this same end, do not pressure them toward adoption. Ultimately, the way they wish to pursue their future family does not have much to do with you, and does have everything to do with them- let them make choices on their own. 

And finally, remember them on Mother’s day. 

On Mother’s Day we are often bombarded with a barrage of images, videos, cards, commercials, and gifts all dedicated toward mothers. Though we should not ignore the responsibilities and pressures a mother faces, it is a painful time for those who cannot become mothers. No matter if including them means sending them a card to let them know you are thinking of them or stopping by to be a support system, they will appreciate not being forgotten. 

Source and for more information, please read more at: https://resolve.org/support/for-friends-and-family/

Healthy + Safe Mindfulness Spaces to Recharge Your Mind

As we talk about ditching ineffective work out habits and mindfulness tactics to replace them with more energizing and fulfilling routines, creating healthy spaces plays a role here.

If there is no place you feel safe, how could you possibly participate in a meaningful meditation and mindfulness practice? If you do not feel safe, how can you feel comfortable to wear what you want and avoid falling prey to those intrusive thoughts regarding the judgement of others? 

We can create a safe space for ourselves by following these 4 simple steps:  

1. Finding any space where you feel comfortable. 

This may sound easy but I really want you to think here. When you are sad or upset, where do you go? Probably your bed, maybe you go on a drive, or you might even drown your sorrows in music or video games. You may feel comfortable in these places, but it’s also obvious that you also feel sad there. It is possible you are tying this space to a negative emotion, making it difficult to feel joy or happiness here. 

You can avoid this by going out of your comfort zone and finding a new place outdoors. Another option to find a comfortable place would be to reorganize an existing place in your room or home to omit positive vibes and a calming presence. 

2. Make a space your own

My favorite way to do this is to start by thinking of a color that makes me happy. For example, I love shades and hues of blue. Try to incorporate as many or as little objects as you feel comfortable. Do not let this space be determined by the home aesthetic, but instead by what moves you to find inner calm and seek happiness.

You may also want this space to be inaccessible to others, meaning it may be nice to have a door or barrier of some kind to give you the privacy that you may need in times of discontent.

3. Scheduling time to be present in this space

We have all been in a position where we SWEAR we are going to dedicate time to our passion but oftentimes fallen short. The idea of adding space to your calendar to designate specifically for you can help hold you accountable and provide you the relief from self-guilt. You deserve time to yourself, even if you have to set an alarm to take it. 

Scheduling a time to spend in a safe space can also be a cool trick to managing anxiety symptoms. Pick a time of the day, maybe an hour or maybe 5 minutes, where you can expect to be entirely free. Make this time your designated stress time, sad time, anxious time, happy time, or whatever other emotion you feel you must plan time around. When 10am rolls around and you are presented with a reason to stress, you can remind yourself, it is not your time and you can stress about that later.  This often leads to you either forgetting the stressful event, or decreasing the intensity of the stress by allowing time to pass before tackling it. 

4. Creating a routine

You did it, you found the space, you made it safe and secluded, it is all yours, you scheduled the time and it is working: Let’s make it a habit! Going back to this space to reflect on your week can create a healthy habit of initiating your own happiness. Acknowledge this time as a priority and allow yourself to grow in your ability to find gratitude and comfort in the small moments.

Now enjoy your space to rest, relax and restore.

5 Ways to Spring Clean your Mental + Physical Health

See ya, Florida winter!

it is basically summer here, so what does that mean for us? 

SPRING CLEANING for your mental health! 

Maybe this means cleaning those top shelves that are too difficult to dust, getting outside and freshening up your flower bed, or clearing out some space in your mind for more room to bloom, this time of year calls for reorganization, decluttering, refreshing and cleaning! 

This month we are going to talk about building effective workout and mindfulness habits. It is often difficult to enjoy working out your body, the same way it may be hard to sit with your emotions while working out your mind. To maintain a balance within our lives, it is necessary to promote healthy lifestyle behaviors. 

Here are 5 Ways to Improve Your Mental and Physical Health:

1. Declutter your social media account: it is okay to remove and delete influencers and friends who are dampening your online space. Being on social media can be fun, educational and healthy if you follow the right people. Remember to take breaks, and not overwhelm yourself with comparisons.

