Back to School Ready - From Our Therapists

Having great organizational skills is the key to success! This is the key to having a great school year as well. No one is born being organized, we can all brush up on our skills. The first thing you have to remember is to be patient with yourself while you learn a new routine. Learning takes practice and the more you practice, the easier it will become.

Here are a few tips to get your children (or yourself) ready for the new school year:

1. Use checklists - Using checklists to post assignments, chores or even reminders of what materials your children might need for class is a good habit to have. Purchase a small planner or notebook for your child and dedicate it specifically to listing homework assignments. Once they are done with homework assignments, projects or any other tasks have them cross them off. This list will give them a sense of accomplishment!

2. Break down tasks - By making tasks smaller, we make them more manageable. This makes it easier to feel accomplished, thus boosting our confidence. Use this boost to help you complete the entire project. Baby steps need to be celebrated to increase your motivation to complete your school work.

3. Organize homework assignments - Encourage your child to do their homework assignments in the order that they should be completed. A good way to structure this is by starting with the shortest or “easiest” assignment first and then moving to the longest assignment. Any bigger assignments or projects that aren’t due right away can be worked on in smaller chunks than typical homework assignments.

4. Designate a study space - Having a designated workspace and/or study space allows for consistency. Your child should ultimately have a designated work space for studying and doing homework that is quiet and away from most distractions. Ultimately, having their school supplies and materials nearby would also be best. It would also help for them to have designated study times that aren’t too long.

5. Take breaks - Having time to eat, relax and play are also important in helping us finish assignments. Taking a mental time out from learning and doing things helps us recharge. This is helpful in helping us complete an assignment, think of it as a reward for the work you have been completing.

Going back to school is never easy. Sure you may have some excitement but it is usually combined with worry. By being more organized and prepared you can make some of that worry go away. Have a great first day and month of school!

How to Love Your Body - From Our Therapists

Poor body image can affect so many of us in so many different ways, including in many of our relationships, careers, and our overall quality of life. A lot of the time we tend to hyperfocus on specific parts of our bodies such as our stomachs, noses, thighs, and more. At the end of the day, we are the only ones that truly notice the “imperfections” that we think we have. If we were to ask anyone else they’d tell us we look great, amazing and lovely. Yet, we choose to not believe them.

Many people, even young children can express concern about body weight. Thankfully many children do outgrow these worries as time goes on. It usually happens most with children as young as 8 who are most likely reacting to peer pressure which in turn causes self-consciousness rather than a true disorder. A more distorted sense of self can definitely be more real for pre-teens all the way through adulthood, with more women suffering than men.

Most of the time these feelings are caused by children seeing their parent’s relationships with their own bodies. The way parent’s see themselves can definitely influence and molds a child’s ideas about their own bodies. Women are also more likely to suffer with distortions of body image due to the constant photoshopping that we see on social media and current beauty standards.

Thankfully, we are slowly branching away from the photoshopped images and people are beginning to appreciate themselves more for who they are which is allowing for many of us to truly feel more comfortable in our own skin.

Take these steps to start loving your body more:

1. Curb social media, and platforms where people are constantly pushing unrealistic beauty standards. We can even stay on social media but maybe unfollow all of those people who make you feel bad about yourself, and start following those that empower you instead. Take in media that shows you what real people and real bodies look like.

2. Do the things that make you feel good about yourself. Eat things that make you feel good and get your body moving to give you energy and flow.

3. Remind yourself every morning that you are beautiful, unique and deserving of love and good energy. Create an affirmation that you are happy to wake up to every morning. No one deserves to wake up daily and feel horrible about living in their own body.

4. Get out in the sun and absorb some rays. This will help you feel better, Vitamin D has been proven to boost positive moods.

5. Be realistic and grateful for your able body. Having gratitude for what your body can do is a great step towards loving yourself.

If you feel like you are currently dealing with poor body image, you can reach out to us and schedule an initial session with our counselors to set up a plan to help you overcome the emotions you may be feeling towards yourself. Growth isn’t linear, but we are always here to help.

Revamp Your Self-Care Routine - From Our Therapists

From the moment we are sent off to school, we are forced to adhere to a certain standard of society that is not only mentally but physically taxing for us. We are forced into a routine or even this ideology that to succeed we need to work hard and long tedious hours. To a certain extent, this is indeed correct. To achieve our goals we do have to put in the work, dedication and time.

However, it is not okay to work so hard to the point of burnout or simply to the point that we forget to eat, shower, and give time to ourselves. So how do you go ahead and make sure you’re still taking care of yourself?

The answer is simple, we need to schedule self care.

