6 Ways to Overcome Anxiety

Anxiety can feel overwhelming and like there is no relief available. But, there are ways to address and tackle the stress of anxiety.

Here are six ways to help overcome anxiety:

1. Move your body - Exercise, such as walking and yoga, can aid in regulating levels of stress and help you relax. Meditation and calming breathing techniques can also promote relaxation and help to focus your mind.

2. Eat well - Another important part of taking care of your body is making sure you eat a well-balanced and nutritious diet. Incorporating fruits and vegetables into your meals can help you maintain healthy sugar levels which can improve cognitive function.

3. Talk about your feelings - Whether speaking with a trusted friend or family member, speaking with a counselor or utilizing peer counseling groups, talking about your feelings and your particular situation can help you vent and get a different perspective on your situation.

4. Utilize apps - There are many online and mobile apps available that promote well-being and aid in cultivating mindfulness practices. Find a resource that works for you so you can build a routine prioritizing calming practices.

5. Journal - Taking time to reflect on your feelings can help you see patterns in your life. By writing down your thoughts, you can see what triggers your anxiety and can work through solutions.

6. Be gentle with yourself - Try to remember that you are doing your best and allow yourself grace as you navigate through your feelings.

Though anxiety can feel neverending, there are ways to take charge of your feelings and bring a sense of calm back to your life.

4 Ways to Reduce Your Back to School Stress - From Our Therapists

School coming to a start can add pressure for everyone. It is important to take the time to focus on ways to make the transition as smooth as possible. Having a plan on how to tackle the new school year is important.

Here are 4 ways you can make sure this school year is smooth.

1. Create a routine - Did you know that predictability sends soothing messages to the brains of those that struggle with stress? Setting up a routine such as a regular bedtime, a daily gym session, or even a music playlist or audiobook that you listen to on the drive to/from school can help you solidify a routine. Something that will allow your brain to not be so stressed throughout the day.

2. Communication is key - When it comes to children, if you as a parent have changes in plans you should communicate that to your child as soon as possible. A child can become very stressed and anxious if they are unsure of how they’re getting home or where they are going. If they are caught up in the mix of complicated changes, it ends up being very difficult to focus on their learning.

3. Connect through questions - Go ahead and try connecting with your child through questions such as how their day went, who they sat next to at lunch, if anything funny or exciting happened throughout the day. You can even chime in with your own experiences when you were going to school and what caused you a lot of stress and anxiety. With that, you can end up asking them if there is anything that may be causing them a bit of anxiety with school.

4. Listen - Our natural tendency when we hear that someone is stressed is to try and fix it. However, when we go ahead and try to do that, we end up invalidating the other person's feelings and in turn not really helping them at all. Instead of trying to fix whatever it is that has them stressed. Try asking questions such as “How can I support you right now” or “Would you like to talk about what’s currently bothering you?” Once you listen to them, if you have a thought that you feel may be helpful, go ahead and ask them if it’s okay for you to share it.

As we all transition back to school, remember to take care of yourself too. The best support a child can have is an adult who is taking care of their own well being and mental health too!

Back to School Ready - From Our Therapists

Having great organizational skills is the key to success! This is the key to having a great school year as well. No one is born being organized, we can all brush up on our skills. The first thing you have to remember is to be patient with yourself while you learn a new routine. Learning takes practice and the more you practice, the easier it will become.

Here are a few tips to get your children (or yourself) ready for the new school year:

1. Use checklists - Using checklists to post assignments, chores or even reminders of what materials your children might need for class is a good habit to have. Purchase a small planner or notebook for your child and dedicate it specifically to listing homework assignments. Once they are done with homework assignments, projects or any other tasks have them cross them off. This list will give them a sense of accomplishment!

2. Break down tasks - By making tasks smaller, we make them more manageable. This makes it easier to feel accomplished, thus boosting our confidence. Use this boost to help you complete the entire project. Baby steps need to be celebrated to increase your motivation to complete your school work.

3. Organize homework assignments - Encourage your child to do their homework assignments in the order that they should be completed. A good way to structure this is by starting with the shortest or “easiest” assignment first and then moving to the longest assignment. Any bigger assignments or projects that aren’t due right away can be worked on in smaller chunks than typical homework assignments.

4. Designate a study space - Having a designated workspace and/or study space allows for consistency. Your child should ultimately have a designated work space for studying and doing homework that is quiet and away from most distractions. Ultimately, having their school supplies and materials nearby would also be best. It would also help for them to have designated study times that aren’t too long.

5. Take breaks - Having time to eat, relax and play are also important in helping us finish assignments. Taking a mental time out from learning and doing things helps us recharge. This is helpful in helping us complete an assignment, think of it as a reward for the work you have been completing.

