The Intentional Postpartum - By Baby Boldly

Over the course of pregnancy, the average expectant mother spends around 20 hours preparing for her birth. Those same mothers-to-be spend anywhere from no time at all to up to two hours preparing for her postpartum experience. Therein lies our setup for a potentially dangerous postpartum period.

Some consider the “postpartum period” to be the first 6-8 weeks post birth, while others consider it to be the first 12 months. . Either way, there’s no arguing that those first 6-8 weeks are, by far, the most critical time for momma’s recovery. While we obviously advocate for birth prep, we also believe that intentionally preparing  for what happens after birth is just as important. 

When we set our intentions we often have a completely different experience than when we don’t, and  intentionally preparing for what momma’s postpartum recovery will look like, will allow for a much smoother recovery and bonding period. Maternal suicide is tragically the most common cause of death for postpartum moms. When we spend less time packing a Tik-Tok-worthy birth bag and focus on a comprehensive recovery plan, we’re all going to feel better prepared. Babies will be better off, partners, employers, the community at large gains everything from a momma intentionally preparing for her post-birth life. There are plenty of ways that society isn’t rallying around new mothers, so the burden falls heavily on mom’s shoulders to spend more of her time preparing and less time waiting for it to happen to her. When we allow postpartum to just happen to us, we are fooling ourselves. When we intentionally prepare for postpartum, we have a completely different outcome that benefits everyone. 

So how can you intentionally prepare for postpartum? Here are our top 10 recommendations. Maybe you have a few of these already on your list of preparations, but as most mommas prepare hardly at all, we suggest you consider these 10 steps to ensure you’re set for a better postpartum at home.

1. Educate yourself on what postpartum is.

2. Enlist help with cleaning your house.

3. Make at least four postpartum stations around your house.

4. Enlist help if it isn’t offered and say “yes” if it is.

5. Stock your kitchen with nutrition.

6. Consider hiring a lactation consultant. 

7. Consider hiring a postpartum doula.

8. Consider hiring a mental health counselor.

9. Consider hiring a pelvic floor therapist.

10. Clearly communicate your boundaries for visitors.

For a more in-depth explanation on these 10 ways, we’ve written a two-part blog series that you can access here. 

Resist the urge to spend all your precious pregnancy time decorating the ultimate nursery, home-editing the baby’s closet and spending money on a custom mobile. Use those nine-ish months to also plan for what’s going to be happening to you. As moms, we begin neglecting ourselves as soon as we get the positive test result, whether intentionally or un-intentionally. Be proactive and have an intentional postpartum. It matters. 

Natalie McBride is co-founder of Baby Boldly, a mission driven e-commerce retail platform that is known for offering the first non-toxic, pre-packed hospital birth bag. She is married to her husband James for 10 years and together they share two daughters - Abigail (7) and Mabel (4). They reside in Jacksonville, FL.

Mindful Nutritional Habits for Your Mental Health

What if I told you that consuming fewer processed foods could lead to the betterment of your emotional and mental health? Would you consider making small changes to your diet? We definitely would!

Did you know that a lot of the processed food we eat on a day to day basis stimulate the dopamine centers in our brain? This area of our brain is associated with pleasure and reward.

Meaning that it becomes highly addictive to the point where we need these foods to feel good, but lets be honest, we only ever feel good for a quick moment. It never truly helps us in the longterm neither emotionally, mentally or even physically.

Here are a few healthy eating tips that can help you make small changes:

1. Create a healthy shopping list and stick to it.

2. Do not go shopping while hungry! When we are hungry we are more likely to grab everything that looks appetizing at the time. Typically causing us to make unhealthy choices and a lot of impulse purchases. Try to have a small meal or snack before your next trip to the grocery store.

3. Incorporate healthy fats such as avocado oil, olive oil, and coconut oil into your diet to help support brain function.