2. Reorganize your pantry: taking the time to donate and recycle foods that you do not eat, or foods that may cause you bloating, inflammation or just plain make you feel blah are a great idea. Sometimes having access to unhealthy options makes it easier for us to choose those foods. If you limit what you purchase, you can make better choices on what you eat. What we eat has a great impact on both our mental and physical health.

3. Grow new friendships: making new friends takes bravery, going out of your comfort zone, common interests and knowing your value. Try initiating a conversation with someone who has similar interests and values. You never know, this might be the start of a great, new connection.

4. Spruce up your exercise routine: you can make time to make your exercise routine fun and different. By using different muscles and exercises you grow both mentally and physically. Since the weather is nicer, you can take your routine outdoors or maybe even the beach.

5. Clean out your negative thoughts: take the time to connect with your thoughts and process how you are thinking. Sometimes we fly by our day not realizing how much negativity we carry. Take the load off and journal, meditate and change these thoughts.

Having a new perspective and the time to build new habits can help us feel more in control of our lives. By balancing your mind, body and soul you are able to grow in a balanced direction. This can make stress easier to manage, boundaries easier to set and relationships more positive.

Our Therapists Share How to Motivate Yourself

While there is a certain objectivity to the goal setting process, our goals are a reflection of who we are and what we value. The art of goal setting is important to facilitating forward movement in both the coaching and counseling environments.

So how can you ensure you set goals that allow you to cultivate a momentum and will carry you forward into living life on your own terms? The key is to set SMART goals! SMART goals are:

• Specific: Specific goals are those that get down to business. What behavior or thought are you seeking to change in order to improve your satisfaction with your life or holistic wellness?

• Measurable: Measurable goals allow you to answer the question, “what will it look like when this goal is met?” If you either can’t measure your goal progress or don’t know what to look for, how will you know when you’re ready to set your sights on a new target?

• Attainable: Attainable goals are those that stretch you just outside of your comfort zone-- but not so far out of it that your goals are no longer within reach. This makes the difference between a goal that is a confidence boost and one that is a confidence bust!

• Relevant: Relevant goals help us answer the question “why”—why does this goal matter? What purpose will it serve to accomplish this goal? When you know your ‘why’, you can accomplish any ‘what’!

• Time-bound: Time-bound goals have a timestamp on them: By when will you have this goal completed? It is important to be realistic as you are setting your timeframe; again, this be a make-it or break-it for your confidence!

I learn through examples, so here is an example of one of my goals for this year:

In order to become the best coach I can be, I will read one piece of material per month that expands my knowledge and skill set as a coach. After reading each resource, I will create a 1-page summary of major takeaways and strategies I can use to integrate the resource into my practice as a coach.

Can you identify each element of the SMART framework in my goal?

A Therapist Shares Thoughts on Ways to Love Summer

Aaah, it’s sweet summertime!  Our kids are out of school, or if we don’t have children at home, perhaps we’ve decided to take some time for ourselves this summer. Whether vacationing, stay-cationing, or simply taking some time to relax when we have a moment of peace after work, summertime can be ideal for connecting with oneself again, and refocusing on what is most important to us.  

Summertime can serve as a great time to reconnect with our values, strengthen coping mechanisms, and re-center ourselves. For school aged children, teens, and young adults, summer may serve as the ideal time to begin therapy. Oftentimes when planning for summer we think of all of the most enriching possible activities out there. We register our kids for a great summer camp, and plan educational trips to museums. We plan picnics outside at the beach, and splurge on all access passes to Adventure Island, (anything to beat the scorching Florida heat). We take time to travel, and to be outdoors. What we often overlook during the summer is helping our young ones, and ourselves, to work on our mental health.

The benefits of therapy are innumerable. Research indicates that 75% of individuals who enter therapy show some benefit (APA, 2017). The following are some benefits of attending therapy over the summer as I have identified. Keep in mind that everyone is different, and as you are reading I encourage you to open yourself up to what benefits you could see for yourself of going to therapy.

• Gain coping mechanisms In counseling we cultivate coping mechanisms that will be carried with us far beyond our time in the therapy room. Oftentimes when life throws us barriers, we develop coping mechanisms that don’t serve us. We may not even be aware of what these maladaptive mechanisms are. In therapy we learn to identify our not so helpful coping mechanisms, and to find what is healthy, and what works for us.