You may think that scheduling time to care for yourself is hard, but even the smallest things can be a form of self care!

Here are 5 ways that you can start incorporating self care into your daily routine to help you unwind and feel happier.

1. Get moving:

Whether it’s taking your dog for a walk, taking a bike ride or even heading to the gym. These are all great things that you can do to get yourself active and moving. Daily exercise can help you both physically and mentally by boosting your moon and reducing the amount of stress and anxiety you may feel throughout the day. 

2. Go get dinner or coffee with a friend:

Getting dinner or coffee with a friend may not seem like a form of self care. However, it’s actually a form of emotional self-care. Although it isn’t a form of self care that lasts very long after you part ways, it definitely does allow you to benefit from a social connection.

3. Spend time in nature:

Spending time out in nature whether it be a park, the beach, a mountain trail or even your back yard is an amazing form of self care. A study by Lancet Planet Health that was published in 2019 actually states that spending time in a green space is associated with a lower mortality rate than those who do not.

4. Sleep:

Get at least 7 hours of sleep! Sleep has a huge effect on how we feel on both physical and emotional levels. If you are constantly not getting enough sleep due to work, school, and crazy deadlines..well, it can eventually catch up to you and cause major health issues. Make sure yout room is the best possible place for you to get good sleep. Meaning that there should be no distractions. This way you can guarantee good REM sleep.

5. Learn to say no to others: 

We typically find it hard to say no to others, however if you’re already stressed and overworked, saying yes to your coworkers or even loved ones can most definitely lead to lots of irritability, burnout and anxiety. It may take you a little bit, but once you practice enough you’ll be able to politely tell others no. This way you can prioritize more time for your own selfcare.

All in all, self care has a positive effect on your health as well as your overall outlook on life. However, you must have the intention and commitment to invest in your well being. By doing so we can not only take care of ourselves, but we can also start removing the ideology that those who prioritize their well being are selfish. Remember: It’s okay to take care of yourself.

4 Steps to Becoming a More Confident Person - From Our Therapists

Have you ever wished you could be a bit more confident? Do you constantly catch yourself comparing yourself to others and wishing that you could be just like them? Well, I want you to know that you are not alone! Many, if not all of us wish we were more confident. It’s something that we all seek and wish to improve on.

Here are a few things that you can do to help improve your self-confidence:

1. Think positive:

Thinking positively is very hard for us a lot of the time. Especially those of us who are juggling many different obligations. However, thinking positively is one of the ultimate keys to building self-confidence. You can go ahead and do this by focusing on one thing that you are happy or grateful for during the day. This can help you focus on the good instead of the negative. Learning to focus on the positives instead of the negatives will allow you to improve the confidence you have within yourself going forward.

2. Positive affirmations:

This might sound a little silly, but hear me out! When you wake up every morning, as a part of your morning routine go ahead and tell yourself something nice. How can you do this? Well, it’s super easy. All you need is to look in the mirror and say “ I am confident, I am beautiful, I am enough.” It does not necessarily need to be these exact statements, but something along these lines. What you’re doing here is giving yourself positive affirmations and eventually you will start believing these statements without having to say them to yourself daily.

3. Acquire a new skill:

Learning new skills always helps boost self-confidence! Why? Well, when you are enjoying yourself and you realize that you are good at a new exciting skill it ends up making you happy. Getting a grasp on a new skill, showing it to others, and having fun with it is a very easy way to help boost your self-confidence. Maybe book a class on something you’ve always wanted to try this weekend!

4. Change your posture:

Simply walking with your head up, making eye contact, and standing up straight can help you not only look, but also feel more confident. Here’s an example of this: If you are meeting a new person, instead of looking down at the floor, go ahead and make eye contact. This goes ahead and shows them that you are confident even if you don’t quite feel that way yet. Eventually by pretending you will begin to feel more and more confident.

All in all, being more confident all starts with YOU! Your mind will always believe what you tell it. If you continue to tell yourself that you aren’t confident, then you WILL believe it and your self-doubt will continue. However, if you tell yourself that you can do this, that you are confident and great, then your mind will believe that too!

You got this.

12 Holiday Affirmations for Your Mental Health

During this busy time of year, it’s easy to get swept up in holiday plans and focus more on the world around you than yourself. But as always, it is important to make the time to stay present and prioritize self-love. To nurture feelings of gratitude, peace, and cheerfulness during the holidays, practice giving yourself positive affirmations.