4. Do your best to limit processed snacks such as potato chips and soda. These can impair your ability to concentrate and tend to cause your energy levels to fluctuate. (It is perfectly okay to still enjoy these foods in moderation! Simply do your best to have them in moderation.)

5. When you’re hungry do your best to opt for a healthier option instead of the donuts or the chips sitting on your kitchen counter. Hard boiled eggs, fruits, or even nuts are all great options and will give you more energy than processed foods.

6. Try to be aware of when and where you eat. Do you usually eat in front of the television? Doing so can distract you and before you know it you’ve overeaten. Do your best to find a place where you can sit, relax and really acknowledge the food that you’re putting into your body. This will allow you to stop eating when you’re full because you will actually be aware of the food you’re intaking and listening to your body’s signals!

Although it may seem difficult to start changing your nutritional habits for the better, we promise you that taking small steps will ultimately help you jumpstart your journey to better nutrition and overall better emotional, mental and physical health.

Mental Health is Health - Break the Mental Health Stigma

It is important to be healthy, both mentally and physically. The two intertwine. How can we have a conversation with a colleague, or get a good night’s sleep when we are consumed with worry and thinking of something else.

We get annual checkups for physical health but how can we keep healthy mentally?

1. Take care of your basic needs:

When we feel down sometimes we don’t want to take care of our basic needs. Drinking water, sleeping regularly, and eating healthy are little big things that contribute to our mental health. Not sleeping regularly can affect your irritability and patience.

2. Maintain healthy relationships:

No one feels good when they feel lonely. Listen to others when they are speaking to you and share with them what is going on. Being with friend can increase social activity which can make us feel better about not being alone.

3. Exercising:

Believe it or not, exercising can improve your mental health! Exercise takes your mind away from other things and can allow you to focus on the present moment.

4. Treat your self every now and then:

Even though we may feel bad about buying something or doing something just for ourselves think about how far something small can go. Stop for ice cream on your way home or get a fun face mask, do something for YOU.

5. Practice being in the moment:

When we worry about things that have not happened or have already happened to us we are not able to see what IS happening in front of us. We can lose sight of what is happening in our lives and our hobbies, relationships, and sometimes jobs can be affected. When we are able to see what is happening and understand it we feel less distressed.

6. Journal:

Writing your thoughts and feelings down can help clear your brain of thoughts that can cause fear or sadness. We can make charts and illustrations with color, you can write letters (if you plan on sending them or not), or you can make lists. Having a safe place for your private feelings can give you a sense of safety.

7. Talk with a professional:

We know to go to the hospital for a broken bone, but what about a major worry? Going to see a mental health professional is very similar! Professionals can help figure out what is wrong and help relieve the problem.

Mental health is health. By taking care of your mind, your body will thank you and you will be able to do more of what you love to do. It is a synergistic relationship, with balance we can achieve great things.

Our Therapists Agree, It is Okay to Have "All the feels"

There are many emotions that we experience from day to day; anger, joy, excitement, happiness, guilt, sadness, fear, jealousy and the list goes on. Sometimes our emotions can make us feel overwhelmed and can be hard to understand. Knowing that emotions are normal and healthy can help you in see them in a healthy way.

It is easy to see why it’s important to feel happiness and joy, but why is it healthy to have uncomfortable emotions? What can anger, sadness, or fear do for us? Can our emotions benefit others as well as ourselves?

1. Anger and Sadness-

A lot of times we become angry, but anger comes from being passionate about something. We may honk at a driver that pulled out in front of us but you do so because you are passionate about your safety or the safety of those in your car. There are healthy ways we can cope with and control our anger. We can always talk with a professional or a loved one about things that make us angry. We can also take a step back and think about why this particular thing is making you feel anger. Sadness on the other hand can be harder to control as the things that make us sad at times may or may not be helped. We may not be able to retake a test, or find something that we lost. This propels us to avoid feeling sad in the future for the same reasons. Being sad means you care, just like being angry does.