Going back to school is never easy. Sure you may have some excitement but it is usually combined with worry. By being more organized and prepared you can make some of that worry go away. Have a great first day and month of school!

How to Love Your Body - From Our Therapists

Poor body image can affect so many of us in so many different ways, including in many of our relationships, careers, and our overall quality of life. A lot of the time we tend to hyperfocus on specific parts of our bodies such as our stomachs, noses, thighs, and more. At the end of the day, we are the only ones that truly notice the “imperfections” that we think we have. If we were to ask anyone else they’d tell us we look great, amazing and lovely. Yet, we choose to not believe them.

Many people, even young children can express concern about body weight. Thankfully many children do outgrow these worries as time goes on. It usually happens most with children as young as 8 who are most likely reacting to peer pressure which in turn causes self-consciousness rather than a true disorder. A more distorted sense of self can definitely be more real for pre-teens all the way through adulthood, with more women suffering than men.

Most of the time these feelings are caused by children seeing their parent’s relationships with their own bodies. The way parent’s see themselves can definitely influence and molds a child’s ideas about their own bodies. Women are also more likely to suffer with distortions of body image due to the constant photoshopping that we see on social media and current beauty standards.

Thankfully, we are slowly branching away from the photoshopped images and people are beginning to appreciate themselves more for who they are which is allowing for many of us to truly feel more comfortable in our own skin.

Take these steps to start loving your body more:

1. Curb social media, and platforms where people are constantly pushing unrealistic beauty standards. We can even stay on social media but maybe unfollow all of those people who make you feel bad about yourself, and start following those that empower you instead. Take in media that shows you what real people and real bodies look like.

2. Do the things that make you feel good about yourself. Eat things that make you feel good and get your body moving to give you energy and flow.

3. Remind yourself every morning that you are beautiful, unique and deserving of love and good energy. Create an affirmation that you are happy to wake up to every morning. No one deserves to wake up daily and feel horrible about living in their own body.

4. Get out in the sun and absorb some rays. This will help you feel better, Vitamin D has been proven to boost positive moods.

5. Be realistic and grateful for your able body. Having gratitude for what your body can do is a great step towards loving yourself.

If you feel like you are currently dealing with poor body image, you can reach out to us and schedule an initial session with our counselors to set up a plan to help you overcome the emotions you may be feeling towards yourself. Growth isn’t linear, but we are always here to help.

Your Healing Journey is Not Linear - A Therapy Perspective

Whether you have experienced mental or physical pain, healing takes time. When we scrape our knee the mark doesn’t go away over night. It has to heal and there is a process involved. When we are hurt emotionally how do we heal from that pain?

It is also a process. There are things we can do to help the process move along but it is important to know that everyone is moving at different paces.

Here are some ways to help you grow at your own pace:

1. Recognize that no one is perfect:

   The idea that perfection exists can stop us from making progress. We forget that we can be novice, make mistakes and learn.

2. Getting better, can make us feel all over the place:

   Self growth takes us wanting to sometimes feel a little worse, just before making the most progress and actually getting better. That is okay, lean into the discomfort and explore this area. You may find some answers you did not even know you had.

3. There is no right way to heal:

   Some may fall backwards and some may accelerate; healing is not the same for everyone. When we grieve for example; some people heal rather quickly and are able to get on with things for the moment but after a few months those people may start to feel more pain than they did initially. Some people may grieve for years. There are no step-by-step- lists for healing as people heal in different ways.

4. Be kind to yourself and having compassion for your own journey:

   Do what makes you feel comfortable and happy. If you are healing slowly, be comfortable with that and work from where you are. No one is feeling your personal pain but you and therefore no one has experience in how long it “should” take.

Talking with a professional can help you through a painful time or talk through past painful experiences. Everyone has a different journey and that is a beautiful thing. Healing takes time.

Our Therapists Agree, It is Okay to Have "All the feels"

There are many emotions that we experience from day to day; anger, joy, excitement, happiness, guilt, sadness, fear, jealousy and the list goes on. Sometimes our emotions can make us feel overwhelmed and can be hard to understand. Knowing that emotions are normal and healthy can help you in see them in a healthy way.

It is easy to see why it’s important to feel happiness and joy, but why is it healthy to have uncomfortable emotions? What can anger, sadness, or fear do for us? Can our emotions benefit others as well as ourselves?