Examples of holiday self-love affirmations include:

1. I choose to love and accept myself exactly as I am

2. I deserve happiness and respect

3. I will treat myself with kindness

4. I am strong

5. I am worthy of receiving love from others

6. I am not selfish for setting boundaries

7. I am allowed to eat holiday treats without feeling guilty

8. I am brave

9. I will make the best of the situations I am in

10. I am proud of the person I am today

11. I will look towards the future, rather than dwell on the past

12. I am enough

You can say these affirmations out loud, in your mind, or write them down. You may not believe these affirmations in the moment, but that will change with time and repetition.

School is in Session, Take Care of Your Mental Health

Back to school season is here and just like that another school year begins! Sports, clubs, extracurricular activities, and crowded weekends have started and we want to make sure you are prepared, not only for the busy schedules and challenging coursework but to make sure you are taking care of your mental health. 

When life gets busy, it is easy to feel overwhelmed by the hustle and bustle of it all. It is common to fall into old habits and allow life to take us over, feeling out of control. First, I want to remind you that this is normal, we cannot expect to be on top of everything at every moment of every day- we are going to get behind. That is okay. 

But, since we do not want to stay down for too long, here are some quick back-to-school tips to keep you or your kiddos in good spirits to begin and end this school year strong. 

Do the best you can to use positive language when talking about yourself and others.

Positive self-talk has been linked to better problem-solving abilities and different, more constructive thinking patterns than those who do not practice positive self-talk. These problem-solving skills help build interpersonal relationships, reduce stress and anxiety, and aid in maintaining friendships. 

Positive self-talk can be applied in different ways, all to make life easier for you. Here are some examples you may be able to adjust your negative self-talk as early as today:

1. Catch yourself.

   Taking the time to reflect on some of the things you may be telling yourself gives you the opportunity to notice, and make adjustments sooner the next time they come around. 

2. Challenge those thoughts.

   Your inner critic can be a nasty fella, are they always being truthful though? Using positive affirmations can be helpful in challenging those not-so-nice thoughts. Instead of saying “I am never going to get this right,” challenge that thought with “I am doing my best, and my best is enough today.”

3. Put it in your pocket.

   This may seem silly, but it is not uncommon for some of that negative self-talk to really take over and make you feel stuck or unable to escape them. Sometimes, you just need to take a break. After you have identified your negative thought, put them in your pocket, and decide to deal with them at another, more convenient time. Chances are that you will forget you put it there or you will not be feeling as critical later after the moment has passed. 

Incorporate routines wherever you can. 

Routines are difficult to maintain when life starts to get busy, but I am not referring to the same typical routines you may have thought of your whole life- wake up by 7am, make breakfast, shower, be in bed by 9pm kind of routine- Instead, try to just maintain hygiene by showering once a day, brushing your hair if you need to, brushing your teeth twice, and changing your clothes. Building routines around diet and exercise habits, like making sure you go outside at least once or eating at least 3 meals a day, can also be helpful in making sure you are providing your body with enough nourishment and activity to remain on task in school or in your extracurriculars. 

Lastly, don’t forget to take breaks. 

Though it may be hard to force ourselves to slow down and take a moment to ourselves, it is necessary. Breaks prevent burnout and no one wants to be burnt out. Even if you do not think you need one, it may be helpful for you to schedule one into your week, give yourself a chance to listen to your body, and adjust based on your needs. You deserve a break. You deserve to respect your own boundaries.

Beach Body Ready - A Mental Health Perspective

We see it every day: Women with curves are on the front cover of Sports Illustrated and members of the LGBTQ community preaching free love and good vibes over social media. We are finally living in a world open to acceptance, where we can be free to be who we are and love who we love. But, does this mean we love who we are? Does this mean that since society says it is okay to be thin or curvy that we think it’s okay? No, not really.

Just because we know we are loved and accepted does not mean we take the extra step to love and accept ourselves. It is not always easy to see someone preaching “big and beautiful” and feel like your curves are actually accepted.

But why is that?

What keeps those feelings of self-doubt floating around our minds when we are told we are perfect just the way we are?

It is because we do not allow ourselves to incorporate three basic traits into our daily lives: Love, forgiveness and humor.

We are taught self-love is the most important trait and that you must learn to love yourself before you love others. Although it is healthy and important to love yourself, sometimes, in the process of finding love for ourselves, we do not allow love of any kind in. We disregard the love from our family and we ignore the love given to us by our friends. It is acceptable to learn to love yourself and learn what it feels like to be loved by others as well. So, if we feel love, we can learn to accept love. If we learn to accept love, we can learn to give love.