2. Joy and Happiness-

Conversely, happiness and joy are positive emotions. When we hug someone we love or do well at work we can feel joy and happiness. When we are happy we are more likely to do things like exercise and be with friends and loved ones. We can often share this emotion and others sometimes will join you in feeling happy too.

3. Fear and Worry-

Experiencing fear and anxiety can help us avoid dangerous situations and are healthy and at times positive. You may experience fear before you ride a new roller coaster or you may be worried about a job interview. We can do things to alleviate these worries; prepare for situations in advance and anticipate being nervous. Talking with a professional about your fears can also be helpful in working through them.

All emotions are okay to feel.

Without emotions we would just be a bunch of robots. Understanding that every emotion we have plays an important part of who we are and what we need, is the key to becoming more self aware.

Healthcare Workers, You are Mighty Warriors

March is already here again and the only thing I can think about is growth, change and adaptation. Weathering natural disasters, storms of humanity, and storms of this new normal life of quarantine. Though I had plans to engage in a blog about boundaries, women’s achievements, and safe spaces, none of that seems relevant enough because we have all had to adjust those things within this past year. 

Today marks the awful anniversary of COVID coming to Florida and making us all pivot our 2020 plans, which have now been postponed for months.

It has been an entire year of recreating the boundaries we had worked hard to set and grieving with the hardships of family members, friends, or community members who have been affected by this virus. But through it all, you are here. 

You are a warrior and a survivor.

Today I want to talk about resilience and growth.

Here are 3 steps to start taking that can help you grow and make your 2021 dreams a reality, COVID or no COVID.

1. Live in the present moment: this is easy to say but difficult to practice. We are constantly connected and our fast pace world rarely allows for any down time. The practice of being one with yourself, your mind and body is one that helps us stay grounded. It is this concept that can help us stay calm in the middle of a storm.

2. Let go of what you can not control: staying focused on things that we can not change does not allow us to grow. This process makes us feel stuck and does not lead to productivity. By focusing on controlling our thoughts, feelings and behavior we can actually accomplish more. You can not control the pandemic but you can control if you wear a mask, when and if you leave your house, and who you associate with.

3. Have gratitude for what you have: giving thanks is always a great way to combat anxiety. By being thankful we focus on what we have and not on what we lack. Having gratitude helps us stay positive and helps us overcome fear.

This is my reminder that you have survived 100% of your hardest days. Every single day that you felt like you could not make it through, or that you simply did not have it in you- you did. When we experience life altering events that are unexpected and last for more time than we could have planned for, your brain might get tired and your heart might become heavy.

Remember that you have done it before, and it only gets better from here. 

This month let’s focus together on what we can accomplish. let us face it, we have already made it this far.

Treasure Your Friendships - Our Therapists Suggestions

Human beings want to love and be loved. We want to build connections that we treasure and make ourselves part of a group. We search for people whom we trust and appreciate. Some people may have smaller inner circles and others may have larger inner circles. Though we often think of a significant other when we hear the word love, there is another category of people who you may love even more- your best friends. 

Friendships are constantly evolving, ever changing, sometimes painful, but oftentimes rewarding. But, I am sure we all know when push comes to shove, friends get the short end of the stick in the hierarchy of life.

Between work, school, relationships, kids, family, and the ongoing list of things that need to be accomplished, where do we fit our friends?  When managing our own mental health, how do we manage our friendships too? 

The good news is, it is possible.

How do you fit in time for friends?

Sometimes all it takes is a phone call in between errands. A good rule of thumb would be simply to be honest. Tell your friends what you have planned and what is on your mind. True friends, who are around for the long haul will understand. I mean, let's be honest, they are probably busy too!

Other ways to keep a healthy balance would be to plan in advance, hang out in groups, or even ask them to join you on daily tasks. Balancing friendships and everyday chores can help you keep your routine entertaining and your friendships intact.

What makes a good friend?