1. Anger and Sadness-

A lot of times we become angry, but anger comes from being passionate about something. We may honk at a driver that pulled out in front of us but you do so because you are passionate about your safety or the safety of those in your car. There are healthy ways we can cope with and control our anger. We can always talk with a professional or a loved one about things that make us angry. We can also take a step back and think about why this particular thing is making you feel anger. Sadness on the other hand can be harder to control as the things that make us sad at times may or may not be helped. We may not be able to retake a test, or find something that we lost. This propels us to avoid feeling sad in the future for the same reasons. Being sad means you care, just like being angry does.

2. Joy and Happiness-

Conversely, happiness and joy are positive emotions. When we hug someone we love or do well at work we can feel joy and happiness. When we are happy we are more likely to do things like exercise and be with friends and loved ones. We can often share this emotion and others sometimes will join you in feeling happy too.

3. Fear and Worry-

Experiencing fear and anxiety can help us avoid dangerous situations and are healthy and at times positive. You may experience fear before you ride a new roller coaster or you may be worried about a job interview. We can do things to alleviate these worries; prepare for situations in advance and anticipate being nervous. Talking with a professional about your fears can also be helpful in working through them.

All emotions are okay to feel.

Without emotions we would just be a bunch of robots. Understanding that every emotion we have plays an important part of who we are and what we need, is the key to becoming more self aware.

The Importance of Gratitude - From Our Therapists

Gratitude is defined as “the quality of being thankful.”

Gratitude is given special attention during this time of year, but it is important to engage in giving thanks year-round. Gratitude helps you appreciate the meaningful people and valuable things in life. Acknowledging these good things, rather than what you may lack, will cultivate a sense of satisfaction in life.

There are many ways in which gratitude positively impact your life – as well as the lives of those around you – including:

1. Improvements in your health.

Physical and mental health are closely intertwined. The emotional benefits you’ll receive from actively practicing gratitude will carry over into improving your physical wellbeing.

2. Strengthening your relationships.

When you recognize, appreciate, and reciprocate the kindness you receive from others, your relationships will blossom!

3. Reductions in anxiety.

Practicing gratitude keeps your focus in the present moment, which prevents you from stressing about the future.

Overall, gratitude is associated with experiencing more positive emotions. To increase your happiness, give thanks consistently, not just during the holiday season!

It is Cool to Be kind - From a Mental Health Perspective

November is upon us, and it’s finally starting to feel like fall. In many ways, this is a good thing; the air is cooling down, pumpkin spice is everywhere, and Thanksgiving is only weeks away. However, this also means the days are starting to get shorter, which can negatively impact mental health.

During this season it is especially important to be kind to yourself and others, as both those who give and receive acts of kindness experience improvements in mental health. There are so many ways we can be kind to one another, it’s impossible to list them all.

So, to keep it simple, here are 4 ways to be kind:

1. Express appreciation!

Saying “thank you” can go a long way. Acknowledging and valuing peoples’ effort always makes them feel good.

2. Offer help!

Whether it be giving advice to a friend or assisting a coworker with a difficult task, extending support to others will ease their burden. Being kind through both your actions and words really shows how much you care.

3. Practice small acts of kindness!

These include: holding the door for the person behind you, genuinely asking service workers “how are you?”, letting the person with fewer items cut in front of you at the grocery store, and so many more! While these might not seem like a big deal, they can make someone’s day.

4. Be compassionate!

We’re all human, which means nobody is perfect. Make the effort to treat yourself and others with patience, understanding, and empathy.

Kindness can go a long way. We do not realize how much treating people with empathy, compassion and love can really just let someone feel valued. Remember that you are amazing and we are thankful for you!

4 Ways to Have a Happy and Inclusive Halloween

Halloween is around the corner, and for many people, that means fun. However, Halloween can also be triggering for those living with a mental illness. During this time of year, it is especially important to be mindful of your needs and the needs of others.

Here are 4 ways to make sure your Halloween is fun, happy and safe for everyone in your community.

1. Recognize boundaries can vary from person to person –

Everyone has different comfort levels when it comes to costumes, scary movies, candy consumption, and haunted houses. Surround yourself with individuals who recognize and help you maintain your boundaries (be sure to return the favor). Attempting to “push someone out of their comfort zone” or questioning their reasoning behind decisions can create an un-safe environment and/or deteriorate their progress.

2. Be careful when commenting on other peoples’ bodies and/or eating habits –

Even if you mean well, pointing out how much/how little candy someone eats or how their costume fits their body can be triggering to those struggling with their body image and/or an eating disorder. Instead try focusing on all other aspects of Halloween. This is meant to be a fun time, creating healthy memories.

3. Understand and empathize everyone has different sensory capacities -

Halloween can be especially difficult for those on the autism spectrum. Decorations with loud sounds and flashing lights, as well as tight or uncomfortable costumes can overwhelm individuals with sensory disorders. Be aware that others may not be quite as enthusiastic about touch, being scared and some may not respond to social cues very well.