Forgiveness is tough. We can forgive others and look past the mistakes they make but when it becomes personal, it gets a little tricky. The grudge we create for ourselves, subconsciously, make that body positivity we are striving for just a little farther out of reach. Maybe we start a diet and cheat a little two days into it. Maybe we begin a workout routine and it only lasts for a week. Things like this can definitely cause some frustration but that should be the extent of it; temporary frustration. Acknowledge that a mistake has happened forgive yourself because the point of life is not to diet and go to the gym. Continue going to the gym because you enjoy it. Change your eating habits for your health, your well-being, your happiness. To forgive is to move forward. Holding a grudge with yourself will only result in the lack of results. Keep pushing forward, we are only human.

Lastly, we forget to introduce humor. Laugh at the stigma that we still remain to see within the media, regardless of the self-love action going on. There are still girls that we see with the “perfect” bodies and men we see who are “perfectly” buff with symmetrical abs and 15 inch biceps. Those bodies are what Americans have portrayed to be ideal. This is a stigma that we, as a society, is slowly breaking down but we are not quite there yet. Instead of focusing on how you wish you could be them, chuckle at the absurd idea that every human should look that way.

In a study don’t by Psychology Today it was shown that women have a higher sense of self- worth after looking at an Instagram account created to challenge the societal norms. Celest Barber is a famous instagramer who creates “images of celebrities and models and recreates them herself in a humorous way. Both the original image and her parody image are posted side by side, accompanied by a witty comment. Together, her posts poke fun at our society’s absurd and unrealistic appearance ideals.” In this study they had a separate control group of women who only looked only at the model pictures.

The study proceed as follows:

Before and after viewing the images, all women completed questionnaires to assess their mood and how they feel about their body. The researchers found that the women who viewed Celeste Barber’s parody images experienced an increase in body satisfaction compared to the women in the control group. Further, the women in the control group, who only viewed the images of the celebrities and models, experienced a decrease in happiness. With this being said, it is easy to see how humor can be used to change the perspective we have on our bodies. It is relieving to see people who look like we do, normal, on a large platform similar to models and celebrities.

Saying something and actually doing something about the way we feel about ourselves are very different. It is important to surround yourself with positive people and good vibes. It’s summertime here and Florida and EVERYONE has a “Beach Body.” So enjoy the sun and the waves and love yourself just the way you are!

Self-Growth is a Steady Mental Health Journey

This week I decided I needed to take my own advice.

As I have been writing about self-care, self-growth and the preservation of the love we have for our own selves, I came to the realization that these things are much easier said than done. I looked in the mirror and saw someone I love, but she’s not quite present on the surface. The part of me that loves myself to the fullest potential was hiding somewhere deep within.

So, the question stands:

How do I find the version of me that is capable of loving myself, and others, to my fullest potential?

Well, first I had to figure out what was shadowing me and what it was that was dimming my light. This was not easy. This came with tears and telling myself some things that I had been pushing behind me for a long while now. I thought about why I felt like I am not good enough, why I felt like I need someone else to love me, for me to love myself, and why I allow the opinion of others to affect my mood and cloud the lens that I see the world through. Ironically, the answers were simple.

Some very hard questions that revolve around a simple explanation:

I was afraid.

I was afraid that the negative people that surround me are, in fact, right. I was afraid that the ME I see every day in the mirror is not the version of me others perceive. I was afraid that I will never get my happy ending.

This, though, is negative self-talk; something we may acknowledge but ultimately want to stay away from. There is no good reason to consistently try to believe the negative accusations that you direct at yourself.

So, I joined a yoga class. In my practice I focused fully on my breath and my intension. I brought those negative feelings in with me and I let them melt away through my pores as I went through the flow of Vinyasa.

By the end of my practice that day, the stress and anxiety that filled my head and my heart had calmed down and I finally felt grounded for the time being.

After this I suggested connecting with loved ones. So, that is what I did. I met my sister for dinner and we talked about irrelevant topics like school and how we want to redecorate our rooms. A day that started so wound up and uncomfortable turned slowly into a calm, comfortable conversation.

The last step is to set a goal. I am often very busy and find myself feeling overwhelmed by all of my responsibilities so I had to truly think about what I needed. I needed to feel comfortable in my own skin. I needed to be calm and collected while I navigate my day. I needed to show myself that I am capable of giving my body and mind more love than it has been receiving.

With that being said, I set two goals:

My first goal is to attend at least four yoga classes a week. These classes will help me become more in-tune with my physical self, helping me feel grounded in the process.

My second goal is to make time for breakfast every day. I do not always have time for more then a coffee and a quick bite on the go. Changing this routine will not only help adjust my health and eating habits it will become a healthier alternative for my mental stability and sleep cycle by creating a routine and forcing myself to make time for one specific thing each day.

I have been active in following through with these goals for two weeks now. After a week of this routine I felt better. My mind had found a safe space and I began to understand how much I had truly been neglecting myself.