Everyone has different values and non-negotiable items, these are things that we would not go back and forth on in relationships. Good friends typically have some common values like trustworthiness, being non-judgmental, being able to express empathy, and being a good listener.

What are signs of a poor friendship?

Poor friendships can hurt or harm us just as much as good friends can help and encourage us. Some common characteristics could be a friend who takes but does not have the time to give, they are not honest with you, or they do not support you. If you feel like you are constantly doing and giving, chances are you are doing too much for your friend. This might be a sign that you need to re-evaluate your friendship values.

Finding a great friend is like finding a hidden treasure, full of excitement and wonder.

We all know being a good friend is hard work and finding good friends is even harder. Being true to yourself and being honest with those you care about can help you navigate through this busy life, with some people who you truly love and appreciate!

Self-Growth is a Steady Mental Health Journey

This week I decided I needed to take my own advice.

As I have been writing about self-care, self-growth and the preservation of the love we have for our own selves, I came to the realization that these things are much easier said than done. I looked in the mirror and saw someone I love, but she’s not quite present on the surface. The part of me that loves myself to the fullest potential was hiding somewhere deep within.

So, the question stands:

How do I find the version of me that is capable of loving myself, and others, to my fullest potential?

Well, first I had to figure out what was shadowing me and what it was that was dimming my light. This was not easy. This came with tears and telling myself some things that I had been pushing behind me for a long while now. I thought about why I felt like I am not good enough, why I felt like I need someone else to love me, for me to love myself, and why I allow the opinion of others to affect my mood and cloud the lens that I see the world through. Ironically, the answers were simple.

Some very hard questions that revolve around a simple explanation:

I was afraid.

I was afraid that the negative people that surround me are, in fact, right. I was afraid that the ME I see every day in the mirror is not the version of me others perceive. I was afraid that I will never get my happy ending.

This, though, is negative self-talk; something we may acknowledge but ultimately want to stay away from. There is no good reason to consistently try to believe the negative accusations that you direct at yourself.

So, I joined a yoga class. In my practice I focused fully on my breath and my intension. I brought those negative feelings in with me and I let them melt away through my pores as I went through the flow of Vinyasa.

By the end of my practice that day, the stress and anxiety that filled my head and my heart had calmed down and I finally felt grounded for the time being.

After this I suggested connecting with loved ones. So, that is what I did. I met my sister for dinner and we talked about irrelevant topics like school and how we want to redecorate our rooms. A day that started so wound up and uncomfortable turned slowly into a calm, comfortable conversation.

The last step is to set a goal. I am often very busy and find myself feeling overwhelmed by all of my responsibilities so I had to truly think about what I needed. I needed to feel comfortable in my own skin. I needed to be calm and collected while I navigate my day. I needed to show myself that I am capable of giving my body and mind more love than it has been receiving.

With that being said, I set two goals:

My first goal is to attend at least four yoga classes a week. These classes will help me become more in-tune with my physical self, helping me feel grounded in the process.

My second goal is to make time for breakfast every day. I do not always have time for more then a coffee and a quick bite on the go. Changing this routine will not only help adjust my health and eating habits it will become a healthier alternative for my mental stability and sleep cycle by creating a routine and forcing myself to make time for one specific thing each day.

I have been active in following through with these goals for two weeks now. After a week of this routine I felt better. My mind had found a safe space and I began to understand how much I had truly been neglecting myself.

After two weeks, I am thrilled. I have started to see changes in my physical self and I am finally focused on creating a better me for ME, not for others. My path may not be the right path for you, everyone is different, but I encourage you to find one.

As the wise Buddha once said, “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

Our Therapists Share How to Spring Clean Your Self-Care Routine

What do you think of when you hear the phrase “spring cleaning”? Do you envision the dirt and dust that has accumulated throughout the year around your living space or do you imagine a pile of material objects that you are able to toss or donate? It seems that we, as human beings, tend to follow this mindset that if we clean up our external world then our internal world will fall into place. But what if we were to “spring clean” from the inside out? If we were to make a conscious choice to take care of our internal dirt and dust, then our external world may seem less overwhelming when it comes time to renew and clean during the Spring season.