3. Be kind and supportive –

Extend support, compassion, and patience towards yourself and others. Make a point to use positive language and remain empathetic to those who seem to be struggling. Kindness goes a long way!

Enjoy your time while trick or treating, and participating in fall activities while being as inclusive as possible.

Treasure Your Friendships - Our Therapists Suggestions

Human beings want to love and be loved. We want to build connections that we treasure and make ourselves part of a group. We search for people whom we trust and appreciate. Some people may have smaller inner circles and others may have larger inner circles. Though we often think of a significant other when we hear the word love, there is another category of people who you may love even more- your best friends. 

Friendships are constantly evolving, ever changing, sometimes painful, but oftentimes rewarding. But, I am sure we all know when push comes to shove, friends get the short end of the stick in the hierarchy of life.

Between work, school, relationships, kids, family, and the ongoing list of things that need to be accomplished, where do we fit our friends?  When managing our own mental health, how do we manage our friendships too? 

The good news is, it is possible.

How do you fit in time for friends?

Sometimes all it takes is a phone call in between errands. A good rule of thumb would be simply to be honest. Tell your friends what you have planned and what is on your mind. True friends, who are around for the long haul will understand. I mean, let's be honest, they are probably busy too!

Other ways to keep a healthy balance would be to plan in advance, hang out in groups, or even ask them to join you on daily tasks. Balancing friendships and everyday chores can help you keep your routine entertaining and your friendships intact.

What makes a good friend?

Everyone has different values and non-negotiable items, these are things that we would not go back and forth on in relationships. Good friends typically have some common values like trustworthiness, being non-judgmental, being able to express empathy, and being a good listener.

What are signs of a poor friendship?

Poor friendships can hurt or harm us just as much as good friends can help and encourage us. Some common characteristics could be a friend who takes but does not have the time to give, they are not honest with you, or they do not support you. If you feel like you are constantly doing and giving, chances are you are doing too much for your friend. This might be a sign that you need to re-evaluate your friendship values.

Finding a great friend is like finding a hidden treasure, full of excitement and wonder.

We all know being a good friend is hard work and finding good friends is even harder. Being true to yourself and being honest with those you care about can help you navigate through this busy life, with some people who you truly love and appreciate!

What does domestic violence teach children?

Domestic violence is a private matter that has been brought into the public eye much in part to the NFL and the poor decisions of some football players. Many of us have heard the story about Ray Rice's wife and about their troubled marriage. Much of the talk about domestic violence is usually spent discussing what the parents are experiencing and although this is important, I ask "what about the kids?" Many people do not realize how domestic violence impacts a child's physical, mental and emotional development. 

By witnessing domestic violence a child can learn.....   

that hitting or yelling at others is an appropriate way of communicating 
hitting or yelling equals respect 
by hitting or yelling other people listen to you
physical strength is more important than anything else
to have difficulty trusting other adults and parents
to fight peers at school and break things at home
that a foundation for a relationship is fighting 
in all relationships someone must be submissive
physical strength is emotional strength
that all men or women are violent (depending on who is the abuser) 
the poor ability to cope with stress or anxiety 
the poor ability to resolve problems without fighting or arguing 
to have low self esteem related to self blame for the domestic violence
to be afraid when other people are yelling around the 
to hide their problems in the face of fear 
to not trust mom and dad since they can barely trust themselves 
to be insecure with themselves and others 
and that all adults are violent people  

Domestic violence is violence against a family unit, everyone is impacted. Children are very much affected by what they see and hear at home. A simple verbal argument among adults can start a downward spiral in their young minds. If you or someone you know is in a domestic violence relationship, I ask that you please find help, maybe not for yourself but definitely for your children. 

Parents have no fear, August is here!

As the days of the new school year are slowly approaching, the summer calm is winding down. Parents are excited for their children to leave the house and be back at school. As much as I hear parents cheering, their children are not. Now if we could all just be on the same page? 

Here are some great ways for everyone to slowly transition back to school while still being in the "summer" mindset!

1. Set an adjusted bed time: Simulating a "school night" bed time prior to the start of school, will help your family begin to feel as if back to school is almost here. This is a tool to ease your kids in transitioning to an ideal bed time!

2. Schedule a time for homework: Many kids have to read books or complete projects during summer break. Right now would be a great time to make sure these assignments are completed and will be turned in on time. Sit with your kids, ask them to schedule a couple of hours a day for school work during their last summer weeks. If no homework needs to be completed, assign them homework assignments (you can find simulated school worksheets online). 