• Manage our stress The summer can be an ideal time to take a break from our usual routine, and to work through out stressors with our therapist. The act of going to therapy itself may also serve to reduce stress. Therapy means having regularly scheduled appointments to look forward to for y-o-u.

• Improve our concentration Whether we have a break from responsibilities this summer, or if we are still engaged in school and work, summer can be an excellent time to refocus, and to gain skills to help us concentrate throughout the year.

• Cultivate self-esteem It’s the dreaded time of year again when we get to see the beautiful (beautifully photoshopped) models showing off their tans and their ‘beach bodies’. Rather than focusing on trying to look like the celebrities we see, this summer perhaps we can turn inward to work on cultivating our self-esteem.

• Get a handle on our anxiety and depression Although we often think of wintertime as a time that individuals most often feel depressed and anxious, summertime can often bring those feelings to the forefront of our lives. The extra time off may be a relief, but it may also bring to light feelings we are coping with all year long. In therapy we can gain the skills we need to cope with feelings of anxiety and depression.

• Gaining insight of ourselves Our modern society doesn’t often provide us with opportunity (or time) to take a step back and think about ourselves as individuals. Therapy, for some, may be the first opportunity for a higher level of introspection, and may be an opportunity to feel truly heard and understood by a compassionate listener.

If you or a loved one has been on the fence about when the right time for counseling is, I hope you consider taking time for yourself this summer to find a counselor who is a good fit for you or your loved ones needs. Whether you are reading this post this summer, or if it’s any time of the year, I encourage you to find a clinician who will work alongside you while you work on yourself.

Our Therapists Mom Journey: March Momness

The final four weeks of my maternity leave were anything but a Sweet 16. My baby boy began teething, my breast pump broke, I was nervous about leaving him with his nanny and I questioned how to keep my business growing. The anticipation of my first week back was overwhelming, I knew March would be tough.

Going back to work for the first time as a mompreneur has been a tremendous experience. I did not expect to miss my job as much as I did. I am now part of an elite team of women. A team composed of hardworking moms, who are not afraid of a little spit up on their work shirt and want to be able to juggle it all. Trust me, I am still in awe that I am a mompreneur. 

It seems like just yesterday, I was devastated and questioned if I would ever even have the chance to become a mom. I struggled with infertility for years. I tried countless medicines, treatments and exercises. All lead to only more frustration and disappointment. I finally was ready to try IVF, it was our last hope. My husband and I went to our first appointment. I told the doctor about a new medicine that I had been prescribed. I explained how the medicine caused me to feel dizzy and light headed. She said to stop taking it and as a precaution she had me take a pregnancy test.

A couple of days later I had the best phone call of my life, I found out I was pregnant with my little bundle of joy! Pregnancy was amazing. I felt wonderful, my skin was glowing and I was able to exercise just about everyday. I was ecstatic to know that I would soon be a mom. 

Fast forward to the day my son was born, almost four months ago. I had my delivery play book, I was determined to wait until the last minute for any pain medication and I was going to walk around the hospital doing laps (I am sure I would have done sprints if they approved). None of that happened, nothing went as planned.

My little boy made his all star debut two weeks early. During labor I had internal bleeding and tears, to the point that my doctor did not know where the blood was coming from. I was scared, my family was terrified and I am still physically trying to recover from the pain. I am very thankful for the support of my loving husband, parents and sister who all took care of my every need for weeks; until I could finally stand and walk without the agonizing constant, sharp pain. 

Due to the severity of my internal wounds, I am still healing. It is bizarre to think that my son is rolling over, teething and babbling for days, while I am still in pain. My plan was to take three months off my role as a therapist and return to work, just like most postpartum moms. That was an unrealistic expectation. 

I am back at work this month, as a mompreneur and I want to share how lucky I am. I earn a living doing what I love. I find my job (despite having very stressful moments) is therapeutic to me. Being a therapist, is a lifestyle. It is an enormous part of who I am and I am thankful I get to help clients in search of hope everyday. March has been a month full of new beginnings, balance and strength.