You may be wondering how you begin to inwardly spruce up. It can start by beginning to understand your need for self-care and establishing a routine that works for you. Self-care is ways that you take care of yourself emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. It is about connecting with your body and mind and asking for what you need. Asking for what you need can be difficult if you are used too often caring for others before caring for yourself. I am going to ask that you read the steps below for establishing a self-care routine and TRY. All you can do is try and begin to practice caring for yourself. Self-care can be a stumbling point for me, especially as a new counselor in the field, so I will work hard to practice these steps right along with you.

Steps to Creating A Self Care Routine

1. Sleep When You Are Tired: This one may seem obvious but in today’s fast-paced world, it can difficult to find time to rest your body and sleep. This step is not saying that you need to give things up to sleep but to determine how to get the best amount of sleep for your body and lifestyle. Sleeping is so important to be able to recharge physically, emotionally and mentally.

2. Eat Until You Are Satisfied: After overindulging, have you ever felt sluggish, sick and just generally zapped? I know I have. This step challenges you to recognize the sign your body is giving you when you have reached a point of satisfaction while eating without feeling overly full. Eating to feel satisfied can leave you feeling less like taking a nap and more like taking on the day in between meals.

3. Find Time for Yourself: Finding time for yourself can be just five minutes throughout the day to practice your deep breathing, dance to your favorite song in your living room or listen to a song that brings you joy. It can be anything really as long as it is something that is meaningful to you and gives you space to channel your own energy.

4. Allow Yourself to Feel Your Feelings: This is so challenging but one of the most important parts of caring for yourself. This includes even those negative feelings that can be uncomfortable to feel. It may seem like you are being selfish for saying no to that person’s request, not wanting to be another person’s friend or letting someone know that they may have made you angry, but it is not selfish. Self-confidence comes with beginning to know all emotions are acceptable. Learning to recognize and express how you are truly feeling helps to make you more whole for YOU and everyone else.

5. Be Present: We hear this a lot in today’s fast-paced world but how many times do we truly take time to practice this? This includes unplugging from work responsibilities, phones, computers, tablets, etc. and just being there to experience your life. Maybe you take a walk and notice the colors of the foliage around you or you tune into what your dinner partner/partners are saying without any external distractions. You can even take a moment while at work or home to just recognize the colors around you. Whatever it might be, being present for a moment and not thinking about the mistake you made yesterday or the project you have due tomorrow begins to teach you how to connect with
your life.

All of the above is a guide for how to start asking for what you need. You can add to this list or pick out the most important steps for you and begin incorporating them into your life at your pace. However, you decide to begin, start small and give yourself grace along the way. Dusting and sweeping each area of your life takes time.

The New Normal

Miss Indiana, Mekayla Diehl has been attracting positive recognition since the swimsuit competition during the Miss USA broadcast. Diehl revealed that she weighs 135 pounds and does not consider herself curvy. She attributes her great figure to working out and eating healthy.  

Although she has managed to attract positive reactions, the question remains: Is this the new normal? Well no, a female weighing 135 pounds or being curvy is not new. What is new, is females with different body types are gaining confidence and are not afraid to show off their bodies! 

Having confidence is important for all girls from a very young age. Many girls grow up looking at stick figure models and idealize this body figure. The majority of the girls idolizing these models are also experiencing insecurities. They begin to formulate the idea that looking thin and being secure are the same thing. This idea grows and can become dangerous, to the point of starvation and eating disorders!

Prevention and early intervention when it comes to teaching girls about body image and feeling secure about their bodies is one way to stop the "I want to be thin" craze. Now that America has responded in a positive manner to Miss Indiana let us keep spreading the confidence. Females have to learn that by the way we think, act and feel about our bodies we can continue to teach others that loving ourselves is most important!