3. Plan back to school snacks: This can help ease children back to their school routine and increase their excitement for the new school year. Talk about healthy and tasty snacks that they may enjoy eating their first week back at school. This will give them something to look forward to! 

4. Go back to school shopping: For many children this is the best part of back to school. The new sneakers, shirts, notebooks and markers. Plan a budget together and go shopping together! Encourage your child to pick out an agenda book and notebooks, that they can use to start the year in an organized fashion. 

5. Explore the school: This is a must if your child will be attending a new school! It will help calm their nerves on the first day of class. Go tour the school together and find where their class is, the nearest bathrooms, office and lunch room. 

6. Talk about making and keeping friends: Discussing with your child how to meet new friends and maintain old friends is a social skill that they can always have handy. Practice meeting new kids through role-plays, to help calm their anxiety. Some children are more excited about meeting new friends and will use this as motivation for wanting to go back to school. 

Make these last weeks a back to school practice, by reminding your child of all the positive activities that await this new school year!

10 Tips for Parenting Kids with ADHD

1. Organize yourself: Place backpacks, clothing and toys in the same place everyday 

2. Avoid becoming distracted: Do not turn on the TV, MP3 or computer while completing another task 

3. Limit your choices: Offer children a choice between no more than two items (food, clothing, toy...) 

4. Communicate tasks as simple as possible: Use clear, brief and concise directions 

5. Have a reward system: Use charts and list realistic attainable goals and track positive behavior

6. Discipline effectively: Do not use spanking or yelling, instead have limited timeouts and remove privileges as a consequence 

7. Have a routine: Follow the most similar structure daily 

8. Use positive language: Tell your child what you want them to do, not what you want them to not do 

9.  Do not blame: Blaming children will negatively impact their self esteem 

10. Be hands on: Have fun, play outside and save some time during the day for just your child (no distractions) 

Back to School Tools

Yes, it is that time of year again! Moms and dads everywhere are cheering with joy. Back to school is here! In honor of this season I have found some great apps for parents and kids to stay organized and focused this school year.

This app is compared to having a personal assistant. It organizes anything you may need and you can take your items anywhere. Examples include: recipes, photos, notes, plan a party and manage home or work tasks. Visit: https://springpad.com/about

For the teen who needs structure and organization. This app assists teens in organizing class schedules, exam dates, homework, and level of difficulty of each assignment. Great tool for teens who need some task management in their lives. Visit: http://www.heapnote.com/students.html#.Uh5fOhvNk8f

Is your child artistic, do you have no room left on your refrigerator to display your child's art work? This app was made for you! Just upload your child's art work and create an art book to display all of the works of art in an organized fashion. Visit: http://www.artkiveapp.com/

Make learning fun for kids or teens! Two great apps with the purpose of teaching. Learn with Homer is interactive, fun and great for kids learning to read. Visit: http://learnwithhomer.com/
For the teen in your life, Vocabador is an interactive wrestling vocabulary game. It boasts that it helps prepare test takers for exams such as the SAT and GRE. Visit: http://www.vocabador.com/

I hope these apps make your transition to the school season a little more enjoyable! 

Importance of Fathers

Fathers are an important part of a child's development and there is an increasing trend of men being more involved with raising their children. Research has supported how important a father's involvement is in the self esteem, emotional stability, and mental health of a child. Many children who do not have support from their fathers' have been found to have difficulty with psychological adjustment, delinquency and substance abuse. 

Today, more dads spend more time cooking, playing and educating their children. For a child, a father is a male role model and their first example of how a man should act and think. Although, traditionally a mother's role has been seen with up most importance,  the same is true for fathers. Fathers have a special part to play in a family and in a child's development.

Children Coping with Tragedies

It is important to remember not all children are alike and many children may experience a range of symptoms related to a tragedy. In order to help your child cope you must first understand what your child is feeling, help comfort them and help them feel safe.

Recently the Moore, Oklahoma tornado impacted the lives of many children and families. Parents and teachers were frantic trying to keep themselves calm while trying to instill safety and hope in their children.
After the tornado, children have felt the need to be comforted. Children will ask questions when they are prepared to and as adults it is important that we are aware of this. Do not pressure the child to talk about the event, since that may minimize the willingness of them to talk openly. When answering questions, be honest and age appropriate, as to avoid instilling any unnecessary fear in the child.

As a parent it is important to keep the line of conversation open and inviting to your child. This will provide your child with comfort and reassurance. Do not become an over emotional parent yourself; try to speak to your child with a calm and steady voice. If you openly share your experience with your child this will make you sound more inviting and help build trust in your parent-child relationship.