After two weeks, I am thrilled. I have started to see changes in my physical self and I am finally focused on creating a better me for ME, not for others. My path may not be the right path for you, everyone is different, but I encourage you to find one.

As the wise Buddha once said, “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

4 Steps For Self-Growth - A Mental Health Perspective

How often do you find yourself looking in the mirror wondering where the 18-year-old version of you disappeared to? You look at yourself, thinking that the size of your jeans actually plays a part in your ability to make friends or fall in love. You may catch a glimpse of yourself while walking out the door and think that if you could look a certain way, maybe people would treat you differently. Negative thoughts of yourself swirl through your mind just to pollute the your self image.

Well, I’m here to tell you that those thoughts are not working for you. You will always be the only version of YOU and no one can take that away. As humans, we sometimes believe that growth is something that just comes with time. We think that things will eventually just change for the better and we will naturally just grow into the person we want to be. It is important to think deeper into that theory and imagine what our lives would be if we choose to do nothing and just assume growth will happen.

You can think of it almost like the life of a plant. Now, I have no green thumb but I do know that if you forget to water your plant and keep it out of the sunlight, it will soon wither away to a very little, frail version of its previous self. This is similar to what happens to us as humans. If we forget to love ourselves, to forgive ourselves for our mistakes, to love the body we have, we will become weak and frail. The best way to avoid this is to simply tell ourselves we are enough.

Now, I say simply, but I know this is no simple task at all. This will require work and dedication. It takes discipline. If every time we looked in the mirror we told ourselves we loved the body we live in, rather than hate it, eventually we will. Like a plant, we all need a little love, compassion, and sunlight to help us grow. Being mean to others never got you ahead in life. What makes you think being mean to yourself will?

Here are some steps to help you focus on your good qualities and the love you deserve to show yourself. Self-growth is a process, be gentle with yourself.

Step One: Locate the problem. What is affecting your self-esteem? Is it a relationship or an outside source? Where is it coming from?

Step Two: Avoid negative self-talk. Like we talked about before, speaking negatively toward yourself will only harm you.

Step Three: Connect with those who love you. This may be a relative or friend, anyone who sees the good in you that maybe you are having a hard time finding. Being around positive supports can help us remember why we love ourselves. .

Step Four: Set a goal and make it your challenge. Focus on the good around you and create routines to achieve it. Having good hygiene and a clean room will help clear your mind as well. Open the blinds to allow light and take a walk outdoors.

All of these things will be pieces of the puzzle that will eventually fit together to complete your challenge, finally showing you the full picture. Don’t forget, we are all human and no one is perfect. Rather, perfectly imperfect in our own ways.

Therapist’s Share 3 Ways to Treat Yourself this Valentine's Day

With Valentine’s Day quickly approaching, the longing for a significant other becomes overwhelmingly apparent for those of us lacking our “perfect person.” For those of us in a relationship, the pressure of Valentine’s Day can be growing and we may be running to find the “perfect gift.” It is impossible to walk through a retail store without feeling overwhelmed by oversized teddy bears and heart shaped chocolates. It is natural for us to want another half, someone to hold or hug, someone who brings out the best in us.

We all know a perfect first date doesn’t exist, even if we are in a relationship.

How can we make Valentine’s Day About Self-Love?

Movies portray an unrealistic vision of how love really looks like and ultimately forces us to create unhealthy and unnecessary expectations for a potential partner and Valentine’s Day celebration.

So, instead of blindly searching for your person this February, or the perfect gift, I challenge you to find your self-love.

Here are three tips to spend your day in a healthy way:

1. Galentine’s day (or we can call it Palentine’s day for the fellas out there): Have a Valentine’s Day exchange with some of your friends, Secret-Santa style. This time, focus your gifts on self-love: everyone loves a good face mask, scented candles, great book, a gift card to your favorite spa or restaurant.

2. Snag a friend for the day and take advantage of Valentine’s Day deals: A half-off couple massage and discounted dinner for two are definitely some deals to take advantage of. You do not have to be in a relationship to enjoy great discounts.

3. Pamper yourself: Maybe you don’t want to go out, that is totally fine. While others stress about the pressure of planning the most romantic day of the year, you can sit and relax in your bathtub, watching standup comedy or horror movies, while eating your favorite chocolate. Soak in those positive endorphins and focus on you.

Love is everywhere we look, including inside ourselves. Searching in the wrong places will just leave you finding something you were not looking for. By finding and loving ourselves, we attract others who have the same energy. Your Valentine’s Day is what you want to make of it, be positive about your relationship status and focus on the relationship you have with yourself.